Chapter 4: A Lady for Nicol

As the only son of Count Ascart, after graduating from the Academy of Magic, I, Nicol, had to prepare to succeed my father while helping him with his work. He had taught me most of the important things, and my education as future count was proceeding perfectly... except for one thing.

Despite having reached my 18th birthday, I still had no fiancée. This was a problem because I required a wife in order to become the new head of the Ascart family. Most nobles enter their engagements around the time of their social debut, and it was rare for them to wait this long.

It was not that I had trouble finding candidates; there were a considerable number of ladies who would fancy becoming my wife. But the source of the problem was none other than my indecisive self.

My hesitation was rooted in my unrequited feelings for Katarina, friend of my younger sister and fiancée of my childhood friend Prince Jeord.

I first met her when accompanying my sister Sophia to the Claes manor, where I fell in love with her beautiful eyes and innocent smile. The more time I spent around her, the stronger my feelings became. But I could not make any advances towards her, because she was still the fiancée of my own friend — who actually loved her passionately.

My dear sister had realized how I felt towards Katarina, and, as expected of her, suggested that I make a move. I did not know whether to label Sophia as courageous or reckless. I tried to explain to her why I could do no such thing, but she would rebut my logic on the basis that “stealing love interests is the next big thing.” She would then corroborate her theory by recommending a series of books to me, whose titles, always including words such as “stolen love,” “betrayal,” and “romantic schemes,” caused me some concern.

That is why I was still unengaged, bound by a love that I must keep secret.

My parents as well, be it because they had noticed my feelings or because of their leisurely personalities, had not felt the need to pressure me into any matchmaking meeting, as would be the standard for a nobleman of my age.

However, after my social debut and my graduation from the academy, as more and more people began questioning me about my fiancée whenever I was out with Father, he and Mother began feeling anxious over the situation. Among the nobles I had met during official Ascart affairs, some, despite being no older than I, already had a family and even children of their own.

I realized that I could not eternally wallow in my forbidden love and started taking the matter of engagement seriously. I asked Father to make arrangements: I wanted to meet any lady who was suitable to marry into a count’s family and who would agree to becoming my wife.

“...Are you sure about this?” asked Father with a vexed expression.

I took this as evidence that my parents did know about my love for Katarina after all. But I had made up my mind.

“Yes. I am sure,” I replied with determination.

A few days after I had talked about it with Father, the first few meetings with ladies had already been decided.

“You’re so popular that picking out a candidate was the hardest part!”

He said that half-jokingly, but I was relieved in finding that there were still any candidates at all. He found some potential fiancées and arranged the time and date for when we should meet — to my utmost gratitude.

I finally met the first one. A cute, collected girl, who greeted me... and then froze, red-faced.

What am I supposed to do now?

This was not even the first time that something like this had happened. Every once in a while, I would meet someone who would react in that way upon seeing my face. Normally I would borrow the help of one of my friends better versed in conversation than I... but today, I was alone.

I must do something. Why am I such a terribly poor speaker?

I have no issue talking about work or reciting lines in official settings, but chatting in private, and with a girl no less, was completely different and much more difficult. The both of us were standing in silence in front of each other, unable to say anything.

Perhaps I should have had some other acquaintance accompany me today... The servants are still in the room, in a faraway corner where they cannot hear us... but they would never enter our conversation.

My friends, knowing how bad I am at casual chatting, usually took the lead and provided the topics so that we wouldn’t fall into silence. Katarina, especially, had the widest array of subject matters. She could turn any trivial matter into something interesting, and just looking at her speaking passionately was enough to make me happy.

If only she were here... I thought for a moment before reprimanding myself. The whole point of these meetings was to forget Katarina and move forward. What was I doing, still thinking of her?

I mustered all of my determination and stared the girl in front of me in the eyes. She blushed even redder and even started trembling ever so slightly. Was she not feeling well? More than once, when she was still a child, Sophia had looked like that because of a fever.

I started worrying about the girl and stood up from my seat to walk closer to her. “Are you alright?”

She nodded in silence, but her face had gone from rosy to pure scarlet. It looked like a fever, and a rather bad one at that. I raised my hand and placed it on her forehead. It wasn’t as hot as I had expected, but warm nonetheless.

I realized what I had just done, and— Curses! I was so worried about her that I neglected my manners. I measured her fever as I would have done to my sister, but touching a lady without permission is inadmissible for a man.

I apologized at once. “I am very sorry. I should n...”

She interrupted my sentence, not by speaking herself but by loudly falling backwards, bringing her chair with her. This surprised me, but I still somehow managed to catch her in my arms before she reached the ground.

“A-Are you alright?”

Convinced that the girl was not feeling well, I tried to get a better look at her face while still holding onto her.

“...yeee...”

Her weird moan was quickly followed by her losing consciousness and starting to bleed from her nose.

Did the fever get that much worse? I must bring her to the doctor!

I brought the girl into another room so that she could be examined by the doctor, who, luckily, did not find anything wrong with her.

However, when she regained her senses, the girl went back to her home with the speed of someone running away from danger. Before I could make any decision, she had already refused me. Apparently the reason was: “I can’t meet with him again, it’s too embarrassing.”

And so ended my first matchmaking meeting, in which I learned just how difficult finding a fiancée could be.

My first matchmaking meeting was less than a success, but I decided that I would do my best in one of the others that Father had already scheduled for me.

The next lady I would meet was a meek, calm-looking girl. She managed an elegant, well-rehearsed greeting without showing signs of blushing or freezing up like the one before her had. She also took the lead in conversation, so that we wouldn’t have to endure any awkward silence.

We talked about the ball she had attended a few days ago, about tea parties, and more — or rather, she talked while I nodded and gave an occasional remark, as that was what my speaking skills amounted to, but I felt like the meeting was going well nonetheless.

She was an almost stereotypical noble lady. She had well-groomed hair, fair skin, and the unblemished hands of someone who had never worked a day in her life.

Nothing like Katarina, whose skin had been made quite a few shades darker by working in the fields, and whose hair was often carelessly shoved into a bandana. Handling the hoe had also made her palms tougher than those of the average lady.

And yet, she was so endearing...

No! Stop thinking of her! Concentrate on the girl who’s right in front of you!

“And the couple dancing at the ball was so wonderful!” said the girl right in front of me, whose enthusiasm I only half-heartedly returned with, “I see... wonderful...”

A normal lady, during a ball, turned her attention to things like these. Katarina, on the other hand, only had eyes for the buffet and its meats, salads, and desserts. She would describe the dishes with so much passion that one couldn’t help wanting to try them out.

...I’m thinking of Katarina again! To no fault of the potential fiancée in front of me, I found myself comparing her to Katarina again and again.

My second trial date was over, and, while it had gone better than the first, my inability to focus on the lady in front of me left me feeling guilty. Despite not receiving an outright refusal of any further meeting, I did not feel particularly motivated to initiate one myself.

Two more ladies came after the first two... but with similar results. I couldn’t focus on them as much as I dwelled on the differences they had with Katarina, who monopolized all my thoughts and interest.

While I was torn between the anxiety of having to find a spouse and the dread of withstanding another unfruitful encounter, something happened. Katarina’s brother, Keith, went missing.

Always one to leap before she looked, she set off to find him, accompanied by Jeord. My determination to leave that love behind me faltered as I found that the thought of Katarina traveling with her fiancé — not just the two of them, but still! — made me uncomfortable. I was likewise relieved when, coming back successfully from their quest, the two seemed not to be any closer than they had been before departing.

At this rate, will I ever be able to marry?

Dubious as ever, I walked into the fifth and last matchmaking meeting that Father had arranged.

When I entered the room, she was already sitting there, waiting for me.

This surprised me, not only because this had never been the case in the previous four meetings, but also because, as I had heard, men were expected to be the ones waiting for the other party to show up in meetings like these.

But the differences did not end there. The girl who stood up to greet me once I entered the room gave off a strong, resilient impression — a stark contrast with the timid, subdued aura of the ladies I had met so far. If I had to compare her to one of my female acquaintances, I would say that she resembled Mary Hunt.

Right after we exchanged the expected greetings, she followed with a startling line. “Do not worry, Master Ascart. I have no intention of marrying anyone. I only came here because my father insisted I do.”

I was baffled by what she said and by the way she said it, wearing the lukewarm smile of someone commenting about the weather. As I froze in shock, she relaxed by sipping on the tea that had been prepared for us on the table.

“You said not to worry... I understand that you are not serious about this meeting, but... why would that keep me from worrying?” I finally asked her after the shock subsided.

“But of course, because you too have no intention of marrying, it would seem.”

“...Why?” I questioned her abruptly, puzzled by her matter-of-fact words. Did I look uninterested? That couldn’t be. After all, I had personally asked for the meetings to be arranged so that I could find a fiancée.

“I have heard from those you met before me. They all said that you did not look excited about the meetings themselves, and that, when they were over, you never asked for a second one.”

“...”

I had no idea I had given them that impression... but it makes sense. After all, I spent more time thinking of Katarina than of the girls sitting in front of me.

“Was that not on purpose?” she asked, in response to my apparent confusion.

“...Indeed not. I attended the meetings willingly and eagerly, or at least I told myself as much.”

“Women are much more perceptive than you may give them credit for. They would have no trouble telling whether or not you were truly interested.”

I see. Women are perceptive enough to see that I still have mixed feelings about this. But if so...

“Will I ever be able to marry at this rate?”

The words burst out of my mouth. I would normally never have let my tongue slip like that in front of someone I had just met... I must have been tired.

As I fell into an awkward silence, she looked at me with a newfound light in her eyes, which suggested a keen interest that had not been there until now.

“What do you mean by that?” she asked.

And so I, persuaded by her look of curiosity, ended up explaining my romantic troubles to someone I had just met. I did not tell her the name of my heroine, but I told her of how I had loved her for years despite her engagement to another man, and of how I am trying to move on and marry someone else, as is expected of me.

Admitting to something like this during a matchmaking meeting would normally be unthinkable, but I had been lamenting it alone, unable to disclose my secret romantic feelings to any of my friends. Maybe I had always waited for someone whom I could tell my story to.

While I spoke, she looked at me with a serious, thoughtful expression until I finished. Then she asked me, “Why would you have to give up?”

Her candid expression and unexpected question made me freeze in place once again, but she did not stop there.

“She is only engaged to another man... What of it? Or do they actually love each other?”

Only...? This girl is truly something.

“...Well, her fiancé does love her passionately.”

“But what about her? Does she love him?”

“...I do not think she does, at least for now.”

“I see, so your rival’s love is unrequited. If so, then where is the problem? Just go and take her from him!”

“...”

It’s like hearing my sister talk... Maybe they read the same kind of novels.

“Her fiancé is also a friend of mine, which makes the idea of taking her from him downright abnormal,” I said, dejected, as I had to Sophia many times before.

“Stealing love interests is the next big thing!” she would then invariably reply, enthusiastically detailing her crooked ideas based on fiction. All those uncomely romance tales had tainted her poor soul...

But that is not what the girl in front of me did. Instead, she started giggling.

“Abnormal? What would you know about being normal? With that face and that seductive demeanor winning you fans left and right, women and men alike... You are just as they say.”

Seductive demeanor... Both my sister and my friends often used those words when describing me. They said that I was able to bewitch the people around me to an incredible extent. “Ridiculously seductive,” as Sophia put it.

At first I did not believe them. I was convinced that being pursued by complete strangers or even being nearly kidnapped, as had happened to me time and again since I was a child, was the norm.

As I later found out, this was actually abnormal. I had come to terms with that fact... but the girl’s “as they say” had made me curious.

“Have you heard about me from someone?”

“Indeed,” she replied. “The others in the student council often talk about you, Sophia above all...”

“You are in the student council at the Academy of Magic?!” My loud voice betrayed my surprise at her answer.

“Yes. I am positive that when we exchanged written introductions before our meeting, mine said as much. As expected, you barely read it at all, did you?”

“...”

I had actually read the whole thing, or at least tried to — the worse I felt about this whole engagement charade, the less anything I read would make it into my head. As my reading of the introductions had been less than thorough... I could not blame her for believing that I didn’t care about finding a fiancée.

But, if she is a member of the student council... then she must also know Jeord and Katarina. I shouldn’t have told her the truth... I considered asking her to keep our conversation secret, but I then realized that this would only make her more suspicious.

While I was busy worrying, she kept on talking leisurely. “After hearing so much about you, I wanted to meet you in person. But Sophia never mentioned that you were looking to be engaged... Did you keep it a secret from her?”

“...Yes.”

I did. Had I not, she would have opposed the idea and everything would have become even more troublesome.

“Of course... If she knew it, she would have probably done all in her power to stop you.”

Indeed. But how did she know this? “How?”

“Because there is someone that Sophia hopes will become your wife.”

My very short question had been enough to prompt the correct answer, but... to think that Sophia was speaking about things like these to other people... I’d hoped that, at least, she had the decency not to disclose the name of that someone.

“She is always singing your praises to Katarina Claes!” said the girl with a smile, at which point I felt like passing out onto the table in front of me.

Sophia... do you have any idea of the impact of what you have divulged? And at the academy! Where anyone could hear!

Despairing, I was still thinking of how to scold my foolish sister next time I met her when the girl in front of me offered a word in her favor.

“Sophia admires Katarina so much that she would love to see her married to Nicol,” she said, as if to excuse Sophia’s advertisement of her single brother as something cute. She was trying to make it sound less embarrassing for me, but hearing a younger girl having to choose her words so as not to hurt me only embarrassed me even further.

If we keep talking about this, she’s going to figure out that my love interest is Katarina herself... I have to switch topics.

“Earlier you said that you have no interest in finding a fiancé. Why is that?” I said, trying to divert her attention in a rather heavy-handed way. After all, I had been talking for so long that I hadn’t heard much about her.

And first of all, why didn’t she have a fiancé to begin with? She was from a high-ranking family, had magical aptitude, was talented enough to be in the student council. And to top it all off, she was a good-looking girl. She surely must have received a few marriage proposals already... Is she also in love with someone already engaged? I thought, but the truth was different.

“I do not want to depend on anyone,” she said proudly.

I was surprised, and I didn’t understand what that had to do with anything.

“...And that means that you will not marry?”

“Of course! If I married, I would become some noble’s wife, and nothing more.”

My suspicions were now confirmed. This girl was a bit... unique.

“...And would that be a bad thing? Being a noble’s wife?”

“Being a noble’s wife and dedicating oneself to one’s family and household are very respectable things in themselves. But that would be a life spent in one’s home. I want to go out to work!” she said fiercely.

“...Go out to work... like a man?”

“Yes! I have little interest in caring for a household from home. I want to work like a man!”

In recent years, the relative wealth of our country had given women the opportunity to work just as men would. The Magical Ministry, one of the most important organizations in the country, was even actively recruiting women and giving them positions of responsibility. Nevertheless, to nobles, who were extremely conservative in their ways, women were supposed to stay home with their children.

Most aristocratic ladies had but two choices: marry into a man’s house, or have a man marry into theirs. This was certainly the case for this young lady, as a girl of so high of a rank working outside her home was almost unheard of.

“But my parents oppose this choice... They are pressuring me to marry as soon as possible, and I know how unrealistic my dream is.”

“If you know, then why...?” Society would not look kindly on her for choosing to work like a man.

“There is someone I look up to. She worked hard and now holds an important role in the Ministry. I want to become like her.”

A hard-working woman with an important role in the Ministry? I was friends with someone like that, but this person was always tired and complaining about her work... It must be someone else.

I removed the thought before the girl in front of me could catch on, and she kept on passionately talking about her idol. “She is not from a particularly high-ranking family, and I had worried that since I am, I could not join the Ministry. But recently I heard that Katarina Claes is going to set a precedent, which gives me hope.”

Despite my efforts to change the topic, Katarina’s name had come up again... Indeed, it had just been decided that, after graduating from the academy, she would start working in the Ministry.

However, she had a familiar of darkness at her bidding, and a certain superior of my friend had probably insisted that she be hired. Most likely, Katarina’s stay at the Ministry was planned to only last until her marriage with Jeord. I had never heard of a married noble woman holding a job.

“That is true, but I think that there are special motivations behind her being hired, and that it will only be for a limited period of time.” I wanted to tell her of these facts so that she would not have unrealistic expectations, which would then hurt her once betrayed.

“I know, but I will not give up. I will do everything I can to succeed,” she said unfaltering, her eyes flaming with determination. Her expression proved to me how serious she was.

And at the same time, I felt envious of the courage to follow one’s ambitions despite what society might think. My ambition, my love — I was trying to sacrifice them for the sake of my household, struggling to find a lady to become engaged to.

The gaze of that brave girl was blinding in its fierceness, but her lips then curled into an allusive smile. “I think that you, too, should not give up. Go to the girl you love and speak your feelings to her. If you do not, how will you ever know whether your love is requited?”

Far from having forgotten the initial point of our discussion, she had now completely returned to it, and, if her grin were to be believed, she had been planning to do so all along.

“Neither Keith nor Mary are going to give up anytime soon, so why should you?” she went on, showing that she knew not only about my love, but also about that of her friends, who both happened to be in love with the same Katarina Claes. Her real calculating personality had shown through the facade of delusional ambition.

“But I am an adult now, and I shoulder the responsibility of succeeding my father as count,” I said with a sigh. She already knew everything. There was no point in hiding the truth anymore.

“There are many adults who are not engaged, and I do not see why you should have to be forced to for the sake of your family’s title,” she responded dryly. This girl was not a bit unique. She was very unique.

“I know that there are some who are still not engaged despite being of age, but marrying to preserve one’s title is the norm for nobles.”

“...Such an antiquated way of thinking.”

As her words hit me once again, I realized that girl showed absolutely no restraint in choosing them.

“And... a lot of people who are forced into finding a partner will ultimately be unhappy with their marriages,” she continued.

“Forced into an unhappy marriage...”

Her grave expression reminded me of the incident that had taken place almost one year before, involving a friend of mine, who was a hard-working member of the student council.

The person of the center of it all was the wife of a marquess who had been cast away by her husband, and who lost her mind and eventually began meddling with Dark Magic. I did not personally know anyone in an unhappy marriage, but in our aristocratic society, where couples were routinely put together for strictly political reasons as had happened with the marquess, stories like that were common.

“And that is why I say that you should not marry against your will. Think also of the poor wife whose husband loves someone else.”

This point of hers was the one that most resonated with me. I had only considered my feelings, not those of the girl who would become my wife. Of course I intended to love and respect her, but... would I really be able to do it? My lack of interest in them was apparent to the girls after we had met only one single time...

“...You are right. I have been only thinking of me and my feelings, completely ignoring the other party. I would not have realized it without your help. Thank you,” I told her, bowing my head in gratitude.

“As long as you have realized it, there is no problem. And you did not only think about yourself. You also had your family in mind, after all,” she said somewhat awkwardly.

My family? Of course... My parents brought me up with love and kindness, and I deeply respect them. If I wanted to marry and succeed Father as count as fast as possible, it was also for their sake. But...

“That, too, is fundamentally for my own sake. It was I who wanted to make them feel happy and relieved,” I said to the girl, who started giggling again.

“You really are as diligent as they say! But does your family really want you to meet lady after lady in a rush to marry?”

“...Well...” I don’t know. When I first told Father about my intentions, he had indeed seemed vexed.

“Your priority should be confirming that with them, should it not?” she said with a smile, bringing an end to that discussion.

We then kept talking a while longer about the academy and other harmless topics before parting ways, because, as she said, “meetings too long or too short both cause their own problems.” She was obviously much more used to matchmaking dates than I was.

I raised a hand to call on the servants, who were far away from us. But before they could reach us, she spoke again.

“You are keeping your love a secret from everyone, are you not? If you ever feel the need to talk about it, I will be most glad.” Her smile had a hint of malice, like a child whose prank was successful.

“...”

I stumbled in finding a response, and, having put her mask of noble innocence back on, she said her farewells with the elegance of a proper lady.

Thus ended my meeting with this very unique girl.

My peculiar encounter with that girl had made me reflect on many things, so as soon as it was over, I spoke to my father.

“I’m sorry for doing this despite having asked for it in the first place, but I would like to take a break from the matchmaking meetings for a while.”

He looked relieved, and said “Of course! You’re still young, and there’s no rush. I’m sure that one day you’ll meet the right person.”

His reaction was so unlike him that I had to make sure.

“Will that really be alright? Shouldn’t I look for a wife to succeed you as count as soon as possible?”

“Is that what worried you? There’s no need to sacrifice yourself that much for something so petty in this day and age. If you don’t care for the title, we can always adopt someone from our relatives to inherit it,” he replied with a heartfelt laugh. Then he concluded, “Nicol, you really are every bit as diligent as your mother!”

After how much I had worried about having this conversation, the actual turn of events proved disappointingly anticlimactic. That girl was right. What my family really wanted was different than what I thought.

I really respected my father, an individual talented enough to be chosen as the king’s counselor... but the laid-back view he shared with me today showed that he actually had a far laxer personality than I thought.

I had always wondered who Sophia had gotten her act-first-think-later mentality from, but perhaps I had finally found the culprit...

I was going to my room after having spoken with Father, but Sophia stood menacingly in the hallway, blocking my path.

“I heard that you were meeting potential fiancées! Why wouldn’t you tell me?!” she said, visibly angered. She had heard about my matchmaking meetings from somewhere.

Was it the girl from today? But we only just parted ways. That would be surprising.

I asked her how she found out, and she told me that, worried about my recent unusual behavior, she had gone to Father for an explanation. Knowing how soft he was with her, that fact that he immediately told her the truth came as no surprise.

“Well...?” she said resolutely, as if threatening to block the hallway until I gave her all the details, which I promptly did.

I told her how I had felt the pressure of having to find a wife in order to succeed Father as count, especially because I had received several remarks about my lack of a fiancée since I had started working.

Sophia listened carefully until I was done talking, before commenting in the same way as Father had: “You really are diligent, huh!”

They resemble each other so much...

“Father told me the same thing. And also, that I could just wait for the right person. You wouldn’t expect a count to say something like that...” I said.

For some reason, my sister seemed surprised. “What? You expected Father, of all people, to tell you to marry for the family’s sake?”

“What do you mean?”

“How could he say something like that, when he himself fell in love at first sight with an already engaged girl and then took her from her fiancé?”

This was the most surprising thing I had heard today, if not one of the most surprising things I had heard in my entire life. So much so that I couldn’t utter a response.

“You... You didn’t know?”

She had said it so innocently that I became dizzy from the shock.

“Wait, is that true? Did Father really take Mother from...?” Saying it myself made me feel even worse.

Father... taking her from her fiancé...

The two of them had always been so close with each other that I had been embarrassed to watch them as a child. But I would have never thought that their past could be made into one of Sophia’s romance-triangle novels.

“Yes. Mother was engaged to another man, but Father fell in love with her and went to Grandfather to ask for her hand. Grandfather refused and told him ‘I’ll let you marry my daughter the day that you become counselor to the King!’ Of course he was only taunting him, but Father actually went and became counselor. So Grandfather admitted that he was worthy of Mother.”

I did know that he rose through the ranks incredibly quickly, but I had never suspected that Father had become counselor so that he could marry Mother. Then again — I’m feeling even dizzier — of all possible reasons, actually... wait, more importantly...

“...Is that common knowledge? Why have I just heard this story for the first time?” I had spent eighteen years in this household and not once had I heard of my parents’ romantic history.

“Naturally, Father took all the precautions he could so that the story wouldn’t get out to the public. After all, stealing a girl from her fiancé is not something you want to advertise. But if you ask Mother, she’ll be more than happy to bore you with the details... although I’m sure that she has removed anything even remotely negative about Father from her memory...”

If Father had taken precautions, that story would surely never be heard outside of this house. But what about Mother? My calm, reserved mother, passionately recounting her past with Father? I let out a long sigh.

Hearing for the first time the outlandish story of how my parents met each other had made my head hurt. Sophia, who had been furious moments ago, was now smiling at me.

“I thought that you knew everything, but I guess there are some things that even you don’t know!” she said, obviously pleased about being able to patronize me for once. “If there’s anything more you want to know, just ask me!” she added proudly, with an annoyingly satisfied expression.

I felt the respect I had always held for my father was in risk of waning ever so slightly.

After that, I stopped looking for a fiancée. And, for some reason, I felt that perhaps reading through one of those weird novels that Sophia always recommended to me, with words like “stolen love” in the title, wouldn’t be so bad of an idea.