Spirit: A Reading to Bring You Connection
When I was writing this book, I put off writing about spirit until the end. We are all so diverse, and we all seek spiritual enlightenment in different ways. I didn’t want to presume that all readers have a spiritual path, and if you did, I didn’t want to presume to guess at what that was. I’m not trying to tell someone how to believe or if they should seek anything in their spiritual life, so why did this feel so big and important? I think that I’ve figured it out: regardless of the path you’re on, everyone is seeking to feel connected. To our communities, to our earth, to each other. That sense of connection is what makes us the social beings that we are. It is why we have compassion and empathy and sympathy. The connection that we feel in this world is what makes us part of something greater than ourselves. It forces us to look outward instead of inward and focus on how we can make the world better. How can we help? How do we align ourselves in right relations with our people?
Spirit
Soul
You can use this spirit reading to look for direction in a religious or spiritual sense as well as for which direction you can go with your spiritual gifts.
I find that the spirit element relates directly to Spidey-sense. Whatever you’d like to call it—intuition, psychic energy—it is a connection to something outside of us. This kind of spirit connection can be baffling if you’re not sure what’s going on. I remember seeing spirits when I was a kid and singing this children’s hymn called “Be Not Afraid” under my breath until they went away. I would get flashes of intuition about grown-up problems and concerns that would scare the hell out of me. I would dream and the dreams would become reality. In college, I tried to drink it away—didn’t work for long. What I needed was someone to tell me that I could ask it to stop until I was ready. I needed someone to tell me that it was okay, that I wasn’t crazy, and that I could make this make sense with some time. You can use this reading to find your path regarding your psychic gifts. Are you heading in the right direction? What can you bring into your daily practice to sharpen these gifts? What can you leave behind?
In the traditional spirit reading, you can look into your faith. Where you’ve been and where you are now. Where you’re going and what needs to stay behind. In a nontraditional reading, you can figure out where to find resources to help you strengthen your intuition.
I was raised Catholic. It didn’t take, but I did take some of it with me. I love ritual and incense and the kindness that Jesus taught. I found, however, that I had serious misalignment with the Catholic Church as I grew up. Not just in adulthood, but I was the kid asking why people who haven’t heard of Jesus were going to go to hell. That seems like a dick move. Why do we have to ask the priest for forgiveness if God forgives us as soon as we sin? Why bother hating the sin if the sinner is in front of us and the sin didn’t hurt me?
As I grew older, my problems got bigger. Why should I hate gay people? Why should I pray to take away a woman’s right to choose what to do with her own body? Why can’t women have a role in the church? Why do I just need to accept this information from the Bible when the Bible contradicts itself? Why should I stop asking so many questions, Sister Rita Mary? I thought this was a school. That one earned me a smack with a textbook. Clearly, I should stop asking questions so I wouldn’t get hit anymore. Jesus, indeed.
Now, before the emails start flying, my family has been Catholic for as long as I know. Some of my best friends are Catholic! I have respect for the help that the church has given communities in its time. But it’s not for me. It doesn’t and hasn’t suited me, so I left it.
I did the requisite wandering around and talking smack about the faith that I left, without putting any thought into why I left it and what I would do with this spirit-shaped space left in me. I liked praying. I liked feeling connected to God and feeling like part of a community. Just not like that. I went to a Unitarian Universalist meet-up in college and felt the stirrings of God there, but I was in college and drunk a lot, so I didn’t pursue it.
When I was in my late twenties, a very good friend took me on a Pagan retreat in the woods. I didn’t understand a lot of what was going on, but I knew that I felt God there. Off to the bookstore with me—you wouldn’t believe the stack of Paganism books that I came home with. I did research, tried little spells, and tried on being a witch. Turns out, it fit. I connect to spirit through candle magic, having an altar, following the cycles of the moon and the seasons. I did not connect with those books, though. I don’t do Ritual. I do lowercase r ritual. If I’m “cleaning” my house energetically, I’m basically stomping around in my jammie pants, tossing salt in windows and telling negative energy to get the hell out of my house.
My ex-husband is Jewish, so when the kids came along, I wanted to find a place for them to worship. I was puzzled, though, as to how to find a place of worship for the children of a Jewish fella and an ex-Catholic witch. I went to this website called Beliefnet.com, and took the amazingly named “Belief-O-Matic” quiz. Essentially, I answered a bunch of questions about my moral values, spiritual beliefs, and personal feelings, and the Belief-O-Matic spit out the top five organized religions that I aligned with:
- Liberal Quakerism
- Pagan
- Reform Judaism
- Unitarian Universalism
- Neopagan
I went to a Quaker Friends meeting and nearly fell asleep. No disrespect meant; I’m just not meant to hold still and be quiet. I already knew the Pagan thing, but I was looking for more structure. I attended a Reform Jewish service and it was beautiful and aligned with me, but I felt like the language (don’t speak Hebrew) divide was too wide. I visited a Unitarian Universalist chapel and found my home. Their book had readings from the Koran, the Talmud, the Bible, the Upanishads, Native American elders, and Martin Luther King Jr. They also pray with their feet. My church has a bowl of Black Lives Matter buttons in the entrance of the church. I’m down with this.
I have friends from all walks of faith, and they tell me that they have a consistent worship practice because of connection and community. One of my friends goes hiking every week. Every week. She finds God in solitude. One of my friends volunteers with an animal rescue organization. She sees God in the faces of abused animals and does all she can to help them. Another friend is a devout Christian but is gay and had problems aligning themselves with the church they grew up in. They found the United Church of Christ, who welcome all regardless of who they love.
If you have found yourself looking for a better fit for your spiritual life, even within your current place of worship or faith, recognize that some form of growth and transition is normal. You are not the six-year-old who took Holy Communion or the thirteen-year-old who completed their Bar Mitzvah. You are older and have more layers to you. Revisiting your spiritual connection at several points in your life should be embraced and explored.
spirit reading
You might have noticed that this one is a bit bigger, and therefore a bit different from the patterns drawn by the other readings. This is because while I tried to simplify the others, doing the same to spirit just doesn’t work. It’s a complicated thing and has a more complicated spread. The mechanics are the same, though. You got this.
|
|
Card 1: What can you hold on to? Cards 2 and 3: What gets in your way? Cards 4 and 5: What pulls you forward? Cards 6 and 7: Who or what in your life can assist you with this journey? Card 8: What choice can you make right now to get closer to your path? |
Spirit Reading Example #1: Shavonne
Shavonne is a single mom and an artist who went through a very difficult time a few years ago and is just getting back on her feet. She is confident but sometimes worries that things are going to go backward. She’s anxious but doesn’t really have anything to pin that on except for fretting over “what if?” It might not sound like a big deal, but it keeps her up at night.
Card 1: Six of Pentacles
What can you hold on to?
There is an exchange here. Giving and receiving. Be sure that the balance remains. Can you give gracefully? Can you receive with equal grace? Can you allow balance and generosity into your life? Care. We all do better when we all do better. You have to invest in yourself first, then your family, and then your community. It has to flow outward. If it sticks with just you, your riches spoil and stagnate. If they flow out to only your family, they puddle and pool. If they reach your community, however, they flow and flow and flow. A rising tide raises all boats.
Shavonne is now in a place where she can give back and make a difference. She was in a place a few years ago where she had to receive from her church. She was unemployed and had two kids and no money. She struggled for several months until she was able to get back on her feet again. Her church sent grocery money to her every month, and her minister checked in to make sure she was okay. At one service, someone who’d heard she was struggling slipped twenty dollars into her purse. She doesn’t know who did it, but they should know that she used that money to put gas in her car for a job interview. Now that she’s doing okay, it’s her turn to reach out.
Card 2: The Chariot Reversed
What gets in your way?
If you don’t believe in yourself and in your goals, you will drive your chariot in circles. You will spin and wander and sit down suddenly, wondering what the next step is. If you have this vehicle for change, whether it be a life decision or a new job or a new partner—you have to really focus on what’s good for you and what isn’t. Pay attention. You’re spinning.
Shavonne is distracted by life pulling her in many directions. She has a full-time job, two kiddos, and a partner and is working on her home business. She needs to remember that her spiritual connection is important, too. She needs to make space to honor that. Mind, body, and spirit balance is so very important, and the spirit side always seems to slip away.
Card 3: Two of Pentacles
What gets in your way?
You often get this card when you’re keeping your balance well amid rough weather. Keep light on your feet and don’t lose sight of your goals. Regardless of how crazy the world can be, as long as you maintain your balance, you’ll be just fine. Remember, the Buddha said be kind to everyone. You are part of everyone. Don’t involve yourself in other people’s issues. Just mind your business and reach out if your business involves getting assistance.
Shavonne doesn’t have to do everything, but she does need to have a little bit more balance in her world. She can’t just work and go home. That’s not enough living for her. She likes the outdoors but hasn’t found time to go hiking for a year or so. She loves going to the movies but doesn’t make space for this. She’s also been wanting to check out some volunteer opportunities, but hasn’t made space or time for this, either. Shavonne needs to get off her butt and go do something instead of wondering.
Card 4: Three of Pentacles
What pulls you forward?
Teamwork makes the dream work. Cheesy, but true. Collaborate and join up with like-minded people to make things happen. We are stronger together. Put your heads together and make magic happen.
This card is telling Shavonne that it’s okay to do the seeking for a spiritual home alone, but the point of the search is to find a connection to a community. We are social animals, and we can’t live in a vacuum. Whether Shavonne decides to volunteer or engage in her spiritual community, she needs to be out there.
Card 5: The Hierophant
What pulls you forward?
You may need to find a teacher or counselor to unlock the mysteries. Remember that you are not always the smartest person in the room. Every person has something to teach you. You have to study—people, nature, feelings, whatever—so you can open the world. The world doesn’t open to the lazy, and with immersion in a subject, you can begin to own it.
This reminds Shavonne that she has a lot to learn. She needs to break open her mind and her heart and connect with other people. There are so many paths to learn from and teachers to find. She is interested in Reiki and tarot as well as becoming more politically active. These are pursuits that will enrich her life and help her grow her community and her spiritual self.
Card 6: The Devil
Who or what in your life can assist you with this journey?
Listen, you know what your demons are and what tempts you. Identify your personal devil and be aware of it. Don’t let it get the upper hand. Just because you can sit on your phone all day doesn’t mean you should. If you do, there will be consequences, and they’ll suck pretty hard. If you know that a thing/person/cyclical thought process isn’t good for you, put it down. You are a precious, shining treasure, and that thing/person/cyclical thought process is dimming your shine. So quit it.
The Devil stuck his head in to remind Shavonne that the religion of her youth does not equal the spirituality of her now. She is smart and open to education. She can create a spiritual practice that fulfills her and drop the guilt and shame that she learned in her past.
Card 7: Four of Pentacles
Who or what in your life can assist you with this journey?
Hold on to those things that belong to you and be generous when you can. Be sure that you have everything you need before you share. Be sure that you come first. This card also indicates that you should keep an eye on the things that belong to you. Watch your money. Watch your possessions. Be safe.
Shavonne eliminated her spiritual life and filled the space with things that could go away tomorrow with no trace left behind: Facebook, video games, and her phone. These things are time-fillers. This is not to say that I’m judging that they exist, but they shouldn’t take up the lion’s share of your day. The return on investment isn’t great. The thing that can help her with this journey is consciously turning away from the mundane and turning toward the spiritual.
Card 8: The Fool
What choice can you make right now to get closer to your true path?
Jump! Take a chance. The universe will catch you. Be bold. Jump even if you’re afraid. If you keep moving forward, you’re winning. Even if you’re only moving by inches. Chaos behind me, and probably chaos ahead. The power of being wholly in the present, though, is what gives us the ability to say “okay then” and move forward anyway. Yes, we’ve screwed up. Sometimes in the most spectacular fashion. So what? We still have today and tomorrow and all the rest of our lives. Let’s decide. Let’s stop defining ourselves by our lowest moments and focus on the shiny parts. Let’s jump.
If Shavonne starts feeling stuck, she can remember a number of platitudes, such as “it’s not the destination, it’s the journey.” She needs to remember that she is her own spiritual guru and that she can lead the way in her studies and adventure. She doesn’t need a guru or a life coach or even a tarot reader (egad). She just needs to choose a direction and start exploring.
Summary
Shavonne needs to find a spiritual home. Reaching out to a community leader and testing out a few places that align with her soul will do the trick. She also needs to be more curious about the world around her.
Spirit Reading Example #2: Aidan
Aidan is a young, single professional. They were involved in a church when they grew up but felt very restricted by it. After they outgrew it, they didn’t put anything else in its place and have been thinking about how to fill that space.
Card 1: Temperance
What can you hold on to?
Balance in all things. Mind, body, and spirit. If one is out of whack, the others will soon follow. I made a checklist in my head that I follow every day to find balance. Have I tended to my altar? Did I move my body? Am I writing or reading or having on-fire discussions? These things keep me balanced. Find your things. Also, stop letting your brain feed you a litany of have tos and calm down and do one thing at a time. Simmer down.
Aidan’s life is pretty balanced—usually. They managed to keep their work and emotional life so full that they didn’t notice that their spiritual life disappeared somewhere during the last decade. This is why they chose the spirit reading.
Card 2: King of Swords
What gets in your way?
You don’t always have to be nice. You just have to be honest with yourself and with others. Move forward with focus and take no prisoners. This card reminds you to get your ducks in a row or the ducks will be fired and replaced with better, stronger ducks. Not even ducks, geese. Highly trained, efficient attack geese. Get to work—it will be worth it.
One of the distractions that Aidan runs into is that the only “church” experience they’ve ever had was one that they didn’t like. At all. They weren’t invested, the message didn’t resonate, and they didn’t agree with most of the things that they heard in church.
Card 3: Knight of Pentacles Reversed
What gets in your way?
If you are too “nose to the grindstone,” you’re going to wear that nose right off your face. You have got to look up and around. You have to stop the sleep/work/eat/watch TV pattern that you’ve fallen into. Snap out of it and start looking around at your life. Are you happy? Are you bored? Figure that out. Also, stop looking at your goddamned phone so much.
The other distraction that Aidan hit was that the spiritual side wasn’t a priority until they decided to make time for it. They’re very busy and very efficient, and have been very good at efficiently ignoring their spiritual self for about a decade. It was working just fine for them until they started paying attention.
Card 4: The Tower
What pulls you forward?
Everything is going to fall down. It needs to. This doesn’t mean you have to be buried under it. Sometimes things need to fall so new things can grow. Batten down the hatches, and collar those new emotions that come with change and inspect them. Make sure they’re yours and you’re not borrowing stress. Sometimes you need to set the past on fire and let it light the way to the future. It’s not comfortable, but it’s a lot more comfortable than cuddling up with decay. Get in right relations with the things that serve you so you can move forward with alacrity.
Aidan is ready for their life to change, and they’re actively doing and saying things that will bring change. The act of getting a tarot reading invites change. Conversations with friends. Looking up stuff online to revisit later. The unrest is growing. They’re ready to make things happen. This quest for truth and change is one of the strengths that Aidan brings to this journey.
Card 5: The Queen of Pentacles
What pulls you forward?
The Queen of Pentacles welcomes you into her lap for a snuggle. Comforting, loving, and compassionate. She is calm wherever she is because she chooses to be there. She doesn’t overreact. She doesn’t lose her balance. She decides how she’s going to feel, how she’s going to act, and who she’s going to allow in her life. She has the BEST BOUNDARIES EVER. Feet on the ground, steady and reliable.
Aidan is going to start the hunt for a faith community (like we discussed earlier with the Belief-O-Matic). They are looking at it as an adventure and aren’t going to settle for a place that is stuffy or staid or boring or that makes them uptight. They’re going to look for a place that feels like home.
Card 6: Page of Pentacles Reversed
Who or what in your life can assist you with this journey?
You not only dropped the ball, but you dropped it, kicked it, and then looked away before you saw where it landed. No good, man. You’ve got to get back on track. If you’re disillusioned or disheartened, it is absolutely okay to take a small break, but then you need to realign yourself with your goals and try again. No one is going to chase your dreams for you. Move it.
Aidan’s biggest problem will be that they’ll come out of the gate ready to go on this spiritual journey and then falter and then forget. They need to have a buddy system in pace. Aidan and a friend—a spiritual Sherpa, if you will—should go to interview and experience several different places of worship, and they should take their friend to brunch afterward. They need to stay accountable.
Card 7: Three of Cups
Who or what in your life can assist you with this journey?
Find your community! Do what you can to surround yourself with like-minded people and enjoy the companionship. Lean on them, be silly with them. Call your bestie right now and make plans to hang out. It’s good for you. Sometimes you have to dance because the real world has gotten so dark that if you don’t chase down a spark and make it grow, you’ll become part of the darkness. Don’t join the darkness.
Another support they’ll have is the warm and welcoming folks that they’ll meet on the way. They’re going to visit a lot of places of worship and are a little afraid of meeting so many new people. Even though not every place will be the one for them, they’ll meet amazing people who are truly looking out for their best interests.
Card 8: Six of Wands Reversed
What choice can you make right now to get closer to your path?
To quote Captain America from Spider-Man: Homecoming, “So, you got detention. You screwed up. You know what you did was wrong. The question is, how are you gonna make things right? Maybe you were trying to be cool. But take it from a guy who’s been frozen for sixty-five years—the only way to really be cool is to follow the rules.” Cap is right: if you drop the ball, you gotta figure out how to pick it up again.
The choice that they can make right now to bring this desire for a spiritual home to reality is to accept that they need more sanctuary in their life. They need something holy. Something sacred. They put all of this away so long ago, and it’s calling for them now. Aidan needs to open themselves to the Divine and see what role it will play in their life.
Summary
Aidan is going to become a spiritual explorer. Much like I did, they’re going to take the quiz, grab their spiritual Sherpa, and start planning trips to those places that match their moral compass. They’re going to go to at least two places of worship a month until they find one that speaks to them—one with ceremony and tolerance. If they don’t find one, they’re going to find a charity near them that speaks to their moral compass and will start volunteering every week. Your spiritual path isn’t going to knock on your front door and invite you to service. You have to explore who you are, what you need, and where you fit. After that, it’s a cakewalk. (Which we totally did in Catholic school. It was like musical chairs, but you won a cake. What’s an eight-year-old going to do with an entire cake? Besides go into a sugar frenzy.)
Exercise
The hardest part of all this is to quiet yourself. To sit and be still and see yourself as part of a pattern. You are not alone. When you are truly quiet and at peace, you’re able to separate all the noise and clutter of the world from yourself and truly listen to your own thoughts, feelings, and spirit. Whether you are a devout church-goer, an atheist, a spiritual-but-not-religious person—wherever you stand—we are going to quiet your spirit so you can hear what the universe is trying to tell you.
You get to play with fire again! Try to find some flying wish paper. If you can’t find that, regular paper is fine. Just be safe and don’t burn your house down.
I want you to write a letter to your spiritual self. It doesn’t have to be long, but it does need to be specific. The point of this letter is to decide what you want to leave behind in your spiritual life and what you want to welcome in. You can leave apathy behind and welcome passion. Leave behind a childhood religion that no longer serves you and welcome a new place of worship that does. After your letter is finished, find a pencil and summarize your lists on the wish paper, one piece for each list.
|
Release |
Bring In |
|
apathy |
community |
|
negative influences |
support |
|
judgement |
peace of mind |
|
hate |
friends |
When you’re finished, crumple up the wish paper, straighten it out, and then roll it into a chimney shape. Put the paper onto the wish paper burning platform or other fireproof surface and light it. The paper will blow away and take your concerns and hopes with it. (If you used regular paper, just burn it and let it go. Seriously, don’t burn the house down.) Please release the things you want to leave first. After they blow away, sit in silence for a few minutes and just breathe. When you feel it’s time, do the same with your welcome paper and send your hopes out to the universe.
Homework
- Who do you need to speak to in order to start your new spiritual journey?
- How will you eliminate the distractions we’ve identified?
- What specifically will your new journey do to make your life the way you want it?
Resources
One of the most valuable truths that I can tell you in this book or in life is that it’s just for now. Whatever you’re going through, whatever the day brings you, I assure you it’s just for now. On one of the darkest days of my life, inspired by Much Ado About Nothing, I got the lines “but then there was a star danced, and under that was I born” tattooed on my forearm, where I couldn’t help but see it every day. It took me some time to remember who I was and that all of this was just for now.
Places of Worship
Most places of worship welcome seekers. You can set up an appointment with the priest, rabbi, minister, imam, pujari, monk, or priestess and bring a list of questions. Do your homework first and make sure that you’re dressed appropriately. Even if these beliefs are not yet your beliefs, you need to be respectful of folks in their own spiritual space. Ask questions about the community service they do, what roles you could take on, and how closely they align to your moral compass.
Online Connections
There are a great many places online in which you can find spiritual communities. Often these can be wonderful places to meet new people and learn new things. Do use your common sense online, though. Just because someone purports to be spiritual doesn’t mean they’re not a snake oil salesman. Don’t send people money. Don’t share your personal information. Don’t make promises or engage deeply until you’re 100 percent sure you can trust who is on the other side of the internet.
Become a Student of Religion
Even if you aren’t religious at all, you can learn so much from studying the different faiths of the world. I started when I was a kid by learning about Greek and Egyptian mythology. This led to learning about Islam, which led to Judaism, which I kind of knew about because of Catholic school but not really. The more I learn about religion, the more I know about those people who practice it. If we are truly going to connect to our brothers and sisters, we need to see their perspectives as well as our own.
Volunteer
One of the best ways that you can become connected to your community is to get involved. Research your neighborhood or your city to see where the needs lie. Is it the food banks? The animal rescue organizations? Everyone needs a hand, so assess your skills and interest and see where you can help out. Bonus—by working in your community, you can get to know people in your community.