In the course of writing War Bonds, I interviewed close to 50 couples who’ve been together 60 to 70-plus years.
I found myself searching for a common thread. What is the magic that draws two people together and then keeps them together—through war, through peace, through tragedy, through triumph? What is the secret tie that binds?
It could be as simple as this: when most of these couples married (1938–1950), divorce was still relatively uncommon and society frowned upon it.
It could be that many of the couples shared a commitment to a religious faith that forbade breaking the marriage covenant.
It could be that until the equal rights movement of the 1960’s and 70’s, many women stayed in marriages because they felt unable to define themselves without husband or children.
Certainly all of these aspects factored in.
However, out of the 36 couples featured in this book, not all of them shared a religious faith. Many of the women enjoyed rewarding careers outside the home, and all of the couples were around when “no-fault divorce” became the norm. Though their stories are filled with the kind of romantic love that many of us aspire to, these weren’t perfect marriages. These couples experienced heartache, hardship, bickering, loss, monetary worries and health issues. In sifting through these stories, I found several qualities the couples shared.
Friendship. Simply put, they really liked each other. While passion and romance ebbed and flowed, their enjoyment of each other’s company remained.
Respect. Both partners valued what their spouses brought to the marriage and championed their individual talents.
Commitment. One bride said, “After 50 years together, the memories of the bad times pale in comparison to all they joys you’ve shared and it gives you hope that you can keep on making more happy memories.”
Lastly, in spite of what was going on in the world when these couples met and married, they exhibited relentless optimism. They believed in causes bigger than themselves. They felt like what they did mattered—whether it was fighting Hitler overseas, or planting Victory Gardens at home.
When the war ended they formed their marriages and families the same way—with optimism, resiliency and courage. And those of us who are reaping the benefits of their wisdom and sacrifice owe them a debt of gratitude.
Greatest Generation, indeed.