I’m sitting in a courtroom in the Old Bailey, watching Dr Martin give evidence for the defence during Adriana’s trial for multiple murders. Her barrister is pleading not guilty by reason of insanity, on the basis that she wasn’t ‘Adriana’ when those murders occurred. But rather, someone entirely different: Xavier, her alter ego. A ruthless persona, who takes advantage of Adriana’s placid nature. Who revels in causing those who try to get close to her, or hurt her, even inadvertently, immeasurable pain. Charles being the prime, most shocking, example of this.
The police investigating Dr Adams’s death discovered hundreds of handwritten journals he kept locked away in the basement of his house. According to Dr Martin he was a traditional man, and always favoured writing things down on paper, and therefore Dr Martin wasn’t surprised he’d advised Adriana to do the same. In one of his last entries, he described his encounter with Xavier, one that frightened him, but which he’d also found surreal when Adriana reappeared and asked him what had happened, because the last thing she remembered was telling him how she had gaps in her memory and wondered if low blood sugar might be to blame. He said he hadn’t wanted to unsettle her further that day, so made no mention of Xavier’s emergence. But it was the reason he called her two days later, to arrange another meeting the following Monday. He planned on telling her then what occurred, when she was hopefully calmer. He feared she’d committed terrible crimes without realising, but felt he owed her this last meeting, to help her understand her condition, before voicing his suspicions to the police.
‘But Xavier is smart,’ Dr Martin says. ‘It is my belief that he regularly checks Adriana’s texts and emails, and that on reading Dr Adams’s somewhat anxious email to Adriana that Saturday, he realised what Dr Adams planned on doing, and knew that he had to be stopped.’
‘And how does the condition normally come about?’ the defence barrister asks.
‘From a previous trauma experienced by the sufferer,’ Dr Martin replies. Everyone is silent, the entire courtroom transfixed, as he explains. ‘In Adriana’s case, I believe it was triggered by the extreme and repeated emotional and physical abuse she endured from as young as two at the hands of her mother, Steph Monroe, and then later, her babysitter, Jason Stevens.’
I shudder at the mention of my dad’s name. I know most people here feel sympathy for me. But suddenly, I feel their eyes on me. The son of a vile abuser of women. Someone who tormented an innocent child – the woman now on trial for his murder.
‘Since her arrest, Adriana has told me intimate details about her childhood, including the terrible things that happened to her,’ Dr Martin continues, ‘the things she witnessed and which she feels ashamed of, despite it being no fault of her own. Traumatised beyond repair, I believe, and having now had the chance to read Dr Adams’s journals in detail, that she at first found solace in two imaginary friends – Eve Jacobs and Xavier Barton – before her mind shattered into fragments, forming two separate identities: her own, Scarlett, as she was then known, and Xavier, the stronger of her two friends. Xavier is fearless. He became her protector when things became intolerable at home. Dr Adams believed that he was the one who set Adriana’s parents’ house on fire, something Adriana has no recollection of. When she became him, she was untainted by her mother’s abuse. Only Adriana bore those scars, while Xavier remained undamaged. A far stronger alter ego but also fiercely protective of her and jealous of those who got close to her. It is my belief that when she went to live with her aunt and uncle in Guildford and started seeing Dr Adams, things took a turn for the better, and Adriana experienced years of stability. For the first time in her life, she felt happy and valued. Free of her past, it had been a rebirth of sorts. And, in turn, Xavier had disappeared. Pushed to the far recesses of her troubled mind. A phenomenon that can happen in cases such as Adriana’s because multiple-personality sufferers often hold down regular jobs and relationships, managing to live relatively normal lives and, in this way, unwittingly fool their friends, colleagues and family into believing they are just like everyone else.
‘But then, one day, something happened to upset that balance. Something that caused Adriana to become severely stressed and trigger Xavier’s return. Adriana told me she came face to face with Jason Stevens. Who days later turned up at her house and tried to molest her. I believe at this point Xavier emerged and killed Jason, and that he later went on to kill Charles Wentworth, Ethan Savage and Dr Adams, because he believed they were on to Adriana and her secret and would before long out her to the world and lead the police to the remains of Jason Stevens hidden in her art studio.’
Dr Martin briefly looks my way as he says this, and I feel the tears gather in my eyes. Not for Dad, but for Adriana, for Mum, for all the women my wretched dad hurt and abused.
‘Thank you, Dr Martin,’ the defence barrister says. ‘No further questions.’
At that moment, Adriana glances at me, and I see the apology in her eyes. Along with the fear. She doesn’t deserve to be locked up. She needs care, understanding. Treatment. I just hope the jury feels the same way.
‘Your witness,’ the judge says.
I watch the prosecution barrister stand up. Can tell by his confident strut, the eager anticipation in his eyes, that he’s about to tear Dr Martin to shreds.
‘Dr Martin, do you really expect us to believe Mrs Wentworth has no recollection of murdering four men in cold blood? It seems like a very tall story to blame it all on some “other personality” we have yet to see any evidence of, despite putting Mrs Wentworth on the stand twice. Have you yourself met this Xavier in your sessions with her?’
‘No, I have not.’
‘I see. Is it not the case that the defence of dissociative disorder is a highly controversial one and has been proven to have doubtful validity?’
‘I disagree,’ Dr Martin says. ‘There have been many proven cases, the most famous being Billy Milligan who was found not guilty of kidnapping, robbing and raping three women in 1977 owing to a diagnosis of dissociative disorder. Furthermore, Dr Adams’s final entries prove that Mrs Wentworth is a sufferer. He had not witnessed such behaviour before, but having pushed her – to the point she became extremely agitated – Xavier emerged. I believe Mrs Wentworth’s shift at that moment was a genuine one.’
‘And yet, as you say, in eighteen years of treating her Dr Adams had not observed this “switch”. Despite being a highly regarded psychiatrist and someone who knew Mrs Wentworth perhaps better than her own husband.’
‘As I said, sufferers can go for years undiagnosed living normal lives.’
I look up at Adriana. Notice that she’s started fidgeting in her seat. She looks uncomfortable. Really uncomfortable.
‘I put it to you that Mrs Wentworth is faking. The fact is, she lured Jason Stevens to her house when her husband was away with the intention of murdering him to avenge years of abuse she suffered at his hands as a child. She hid his remains and then when her husband started asking questions, perhaps grew suspicious, she killed him too. Seven years later, she killed her lodger and Dr Adams for the same reason. Mrs Wentworth is nothing but a cold-blooded killer.’
‘But how do we explain the laptops, the unregistered mobile phones and vials of morphine found in Mrs Wentworth’s spare room? The threatening messages sent to Ethan Savage and Sebastian Walker? Messages sent to her own email account, including one from Dr Adams professing to cancel their meeting, but which we now know her alter ego sent having hacked into Dr Adams’s email? Why would Mrs Wentworth have needed to go to such lengths? I believe she had, and continues to have, no recollection of doing any of these things because it was Xavier who did them. Mrs Wentworth lacked intent to murder, but she needs help. She needs psychiatric care, not punishment.’
The prosecution barrister shakes his head. ‘There is no Xavier. And as sorry as I am for her traumatic childhood, Mrs Wentworth cannot be allowed to get away with her crimes. She knew exactly what she was doing. Xavier is but a convenient scapegoat for her own ruthless intent.’
‘You men need to shut the fuck up!’
The entire courtroom looks up to where Adriana is sitting. Her eyes have that same look I saw the night she blacked out.
‘It’s so typical of your kind to think you know what’s best, to label a woman as sick in the mind, in need of care or punishment.’
‘Mrs Wentworth!’ The judge bangs his gavel. ‘You will be quiet or I will have you restrained.’
Adriana glares at him. ‘And you can shut the fuck up too, sitting there in your poncy chair.’
I watch the stunned look on the judge’s face. Everyone in the room, including him and both barristers, is speechless.
‘She’s been willing me to appear this whole time, begging me to come to her rescue, tell the truth, and finally you bastards have pushed things too far. So here I am, the person who did all those things you just described.’ She glares at Dr Martin. ‘But you and Dr Adams were wrong about it being Xavier. Again, it’s so clichéd of your kind to believe that only a man could come to her rescue, be the stronger one.’
I watch Dr Martin’s expression switch from one of puzzlement to a slow realisation. And then he says, almost inaudibly: ‘Eve.’
Adriana smiles. ‘Yes, that’s right, Eve. You know it means “life”. Well, that’s what I am to Adriana. Her means to breathe. Her source of life.’