I was right to suspect you, Sebastian. I knew in my heart you were bad news even though I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt, see the good in you. You hurt her, betrayed her. Lied to her. Just like the rest of them. Even Charles let her down in the end. His was the ultimate betrayal and one she’s never truly recovered from. It’s why she needs me, even though she doesn’t know it. No one can take care of her the way I do. More than anything I want us to be able to talk, to connect like old friends might. But I know how temperamental she can be, so I’ve not yet dared show myself to her after all these years of hiding in the shadows. It’s a risk I can’t take just yet. Particularly given how she reacted when Dr Adams told her something at the end of a session all those years ago. Not long after she started seeing him. An incident I later read about in the journal he urged her to keep. Something that shocked her to her core and took her some time to recover from. It’s why I had to shut the good doctor up recently. Because he found out about me. My cover finally blown. He planned on telling her everything last Monday. That’s why he arranged their meeting. I had nothing against the man per se. And I’m sorry for the loved ones he’s left behind. But I didn’t have a choice. She always comes first.
Thankfully, I am not like her. Emotional, impetuous. I am disciplined, guarded. I choose my moments wisely. I know when it’s safe to come out of the shadows and when I must stay well-concealed. And for now, I must stay hidden.
I press play on the recording saved to my phone and watch her screwing you. I cannot believe you had the nerve to sleep with her in her own house, Sebastian, after the message I sent you. I was wrong to believe you were different to Ethan. To think that you went ahead and fucked her when you knew only too well I might be watching, listening, is breathtakingly arrogant, sick even, and it’s something that deserves to be punished. She also knew I could be watching, but I forgive her because I know how needy she is, despite my warning. She yearns for affection the way I yearn to keep her safe, and it’s an urge she can’t repel, just as I am powerless against my desire to protect her.
I’d like to think she’ll kick you out for talking to Stella behind her back, knowing it was against the rules. But I’m not sure she will. With Ethan having only just met a nasty end, it might look suspicious to others that you couldn’t even last a week as her new lodger. It’s why I can’t take matters into my own hands either. Reluctantly, I will leave things be a while longer. As much as I want to punish you, to put a stop to your snooping.
She shouldn’t have told you that Dr Adams was murdered, that was a mistake, and I worry it’ll only give you cause to fish some more. Then again, she wasn’t to know you’d talked to Stella. Found out things you should have steered clear of.
I will watch and wait. I will follow you and find out what it is you’re hiding. For I feel sure it’s something juicy. Something that will make her see sense.
Make her rue the day she ever met you.