We had fallen asleep with both twin beds pushed together—Cecile, Vonetta with her cast, Fern, and I. Somewhere in the shifting to get a better sleeping position I felt my mother’s absence. The space she left seemed extra-large. After so much warmth the bed was suddenly cool. I sprang up. Cecile had on her pants. My father’s pants. She slung her drawstring bag over her shoulder and was leaving.
I followed her as she moved around carefully, without big, heavy footsteps. Cecile went through the kitchen to avoid everyone sleeping in the living room. She opened the back door and slipped outside.
“Go back, Delphine,” she said.
“You’re leaving? Where are you going?”
“Home,” she said. “Oakland.”
“But Vonetta’s not better yet.”
“She been found. There’s a house full of y’all to take care of her.”
“She wants you.”
“She’s got me. But I can’t be here.”
I thought she was talking about the South. That even though they had taken down the “White Only” signs, you still had to know your place. I thought that’s what she meant.
I said, “It’s not Oakland, I guess.”
She said, “You got that right. It’s not Oakland. Now, go back inside, Delphine.”
“But why not let Uncle Darnell drive you?”
“I need to walk,” Cecile said.
“There’s Klan out there,” I told her.
“There’s Klan everywhere,” Cecile said. “You just have to see them.”
I knew she’d said something truthful and important, but that kind of truth wasn’t on my mind. I said, “I’ll worry you’re out there in the night.”
“You’re twelve, Delphine. I’m grown. Go and be with your sisters. Lie down. Dream a dream. Say good-bye to anyone who’d care and thank everyone who was kind to me. Be good, Delphine. And take care of yourself. Take care of you.”
She wrapped her arms around me, then kissed me on the top of my head, probably to let me know she was taller and that I had a ways to go before catching up. I watched her leave. And so did Caleb. This time he didn’t sing his song, but he let out a whimper.
I knew my mother was grown but I couldn’t let her go into the night, walking up the road like she was on the west side of Oakland. I went inside and found Uncle Darnell and Pa asleep next to each other, which meant Mrs. was sleeping with Big Ma in her room. I bent down and said, “Cecile left. She’s walking down the road.”
Pa turned over. “I’ll get the Wildcat.”
But Uncle Darnell sat up quickly and said a firm “No,” like he was the older brother. “I’ll get the truck. I’ll take her and sit with her at the airport.”
Pa started to say something, but Uncle Darnell said it again. “No, Lou. Stay here.” And he was gone.