Rachel spent a sleepless night in the hotel room, lying beside Craig on the big king-sized bed. She woke once in the grip of a nightmare, imagining that the man named Ericsson was choking her to death, but it was the sheet that had wrapped around her neck in all her twisting and turning. She glanced over at the bed beside theirs and saw Sadie asleep, her stuffed Bratz doll tightly gripped in her arm.
Sadie was all right.
She was safe and that was all that mattered.
Rachel lay on her back and stared at the ceiling. The smoke detector's red light flashed every so often, and Rachel tried counting it as a way to fall back asleep, but it wasn't working.
She was afraid of going back to talk to authorities about what happened. What if they suspected she was really the one who killed both men?
They'd arrest her, put her in jail and the judge would deem that she was a flight risk and keep her there until her trial, which could take months. In truth, Rachel had never planned on going back with Tess and Michael.
She had promised to cooperate with authorities in the FBI and police in Seattle if they needed her to do another interview or even testify in any case involving the murders, but she'd lied. There were men who knew who she was and what she had done. Sutton and her father had been live streaming their rape of Sadie and had caught parts of the killings. That was probably why Ericsson had returned to the crime scene and had taken the memory card that Michael found in the fire pit. In the mayhem after Rachel had broken free and attacked Sutton, he had knocked down the camera that fed the live stream so that at most, viewers would have seen only brief glimpses of Rachel attacking him.
But still. A skilled video technician could find out who she was.
She had only agreed to cooperate with police to get their help with Sadie. Once Sadie was safe, Rachel had every intention to leave and go as far away from Seattle as possible.
Craig had fought the idea at first.
"They helped rescue Sadie," he said, frowning at her suggestion that they leave before dawn. "You said you'd go back."
"I know, but I don't want anyone to know where we are. It's safer that way."
He'd finally and reluctantly agreed, but not before arguing everything one more time.
"You've got no reason to be afraid if you go into police custody," he said, trying one last time as they packed up Craig's vehicle.
"I do have reason to be afraid," she said. "How do you know that cops aren't part of this? Remember we watched that series about the guy who was put in jail for eighteen years for a rape he didn't commit? Can you promise me that the cops won't decide to charge me with killing them? Cops are as corrupt as everyone else."
"Michael seems pretty decent. Besides, there's no way you could have killed them. They were both grown men."
Rachel said nothing for a moment. Luckily, no one around her suspected that she could have killed Sutton and her father. Even Craig seemed dismissive of the idea that Rachel could have killed the men, but of course he was wrong. He underestimated how far Rachel would go to protect Sadie.
"Michael does seem good, but what about others?" she said finally. "How would we know that the cops in Missoula are any better than the cops in Seattle or Tacoma or in Calexico? There are dirty cops everywhere. I'll never be safe if anyone knows I was involved in that murder."
"You weren't involved," Craig protested. "You were a victim."
Rachel sighed. She wanted to confess to Craig what really happened, but would he leave her if he knew she was the murderer? That she'd murdered her own father?
If anyone found out the truth, they'd arrest her and send her to jail. Even if she was able to argue that she did it in self-defense, she'd probably get some time for leaving the scene of a crime, and covering it up afterward, not reporting it and leaving the country.
That would mean they'd take Sadie away and put her into foster care. Craig had no legal standing in her life. They weren't married. She had no living relatives that she knew of who could care for Sadie if she went to prison.
She would never let Sadie go into foster care. That would never happen, no matter what. While Tess and Michael had gone to a lot of trouble to find her and help her get Sadie back, and escape the cartel, she couldn't go into police protection.
As they drove off, Rachel was glad to be leaving, even though doing so without notice and before saying goodbye had been difficult.
Sadie's future was more important than Washington State’s desire to clean up all the loose threads in their case.
They stopped at a small motel on the outskirts of Salt Lake City after having driven for almost eleven hours. Sadie was asleep in the back of Craig's vehicle and so after they checked in, Craig carried Sadie into the room and put her into the second double bed. Rachel tucked her in and kissed her forehead, glad that nothing bad had happened to her while she was with Miguel. She had only been used as an assistant to the housekeeper. It probably amused Miguel to have a gringo as a servant.
Rachel didn't care what Miguel thought or how much he enjoyed it. She was relieved to be free from his control, safe and on their way to live somewhere completely new. She did want to move to Montana, but maybe not Missoula. Somewhere small, but close enough to civilization so that Craig could get work. As for Rachel, she could always work in a bar or restaurant, or even at a hotel in housekeeping. She didn't care what or how demeaning. It would mean she was free and had her family with her.
"Are you sure we shouldn't go to Missoula and contact Michael? I'd feel better knowing we have the police on our side, in case we need them."
Rachel exhaled in frustration.
"Craig," she said and turned to face him, her hands on his arms. "I killed them."
He frowned, his brow creasing. "What?"
"I killed both of them," she said, her voice breaking a bit.
"No," he said and shook his head, apparently unable to get his head around the fact that she was a killer. "How?"
She sighed, not sure she wanted to go into it all, but he had to know. It wasn't fair of her to use him to get Sadie back and not tell him the absolute awful truth. She had to finally come clean -- about everything. About that night in the cabin, who her father was and what kind of life she'd led before she came to Seattle and before she met Craig.
Craig -- the man who loved her deeply and who would do anything in his power to save her and Sadie.
She owed him the unvarnished truth, even though it might turn him against her.
"My father abducted Sadie. When I went to pick her up from school, Sutton got in my car and we drove out to the cabin. Sutton took me into the cabin then he knocked me out. I woke up while they were abusing Sadie. I managed to get out of my zip-ties because of that knife I wore at my ankle. Luckily, Sutton didn't check me for weapons, so I was able to use it to cut my zip-ties. Then, I used it to kill Sutton. They were both high and so their reaction time was reduced. I stabbed my father and he ran out to the outhouse. I killed him and I pushed him into the hole.”
Craig sat there, dumbfounded, his mouth open. He blinked several times and she knew he was struggling to process what she'd told him. Of course he would -- she wasn't a big woman. She was only average in height, but she had been training for the previous six months and had taken self-defense classes, which taught her to be aggressive.
When the time came, she was ready.
"You killed them both?" Craig said, his tone disbelieving.
"I killed them both."
He sat quietly, then turned to watch Sadie, who was asleep on the other bed. Finally, he shook his head and turned back to face Rachel.
"You're afraid that they'll put you away for it," he said, and she nodded.
"They put that young girl in prison, who killed the man who raped her. For thirty years, Craig. They want to punish any woman who kills someone, even if it was in self-defense. They'll put me in jail, especially now that I left the country and didn't report the murders. That means they'll take Sadie and put her in foster care."
Craig shook his head. "No, there's no way I would let them put her in foster care," he said. "I'd look after her. Don't you understand that? You're both my family. I think of Sadie as my daughter."
Rachel shrugged and glanced away, the emotion in Craig's eyes making it harder to bear. "They wouldn't let her go to you. We're not married. You have no legal standing with her."
"Let's get married," Craig said, his voice sounding enthusiastic. "Today. Let's find a justice of the peace and get married. If we're husband and wife, then I'll have rights to be Sadie's parent if anything happens to you. We can go to Missoula and we could even go into witness protection. You can say that you arrived at the cabin after they were killed, and they'll believe it. That guy Ericsson is their main suspect and he's dead. There's no way they'll know the truth and besides, if they believe he did it and he's dead, they'll close the case. The DA promised that you wouldn't be prosecuted for leaving town and not reporting the murders. He understood why."
Rachel smiled and touched Craig's cheek affectionately. He was so good.
"I wish I could go there. But I'm afraid."
"Let's get married. Seriously. I've wanted to ask you but when you left, I figured you didn't love me anymore, so I didn't. I had no idea why. Now I understand. Let's get married today."
She sighed, because it would ensure that if anything happened to her, Craig would be Sadie's legal guardian. Even if they didn't go to Missoula, they would be married. In case she died for some reason, accidentally, at least Sadie would have him. He would be her stepfather. Rachel knew he loved her. He never thought he'd get married because he was so odd, and uncomfortable around women, so he was elated when they got together.
She knew he would love Sadie for her, if anything happened.
"Okay," she said and smiled. "We'll get married. How quickly can we do it?
Craig smiled and pulled her into his arms. They kissed and he pulled back.
"I think we have to go to the county clerk and pay for a license. Then we pay the justice of the peace to perform the ceremony. Voilà. We're married. Let's do it today, here in Salt Lake City. It's so beautiful here. We should stay for a couple of days and relax."
"Okay," Rachel said and leaned against him, allowing her usually reserved heart to swell a bit.
In the morning, before she did anything else, Rachel sat down and spoke with Sadie.
“Honey, Craig and I are going to get married today, if we can. What do you think of that?”
Sadie was ecstatic. “Can I be the flower girl?”
Rachel laughed, tears brimming in her eyes at the happiness she saw in Sadie’s face.
“Of course. We’re not having that kind of wedding, with a big dress and flowers and everything, but you could hold my bouquet when I need you to. How about that?”
Sadie nodded with enthusiasm.
Rachel next called the Salt Lake County Clerk and made an appointment to get married. After showering, dressing in the best clothes they had, and eating breakfast, the three of them drove to a local drug store, where Rachel picked out a cheap fake diamond ring to use in the ceremony and a small bouquet of flowers from a grocer. Craig promised he would get Rachel a real diamond once they were settled somewhere. Then, they drove downtown to the County Clerk's office, paid for the marriage license and, with no fanfare and two admin staff acting as their witnesses, Rachel and Craig were married by the Justice of the Peace on staff, with Sadie next to them, her eyes wide and the bouquet of flowers in her hands. Luckily, they had all the documentation both needed to get a marriage license in Utah -- a driver's license and social security number.
Once they were married and got a photo taken for posterity, they drove back to the motel and spent the day beside the pool while Sadie swam and played on the small swing set in the motel complex.
"We did it," Craig said and squeezed Rachel's hand. "We're husband and wife."
"Not very romantic, but it'll have to do. Maybe someday, we can take a honeymoon and go somewhere nice."
"We will," Craig said and kissed Rachel's knuckles.
They turned and watched Sadie playing in the pool.
Craig knew what happened and it didn't matter to him. He still loved Rachel and Sadie.
Maybe -- just maybe -- they could actually go to Missoula after all.