TE-4

Air: A Reading to
Help You Breathe

When you breathe in, you pull into yourself the energy around you. When you breathe out, that sense of release and relief fills you. When you do this mindfully, you can pull yourself into a meditative state. We breathe in and out about 23,000 times a day (hopefully). How often do you think about it? How often do you consider what a gift it is to have access to an unlabored breath? How often do you consider what you’re pulling into you and what you’re pushing out?

Air

Mind

Probably not often, unless the air around you is foul in some manner. A bad smell hitting your nose causes everything else to stop until you can find the source. I remember pulling my apartment to pieces looking for That Smell, until I found a small potato that had rolled to the back of the pantry and had become its own ecosystem. I stopped everything because the smell hitting my face shouted, “Wrong, something’s wrong! Fix it!”

I think of the kinds of breaths we take. I have a certain sigh that my partner is most attuned to. I’ll breathe out in a certain way, and he’ll immediately say, “Honey, what’s wrong?” My kids will puff their cheeks out and blow their breath out, and I’ll know that they’re frustrated. We light incense and candles so the smells around us are soothing or stimulating. We breathe out to make wishes on birthday candles, to calm ourselves, to flirt, to express anger or disappointment. We hold our breath when we’re scared and release it in one huge exhalation when the fear passes. Breath is life. Cliché? Cliché. But it can be so much more than that.

Your breath can clear your mind and help you focus. Manipulating your breath can help you get rid of a headache, calm your aching heart, and prepare for a difficult experience. In this chapter, we’re going to talk about air and its connection to your mind. How you think. How you process life and ideas. How you rise up to challenges. Your breath will carry you there.

Most of the readings that I do regarding air/mind land in four distinct areas:

I am bored.
I hate my job
I love my job, but I hate the energy in my workplace.
I have a passion, but I can’t leave my job to pursue it.

Whether we’re talking about your job or about your intellectual pursuits outside of work, the same can be said for both: you have to feel alive. You have to feel as if you matter and that your work is valued. This is nonnegotiable, and yet …

I have found that being bored is one of the most catastrophic forces in people’s lives. It causes self-destructive behavior, limits prospective growth, and disallows personal growth. We are challenged all through school. We are given goals and tests and we achieve great things. Even if it’s outside the school curriculum, we learn how to fail, how to interact with people, how to create our life. After graduation, when we leave that hothouse of growth and encouragement, usually the only person who cares about our growth is us, and we become too busy to tend to it. It becomes so easy to hit the couch after work and let the screen in front of us dictate how we stimulate our mind.

In regard to non-employment-related stimulation, unless you deliberately choose an activity that interests you—knitting, chess, reading, mediation, whatever—you get caught in this lockstep routine that makes your whole life become like furniture. The question “What are you excited about?” should only take a few seconds to answer. I’m excited about tarot cards. I’m also excited about books and writing and the tarot meet-ups that we do and playing board games with my family. I am excited about decorating my house and playing with my pets and coloring. These are things that I have to make time for, because if I don’t, they go away. If I don’t make time to read, I become unhappy and stale. I don’t think I would be a good writer if my brain weren’t constantly stirred up by others’ words. Terry Pratchett, Patrick Rothfuss, Margaret Atwood, Sara Benincasa, Neil Gaiman, J. G. Ballard, Liz Gilbert—these authors make me think differently. Their work influences my work and makes my brain light up. If I don’t do things outside of work that make me happy, my life will become beige, and I can’t have that.

The reason I can rattle off all of the things that I’m excited about is because I consciously make space in my life to pursue things that make me light up. I could have a life in which I only work, only spend time with my family, occasionally see friends, and spend a lot of time on the couch. I could. But that’s not all that I am. It’s a limited, less colorful self, and I just can’t handle that idea.

Regarding your nine-to-five, this has to be a place that enhances your life instead of diminishing the quality of it. You spend more time at your workplace than you do with your family. That time should matter. It should challenge you, and you should be able to walk out of the office with your head up and your heart lighter. I’ve had lots of jobs in my life. Some jobs suited me and some did not.

Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, I had this one job …

Okay, let’s face it—I’ve had lots of jobs. Some were good and some were bad and some were so bad they caused stress-related alopecia (my hair was falling out in clumps). It’s advisable to never burn a bridge, every step is an opportunity, and so on. For the purposes of this chapter, I’m creating an amalgam of jobs, pulling out the worst parts of them to emphasize my point and taking creative license as author.

Before we go any further, I want to emphasize that there is a difference between a job and a career. I never thought I was one of those people who were born with Purpose. My father is. My dad wanted to be a police officer since he was four years old. He was a junior police officer, then a police officer, and then a police sergeant, lieutenant, and captain. Then he retired and became a bailiff, because of course he did. He’s my dad. He is a cop. He is one of the good ones. He told me once that there are two kinds of police officers: those who protected the little ones on the bus and those who picked on the little ones. He’s one of the protectors. It’s part of who he is in life and in his work, and you can’t really separate them. Also, he’s never questioned in his life what he was supposed to do.

Me? I questioned everything. I wanted to be Indiana Jones. I wanted to be an author. I wanted to work in museums. I wanted to be a docent. I didn’t know exactly what that was, because I was eight, but I read about it in a book and it sounded cool. I wanted to help people, and I wanted to be a hermit. I got a psychology degree and became a social worker. After twenty or so years of that, I became an HR person. It’s like social services with fewer heart-stopping moments of human tragedy. Anyway, I took jobs because they were open. I took jobs because they paid well. I took jobs because I was moving to a new city and it was the first job I found. I never had a job that I trusted would be my forever job. I’ve never—before I decided that writing and tarot reading were things I wanted to do really, really badly—had a career, in the huge sense. I was a social worker for a really long time, at a series of jobs that I enjoyed but never defined myself by. If one job ended, I would find another job that was similar but never the same. I went from social service worker to office manager of a social service agency to operations manager of a laboratory. Easy transitions to jobs that I liked but that didn’t define me. I went from investing my entire self into my social work jobs to clocking out at 5 p.m. and meaning it.

Back to the fairytale-esque narrative.

Once upon a time, I had this job …

I found this amazing job, and I started work ready to change the world and kick some tail. I was full, my friends, of piss and vinegar. I was earnest and made notes and had ideas. A few weeks in, I realized that my boss didn’t like me. It was kind of jarring, finding out that the person who signs your checks doesn’t like you as a person. It happened in a meeting. We were brainstorming, and I brought up an idea. “That’s stupid,” she said, in front of two other people, and my jaw dropped. I let it go, but it really hurt my feelings. I remember walking out of the meeting feeling stupid and devalued and pissed off. Things like this kept happening. Not making eye contact with me during meetings. Never asking me my opinion. Acting like I was wasting her time every time I was in the room. It started to undermine my self-
esteem, and I started to make mistakes.

You know, most people don’t start a job intending to do a bad job. If you treat people like they’re stupid, though, you’re going to cause them to make mistakes. The pressure of that failure will compound the anxiety, which will lead to more mistakes, and so on. Pretty soon, you have someone crying in the parking lot and hoping to get into a fender bender on the way to the office because they just can’t face it today.

It wasn’t long before I hated my job. The thing was, it wasn’t the work. I liked the work. I was good at the work—usually. It was the environment in which I worked. People were treated like things there. I was treated like a thing. It was important that the trains arrived on time, but no one cared that the people driving the trains were broken. I started looking for a new job and felt like a failure. Even though there were people who had been there much longer than I had with the same problems. They were afraid to leave and heartbroken about staying. They judged themselves based on the behavior of a few bullies who’d cowed most people into submission. Why do we do this to ourselves? Objectively and with hindsight, I was a very bad fit for this company, which had serious morale and staffing issues. I didn’t cause the issues, and I was blaming myself for not fitting into a place that made me miserable. Good lord, what a mind game.

I should have left right after my idea was called stupid. I should have left after I realized that most of my coworkers were miserable, too. I should have left after I noticed that people crying in the office was not noteworthy anymore. I can remember people talking on their office phones in a really low voice, urgently cheering each other on so they could get through the day. Instant messenger was used as a vehicle for encouragement.

Guys. You shouldn’t have to be coached to finish your work day. That’s not okay.

People would come to work sick because they felt guilty using their benefit days. They would shorten vacations, work through lunches, come in early and leave late. Yet they were only as valuable as their last mistake. One friend, upon asking to leave early due to a funeral was told, “Listen, people die (eyeroll and gigantic sigh). I get it, but you’re needed here.” Are you fucking kidding me? She was then given the silent treatment by this boss for about a week. Because of a funeral. Because someone she loved died.

In my life and in readings for clients, I see that people stay in jobs that don’t serve them because they are afraid. Fear is really strong, and it’s difficult to pinpoint it at times. Fear can feel like so many other emotions. Insecurity—maybe I am stupid and incompetent. Exhaustion—I’m too tired to do a good job. Anxiety—what if I’m really screwing things up? There goes my job, then my house, probably my relationship. I’m totally screwing up my entire life.

We look inside before we look outside. We blame ourselves instead of our work culture or coworkers. I worked one time doing data entry for an insurance company. I did. Me. Little Miss Explosive Vocabulary Who Bounces in Her Seat. Me. It was terrible. No one told twenty-year-old me that there were going to be places that I just didn’t belong. No disrespect to data entry or to insurance (well, some disrespect to those guys), but I wasted so much time in a place that just didn’t fit me. I am meant to write and to be around people who like to laugh and work as hard as they play. I am not shushable. I spent so many years in places that didn’t feed me because I didn’t know that there was an option.

We are not taught to leave if it’s not working out. Why is that? Why did I have to learn to take care of myself in the workplace, and, further, why did it take me so long to figure it out?

I’m going to tell you this. There is an option. You are not like everyone else. You do not have to work in a place that doesn’t feel like home. Even if it is just a job, you deserve basic human respect. You deserve support and encouragement and high fives. “Just a job” is something that can pay for your dreams, and money is important, but you don’t have to feel like garbage just to earn a paycheck. There is no honor in taking verbal and emotional abuse from someone whose only accomplishment is keeping his head down long enough to earn his pension. I have a lovely friend who was working for about $9 an hour at a job for three years. She put in extra time, had only one day off, no benefits, and was treated like garbage. She found another job, doing something totally different for $12 an hour plus commission and bonuses. This new place invested in her well-being. The company took time to make sure she was okay, provided lunch and breakfast on busy days, and gave her insurance and a benefits package. All I can think is that for three years, which I’m sure were important in other ways, her employer got to have their way with her self-esteem and ability to care for herself. It makes me angry that her bosses were allowed to treat her like garbage and will continue to treat her replacement like garbage. Until all the workers rise up and leave, however, it will not change. It changed for her, though. She decided it was time.

air Reading

Card 1: What can you hold on to?

Cards 2, 3, and 4: What gets in your way?

Cards 5, 6, and 7: What pulls you forward?

Air Reading Example #1: Ellen

Ellen has worked for some real jerks. Recently, however, she has finally found a job that not only treats her well but also gives her time to pursue other interests. Whaaat! She’s anxious, though, that the other shoe is going to drop, and she’ll get hit by a surprise that takes the wind out of her sails.

Card 1: Ace of Swords

What can you hold on to?

Follow your great idea. You’re being given inspiration. The aces are the heart of their suit. The Ace of Swords is the brain of the tarot. Allow yourself to be inspired and enlightened. Be open to influences and your muse and be sure to follow this fantastic head start to its (already lucky) conclusion.

Is she pointed in the right direction? Astoundingly, yes! She is. She is working at a job that she really enjoys with a company that values her. She is expected to only work during her allotted hours and spends the rest of the time working and playing with her friends on hobbies that she adores. She’s found a weird kind of balance, intellectually at least, that allows her to work two jobs that she loves at the same time. This has never happened for her before.

Card 2: Queen of Swords

What gets in your way?

Be as direct as possible. No emotions come into this decision, just a sense of fairness and of what is the right thing to do. To quote my friend Sara Benincasa, “I gave up nice a long time ago. Nice did me no good as a woman. Niceness is a lie they teach you to keep you sweet and compliant while you’re screaming inside. You know what I picked instead? Kindness. I chose to be kind. Kind means I respect your boundaries and you respect mine.”

This represents making sure that she has time to do what’s important and keeping her focus. She’s so easily distracted that things that don’t matter bulldoze the things that do. She doesn’t need to be on Facebook. She doesn’t need to get involved with her friends’ family drama. She doesn’t need to do these things, but they’re easier than sitting down to work, honestly. They’re handy distractions that get in the way. Since she got the Queen of Swords, this tells her that for now she is in charge, but she needs to remain aware of her distractions.

Card 3: Four of Pentacles

What gets in your way?

Hold on to those things that belong to you and be generous when you can. Be sure that you have everything you need before you share. Be sure that you come first. This card also indicates that you should keep an eye on the things that belong to you. Watch your money. Watch your possessions. Be safe.

Ellen is afraid of being poor. She has been very, very poor before, and the possibility of it happening again keeps her up at night. So she has to remember that she has a plan. She has a savings account that she protects fiercely. She is not wealthy, but she is secure, and she needs to remind herself of this on the daily so that the money anxiety doesn’t eat her. When I have clients who call about money, I tell them to read The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. Follow his advice. Find a number in your mind to have in the bank that will help you sleep at night and then make that goal happen. Stop letting money drive you. Start driving your finances. It’s only scary at first, and then you get to be in charge.

Card 4: Ace of Cups

What gets in your way?

Your cup runneth over with blessings. Be sure to be grateful. Happiness is afoot. Blessings abound. Accept them, acknowledge them, and say thank you. The universe conspires to shower you with blessings. Let it. If you’re not in a place to say thank you, start with “at least.” At least you have power. At least you woke up today. If things are solid, kick into the thank yous. Thank you for the little things and the big things, too.

Ellen is way, way too nice. She wants to please even those people who treat her like a thing. In Terry Pratchett’s Carpe Jugulum, Granny Weatherwax says, “There’s no grays, only white that’s got grubby. I’m surprised you don’t know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That’s what sin is.” By allowing folks to treat her poorly, Ellen is harming herself. Remember, be kind, not nice.

Card 5: Six of Swords

What can pull you forward?

Focus on where you’re going and get out of where you are now. Don’t look back. You don’t live there anymore. Part of going from rough waters into smooth is that you don’t always trust that transition. You wait for the other shoe to drop, and in doing so, sometimes you manifest that shoe right on your head. Trust that you’re going to be okay. Trust that when okay comes, you might not know what it looks like right away. Trust that if you feel threatened, you can grab one of those swords to protect yourself. We never go backward. I know it’s hard, and I know you’re tired. Just keep going.

Ellen needs to remember to never move backward. If this day job goes sour, she will find another one. She will not stay in a place that is unhealthy for her. She will never, ever move backward in respect to how she is treated by coworkers. She spends forty hours a week in that place, and it has a profound effect on her well-being and on her family. The most important thing to her should be her, and she will remember that and never again trade financial security for dignity. Ever.

Card 6: The Emperor

What can pull you forward?

Time to dot your i’s and cross your t’s. Be precise. Consider briefly the emotional impact of the decision, and then decide what is practical and smart. Sometimes you have to do the right and difficult thing. Even though it might break you a little bit. The Emperor wants you to be okay but realizes that sometimes the path to okay is painful (but necessary). He is willing to go through the pain to make things happen for the greater good.

Ellen must remember that she is in charge of herself. She can’t blame unhappiness on anyone except for her. This is in regard to things she can control, mind you. Part of achieving the focus she needs intellectually is to pare away those things that are outside her control. She has a lot of privilege in her life. She is white. She is middle class. She has a house and food on the table and a car. She has a supportive, loving partner and enough money to get sushi pretty much whenever she wants. Part of being a privileged person is understanding that her voice is strong, that her influence is felt, and that if she doesn’t like something, she has it within her to change it. I reminded her of the advice I got from my friend, Andrew McGregor, who said, “Don’t ask questions if you already know the answer.” Ellen spends too much time flailing about, looking for help when, honestly, if she were to take the time to be still and quiet, she would already know exactly what to do. She needs to trust herself and her abilities and just do the thing. The most important part of being a privileged person is using that privilege to do whatever she can to help others. She can be a strong voice for our brothers and sisters in the margins. She can look for opportunities to help her friends and family and those in her community rise up. We all do better when we all do better. Ellen has a part to play in that.

Card 7: The Fool Reversed

What can pull you forward?

Just because you can just doesn’t mean you should. Just because the ledge is there doesn’t mean you shouldn’t look over the edge and double check your parachute. The Fool reversed throws caution to the wind. And common sense, a sense of pride, decency, and intellect. Just blundering stupidly into the next mistake.

The Fool is telling her, very clearly, “Stop jumping, dummy. Do the work that’s in front of you. Do the work and then move forward. If you keep bouncing around, you’re going to knock over things and create more obstacles. Sit down. Breathe. Do your work with a clear mind and an open heart.”

Summary

Ellen needs to stop “stopping” just when things go well. She works her butt off, and just when she’s about to crest into happiness, she loses her momentum and eases back into “okay.” I feel it’s important to share with you that when your tarot cards talk smack to you, like they did with Ellen, it’s absolutely permissible to tell them to shut up. (You should still listen, but you’ll feel better.)

Air Reading Example #2: Pixie

Thank you to my friend Pixie for allowing me to read for her! That’s not her name; I’m just fairly certain that she’s part pixie. Pixie is working at a job that’s just a job and has her eyes focused on a career that is beyond her reach for now.

Card 1: Six of Pentacles

What can you hold on to?

There is an exchange here. Giving and receiving. Be sure that the balance remains. Can you give gracefully? Can you receive with equal grace? Can you allow balance and generosity into your life? Give a damn. We all do better when we all do better. You have to invest in yourself first, then your family, and then your community. It has to flow outward. If it sticks with just you, your riches spoil and stagnate. If they flow out to only your family, they puddle and pool. If they reach your community, however, they flow and flow and flow. A rising tide raises all boats.

Pixie just got a new job, and although it’s adjacent to her dream job, it’s not her dream job. What it does, though, is pay the bills. She needs to focus on the practical aspects of the job—learning a different part of her field, making connections, and so on—and stop worrying about taking time away from her dream. This is a part of her dream, albeit a more boring part. Also, this part helps her keep the lights on, which ain’t nothing.

Card 2: The Tower Reversed

What gets in your way?

This can be a very tense situation that feels like it’s going to explode at any second. It can sustain itself for years, though. I once gave a reading to a wealthy, beautiful couple with a beautiful house and beautiful children. They were also both addicts, both cheating, and both ignoring their children (and in debt up to their eyeballs). That level of delusion can only last so long. Holding your hands against the tower to keep it from falling will only leave you with bruised and bloodied hands.

Feeling stuck makes Pixie pout, and Pixie pouting makes for poor performance. She has a job. This is a good thing. If she doesn’t embrace the gratitude necessary to keep herself afloat in a job, she’s gonna not have a job anymore. It’s okay to be disappointed that you’re still in a job and not a career. However, your job is paying your bills. Someone is giving you money to do something. This is a blessing. Find a reason to be happy to be there, even if that reason is labeling every hour of work. “This hour pays for my Netflix. This hour pays for my gym membership.” Keep it real.

Card 3: Page of Pentacles Reversed

What gets in your way?

You not only dropped the ball, but you dropped it, kicked it, and then looked away before you saw where it landed. No good, man. You’ve got to get back on track. If you’re disillusioned or disheartened, it is absolutely okay to take a small break, but then you need to realign yourself with your goals and try again. No one is going to chase your dreams for you. Move it.

Pixie was unemployed for a few months, and it scared the bejeezus out of her. She needs to know that this is the lowest amount of money that she’s ever going to make. It’s all uphill from here. No more unemployment, no more deciding which bill to pay. Things might be tight for a while, but she’s on her way up. Anxiety about money is distracting her from the here and now.

Card 4: The Moon

What gets in your way?

Sometimes you should be afraid. Be sure to get a mental health check and make sure your depression/anxiety isn’t lying to you. Walk your path carefully because you are not in charge right now. Listen to your intuition. You can be a warrior when you’re strong again. I promise.

Pixie tends to freeze when she’s afraid. This piggybacks on some of the other cards—being stuck, being anxious, and so on. The most important part of this is to know that this is what happens. If she can see this reaction coming, she’ll be better able to identify the behavior and work around it.

Card 5: Queen of Cups

What pulls you forward?

The queen of emotion. She’s in control of her feelings and surrounded by love. You can love someone but not so much that you lose your mind about it. Can you be near drama without being in drama? Can you shed those emotions that no longer serve you? She loves everyone, but I’m 100 percent sure that she loves herself first. She holds sacred space for herself and takes care of herself without apologies.

Pixie works in the entertainment industry, and it’s notoriously difficult to get a solid career path in that industry. You have to start very early and work your way up, or know someone, or chance into a spot that opened that didn’t have someone groomed for it. She needs a mentor who has the career that she wants so she can grill them. Does she need classes? Contacts? More experience in X, Y, or Z? She needs to have lunch with someone and pick their brain to see how to get on that track.

Card 6: Six of Swords

What pulls you forward?

Pixie is feeling that going to a different part of her field is holding her back from her passion. What it is doing instead is teaching her more practical information about the thing she loves. She’s looking at the industry from an entirely different perspective, which can only help her. She’s paving the way to becoming more informed and a better asset to any future employers. Go, Pixie!

Card 7: The Sun

What pulls you forward?

It’s all okay. The sun has a way of shining light into all the dark corners of our lives. All the shadows and mistakes and flaws are illuminated. Those broken bits of you catch the light and make you shine. Be confident that the world is waiting to shower you with blessings. Know that things will be okay even if the situation is ambiguous. Feel the support of your people and of spirit, and share this light with everyone who comes into its warmth. Remember that fire burns away the darkness and that you are a strong and gifted fire dancer.

This woman is solid sunshine. In the time I’ve known her, she’s had her heart broken, lost a job, and had family issues. Through it all, she’s still dancing. She is tough and resilient and a true optimist. The best thing that Pixie has in her corner is Pixie.

Summary

Basically, Pixie needs to suck it up and work at this bill-paying job until her career can start. She has time, and she would be much happier if she were to focus on the present instead of being so anxious about the future. (Also, she totally got her dream job three months after this reading. Way to go, Pixie! She stuck it out with the Muggle job and worked hard and was able to professionally transition to her new gig.)

Exercise

For the exercise, we want to calm your breathing and your brain so that you can rationally think through your problem. You’re going to meditate in whichever way is most comfortable to you, traditional or active meditation. I personally suck at traditional meditation, and I choose active meditation. I deliberately think about problems while cleaning my house or working in my yard. I put myself wholly into a mindless task so that I can be busy while concentrating on big issues. Whether sitting in traditional meditation or working in active, light some incense or a candle and find your quiet center. The purpose of this exercise is to figure out what you should be shifting in your life. Do you need a new job? Do you need to go back to school to pursue something that lights you up? Or to increase your salary? Do you need more hobbies so that your life isn’t just work, home, work, home? Do you need to retire? (Like, really retire—not like my dad, who will never retire ever.)

Think about those areas of discontent in your life. Picture all those problems dissolving and blowing away in the wind. All that’s left is you and your big sassy brain. I want you to imagine your brain—the wrinkles, the curves, the sparks of electricity. Picture your brain connecting to your spine and every part of your body. Understand that you have unlimited potential, and that you can overcome any obstacle that might be in your way. Understand that this exercise will help you push away all those distractions so that you can see the clearest way to move forward successfully.

Let your mind drift to those things that light you up. What have you always wanted to be when you grow up? Do you want a job or a career? Do you want to change fields or just positions? Think about all the possibilities that are out there for you.

After spending time with only these thoughts, I want you to sit down to do your homework.

Homework

First, write down every thought or idea or even a sliver of an idea that came to you during your mediation. Did you think “I want to pursue an MFA in poetry” out of the blue? Write it down. Did you fixate on current work stressors? Make a list of them. Did you think about your day job and how you really don’t mind Monday mornings? That’s important, too.

Answer these questions:

Is your job truly supporting you?
If no, what are two action steps that you can take right now to be sure that your job is working for you, not against you?
How are you stimulating yourself outside of work?
Do you feel challenged and fulfilled?
If no, how can you fix this?

The next step involves other people. Grab a friend, a colleague, a mentor, or even an adviser from a local college. Ask them for advice. Ask them about their observations of you and your life. Have dinner with them, just talk about where you are in your career and intellectual life, and ask for their experiences and thoughts. I think that most of us forget that we don’t live in a vacuum and that other people can tell if we’re happy or challenged.

Everyone’s “doing” homework is going to be different here. Some examples that I’ve come across in readings include the advice to begin looking for a new job that day. Get another opinion on your résumé and send it out immediately. Some folks need to finish or pursue degrees that fell to the wayside. Some people realized that their jobs are actually great fits but that they needed to join a meet-up or a book club to stimulate them outside of work. Just do the work. Please don’t spend emotional and physical energy on trying to fix this problem and then say, “Yeah, that would be great.” It’s your time. This is your life. Don’t waste it.

Resources

Meditation

Choose which form of meditation works best for you. You don’t have to trance out immediately—this is a skill that takes time to learn, just like everything else. Start with ten minutes in the morning and ten at night. Find an app to help you out if you need to. If it’s active meditation, save the dishes for when you’re alone and can focus on one mindless task. Schedule this time into your life so you can help yourself stick to the program.

Journaling

Keep track of your moods and your happiness with work and your level of boredom outside of work. The best person to compare yourself against is yourself, and if you can look back at your engagement in your job over the last year, it will help to have an objective measurement of your happiness. I have one client who gives themselves engagement points every day. Did they start a new project? Did they empty their inbox? Did they surf the internet most of the day after they finished their work in two hours? These types of things are indicative of engagement.

Incense

Find a scent that clears your mind. One of my favorites is Amethyst by Shoyeido. When I’m writing or doing readings, the first thing that I do is light incense. It makes me happy, calms me down, and sets the mood for my work. I work from home at my Muggle job and have taken to lighting incense at 8 a.m. every morning, too. It gives me a mental cue that I’m supposed to be focused. Plus, it smells pretty.

The readings I give to people who are bored are some of the most heartbreaking. The bored tend to cheat on their partners, slack off at their job, take desperate risks. The bored will poke at a glass until it falls off the table and shatters, just so they have something to do. When they do this with people instead of things, their lives can spin out of control. I encourage you to do an honest assessment of your life. If you are bored, are you taking it out on someone else? Are you treating people like things? Are you being a jerk at work because you can’t stand what you do? If so, thank you for your honesty. Now it’s time to fix it.

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