Chapter 18
Walking the Walk: The Wives
In This Chapter
Encountering women about whom little is known
Meeting women of strong faith in troubled times
Witnessing the lives of wives who suffered
Getting to know some tragic figures
T he nameless women of the Bible identified by their relationships as wives are discussed in this chapter. These women are known by the fame of their husbands or by their own words and deeds recorded in Scripture. Some of them are faithful to their spouses and to the Lord, while others are almost adversarial — if not confrontational with either or both. We see the best and the worst of the wives here — as well as those who fall in between.
Cain’s Wife: Mystery Woman
The single biblical reference to Cain’s wife raises more questions than it answers, but they are nonetheless interesting points to ponder.
Cain, the son of Adam and Eve who killed his brother, Abel, takes a wife. As the first murderer recorded in the Bible (and in the human race), Cain also is the first fugitive, and it is during his exile that presumably he met his wife. Together they have a son, Enoch, and build a city (east of Eden in the land of Nod) named for him. (Genesis 4:17 is where you can find these details of Cain’s life.)
Pondering whom Cain’s wife could have been is interesting. After all, if Adam and Eve were the first human beings and they produced only two children — Cain and Abel — where did this mystery woman come from?
According to Genesis 5:4, Adam and Eve had “other sons and daughters” after Cain and Abel, including Seth and more (unnamed children). But unless Cain’s wife was one of his sisters, no one really knows who she is.
A second question regards whether Cain’s wife knew that her husband was the world’s first murderer — and that he had murdered his own brother. God put a mark on Cain after he killed Abel to warn anyone not to seek vengeance by killing Cain (Genesis 4:15). His wife must have seen this mark and knew what it meant. Many theologians propose that Cain did regret his heinous sin and asked for God’s mercy — and that his wife and son signify this fact. Had Cain not repented, his punishment would have been more severe, possibly never finding a wife and not ever having any children.
Though barely mentioned in the Bible, Mrs. Cain, whoever she was, must have seen some intrinsic good in the man reviled throughout history for murdering his only brother. Something in Cain was lovable, and his wife may have recognized it.
Noah’s Wife: Faithful in the Flood
Noah’s wife presents more biblical mystery. She and Noah lived in what is called the antediluvian era, which is a fancy way of saying “before the flood.” People in the Bible before Abraham and Sarah (going all the way back to Adam and Eve) do not have a definite historical chronology; in other words, we’re not sure when they lived because no other nonbiblical historical references identify the time period.
She is briefly mentioned in Genesis 6:18 when God instructs Noah to bring two of every animal, plus his wife and children to the ark, which Noah has built in order to escape the divine punishment meant to rid the earth of wicked and evil. Although Noah’s wife’s name is never given, she must have been a righteous and virtuous woman. Otherwise, she would have been left behind with all the evil and unrepentant people who perished in 40 days and 40 nights of torrential rain. The wife of Noah is mentioned only five times in the Bible (Genesis 6:18; 7:7; 7:13; 8:16; and 8:18) and always as a member of the family with Noah and their children — never alone as an individual.
The last time we hear of Noah’s wife is when the flood stops (after 40 days), the dry land appears, the ark lands, and the family and animals disembark (see Genesis 8:18). She is conspicuously missing or at least not mentioned when Noah was discovered naked by his son Ham, getting drunk on some wine he made from grapes he had cultivated (see Genesis 9:20–22). Ham’s sin was that he went out and told his brothers, Shem and Japheth. When they find Noah, they show modesty and respect by covering him up, whereas Ham just went out and let his brothers know that their dad was in an embarrassing situation. The Bible doesn’t say when the wife of Noah died, but it does say that he lived to be 950 years old, 350 of those after the flood (Genesis 9:28–29). We’re not sure if Noah’s wife died before the wine incident or later, but the Bible doesn’t mention her after the animals leave the ark.
Judah’s Wife: Famous for Her Death
Judah and his wife lived sometime during the seventeenth or sixteenth century BC. He was one of the 12 sons of Israel (also known as Jacob), and we hear of his wife for the first time in Genesis 38:1–5 (see more two paragraphs below). They were living in Canaan at this time, but later, Jacob (Judah’s father) and his sons (including Judah and his wife) move to Egypt to escape famine.
The most significant aspect of Judah’s wife, as recorded in the Bible, isn’t her life; it’s her death. As the wife of Judah, she had given birth to three sons: Er, Onan, and Shelah. Unfortunately, the two elder sons die, one after another, each leaving the same widow, Tamar. Childless Tamar presumes she can marry the third son, Shelah, but his father, Judah, says no. (See Tamar’s full story in Chapter 9.)
The death of Judah’s wife is significant because it allows Tamar to move in and trick Judah into becoming the father of her twin sons, Zerah and Perez (the ancestor of King David and also of Jesus). Had Judah’s wife not died when she did, Judah would never have been involved with Tamar, and the lineage would have ended there. The Bible never says when the wife of Judah dies nor how. The Book of Jubilees, which is not in the Bible but part of the noninspired books of the Old Testament era (called the Pseudepigrapha by Protestants and the Apocrypha by Catholics and Eastern Orthodox), does claim that she died soon after refusing to allow Shelah to marry Tamar, as Judah had previously promised. Due to the questionable authenticity, authorship, and origins of the Pseudepigrapha, facts found in the Book of Jubilees aren’t considered reliable, however, so no one knows for sure.
Manoah’s Wife: Obeying an Angel
This woman who lived around the twelfth century BC is best known for having a famous son, Samson (the strongest man on earth who could single-handedly wipe out a thousand Philistines), but the Bible identifies her only as the wife of Manoah (see Judges 13 for more details). Manoah and his wife live in Zorah and are of the tribe of Dan. This Danite couple is, unfortunately, childless until an angel of the Lord appears to the barren wife to tell her that she will conceive and bear a son.
Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel (read more about them in Chapter 9), and Hannah (see Chapter 11) all were blessed with children after the embarrassment of many years of childlessness. When the wife of Manoah gets pregnant with Samson, she joins their ranks. The angel tells her, however, that she must avoid wine and liquor and all unclean foods during the pregnancy, because she will give birth to a son who will be a Nazirite (see more on this in the Technical Stuff information later). Today, most people would consider the angel’s advice as merely good prenatal care.
Back at the time of Manoah’s wife, though, following such instructions was a real act of faith. Water, wine, salt, and bread were the staples of life in the ancient world. Wine symbolized both physical and spiritual life. Potable water wasn’t always accessible, and wine often served as a good substitute. Religious rituals involved wine libations poured over altars and consumed by worshipers.
After the angel tells Manoah’s wife’s of her coming pregnancy, the couple offers to make a meal for the angel, which he refuses, instead asking that they take the goat they would have cooked to eat and burn it as an offering to God. They comply with the request, the offering’s fire rises to the sky, and the angel went with it. Manoah and his wife then realize that it is an angel who had visited them, and they fall to their knees with their faces toward the ground. Manoah fears they will surely die for having seen an angel. (See Judges 13:3–22 for more details.) Unlike the naked babies with wings you see on Valentine’s Day cards, angels in Biblical times didn’t appear as cute little infant cherubs. Angels are powerful beings with enormous strength, intelligence, and beauty far beyond what any human being could ever achieve. Seeing an angel was a fearful event for many Jews and early Christians because the angelic messenger usually brought important news that was not always happy. For example, angels could bring a warning about imminent disaster, death, or disease. Manoah’s wife, however, reassures him:
—Judges 13:23
And right she was. The wife of Manoah does as the angel instructs and has a son that she and her husband name Samson. Even though both husband and wife listen to and obey the divine message, the woman is the one who shows a great religious insight. Manoah’s wife appears one more time in Scripture when her son, Samson, is grown. She protests the wife her son chooses because the woman is a Philistine (Judges 14:3). Philistines were the enemies of Israel, and Samson, a Danite, was to deliver his people from them. Yet he falls in love with someone from the other side.
Samson’s Wife: The Answer to a Riddle
Like Samson’s mother, the wife of Samson is also nameless. This Philistine woman lives in Timnah (20 miles west of Jerusalem) during the eleventh century BC. She had been criticized by Samson’s own mother as unsuitable — after all, Samson devotes his life to fighting the Philistines — and some scholars speculate that Samson uses her to get back at her people. Judges 14:4 says “he was seeking a pretext to act against the Philistines” when Samson told his parents about the woman he intended to marry.
Her significance lies in the fact that she serves as a pawn between Samson and her father, as well as within Samson’s war on the Philistines. But she doesn’t just sit back and take it. She may have figured out he was marrying her only to use her, and so she does something that could have been conceived as revenge. Before the marriage is consummated, Samson gives a riddle to his Philistine guests, which was common wedding reception entertainment in those days:
—Judges 14:12–13
Thirty of the guests accept the bet. The riddle Samson tells is, “Out of the eater came something to eat. Out of the strong came something sweet” (Judges 14:14). They are stumped and can’t solve the puzzle, but the guests convince his fiancée to lure the answer from him. She weeps for seven days until he breaks down and tells her the solution: “What is sweeter than honey? What is stronger than a lion?” (Judges 14:18).
Previous to his engagement, Samson had slain a lion with his bare hands and later that day came upon the dead carcass to find bees making honey within the dead beast. The eater is the bee who makes something to eat, honey. The strong is the lion, now dead, but from within his carcass came the sweet honey. Then she tells the guests, who are able to solve the riddle. Samson becomes infuriated and says, “If you had not plowed with my heifer, you would not have found out my riddle” (Judges 14:18). Outraged, Samson kills 30 Philistines and takes their cloaks and uses them to pay off the gambling debt he has just lost.
When Samson leaves, the father of his bride is so embarrassed he gives his daughter to Samson’s best man, and when he returns to find his wife given to another, it spawns a series of escalating violent incidents. The father then tries to substitute his younger daughter for the one Samson had wanted. Samson replies: “This time, when I do mischief to the Philistines, I will be without blame” (Judges 15:3). Samson gets creative. Using foxes, he ties torches to their tails and sets them loose to burn the standing grain of the Philistines.
The Philistines retaliate by burning Samson’s wife, her sister, and her father to death in their own home. His wife’s gruesome demise angers him, so he slays a thousand Philistines with a donkey’s jawbone that he found on the roadside. Whether he truly loved her or not, Samson was outraged that his father-in-law gave his wife to the best man and was even more livid when his mortal enemies kill them. He avenged their deaths and defended his honor. (See Judges 15:4–15 for this story.) Samson’s wife is never mentioned again.
Solomon’s Wives: A Kingdom’s Downfall
King Solomon of the unified Kingdom of Israel (tenth century BC) had 700 wives and 300 concubines (30 times more than his dad, King David) during his reign (1 Kings 11:3). Used as political bargaining chips rather than as loving partners in a marriage covenant, the wives of Solomon may have lived in material opulence but were romantically impoverished. His wives were a virtual rainbow of ancient ethnicities and included a daughter of Pharaoh along with Moabite, Sidonian, Edomite, and Hittite women.
Marrying a king’s daughter was the best insurance for global peace in those days, and many of Solomon’s wives were offered as flesh-and-blood treaties by their fathers, foreign rulers with whom Solomon chose to make peace. Solomon’s wives are relevant because they lead him into alien religions, which were not only taboo but also spelled disaster for the throne and the kingdom.
—1 Kings 11:4–5
By worshiping the false gods of his wives, Solomon offended God greatly. His punishment would not be seen in his lifetime, however, out of God’s respect for King David, Solomon’s father (1 Kings 11:9, 11–12).
Jeroboam’s Wife: Suffering for Her Spouse’s Sins
Jeroboam’s wife was the queen to a king who ruled northern Israel from 928–907 BC. Discussed in 1 Kings 14:1–17, Jeroboam’s wife was a tragic figure who suffered because of her husband’s sins.
King Jeroboam I worships foreign gods, makes molten images of calves in shrines, and persecutes the priests of the true religion of Judaism. His son becomes quite ill, so thinking that God may heal his son despite his infidelity, he sends his wife the queen to the prophet Ahijah for a cure.
Cognizant of his sins, Jeroboam instructs the queen to disguise herself and bring gifts to the prophet that would befit a commoner. He hopes that the prophet, who has bad sight, won’t recognize her and therefore will grant her the request.
When Ahijah hears the sound of her footsteps, he greets her: “Come in, you wife of Jeroboam! Why do you pretend to be another?” (1 Kings 14:6). Unfortunately, he doesn’t grant her wish. Instead, he instructs her to tell Jeroboam that God intends to punish him for idolatry and other abominations against the Hebrew religion. Her son won’t be cured but will die as a result of his father’s sins.
Imagine a mother hearing such a prophecy? She says nothing in reply. The dutiful wife instead returns home to find her son already dead. Jeroboam’s wife and her son are innocent victims. Her husband is the one who violated the Mosaic law (Ten Commandments) by erecting golden calf idols and promoting pagan worship, but she must pay the price for his sins through the death of a son.
Not mentioned again in the Bible, this dutiful wife and loving mother may have been comforted that her son is at least buried with dignity . . . unlike the dire prediction “Anyone belonging to Jeroboam who dies in the city, the dogs shall eat; and anyone who dies in the open country, the birds of the air shall eat; for the LORD has spoken” (1 Kings 14:11).
Job’s Wife: Giving Up on God
The Book of Job was written sometime between the seventh and fifth centuries BC, but we don’t know the time period in which Job himself lived. Many Bible scholars speculate that it was sometime before the Exodus and after Abraham lived. Job’s wife plays a very brief role in the Bible. They live somewhere in Arabia, and the Book of Job opens with the wealth they initially enjoyed: seven sons, three daughters, 7,000 sheep, 3,000 camels, 500 oxen, and 500 donkeys. Job’s luck, however, turns suddenly and sharply, and his wife’s doubts are in stark contrast to Job’s eternal patience and faith in God.
Job becomes the subject of debate between Satan and God. The Evil One says Job is faithful only because everything was going his way. He claims that if Job’s luck turned, he eventually would curse God for falling upon hard times. (See the Job 1:6–12 for more details.)
But Satan is proved wrong. Even when Job’s children die and he is struck with leprosy, he remains faithful to God. At no point does he give in and blame God for his predicament. He utters this memorable response, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return there; the LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD ” (Job 1:21).
Is she fed up with all the suffering? Or is it just that she can’t stand to see her loved ones suffer anymore? Whatever her motivation, Job doesn’t accept her questioning and rebukes her. He asks why, if they receive good things from the Lord, should they not also receive the bad. The Bible never explains the mystery of why there is evil in the world or why the innocent rather than the guilty are the ones who often suffer.
Although his wife doesn’t appear again, Job curses, not God, but his own life. His friends try to tell him he must have done something evil to deserve such suffering or that he must need to be chastised or corrected by the Lord. Job just wants his life to end and curses the day he was born. Yet, he never curses God, and for this he is ultimately rewarded at the end of the book with twice as much as he had before he was an object of mischief from the devil.
Ezekiel’s Wife: A Symbol of the Temple
Ezekiel, a prophet in the sixth century BC, is married to the love of his life, a woman whom God even called “the desire of your eyes” (Ezekiel 24:16). Because of her beauty and importance to Ezekiel, God uses her as a symbol of the Temple of Jerusalem. Unfortunately, like the Temple, this woman meets a tragic fate.
The couple lived during the time of the Babylonian captivity and exile after the southern kingdom of Judah fell in 587 BC. In a dream, Ezekiel is told that his beloved wife is soon to die. Worse yet, he is forbidden to show any external mourning for her — no tears and no public grieving.
—Ezekiel 24:16–18
Her death symbolizes the fulfillment of a prophecy. The Temple of Jerusalem is the pride and joy of the Hebrew people, but because of their sins, the Temple will be destroyed. Just as Ezekiel isn’t allowed to publicly mourn the death of his beloved wife, the Jewish people, who were at that time in exile, have to refrain from mourning the destruction of the Temple by King Nebuchadnezzar in AD 586 and the slaughter of the Jews in Jerusalem by the Babylonians. Ezekiel’s wife was as dear to his heart as the Temple of Jerusalem was to every Jew, especially those in captivity who longed for their release. When Ezekiel has to deal with the sudden and unexpected death of his wife, it is a symbol of what the exiled Jews would feel and experience when they received the news of the ruin of Jerusalem and the desecration of the Temple.
In both situations, the response is utter shock and horror, with no public mourning to adequately express the enormous loss. God took away Ezekiel’s wife the day before he speaks to the people so he could adequately prophesy to them the great loss they were about to experience: the destruction of the beloved Temple, a loss as painful as losing a spouse. Just as Ezekiel was told by God not to show any public mourning for his recently deceased beloved wife, the Israelites were told to not mourn the loss of their beloved Temple — no crying and no outward sign of grief. The pain of losing something beloved was compounded by the fact that the people were forbidden to express their misery. This was the punishment the people received for their sins against religion. The analogy of husband-wife recurs in the Bible again and again to describe the relationship of God and the Hebrew People in the Old Testament and between Jesus Christ and the Church in the New Testament.