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Jamison
I’m wandering, again, in the forest in my animal form and I can hear the screeching of the red macaws, but I can’t see them yet. Jim is wandering around as well, chasing a rodent. My head swivels and the red flashes above me and it’s like the same thing I saw six months ago. Three red flashes madly flying overhead, and one slams into the tree, then falls to the ground.
I run as fast as I can over to the fallen bird, and I know it’s Samuel again. The other two birds drop down and shift into their human forms on contact with the forest floor. I shift quickly as I stop by the fallen bird form.
“This is my mate! Do not touch him and I will care for him!” The male says to me.
“Bullshit he is. I don’t smell the mating scent on him. He is unmated as of now.” I grumble.
“Well, he is part of our trio, and we haven’t gotten that far yet. As you can tell, Amy, my other mate is already claimed by me, we were just getting to Samuel here and then he was stupid and smacked into this tree.” He rambles on.
“I can take him to my home, and he can rest until he awakens. I can care for him. I did it once before.”
“So that’s where he vanished off to! Did you kidnap him then?” He gets aggravated with me.
“I did no such thing. He fell. You two idiots flew off and left him. I carried him to my home. Fed him. Gave him a warm bed to sleep in and I drove him to the hotel the next morning.” I explain to this idiot that’s hovering over the still unconscious red bird.
“I can take him to our clan, he will wake up where he’s supposed to be, and we can finish the mating there. Excuse us!” The male reaches down to pick up Samuel’s limp body.
“Like hell you are!” I growl, my animal is right at the end of his rope and is peeking out in my eyes.
“Don’t let him take our mate!” My animal screams at me in my head.
“I won’t. He’s ours.” I grumble back to my inner animal.
The growl that emanates from my chest and animal must scare the two away as they burst into their birds and flap the fuck off. About time. Now I can carry Sam back to my place and care for him the way a true mate is supposed to. Jim has come back after hearing the yelling between me and the male shifter. He trots behind me, growling at the other shifters.
Wait...
Mate?
Did I just hear my animal whisper that? Did I just say it myself? Could this be happening to me? After all this time and waiting for nothing. Being alone all this time and then have my mate fall in my arms, literally?
I walk back to my place, knowing that by the time I get there, Samuel’s shifter healing abilities will have healed anything broken, or hurt in his crash and fall.
Ten minutes later, I’m entering my home and placing him on the couch. I walk back to my bedroom and throw on a pair of shorts and a tee shirt. As I make my way back into the living room, pulling my shirt down over my stomach, I glance up and see Samuel starting to sit up from the couch, his hand on his forehead. Jim walks over to his bowls and eats a snack and drinks a bit of water. A minute later, he disappears into the back room, I’m sure for a nap.
“Hey, are you going to be okay or are you going to need human med’s?” I talk softly, knowing he has a headache.
Samuel turns around to face me, his cheeks reddening. “I’m okay. Just a slight headache. It’ll be gone soon. Thanks.”
The air is thick with tension, and I can feel my nerves tingle with anxiety. I don’t know how to act around him. I can think of him, and I’m fine, but having him in the same room, I feel stupid because I’m such an introvert and not good around people.
I wipe my palms down my sweats, twitch my fingers and shake out my hands. My feet want to pace, and my heart picks up in speed. I can’t even look at him without breaking out in a sweat on my brow.
“You look good, but still thin. I can make you some food or do you need to get back with your friends?” I ask him because he does need to put on a bit of weight. And if he were mine, he’d be eating and looking healthy.
“I don’t want to burden you with me being here. Don’t worry about making food unless you were going to do it for yourself. I should be going now.” I hear his words, but he makes no movement to get up.
“You don’t have to leave, and I was going to make some dinner for myself. You’re welcome to stay as long as you like.” Or for forever. I think in my head. My beast agreeing with my thought.
“Oh, okay then. Food would be a good idea.” He says looking around my living room then stands.
He’s hesitant. Maybe scared of being here. There’s something off about him this time around. He was shy before, but now...there’s something distant in his eyes. Troubling him in some silent way.
“Are you okay?” I ask quietly.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Why? Do I not look okay?” He walks over and sits on a chair at the small kitchen table.
“You just look, I don’t know, like you’re sad or something. My beast is telling me there’s something wrong.”
“I really don’t want to talk about it, if that’s okay for right now. It’s just too much to go over.” He whispers.
I can hear and see his hurt, his sadness and anguish in his words. He’s been hurt and I’m wondering if it was from the two that were chasing him. Maybe his family. From what I remember from those six months ago, he isn’t fond of them.
An hour later and the food is consumed and cleaned up from the kitchen. Wondering what to do, I wander to the front porch and sit in one of the chairs. He follows me a minute later and sits in the other one next to me.
“You know, I’m here if you want to talk about anything. Or we can just sit here and enjoy the quiet. I just want to let you know, I won’t judge you or anything you want to tell me.”
“I know, and I appreciate it more than you know. I truly appreciate it.”
We sit in silence for a while, listening to the bugs, birds and outdoor creatures making their way through the forest just a few meters from my porch. With my animal eyes peeking through, I can see the small animals scurrying in the underbrush, and it wants to come out to play. But I think that maybe now isn’t the time to do so.
“I’m going to go stretch my wings for a bit, if that’s okay with you?” Samuel suddenly says.
“Sure, why wouldn’t it? Do you mind if I come with you? My beast is itching to come out and meet you, but I wasn’t sure if that was okay.” I look down to my feet, embarrassed of my thoughts.
“Yes, you shouldn’t have to ask me, this is your home, not mine. You’re free to do as you wish here.” He says shyly.
“I just didn’t want to scare you or your bird with my beast, is all. No species of mine is around anymore. I’m the last of my troop. We were gunned down where I used to live, and only I survived. So, my beast is gentle, scared and shy...but he wants to know you and your animal.” I reply, looking at his eyes.
“Yes, I can’t wait to meet your animal.” He says excitedly.
I whistle a short chirp, while opening the front door and Jim bounds from the back room. Samuel gasps in surprise at me having a dog. “This is Jim.” I say quickly at introductions. Jim takes off for the forest and does his own thing.
Samuel jumps from his chair on the porch and walks down the five steps to the grass below. He looks up to the evening sun and blue sky. His eyes are closed, and he slowly raises his arms, palms up and his body shimmers, slowly shrinking and changing into his beautiful red macaw. His shape shifts and takes flight before it hits the grass.
I watch him from start to finish and it’s beautiful to watch. He flies to the nearest tree branch and lands quietly, then squawks back to me. I chuckle only thinking of what he just said to me in his mind.
I drop my clothes to the floor of the porch then down the steps to the grass below. I inhale through my nostrils and close my eyes. I can feel the beast within, pull and push my muscles and bones to where they need to be. When I open my eyes, I’m on the ground on all fours and in my Silver Backed gorilla animal.
I can see Sam in the tree above me as I enter the forest and he takes flight between the branches. I catch up with him as much as I can in my form, I’m fast when I want or need to be, but I want today to be an easy evening. I want my beast and the red beauty to get to know each other. I want to let my animal get to know his mate, as he calls him. I can feel it too. I know Samuel is my mate but if he is, then he should feel it too. And I don’t think I can feel that from him. Yet.
Maybe he’s shy. Maybe he hasn’t felt it yet. Maybe I’m just being a sentimental old fool. Wishing for something I may never have. I’ve been alone for this long, maybe it’s just meant to be, me being alone.
I pull myself from my own mind and negative thinking when I hear him above me. I look up and his red feathers are straight out, fluttering in the breeze. I trundle through the grass and dead pine needles and glance up every few seconds to make sure he’s following me.
I slow down once I reach the stream and the red berries to munch on. Sam lowers to the ground next to me, his head swiveling around, looking for danger. I’m the only one here with him, but I can understand his need to check. He’s not from around here. He doesn’t know the dangers here.
After an hour or so of me munching on the berries and him flying and jumping on branches watching me, I amble back to my home, him flying low over top me. I walk out of the forest onto my porch, shifting into my human skin once more.
I grab my pants and tug them on over my naked skin. Then grab my shirt. Samuel is dressed and in his human skin again and is sitting on the top step, watching me. I’ve never felt self-conscious before of my being naked, we did it all the time as kids, and me here by myself. But with Samuel here, watching me get dressed, I think maybe he doesn’t like what he sees. And I’m bothered by that thought.
I never had a girlfriend, or boyfriend for that matter. I’ve never had any relationship with anyone. Unless it was just talking to someone at the supermarket in town or I’ve gone in for supplies that I needed for home or the truck.
I look back over my shoulder again and see that he has averted his eyes and is looking back into the forest we just came out of. It’s a bit darker now that the sun is setting. He seems lost in thought. I contemplate over whether I should leave him to his thoughts or sit next to him and see if he wants to talk about what’s troubling him.
Jim hasn’t come back yet, but he knows his way home and uses the doggy door I installed for him. He’ll come back when he’s ready. I want to focus on Samuel for right now.
“Just go sit next to him. Maybe he will just start talking.” My silverback speaks to me in my mind.
“He’s never seen my animal shifter self...maybe I scared him off.” My human replies.
“Nonsense. He’s a bird shifter...he lives in Florida...there must be other rare animal shifters around.”
“Yes, there must be...but I am the only silverback in this area that I know of. Everyone else was killed.” I mutter.
“If you’re so upset by his actions, why don’t you ask him what’s bothering him then? Maybe he will open to you. His bird is calling out and is upset, like his human soul is aching.” My animal suggests.
“Humph, how did you get so wise and smart? We are two identities sharing in the same vessel.” If we were sitting side by side, I would cock my head at him and I ask this.
“Therefore, we each complement each other, and we know each other so well. I am more outgoing, and you are more secluded. Your trauma lives longer in your mind and soul. I am but an animal, and although I miss my troop fiercely, they are in a more peaceful realm, and I have accepted that. I am here with you and have accepted us as one.”
This is the most my beast has spoken to me in my mind in a very long time and its mind-blowing on the intelligence he emanates. I follow his urging and sit on the step next to Samuel. He doesn’t move or flinch as I get comfortable on the hard, wooden step. I lean back, resting my elbows on the top step, stretching my long legs out in front of me, folding one ankle over the other.
As I’m waiting for Samuel to speak, I close my eyes, and tip my head back, letting the remaining sun seep into my skin. Not much longer and it will be summer, and I can already feel the earth blooming all around me.
As I’m soaking in the last of the sun’s warm rays, I can hear Samuel squirming on the step, and his breathing. I can hear the way he shuffles his body and is wanting to talk but seems unsure of what he wants to say or how to start a conversation with me. What the hell happened to him since I saw him last?
“Um, Jamison?” he finally squeaks out.
“Yes, Samuel.” I whisper.
“Can we talk? I need to explain some things to you. But could we go inside for this conversation?” I glance over to him and I can see his hands fiddling in his lap.
I stand up, stretch my arms up over my head, and stand on tip toes and pull all my muscles out. I can feel his eyes roaming my body as I do so, and it makes me smile. Just knowing I can make him look at me that way.
“Sure, let’s go inside. I could use something to drink.” I open the door and allow him in first.
Reaching for a glass in the cupboard, I fill it up with the facet water and chug it down quickly. “Do you want something?” I ask as I set the glass on the counter for later use. Why use another for the same thing later?
“No thanks.” I watch as he sits on the couch in my living room and looks out the front window.
I follow his sightline and he’s gazing out into the woods. I sit in my recliner next to the couch and patiently wait him out. I don’t own a TV or radio, so the only sound is our breathing and natures evening sounds coming in the windows from outside.
I cross my ankles and rest my folded hands on my stomach, looking outside as well. A few minutes later, Samuel huffs out a breath and looks at me. Whatever he’s going to tell me is big, and I relax my muscles and breathing, allowing him to tell me what he needs to get off his chest.
I lean forward and let him know I’m ready to hear him out. He looks out the window, to his hands, and back at me a few times before he’s comfortable in what he’s going to tell me.
“Have patience with him. Whatever he’s about to tell you, it’s important for him to tell you and he’s doing his best to find the easiest way to tell you.” My beast tells me.
I blow out a breath, and close my eyes, “Yes I know. I will listen to him before I comment. This is very important to him to tell me whatever is bothering him.”
I feel my beast nod in agreement, and I feel him settle, which helps me settle as well. I sit up further in my chair, turn and lock eyes on Samuel and he looks scared. Not of me, but of what he’s going to tell me.
“Jamison...”
