It was late afternoon when Kate returned from the Estate Office, where she had singularly failed to distract herself with work and had spent most of the afternoon gazing into space, alternately reliving that morning’s encounter and trying to imagine how she and Daniel were going to navigate the next two months.
En route to her bedchamber, to freshen up, she reached the top of the stairs—and gave a squeal of surprise when Daniel appeared at the door of the master suite.
‘Kate. I’ve been waiting for you. Will you come in? I’d like to talk to you.’
‘What about?’
‘Myself,’ he said, drawing from her a wry look.
She allowed him to usher her in, then made for the window seat, which stretched across the embrasure of the three central windows, where he joined her, though he did not sit down.
‘I’d forgotten how much better the view is from up here,’ he said. ‘You can see into the kitchen garden and the rose garden as well as down to the lake.’
‘It’s because it’s built out above the drawing room, while the rooms on either side are set slightly back.’
‘I know.’
‘Yes, of course you do.’
‘You’re wondering what I’m doing here.’
‘I can only presume you have finally decided to view your sister’s portrait. Is it a good likeness?’
She waited for him to shrug, but instead he sat down beside her. He was wearing a fresh tunic and trousers in black silk.
‘It has captured her very well,’ he said. ‘It used to hang in my father’s study. After Gillian ran off it vanished. I assumed he’d destroyed it. Are the girls very like her?’
‘Phoebe is her image. Estelle’s beauty is even more striking, if that is possible, though she’d hate me saying so. And Eloise is a...a slightly muted version—though that doesn’t mean she is not extremely beautiful. But it can’t be denied that when she is beside the twins, it is easy to overlook her.’
‘Gillian would not have appreciated her daughters outshining her. She had to be the sole focus of attention in every room she walked into. Even I fell under her spell.’
‘You were a little boy and, from what you’ve told me, starved of affection. So I’m not surprised.’
‘You make me sound like a stray kitten.’ Daniel grimaced. ‘I suppose that is an apt description. The runt that no one wanted, that everyone thought too weak to survive.’
‘Don’t say that.’
‘It’s the truth. When she eloped, my father purged this place of any trace of her. I was forbidden to mention her name, all her possessions were destroyed—it was as if he had never had a daughter—and I was banished, for my part in her fall from grace. I was sent to school—which should have been a small victory for me, but was an absolute disaster.’
Daniel had been gazing at his sister’s portrait, but now his expression was quite blank, his tone equally so. It made Kate’s spine tingle. She had no idea why he was confiding in her like this, volunteering such deeply personal and painful memories, but she sensed the reason was ominous.
She wanted to comfort him, to hold his hand, to tell him to stop, because she knew it hurt him, but she didn’t dare interrupt. So she waited, silently, until he spoke again.
‘I was ten years old and Elmswood formed the boundaries of my world. I’d never had friends, I’d no experience of what they call the rough and tumble of life at such a school. Can you imagine—? No, I don’t suppose you can. In plain terms, I was bullied, ostracised and humiliated. No, don’t, Kate. Let me speak.’
With difficulty, she did as he bade her, biting back her indignant exclamations and protests. ‘Go on.’
‘I could either sink or swim. I chose to swim—though against the tide, not with it. I threw myself into my studies—Classics and languages—and I took up athletics. But I wouldn’t play their stupid ball games, I wouldn’t acknowledge the strict hierarchy that matters so much in those places, and I duly paid the price.’
‘Daniel! I’m sorry, but that is awful.’
‘It served to toughen me up. I relied on no one but myself. I learned how to put on a front. I learned not to care. All lessons that stood me in good stead later. I got by for the better part of four years. I was lonely, but I grew accustomed to that too. I thought I preferred being alone. And then Leo arrived at the school.’
‘The Classics tutor you mentioned?’
He took his turquoise amulet from his pocket and began to turn it over in his hands. ‘He was my tutor, but he also became my friend—my only friend. For that last year at school I was happy. Leo and I planned to visit the ancient sites of Greece and Italy one day. He was as eager as I was to explore the world of antiquity. Then I made the mistake of inviting him to Elmswood for the summer, and my father hated Leo from the first. He saw that I was happy, and he set about destroying that happiness. Leo left suddenly one day, under a cloud, and I was removed from school—presumably so I couldn’t have any further contact with him.’
‘What happened to provoke such an extreme reaction in your father? It had to be more than jealousy or a desire to thwart you.’
For the first time Daniel looked agitated. ‘I can’t remember.’ He jumped to his feet. ‘My father must have had serious words with Leo—some sort of argument, I presume. He refused to discuss it with me, so I don’t know what triggered it. All he would say was that he wouldn’t tolerate my having such a friend. And as for Leo—he didn’t answer my letters. I never saw him again.’
‘And that’s when you joined the Admiralty?’
Daniel sat down again and put his turquoise back in his pocket.
‘My father decided I needed to pay a suitable penance for blotting my copybook a second time and proving to be a sore disappointment to him. He reckoned consigning me to shuffle papers closeted away in Admiralty House for a few years might teach me a bit of a lesson. But after two years I was thoroughly bored, and I had worked out that no matter how many papers I shuffled I’d never be good enough for him. So I volunteered to sail with an expedition sponsored by Joseph Banks and the Royal Society. The perfect opportunity, you’d have thought, to make a man of a so-called insipid eighteen-year-old with no experience of the world. But naturally my father objected. Having lost one child to foreign climes, he wished to keep the other close to home and under his wing.’
‘That implies protectiveness, but it sounds more like wanting to control your every move,’ Kate said. ‘I can’t believe all this was playing out while I was growing up on your doorstop. I had no idea.’
‘Fortunately for me Sir Marcus stepped in, persuading him that my duty to King and country required me to sail, and so I sailed. Though I had no idea at the time, he’d been keeping an eye on me, and had seen evidence of the particular qualities he required in anyone serving in his field. He wished to test my suitability, without either myself or my father being aware that he was doing so. When I returned, three years later, I had clearly passed the test, since he offered me my first active role. And the rest, as they say, is history.’
A great deal more history than Daniel had ever revealed before, Kate thought, struggling to assimilate all that he’d told her.
‘Did your father know, then, that you were not really an explorer?’
‘Oh, yes, he knew. And he knew too, that when I left I had no intention of returning.’
‘You wished him to disinherit you. You told me that when I proposed. But he didn’t.’
Daniel smiled grimly. ‘Between us, you and I thwarted his plan to put me back in my place. By then I’d found my own niche, and I was determined, as you know, not to give it up. Not ever.’
Her stomach sank. This, then, was the point of his confession. ‘It means everything to you, your work? More than anything?’
‘I’m sorry, Kate, but it does.’
‘Don’t be sorry. You have made it clear from the start—when we married—and consistently since you arrived here. This morning gave me no expectations.’
His hand sought hers. ‘I know that. What happened this morning took us both by surprise.’
‘But it changes nothing. That’s what you’re essentially saying, isn’t it?’ Kate shifted out of his reach.
‘My missions tend to last a year—sometimes less, rarely more. I have no time to make friends, no time to become embroiled with anyone, and I like it that way. I prefer it that way. That last mission was the longest time I’ve ever spent in one place. Looking back, I see that it was far too long. It left me open to becoming more embroiled than was healthy.’
‘So you are determined not to get “embroiled”, as you put it, with me,’ Kate said.
‘I’m choosing not to. It would be a mistake. I know myself very well. I know that I thrive on being alone, being my own man, answerable to no one. I don’t want to settle down. I doubt I could settle even if I wanted to. I am trying to be very honest with you. The life I have chosen for myself is the only one I want, and one perfectly suited to me. There is no room for anyone else in that life. Do you understand now?’
‘Perfectly.’
‘I know I’ve hurt you...’
‘You give yourself too much credit. I am not in love with you, Daniel, and nowhere close to falling for you. I am not going to waste my time or my affections on a man who has made it crystal-clear he doesn’t want either.’
‘Kate...’
‘No, you’ve had your say, now let me have mine.’
She took a breath, trying to quell her outrage and hurt, to think logically, to speak rationally, knowing that he would discount anything else.
‘I am touched by what you’ve told me, and honoured that you have confided in me, and I do understand, fully, how much the life you have chosen matters to you. Your sister—Oh, who knows, Daniel, if she ever thought of you or considered getting in touch with you? Did she know you had been sent off to school? Probably not. Would she have written to you there? You were ten...she was nineteen, recently married, in a strange country, cut off entirely from her family. I reckon she’d have had more than enough to contend with, don’t you?’
She waited, receiving a non-committal shrug in response, but she was not fooled. He was listening.
‘And as for your father—the man you knew doesn’t square with what I remember of him, which admittedly is very little. If he really did adore Gillian, martinet or not, he must have been devastated by her elopement, and likely he saw it, rather than as her staking a claim to her own life, as trampling on the one he had given her. The purge of all her belongings—that’s not the act of someone who doesn’t care. Did she write to him? Probably. Did he forgive her? No. There were no second chances with him.’
Her fists clenched involuntarily.
‘But that’s not his biggest crime, as far as I am concerned. What is worse by far is that he punished the innocent for his own selfishness and terrible indulgence. He punished you, sending you away, and he punished his grandchildren, by refusing to acknowledge them, denying them a family and the sanctuary here that they were in dire need of.’
She unfurled her fists and made a conscious effort to mellow her tone.
‘And he kept them from you too, Daniel. He didn’t even tell you that you had a nephew and three nieces.’
‘If you are imagining that I would have leapt at the chance to play uncle, you’re mistaken.’
‘You don’t know that. If you had known where Gillian lived, you would have written to her. He kept that from you.’
‘Kate, you are imagining a rose-coloured past that never happened. I could have sought out my sister and her offspring when my father died. I chose instead to have my lawyer draw up what was fair and equitable, what was glaringly absent from my father’s will. But I did not deliver it in person. It would have been a simple matter then, to make the trip from England to Ireland. I chose not to make it.’
Was he truly so cold, or was he intent on hurting her? It didn’t matter. She would be a fool to ignore the implications.
‘I understand why you hate this place. I understand why you are so determined never to walk in your father’s shoes. But I don’t understand why you are following his example in other ways.’
‘What the hell do you mean by that?’
‘You are punishing your nieces for your father’s crimes. I don’t care what you say about not wanting to hurt them, not having time, or it being positively dangerous for you to take the time to write the occasional letter, the fact is that you are hurting them. You’re their nearest blood relative. You are right here in England, but you are refusing point-blank even to meet them. You are simply too concerned with your own life and your own business to give a damn about theirs. Does that sound familiar?’
‘Are you suggesting that I am selfish?’
‘You’ve fought to be the man you are, and I admire you for it, but now it’s your way or nothing. I’d call that selfish, wouldn’t you?’
She felt sick. Her chest was heaving. Her face was flushed with anger. Kate, who almost never lost her temper, was almost as furious with herself as Daniel. She glowered at him.
‘Are you finished?’ he said, in a carefully polite tone. ‘May I speak?’
‘Be my guest.’
‘We have two months more to maintain our fable of being Lord and Lady Elmswood. I suggest that you take tonight to calm down and we start afresh tomorrow.’
Kate stared at him incredulously. ‘Is that it?’
‘What more is there to say? We are clearly utterly incompatible in our views. This morning must have been, as I suggested, a peculiar combination of circumstances that we need have no fear will happen again. I am glad we had this conversation, Kate. There’s no room for misunderstanding now.’
‘There most certainly is not.’
She studied him for a moment, but he met her gaze blandly. The man she had shared such life-changing intimacy with this morning was nowhere to be seen. Life-changing! She almost snorted. It certainly had been.
She turned on her heel and left him without another word.
‘We are going to High Farm,’ Kate said. ‘If you take the first turning on the right and then—’
‘I know where the High Farm is.’ But instead of taking the turn Daniel pulled the pony and trap over to the side of the road. ‘We’re supposed to be on our honeymoon. I don’t think we’re going to convince anyone if you won’t even look at me.’
She looked at him. She forced a travesty of a smile. ‘There—that is the best I can do. I’m afraid I don’t have your vast acting experience.’
‘It’s been two days and you’re still angry with me.’
She sighed heavily. ‘I’m angry with myself. You made your feelings—or rather lack of them—crystal-clear from the start. Then you did me the honour of explaining why you behave as you do a couple of days ago, and I threw it back in your face. I’m very sorry for that. You won’t change, and I don’t want you to change, but I—I have not your ability to simply forget what happened between us.’
‘I have not forgotten! What happened between us was...’ He met her gaze, and the longing to touch her, to reassure her, to tell her how much he ached with longing, was almost irresistible. ‘I have not forgotten, Kate, but it doesn’t help to dwell on it.’
‘I am not dwelling on it, nor begging for a reprise. I am simply saying that I am finding it difficult to find a way to be at ease in your company. I hadn’t realised how tactile we had become. I am having to be constantly on my guard not to—not to touch you.’ This last was said in a whisper. She was blushing painfully. ‘It makes me snappy, and most unlike myself.’
He hated seeing her like this. He felt so damned guilty, and at the same time so damned relieved, for he was exactly the same. Even now he was having to work hard not to take her hand. He hadn’t noticed how often he took her hand until he’d forced himself to stop.
‘Perhaps we shouldn’t put a complete embargo on touching—not immediately.’ He gave in to the need, taking her hand between his. ‘We took things too far and it’s given us a craving for more. We both know that would be a mistake, but to give it up immediately—no, we should try for a gradual retreat.’
‘So you’re suggesting we wean ourselves off each other slowly?’
There was a glint of humour in her eyes that had been absent for the last two days. Immensely relieved, Daniel nodded. ‘Hand-holding. A few chaste kisses. Nothing more.’
‘I don’t think we have ever kissed chastely.’
He kissed her cheek. Lavender. His body responded enthusiastically. Dear God!
‘Like that,’ Daniel said, stalwartly denying himself a second kiss. Not even on her cheek.
‘You don’t think that would be to stretch our powers of self-discipline to breaking point needlessly?’
‘I don’t. But if you would prefer to continue being on slightly frosty terms...’
‘Neither of us wants that. I’ve missed your grumpy face at the breakfast table.’
‘I’m never grumpy.’
‘You are, but I put up with it because you butter my bread so nicely.’
‘And don’t forget I know just how you like your tea. Milk first, but only a tiny splash. And you like your morning kiss not on the nape of your neck, as I first thought, but on the lips. Like this.’
It lasted only a few seconds. The simplest of kisses. A brief meeting of lips, no lingering. But they both felt it. He saw it in her eyes. The longing, and the sure and certain knowledge that it was not going to be a simple matter to wean themselves from each other.
Not simple, but it could be done. Kate was like the opium which he had occasionally been obliged to consume for form’s sake while on that mission to Hong Kong, posing as an English trader exporting Indian opium to China. He had witnessed its effects on those who fell under its spell first hand.
‘A gradual retreat, a measured dose,’ he said. ‘If we persevere, it can be done. What do you say?’
She hesitated, biting her lip, but then shrugged. ‘I have grown accustomed to you making my tea.’
The pony was cropping happily in the grass verge at the side of the road. Daniel released Kate’s hand to pick up the reins again.
‘Good. Now, let’s go and pay a visit to this model tenant you’ve been telling me all about.’
‘Are you sure you want to do this?’ Kate said as they resumed their journey. ‘I can easily call myself another day. You’ll probably find it very boring.’
‘I think Lord Elmswood should show some interest in what his wife has been doing with the land all these years, don’t you?’
‘You’re not in the least bit interested, Daniel.’
‘No, but Lord Elmswood is, and, actually, it may surprise you to know that I am intrigued.’
‘It would surprise me a great deal. In all the years I’ve been writing to you I don’t recall your once evincing any interest in the estate.’
‘I had no idea until I came here that your improvements would be so radical.’
‘How do you know I’ve been radical?’
‘You’ve forgotten—I’m a spy... I know everything. I really haven’t appreciated you nearly enough. All this work you’ve done—you should be featured as a shining example of estate management in some journal for landowners, if there is such a thing.’
‘I can’t imagine anything more embarrassing. Besides, all the work has actually been carried out by others. All I’ve done is supervise.’
‘You know that’s nonsense. You are far too modest.’
‘Would you like me better if I was forever boasting about my achievements?’
‘I like you exactly as you are.’
She smiled uncertainly. ‘If you hadn’t married me I’d probably be eking out a living in a cottage, with a cat to keep my company.’
‘And I would be—Oh, Lord knows. It doesn’t bear thinking of. Our marriage has made everyone a good deal happier—me, you, and the people of Elmswood.’
He turned the pony into the farmyard and Kate brushed aside the question of whether or not she was actually happy.
‘You can tie up at the gatepost here,’ she said, jumping out of the trap.
Daniel followed her, looking around him with a slight frown on his face. He was dressed in country clothes today, boots and breeches, with a coat and hat, though no gloves. A cow lowed in a big new barn. Chickens were scratching in a desultory way in the caked mud.
‘English chickens are so much fatter than African or Indian chickens,’ Daniel said. ‘And they seem to have a great deal more feathers.’
‘They need them here in the winter. I suppose they can make do with less in the tropics.’
‘I hadn’t thought of that. I can’t get used to the countryside being so green, or the way the fields here are marked out so clearly and the hedgerows are awash with colour. I’m used to a palette that consists of shades of brown beneath a stark, blinding blue.’
‘Be careful, Daniel, you’re sounding almost as if you prefer the English countryside.’
He secured the reins on a gatepost. ‘I’ve never had anything against England. At this time of year it’s quite beautiful. Here comes your farmer and his wife.’
‘Edward. And Emma. How lovely to see you.’ Kate smiled reassuringly, for the couple emerging from the farmhouse were eyeing Daniel askance. ‘May I present my husband, Lord Elmswood? This is Mr and Mrs Styles, Daniel.’
Emma dropped a deep curtsey. Edward—reluctantly, it seemed to Kate—was about to make a bow when Daniel held out his hand.
‘How do you do, Mr Styles? It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.’
‘My lord. A pleasure.’
Though his face said otherwise, Kate thought, surprised.
‘May we offer you a cup of tea, my lord, or a mug of ale?’ Emma asked, casting her husband a reproving look.
‘His Lordship will be wanting to inspect the farm,’ Edward said. ‘Doubtless you’ll be wanting to be reassured that our modern methods are not compromising your profit, my lord. I did not have the pleasure of meeting your father, but I believe he had a reputation for being conservative when it came to the running of the estates’
‘I am not—’
But Edward gave Daniel no time to say what he was or was not. ‘I know that Kate here—that is, Lady Elmswood—has been investing heavily, but I think you’ll find we are reaping the benefits of her foresight—quite literally. It would be a shame—no, it would be a tragedy—to return to the old ways.’
‘Edward, my husband doesn’t—’ Kate began.
‘Her husband has no intentions of interfering with the management of the estate,’ Daniel said tersely. ‘I am here only as an interested observer, I assure you. I take a natural pride in my wife’s achievements but she, as I’m sure you already know, is extremely modest. So much so that she has generously attributed those achievements to you.’
‘Oh.’ Edward’s cheeks turned a dull shade of red. ‘I beg your pardon, Lord Elmswood. Only I thought—all the tenant farmers were worried, you see—that with your being absent for so long you might have inherited your father’s rather outmoded view of the way things should be done.’
‘I admit to being largely ignorant on the subject—which is why I’m interested in hearing about the changes.’
‘Well, now...’ Edward’s brow cleared. ‘I’d be more than happy to tell you, if you really are interested, though I’m not sure where to start. Would you like to hear about the wheat?’
‘Very much,’ Daniel said, to his credit looking enthusiastic.
Kate bit back a smile. ‘Edward is a scientific farmer. He has been experimenting with different types of fertiliser over the last five years, using guano, which is—Actually, it is the deposit left by seabirds, which is imported from Peru.’
‘Peru!’ Daniel exclaimed, seemingly genuinely startled. ‘In South America?’
‘Have you been there on your travels, my lord? No? Well, perhaps you’ll go exploring there next and see if you can get a deal for us with the guano. We’ve been comparing it with potash, which is the ashes of elm, and also with bone meal.’
‘Where, dare I ask, does that come from?’
‘The knacker’s yard,’ Edward told him, grinning. ‘There’s some don’t like it, ploughing the ground-up bones of horses into the soil that those same horses might have ploughed, but for me it’s a natural cycle.’
‘And what has this to do with wheat?’
‘Simple, my lord, it’s all about yield. Of course it’s not only down to the fertiliser we put in the soil. Scientific farming is a whole combination of things. There’s crop rotation...’
Kate watched, amused, as Edward launched into a lengthy explanation of what was obviously a subject very close to his heart, though she was soon drawn in, reminding him of failures and successes, of comical misunderstandings, and of the resistance they had met with some of the neighbouring farmers, who had worried their own crops might be contaminated.
‘But Edward’s success speaks for itself,’ she finished, with a glowing smile. ‘Though there are still a few die-hards, stubbornly sticking to traditional methods, there are more who have started to follow where he leads and to see the results too. He is an acknowledged leader in the field now—if you’ll pardon the pun. He has even been asked to speak at agricultural fairs as far afield as Somerset. We are very proud of him here at Elmswood.’
‘Thanks to you, for giving me the opportunity, Kate—and for letting me have the farm. I’m not from these parts, my lord, and there were several men wanting this tenancy when it became vacant. But your good wife had the foresight that other landowners lack, in being keen to encourage experimentation. My Emma and I never forget how lucky we are to have been given the chance. You must be very proud of her.’
‘And grateful,’ Daniel agreed, slanting her a smile, ‘I am more than happy to leave the running of the estate in her capable hands, for I have neither her expertise nor her passion.’
‘Well,’ Edward said, smiling shyly, ‘I’ll be honest, my lord, and tell you that I’m very glad to hear that.’
‘I’m so sorry,’ Kate said two hours later, as they sat together on the bench in the shade of the terrace. ‘I didn’t intend for you to have to listen to a lecture on modern farming techniques. How tedious for you. I shouldn’t have suggested we call. I should have known that Edward would get carried away.’
‘I wasn’t bored—though the subject doesn’t hold quite the level of fascination for me that it does for you.’
‘There is a limit to how much discussion even I wish to have about ground-up bones and seabird droppings. Just between ourselves, I’m not hugely interested in the day-to-day business of farming. I enjoy the challenge of planning a strategy and implementing it—just as I have enjoyed the challenge of restoring the gardens here, and the house, but now it’s over...’
‘Don’t tell me you’re finding your precious Elmswood tedious?’
‘Not tedious, exactly, and it’s not as if I don’t have enough to do, but...’
‘You need a fresh challenge. Is that what you’re saying?’
‘What I’m saying is that you have unsettled me. I don’t mean our—what we...’ Kate took a sip of her iced lemonade. ‘I am not referring to our making love. I mean that your presence has made me look at myself and Elmswood in a different light.’
‘You would probably have started to do so regardless. Estelle would have fled your little nest of her own volition sooner or later, even if I had not been forced to play the cuckoo who usurped her.’
Kate giggled. ‘You say the strangest things sometimes, but you’re right. Estelle would have left. Being here alone might not necessarily suit me, but it would have taken me a good deal longer to recognise that possibility—or at least to admit it to myself—if I’d been alone and not had you for company.’
‘Temporarily, remember. This comfortable nest you have made for yourself is yours for as long as you want it.’
‘Into my dotage, you mean? I could grow old and fat...’
‘And possibly adopt a few cats for company.’
‘Cats adopt people, not the other way round. I would certainly be comfortable...but would I be happy, do you think?’
‘You have been up until now, haven’t you?’
‘Yes.’ She drained her glass. ‘Yes, I have. And I shall be happy again, I’m sure.’
‘You don’t sound very convinced.’
Kate shrugged. ‘It doesn’t matter.’
‘You mean it’s none of my business?’
‘I suppose I do. That’s what you want, isn’t it? For us to go back to how we were? Exchanging polite notes every other month that say next to nothing?’
‘No.’ Daniel poured himself another glass of lemonade. ‘I know we can’t do that.’
‘What, then? Do you think our marriage has served its purpose?’
‘Kate!’
‘It’s an obvious question, wouldn’t you say? Elmswood doesn’t need me. I could easily hand the management over to Oliver.’
‘No, not him.’
‘Why on earth not? Why don’t you like him?’
‘I don’t have any feelings at all for him.’
‘That’s not true. You don’t even like to pass the time of day with him in the morning.’
‘That’s one of the things I don’t like about him. He’s always there...hovering in the background!’ Daniel exclaimed.
‘Oh, for goodness’ sake! He’s our head gardener. He works in the gardens. Of course he’s always there.’
‘No, I mean—Oh, I don’t know. There’s something about him that unsettles me. But you know him, and I don’t, so if you want to train him up as your replacement, go ahead. No one is forcing you to stay here if you don’t want to, least of all me. You’ve more than fulfilled your side of our bargain. And if it’s a question of divorce...’
Kate’s glass slid from her hand and broke on the terrace paving. ‘You want a divorce?’
Tears sprang to her eyes. She leaned over to pick up the shards of glass, but Daniel put a restraining hand on her arm.
‘Leave it. I’ll clear it up in a minute.’
‘A divorce! Won’t it be expensive? To say nothing of the scandal?’
‘I don’t give a damn about either. Look at me, Kate.’
‘No.’ She sniffed. ‘I don’t know why I’m crying.’
‘I don’t want a divorce.’ He put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her towards him. ‘I thought you did. And if it’s what you want, then—’
‘I don’t. I know that our marriage is—well, it’s unconventional, to say the least, but I’ve always considered myself married to you, Daniel, for better or worse. For always.’ She was too comfortable, nestled against him, so she pushed herself upright. ‘But whether I remain in Elmswood or not is a different matter. You married me to be caretaker for your heir, whoever that may turn out to be. I’ve done enough to ensure that Oliver or whoever you choose to employ can do that job now. When you return to foreign service I don’t want to remain here.’
‘You sound very certain about that.’
‘I do...’ she said, much struck. ‘It’s one of those occasions, I think, when you don’t know something is true until you say it. I am certain I don’t want to remain here. I’m sorry.’
‘You’ve no reason to be sorry. I am sorry. I thought you loved this place.’
‘I do, but—Oh, I don’t want it to be my entire world any longer. And that is your fault. Or rather Sir Marcus’s, for plucking me from here and opening my eyes. Must we talk of this now?’
‘We’ll need to discuss it in a lot more detail at some point. I have written to my lawyer, asking him to track down my heir. If only Eloise’s child had been a boy it would have been an simple matter. Perhaps her next offspring will be the appropriate sex.’
‘She’s only just had little Tilda, and her son—if she has one—would inherit his father’s title.’
‘Well, whoever it turns out to be, once the lawyer has found him I can make a will and sort out a settlement for you.’
Fresh tears sprang to her eyes. ‘I don’t want a settlement.’
‘Now you’re being quite ridiculous. You’ve earned it.’
‘But won’t we—? Are you saying that we—? When you go, Daniel, will I never hear from you again?’
‘I don’t know.’ He reached for her, and then changed his mind. ‘You might meet someone else you want to marry, in which case my lawyer will need to do whatever it takes to rid you of me.’
‘Stop that! I have one husband already. I don’t need or want another. Please can we stop talking about this now? What we really should be discussing is the garden party.’
Daniel heaved a theatrical sigh. ‘I think I’d rather talk about making a will.’
‘How much notice do you think we will need to give?’
‘As little as possible. Then we’ll kill two birds with one stone—there are bound to be people who won’t be able to make it, and Sir Marcus will not have to write to me to remind me of my obligations.’
‘Oh, my goodness, do you really think he’s keeping an eye on us? How?’
‘Perhaps that damned St James is his man on the inside,’ Daniel said. ‘It would explain why he’s forever appearing out of nowhere.’
‘You don’t really imagine...?’
‘No, I don’t. Come on, let’s start with a list of guests. What about your Mr Styles and his wife?’
‘Isn’t the party intended for the local gentry?’
‘All the people you don’t mix with, you mean? I see no reason why we shouldn’t do a little mixing of our own. We shall be the radical Lord and Lady Elmswood.’
‘Are you serious? I rather like the idea, but there are some who might take offence.’
‘I doubt they’ll be offended enough to refuse, however, and miss out on the opportunity to inspect us in our own environment, so to speak.’
‘You make us sound like specimens in a jar.’
‘Not a bad analogy. But at least we’ll be specimens floating in our jar together.’
‘How lovely. I shall look forward to that.’
‘I wonder if we could ask Phoebe to put together a menu for the buffet?’
‘Won’t it be easier if you don’t tell my nieces about the party? Then they won’t feel left out.’
‘But what if they hear from someone else? Then they’d be hurt. Whereas if I let them know and explain—Though what I am to say, Daniel, that won’t be hurtful, I have no idea. It will look as if you are choosing to meet anyone and everyone save your own flesh and blood.’
‘That is because I don’t give a damn about anyone and everyone,’ he snapped.
‘So you do give a damn about them?’
Daniel pushed his chair back, draining his coffee as he stood. ‘The only thing I give a damn about is reassuring Sir Marcus that I am playing ball. The details I am happy to leave in your more than capable hands. Excuse me.’