As the sun began to rise over a smouldering London, the bridal outfit was finally complete. It comprised:

They could only bribe Gertrude to be dressed in all this with one thing. More fruit-and-nut cake.

MUNCH! MUNCH! MUNCH!

As the gorilla demolished another of Bessie’s delicious home-made treats, the three could fuss around her, getting her ready for the train trip to the seaside.

“She’s never looked lovelier!” cooed Sid.

“What a beautiful bride!” agreed Eric.

“I always cry at weddings!” blubbed Bessie.

“It’s not an actual wedding!” said Sid.

“Oh yes.”

“It’s just a disguise,” added Eric.

“And a ruddy good one at that!” admired Sid. “Now sit down, old girl!”

With that, he gently sat the cake-munching gorilla down in the wheelchair.

MUNCH! MUNCH! MUNCH!

“Now, Uncle Sid, you have to dress like the groom!” said Eric.

“Me?”

“Yes! You can pretend you two just got married and if anyone stops you and asks, you just say you are going to the seaside for your honeymoon!”

“But… but… but…” protested Sid.

“No buts, Sidney!” said Bessie sternly. “Listen to the boy. He’s a good deal smarter than you! Go upstairs and put your best suit on!”

“Harrumph!” harrumphed the man. “What about the boy?”

“Oh yes!” agreed Bessie. He’ll need a cover too!”

Eric shifted uncomfortably on his feet.

“I know!” exclaimed the lady. “You can be a pretty little page boy!”

“What’s a page boy?” asked Eric.

“It’s like a boy bridesmaid!”

“No, thank you!” he snapped.

“Now come on, everyone is getting into character. You need to too!”

“Well, what do page boys wear?”

“Normally, Victorian sailor suits!”

“NO!” shouted Eric.

“Let me see what I can rustle up! I’ll be back in a jiffy!”

Eric barely had time to sulk before Bessie popped back to her house next door and returned with a ragbag of what looked like her own undergarments.

“I am not wearing any of that!” huffed the boy.

“Wait! Let me work my magic!”

In moments, she had adorned him in various frilly lace bits and bobs. He looked like some sort of silly little toff from the olden days.

“I am not wearing this!” he grumbled again.

“There’s no time to argue!” said Bessie.

Just then there was a thunderous banging on the door.

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

“Oh no!” hissed Eric.

Sid was still upstairs getting changed into his wedding suit.

“Shall I open it?” asked the boy.

“No, no,” replied Bessie. “Let’s just stay silent and maybe whoever it is will just go away!”

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

It was louder this time.

“Don’t say a word!” whispered Bessie.

“DON’T SAY A WORD!” repeated Parker the parrot.

“Shut up, you stupid bird!” hissed Bessie.

“SHUT UP, YOU STUPID BIRD!” repeated the stupid bird.

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

“WE CAN HEAR YOU IN THERE!” called a voice through the letterbox. It sounded an awful lot like Miss Nina Misra. “OPEN THIS DOOR AT ONCE OR WE WILL BE FORCED TO BREAK IT DOWN!”

“BREAK IT DOWN! BREAK IT DOWN!” repeated Parker.

“ALL RIGHT, THEN! WE WILL!” replied Nina.

“HIDE!” hissed Bessie. “Don’t worry! I’m coming! I’m coming!”

She shut the kitchen door behind her. Eric knelt down at it so he could spy through the keyhole. From there, he could see Bessie answer the door to the air-raid warden. This time she was not alone. Nina was flanked by two policemen. All had grave expressions on their faces.

“Yes? Can I help you?” asked Bessie as innocently as she possibly could, which was not that innocently. She was too nice to be good at lying.

The warden looked confused to see this lady answer the door.

“Is there an old man, a young boy, and a, er, lady dressed as a gorilla who live here?” demanded Nina.

“Let me think!” replied Bessie. “No! Just me! I live here all alone. No husband. No son. And definitely nobody dressed as a gorilla. I am sure I would remember that. I’m sorry, but you must have the wrong house! Goodnight!”

The lady went to close the door, but the warden put her boot in the way.

“Not so fast!” said Nina. “We heard another voice through the letterbox. A squawky-sounding voice. Who was that?”

“I don’t know what you are talking about!” lied Bessie. “Now I really must get to bed.”

“GET TO BED! GET TO BED!” repeated Parker.

“There it is!” exclaimed Nina.

“It’s just an echo!” lied Bessie.

“An echo?”

“AN ECHO! AN ECHO!” repeated the parrot.

“See!” exclaimed Bessie. “There it goes again! Now I really am very tired, so please let’s call it a night. If I do see an old man, a young boy and, of course, anyone dressed up as a gorilla, you will be the first to know!”

Bessie tried to close the front door again, but the warden put her heavy hand up against it. “You don’t mind if we have a quick look around the house, do you?” she asked.

Bessie could protest no more. The warden, flanked by the two policemen, marched into the hallway.

“We will start in there!” said the warden, pointing to the kitchen door.

Hiding behind the door on his knees, the boy gulped.

They were all done for!