Eric put his shoulder up against the kitchen door to stop it from opening. But his boyish frame was no match for Nina and the two burly policemen with her. They began shoving the door open as Bessie was begging for them to stop.
“NOOOO! PLEASE! YOU’LL FRIGHTEN THE ANIMALS!”
“ANIMALS? WHAT ANIMALS?” demanded Nina.
“Oh, just a pair of tadpoles, but they are very sensitive to loud noise!”
Just then Eric could hear Sid clunking down the stairs on his tin legs.
CLINK! CLANK! CLUNK!
“You can’t go in there!” he cried.
“Oh, it’s you!” replied Nina. “So you were lying, lady! This man does live here. Now we are going to arrest that person in the gorilla costume. Or, from the pungent stink coming from the kitchen, I’m beginning to think it might be an actual gorilla! In which case we will arrest it!”
The kitchen door burst open.
DOINK!
The air-raid warden and the two policemen were met by the most unexpected sight.
It was a wildlife park! A little wildlife park, but a wildlife park, nonetheless.
All the animals reacted to these three uninvited guests in different ways…
Parker the one-winged parrot leaped on to the back of a chair.
Ernie the elephant raised his stumpy trunk and waved with it as if to say “hello”.
Sassy the sightless seal honked.
“HONK!”
Totter the giant tortoise with no shell stopped in his tracks.
Florence the one-legged flamingo was so shocked she toppled right over.
DONK!
Colin the toothless crocodile scuttled under the table in fear.
SCRAMP!
Botty the one-armed and big-bottomed baboon scratched her big bottom with her one arm.
SCRITCH!
And last, but certainly not least, Gertrude the gorilla took a break from licking the cake plate clean and lifted up her bridal veil. Then she blew the longest, loudest raspberry you have ever heard in your life.
The raspberry went on for so long that it shocked everyone who heard it into the deepest silence. When she’d finally finished, Eric remarked, “I think that meant ‘hello’!”
The three intruders looked absolutely appalled.
“You aren’t allowed to have all these exotic animals in your house!” said the first policeman. “I am putting you all under arrest!”
“Even the animals?” asked the other.
“Yes! Even the animals!”
“On what charge?”
“We’ll think of something!”
As the policemen unhooked their handcuffs from their belts, Sid sprang into action.
“There’s only one thing for it! DINNER TIME!”
This cry made all the animals charge towards Sid.
WHOOSH!
They knocked the air-raid warden and the two policemen to the floor…
…trampling all over them in a rush to be fed.
TRAMPLE! TRUMPLE! TROMPLE!
“ARGH!”
“GET OFF!”
“I’VE GOT A GREAT BIG BABOON’S BOTTOM IN MY FACE!” they cried.
With the three pinned to the ground, it was the perfect moment for the other three to make their escape. Eric raced round the back of Gertrude’s wheelchair and
out of the back door.
“Come on, Uncle Sid!” he cried.
They trundled out of the garden, across the burnt-down fence, through Bessie’s house, Gertrude swiping a cake tin on the way, and out of her front door. The air-raid warden must have managed to scramble to her feet, as she gave chase down the road.
“STOP RIGHT THERE!” shouted Nina.
Bessie emerged and ran after the air-raid warden.
“NO! YOU STOP RIGHT THERE!” she shouted.
Taking a running jump, Bessie performed an expert rugby tackle.
THUMP!
Nina fell to the ground…
THUD!
…Bessie on top of her.
“OOF!”
“GO, MY SIDNEY, GO!” shouted Bessie as she pinned Nina to the road.
“Thank you, my dear!” called back the old man, now in the distance. “This way!” he hissed to Eric. Together they pushed Gertrude in the wheelchair along a maze of back alleys so they couldn’t be followed.
The three had to speed all the way to the station if they were going to escape to the seaside. They trundled along the empty roads as fast as they could. The gorilla didn’t seem to mind the lumps and bumps of the rubble on the ground too much. She was too busy munching on another fruit-and-nut cake from Bessie’s house to worry.
MUNCH! MUNCH! MUNCH!
As they neared the railway station, the streets began to hum with passers-by. Needless to say, this wild wedding party received some strange looks. Eric and Sid thought it best to brazen it out by greeting people cheerily.
“HELLO!”
“GOOD MORNING!”
“SUPER DAY FOR IT!”
Eventually the three reached the station. Now was the real test. Could they really board a train with a
great big gorilla?