I enter my art studio and shut the door behind me. I haven’t been in here for over a week, what with all that’s gone on. But it’s one of the few places I feel able to close myself off from the world and think. Something I need to do more than ever right now. It was torture acting like everything was fine with Seb just now in the kitchen; looking him in the eye and telling him it was best we keep things platonic between us when all I could visualise in my mind at that moment was him holding me, kissing me, making love to me. When I woke up this morning, I planned on saying I’d overreacted last night and that, before we argued, I’d felt the happiest I had done in weeks. That I didn’t want us to just be friends, that more than anything I wanted us to repeat last night. To feel the closeness and warmth of his skin against mine. But all that changed when I checked my phone for messages and saw that I had another email from the bastard who’s been watching me and this house.
Haven’t you learnt anything by now, Adriana? After all that happened with Ethan? How can you be so gullible, so needy? So pathetically desperate? If you allow yourself to get close to Sebastian, he’s going to find out your secret, you mark my words. He’s already asking questions, talking to others behind your back. He’ll wheedle it out of you and then even I won’t be able to help you. You need to finish things with Sebastian, because otherwise you’ll end up telling him something you shouldn’t, and then it’ll be too late.
End things, or I’ll have to deal with him like I dealt with Ethan. I don’t want to do that. Two lodgers meeting a tragic end under your roof in such a short time frame is going to look suspicious, you must realise that. And so I’m hoping you’ll see sense and do the right thing. And don’t even think about checking your house for listening devices or cameras. If you do, you’ll be putting Sebastian’s life in danger, and knowing the way you feel about him, I’m guessing that’s not what you want. The fact is, you need me to keep an eye on you, even if you don’t realise or appreciate it. Plus, don’t forget, I know your secret.
End things this morning. Or else…
I wanted to be sick when I read the message. As Seb and I made love last night I knew at the back of my mind that there was every chance we were being watched. But I’d wanted Seb so badly I purposely blotted the thought out. Just as I had this morning when I resolved to tell him that I didn’t want whatever we’d started to end. It was dumb of me to accuse him of talking to Stella behind my back knowing someone might be listening at the time. In doing so, I’ve made this creep angry and potentially put Seb’s life in danger. But I was livid that he’d betrayed me. Couldn’t help myself, my emotions getting the better of me. Seb is not the enemy, I know that. It’s the psycho who’s controlling my every move I need to be watchful of. It angers me that he’s able to do this and get away with it, but right now I don’t see that I have a choice. He has the upper hand while I remain as defenceless as a kitten lost in the wild.
One thing’s clear from this latest message: Stella was right – Ethan’s death wasn’t an accident. He died because of me. I should have told him everything that day he confronted me, but I was scared. Scared about it all coming out. Scared that Ethan wouldn’t understand why I did what I did.
I walk over to the far-right corner of the room, come to a standstill next to a large wooden chest containing various art implements, rolls of canvas and my paint-stained overalls. I open the lid and hover there a while. Looking down at its contents.
Knowing that buried at the bottom of the chest lies evidence that could put me behind bars for life.