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Lance held the boxes of pie and watched Jenna drive away. When he opened the door and saw Jenna’s face, his heart dropped to his feet. It was as if a bolt of lightning struck him in his heart.
How could she turn up at his house?
His immediate thought had been to get her away before she ran into Lisa. There was no way in hell she would understand this situation, but before he could make his move, his ultimate fear came to life. He deeply regretted putting that look of misery on her face. He should’ve been brave and told her before about Lisa’s pregnancy, but every time he was about to utter the words, he chickened out.
Now, this was the result of his stupid pride.
“Why did she leave?” Lisa’s voice broke into his reverie.
Realizing that he was still holding the door open, Lance closed it. He walked towards the kitchen, carrying the boxes. With care, he put them on the kitchen table and sat.
Lisa followed him. “What the hell is going on? Will you tell me, please?”
He didn’t know what to say or how to put it into appropriate words. What was he supposed to tell his wife; that he was in love with another woman. How could he declare something like that? And yet, it’s the truth. He fell in love with Jenna after Lisa broke his heart. True, he never loved Lisa as passionately as she deserved to be loved, but he was at least loyal. For all these years, he never looked at another woman, including Jenna, because he was conscious of his marital status.
Once Lisa betrayed him, he turned to Jenna for comfort and support. When the initial heat he felt rose up from somewhere in the deep recesses of his being, he knew his love for Jenna had simmered there inside of him. Waiting to be brought up to the surface, he couldn’t help following his heart. Jenna was his world.
Probably always had been.
He stood, intending to go after Jenna. It was time to come clean and beg for forgiveness.
As he strode out of the kitchen, Lisa blocked his path. “You can’t leave without telling me what the hell is going on.”
He met her gaze. “I’m in love with Jenna.”
She reeled back. “You—what?”
Seeing the terrible look on her face, Lance felt sorry. “I should’ve told you before, but—I met with her again, once I came back. And one thing led to another. We’ve never—I’ve been careful not to...” He shook his head. “Nothing much has happened between us, but I did tell her that we were getting a divorce and once it was done, I wanted her to be mine.”
“You’ve been discussing our troubles with another woman?”
“Not another woman,” he corrected her. “She’s the one I want to be with. And no, I didn’t tell her about your pregnancy or your affair. Silly of me, but I wanted to protect your privacy. Seeing you—she got a shock since I never told her you were pregnant. I bet she thinks it’s my child and I’ve been lying to her all along.”
Lisa’s face lost what little color it had. “Do you love her?”
Did he love her? Not just loved her; he adored, worshipped and revered her. Though, Lisa would never understand the depths of his feeling for Jenna. She never loved him quite like that, and if he was honest, he never felt the same way for her even though he tried hard to do so. “Yes, I do.”
She sucked in a breath as if he punched her. “But—”
“I know that you’ve been hoping we’d get together, that I would come around...but it’s never going to happen. As I said before, I’m willing to support you in whatever way I can but I can’t devote my life to you and this baby, because the only one I want to be with is Jenna.”
“Were you in touch with her when you were away?”
“No, of course not.” Seeing that look in her eyes, he let out a snort. “Oh, God, no! Don’t you dare try to blame me for this, Lisa. If it wasn’t for the fact that I was greeted by your unexpected pregnancy at home, I never would’ve turned to her. She was only a friend before and she would have remained so if...” He gestured towards her protruding belly. “...This didn’t happen. I’m sorry though. Rather than hiding these things, I should’ve been more honest with both of you.”
Her lips lifted in a wry smile. “You never could bear to hurt anyone, Lance. That was always your biggest strength and my greatness weakness. Seems like I never think twice before hurting those who matter the most.”
He reached out to touch her and then dropped his hand. “I need to go, Lisa. Please.”
A tear slid down her cheek but she stepped aside. “Okay.”
Although he felt terrible, Lance strode out. He didn’t want Jenna to wait for too long before she got an explanation from him. He drove to her house, but her car was not in the garage. Where the hell did she go? He called her. His call went to voice message. He tried again and again, but there was no response.
“Damn it!” He banged his fist on the steering wheel. “Shit!”
He could leave a message on the phone, but this was something he wanted to explain to her in person. But how could he do it when she wouldn’t even give him a chance? There was no other way; he would stay here until she showed up. Lance settled to wait, but much to his chagrin, hours passed and she didn’t come back.
Where was she?
Worried, he tried her cell phone again, but it was now switched off. It was already ten at night, way past Jayden’s bedtime. She would never keep him out so late when he had school the next day. Did Jayden have school or was he off now for Christmas break?
Lance tried her cell phone again. It was still off. Defeated, he drove back home. Had she decided to cut him out of her life without even giving him a chance to explain? No! He wouldn’t allow her to do that. She was very important to him, as was Jayden. He couldn’t bear it if she decided to sever ties with him. It was pretty awful that he didn’t tell her the complete truth. Sure, he could understand her anger, her disappointment, but he made a mistake. He would beg for forgiveness.
She would have to grant it to him.
When he stepped inside his house, Lance found that the light in the living room was still on. He went in to check as Lisa usually went to sleep early. She was sitting on the couch. “Hi,” he said.
Her eyes were red. “Did you find her?”
He dropped onto the couch. “No, she wasn’t home. Wouldn’t even pick up my calls.”
Lisa didn’t say anything. Her fingers plucked at the threads on the armrest. “I don’t know how I would manage without you, Lance. Ever since I got married, I’ve been dependent on you, not physically of course, but emotionally. You were my rock. It was stupid of me to have an affair. Bryn...” She sniffed. “He was charming, and you weren’t there and I was too weak. I wish things were different.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“What are you going to do now?”
He sighed and leaned back. Fatigue echoed through his heart and body. What the hell was he going to do if Jenna refused to see him? “I’ll try again tomorrow.”
Lisa nodded and got up from the couch. “Good night, Lance.”
He watched her leave. A while later, he went to the guest room he’d been occupying since he came back. That night, he hardly slept. The next morning, after breakfast, he drove over to Jenna’s house but she’d already left. Jayden wasn’t home.
Lance slipped a note under the door.
‘Please listen to me once. If you don’t want to see me again, I won’t bother you. Give me one chance.’
He tried her cell but no one picked up. Running fast out of options, he left a similar voice message. A day passed by but he didn’t hear from Jenna. At night, he dropped by her house again, but she didn’t open the door. He could tell that she was inside, but his repeated ringing of the doorbell went unanswered.
Heartbroken, he returned home.
Lisa was waiting in the kitchen, eating a slice of the pie Jenna made. Her lush hair fell about her face. “Did you talk to her?”
“No.” He didn’t feel like discussing this mess with her. She was the cause of it. No. He shouldn’t push blame. If he’d told Jenna the truth, this wouldn’t have happened.
“Dinner?” Lisa asked.
He shook his head and trudged into his room before he broke down completely in front of Lisa. Lance spent another restless night. The next day, he woke up to find snow drifting down from the sky. It’d been a long time since he saw a white Christmas. If he was with Jayden and Jenna, they might have gone out to make a snowman.
But he was alone.
Jenna still wasn’t picking up his calls. He tried again and didn’t get a response. Had she completely, irrevocably cut him out of her life? Didn’t he even deserve one chance to explain? What would he do if she never saw him again? He couldn’t live without her. She’d become his whole life, she and Jayden. The last few weeks were the happiest he’d had in a long time and now, he couldn’t imagine existing without them. If they refused to accept him, he would go out of town and begin elsewhere. Living here, he would constantly be reminded of Jayden and Jenna.
No, he wouldn’t accept defeat so easily.
She wouldn’t get out of his life without a fight. He would try his best and if everything failed, only then he would think about another solution. In the evening, Lance dropped by her house. Expecting that she wouldn’t let him in, he rang the bell.
Much to his surprise, she opened the door.
“Hi.”
She gazed at him, nodded and stepped aside. “Come in.”
Lance didn’t wait for her to change her mind. He strode in and watched as she closed the door.
She crossed her arms over her chest.
Damn! Her hauntingly dark eyes accused him of all manner of evil, but even in anger, she looked gorgeous. “We need to talk.”
“Talk here and talk fast.”
Lance took a deep breath. He didn’t have anything to lose but he did have everything to gain. “The baby isn’t mine.”
Her eyes narrowed.
“I’m not lying. Lisa is eight months pregnant, she told you so. And I wasn’t here for a year.”
Her eyes were disbelieving, doubtful. “Not yours?”
“Not mine. I walked in to find her pregnant. Her—her boyfriend refused to take responsibility.” Words tumbled out of his mouth. He felt like the world’s biggest idiot. “I couldn’t just kick her out in that condition.”
She gaped at him. “I...” She shook her head. Walking over, she sat on the bottom step of the stairs. “It’s not your baby? She—cheated on you?”
“Remember when I came over here, well—I went home and found that my world had collapsed. How could she do this? It took me days to get over the shock of it. And I should have told you. I should have—but I just couldn’t bring myself to say the words.” He joined her on the steps. “I’m sorry I hurt you. Keeping the truth from you wasn’t the best idea.”
“No, it wasn’t. Although...” She took a deep breath. “I can understand why you didn’t tell me. It must have been devastating to come and find that—well, you know...” She spread her hands wide and then dropped them. “I’m sorry I gave you such a hard time.”
“It’s okay. I’m just glad you finally gave me an opportunity to explain.”
“Maybe I wouldn’t have—but Lisa messaged me.”
His mouth gaped open. He shut it and asked, “She messaged you? What did she say?”
“She said I needed to give you a chance to explain. A pregnant wife doesn’t send such a text to the other woman in her husband’s life unless she really thinks he’s innocent. And the message intrigued me enough to make me wonder if I was missing something.”
He couldn’t believe that Lisa would do such an unselfish thing. He never expected such a move from her. “I’m glad...at least you listened to her.”
She let out a laugh. “It was a pretty damning sight. I—couldn’t wrap my head around it, so I went over to a friend’s place that night and slept over with Jayden. If I was alone, I might have—broken down in front of Jayden and that wouldn’t have been a good move.”
He ran a hand down her back. Feeling relieved when she didn’t flinch, he let it rest. “Where is he?”
“He had a practice basketball game. His friend’s mother picked him up and she’ll drop him back.”
So...they were alone in the house? Lance’s mind ran with possibilities. But he didn’t want to do anything to piss her off. Just now, they came to some kind of an understanding and he didn’t want to mess things up.
As if sensing the thoughts that ran through his mind, she glanced at him. Her gaze settled on his face. “What are you and Lisa planning to do?”
“Divorce is the only option. But I have to convince her about it.”
She nodded. “No woman should go through this alone.”
Even in this situation, she could find it in her heart to be kind to another woman. “I know. That’s why it’s taking so long.”
For a while, they both sat in silence. God damn it! He’d missed her like crazy. The scent of her, sweet and strong, hit him as he sat near her. It seemed so quiet in the house that he could hear his own beating heart. His hand still rested on her back and he could feel the warmth of her skin spreading into him. An electric current zinged up his arm. Yearning spiked in his veins, slowly and softly until he felt like he was burning...Though, Lance dared not even a twitch.
He wanted to give her all the time in the world to decide about the next path their relationship would take. As far as he was concerned, he was bound heart, soul and mind to her. In the past, he’d always been the kind of guy who made the first move. Lance didn’t believe in regrets. But in this case, he desperately wanted something and yet, couldn’t bring himself to reach for it. He didn’t breathe. He didn’t move, didn’t shift. His hands itched to yank her into his arms, but he didn’t want to push her into making a decision.
The ball sat in her court and he hoped fervently that she would make the choice he desperately longed for.