Nervous

Are you nervous? I say.

Malia scratches her arms through her shirt,

opens a cough drop.

Yes! Duh!

Do you want to practice?

Yes! But we need to take the long way

down to our place

so Lola doesn’t see us

going through the yard.

 

 

We get our bikes,

walk the long way

through paths I haven’t seen before.

The October forest is warmer than I’ve ever felt,

like the smell of my grandfather’s shop

in the morning before the air comes in.

 

 

Malia stops.

I can’t hear the trees, Etan.

Something is happening.

 

 

I stop,       look around,

Try to listen, too.

 

 

The stones wait for us

near the pool,

where the water

is a sheet of glass,

a mirror, perfectly flat.

 

 

We sit on the stones,

face each other,

staring quietly

in a long and nervous silence.

I think of my grandfather.

What would he say?

Okay, Malia, are you ready?

Show me what you’re made of.

Slowly she takes off her sunglasses,

her eyes wrinkle together.

What? Wait, what are you talking about? She looks confused.

I look down,

my legs nervously shaking.

Never mind, I say. So are you ready?

No! she shouts. How could I ever be?

We try to stop shaking,

and eventually

she breathes,

listens,

her body shifts,

and in the stillness

of the strange afternoon air

her voice fills the forest.

 

 

Maybe, I think,

the trees are quiet

because today

they are listening

to her.