Even though they didn’t touch, Missy felt Wade’s sudden stiffening, and lifted her head from reading the story. She followed his gaze out the window to an approaching wagon. A man and woman passing through, traveling in the dead of winter. They must be lost or looking for a place to settle. Maybe Linette would prevail upon them to spend the rest of the winter on the ranch. But why Wade should furrow his brow over their arrival baffled Missy.
Eddie must have heard them approach, as well, for he came down the stairs and waited for the wagon to pull up to the house and the pair to descend. Then he opened the door.
“Happy New Year to you. Come on in. This is the Eden Valley Ranch. I’m the owner, Eddie Gardiner.” He continued to speak as the pair stepped inside and shivered.
The man held out a hand. “I’m Fred Bauer. This is my wife, Mabel.”
The bottom dropped out of Missy’s heart. This was the couple with whom Wade had corresponded about adopting the children. She reached for Joey and Annie and drew them close.
As Eddie hung their coats, Linette descended. “You must be cold. Come in and have tea with us.”
They led the couple into the room. “May we introduce Missy Porter and Wade Snyder. And the children are—”
Wade was on his feet before she could finish. He caught Joey and Annie by the shoulders. “Go upstairs and stay there until I call you,” he told them.
Joey grabbed Annie’s hand as if sensing his uncle’s seriousness, and the pair passed the Bauers, whose eyes followed their every move.
“Grady, you go with them,” Linette said. She waited until the children were gone, then turned to the adults. “Let’s go to the kitchen and then someone can tell me what’s going on.”
Missy waited until the Bauers were seated, before she settled across the table and tugged Wade’s hand to get him to sit beside her. He was so stiff his bottom barely touched the chair.
Linette made tea and set out cookies. Eddie made polite conversation about the weather, but responses to his questions were short. The tension around the table was thick enough to cut with a knife and spread on fresh bread.
Linette poured the tea, then sat down. She turned to the Bauers. “You are more than welcome, but we need to know your intentions.”
“I’ll answer that,” Wade said. “These are the people who want to adopt Joey and Annie.”
Mr. Bauer leaned forward, earnest and eager. “We couldn’t wait until the stagecoach ran again, or until spring, when travel would be easier. So we left shortly after Christmas. We’re that anxious to meet the children and take them home with us.” He held up a hand as if fearing protests. “We have the wagon outfitted to keep us warm, and will stop at a way station should a storm blow in.”
“Storms don’t always send out advance notice,” Wade said, his voice deep, as if he’d pulled it from the depths of a dark well.
“We won’t be taking any risks. Might even stay in Edendale if there’s a place available.” Mr. Bauer seemed willing to make whatever concessions he deemed necessary.
“Can we meet the children?” Mrs. Bauer spoke for the first time. Her voice was surprisingly guttural.
All eyes turned toward Wade.
Missy wanted to grab his hand and hold on, whether to encourage him or comfort herself, or perhaps to do both, she didn’t know.
Wade jerked to his feet, sending the chair skidding away. “I’ll get them.” He strode from the room without once looking at Missy.
A vise squeezed her chest, so tight she couldn’t draw in a satisfying breath. Her heart struggled to pump out blood. She wanted to rush after him and demand he send the Bauers away, but her papa’s saying once again rang in her head and stopped her. A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still. Nothing she said would change Wade’s mind. He must be persuaded in his own heart what was best for the children.
At least the Bauers seemed like decent people, she thought, even if Mrs. Bauer had a rather unpleasant voice. That was no reason to judge her harshly.
Wade’s boots sounded on the steps as he descended, as did the patter of smaller feet.
“We gonna have cookies?” Annie’s childish voice rang with pleasure. She might not have been quite so excited if she knew what lay before her.
Wondering what the Bauers thought, Missy shifted enough to see them without appearing to watch them. Mrs. Bauer pursed her lips.
Was she disapproving of something, Missy wondered, or only trying to control her emotions?
The three children rushed into the room.
Linette called Grady to her side and Wade clamped his hands on the shoulders of the other two. “Mr. and Mrs. Bauer, these are my niece and nephew, Annabelle and Joseph. We call them Annie and Joey.”
The children politely said how do you do.
Annie squirmed under Mrs. Bauer’s scrutiny, until Linette had the three children join them at the table. She gave them each two cookies, which they ate hurriedly. Joey darted glances at the Bauers, wondering, no doubt, why he was the subject of their blatant interest.
“You may be excused,” Linette said, when the children finished.
“I’ll take them upstairs.” Missy led them to Nate and Louise’s room so they wouldn’t overhear anything said in the kitchen. Nate was rocking Chloe while Louise folded baby clothes, so Missy pulled her friend aside and explained the situation.
Louise nodded. “I’ll keep them amused here.”
Missy hurried back to the kitchen, not wanting to miss anything that was said.
“We’d like to spend some time alone with them,” Mr. Bauer was saying as she entered.
“I’m sure that can be arranged.” Wade looked to Linette. “Perhaps they could use the office.”
“By all means.” Linette managed to look as if this was a normal course of events, but Missy wondered if that’s how she felt.
For her part, Missy wanted to grab Wade by the shoulders and shake him until he came to his senses.
“We’d like to conduct this business as quickly as possible,” Mr. Bauer added.
“The children need time to get used to you.” Missy didn’t care that it was not her responsibly. When it came to seeing Joey and Annie were given proper consideration, she made it her business.
Mrs. Bauer pursed her lips, yet somehow managed to speak. “And who are you?”
Wade answered before Missy could get a word out. “I hired Miss Porter to take care of the children until you came.”
Hired! Until she could be replaced! The thought burned through Missy’s brain. Was that all she was? Paid for and replaceable? Why had she let herself think otherwise?
But then an image of Annie and Joey flashed through her mind and her anger fled as quickly as it came. This wasn’t about her. It was about the children and what they needed.
For some reason, she did not like the Bauers. Yes, she admitted it might be only because they wanted to adopt the children, and Missy loved them too much to see them go.
But it was more than that, though she was at a loss to say what bothered her about them.
* * *
Wade fought to remind himself that this was what was best for the children—both a mother and a father. A permanent home. But didn’t like the Bauers. Plain and simple, for no other reason than they’d shown up on New Year’s Day just when he was thinking he might be ready to reconsider his future.
But he’d asked for a sign from God and this was it.
It wasn’t fair to Mrs. Bauer to compare her to Missy, and yet he did. She had a husky voice and looked to be near thirty. From the darkness of her skin, she must work outdoors with her husband.
The idea nudged something inside him, but he couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was. Perhaps just the thought of a woman working like a man. He knew of some women who actually were forced to pull a plow. Which, to his way of thinking, was no way for man to treat his wife.
He appreciated Missy’s concern that the children be given time to get to know the Bauers. “I won’t be agreeing to them leaving with you until they’re ready.”
Mr. Bauer’s expression hardened. “They’ll get used to us on the road.” His voice softened measurably. “But of course I understand your concern.”
Almost satisfied they had an understanding, Wade agreed to bring the children to the office and let the Bauers have a little time with them.
Missy followed him from the room. “What are you going to tell them?”
“Tell who?” He could barely get a coherent thought from his brain, so didn’t know what she meant.
“The children. Aren’t they going to wonder why they are to spend time alone with perfect strangers? Though I’m not sure they’re perfect by any means.”
Wade stopped so suddenly she bumped into him.
“I haven’t thought what I’d say to them.” He scrubbed a hand on the back of his neck. “I guess I’ll tell them the truth. The Bauers are going to adopt them.”
Missy grabbed his elbow and shook it. “You’ve made up your mind a few minutes after meeting them?”
His head hurt. He couldn’t think. Hadn’t he already reasoned this all out when he’d let it be known the children were available for adoption? Hadn’t he thought the Bauers sounded ideal when they’d contacted him? “I made up my mind before I met them.” The pounding inside his head grew louder. He felt as if there were little people in his skull attacking it with sledgehammers.
“I’m sorry, but you simply can’t make this kind of decision without proper consideration.” Missy crossed her arms and faced him in silent challenge.
He made to edge around her, but she wouldn’t budge. “Fine. I’ll reserve my decision until I get to know them better.”
“So what do you plan to tell Joey and Annie?”
The way Missy stuck out her chin, he understood she wasn’t letting him pass without an answer that satisfied her.
He tossed his hands up in frustration. “What do you suggest I tell them?”
“Do you really care what I suggest?” Her nostrils flared.
“Of course I do.” He caught her hand and stopped it fluttering. “Tell me.”
She drew in a deep breath. “I think you should tell the Bauers to leave, and then figure out how you can keep the children.” Missy must have seen the protest in his eyes. “See, you’re not going to do that, are you? But if you insist on giving them to the Bauers—” Tears filled her eyes and she couldn’t go on.
He wiped the droplets from her cheeks with the pad of his thumb. He didn’t like being the cause of her unhappiness, but what could he do? He’d already made arrangements with the Bauers and his reasons hadn’t changed.
A tiny thought forced its way through his confusion. Maybe he had changed.
Before he could contemplate that idea further, Missy drew his attention.
“Why not tell Joey and Annie the Bauers want to know what it would be like to have two children just like them?”
Wade accepted her suggestion and they continued up the stairs. She stood at his side as he squatted to eye level to talk to the children.
Annie eagerly agreed. “They’d like having two children, wouldn’t they?”
Joey wasn’t as easily convinced. “Where would they get two children?” The fierce, defiant look he gave Wade informed him that Joey suspected this might be what Wade had in mind for them. Oh, please, Joey, don’t do something crazy.
Nevertheless his nephew obediently accompanied Wade and Annie down the stairs, with Missy at their heels.
The Bauers waited in the office and Wade ushered the children in. He paused to see what would happen.
Mr. Bauer asked the children to step forward, and looked Joey up and down as if measuring him. “Let’s see you make a muscle.”
Joey did.
Mr. Bauer smiled. “You’re a strong lad, aren’t you?”
Mrs. Bauer ran her gaze up and down Annie. “You say you’re five?”
She nodded.
Mrs. Bauer appeared troubled. “I thought you’d be bigger.”
Annie drew herself up tall. “I am bigger.”
Mr. Bauer saw Wade hovering in the doorway. “We’ll be fine. You can leave.”
They might be, but Wade would never be fine again.
Missy watched from the kitchen doorway and seemed to sense his condition. She took his hand, led him to the table and pushed him into a chair. She poured coffee and set it before him.
He stared at the cup without understanding what he should do.
“Drink. It will make you feel better.”
He drank, though he knew nothing in a cup had the power to make him feel better.
He couldn’t say how long the children were in the office with the Bauers. None of them said a word as they returned, the Bauers to the kitchen, the children upstairs to join Grady.
The Bauers gave no indication of what they thought. But then, why should they? Their decision had been made weeks ago.
Somehow Wade made it through the rest of the day. Somehow he managed to answer questions and respond to the conversation around him as the Bauers joined them at the table for supper. But he couldn’t have told anyone what was said. Bedtime arrived and he was only too glad to go upstairs with the children. He had no intention of rejoining the adults when the children were tucked in bed.
As he helped them prepare for the night, Joey’s eyes followed Wade’s every move, accusing and condemning. But no doubt the boy understood that he couldn’t say anything in front of Annie lest he upset her.
Wade tucked them in, heard their prayers, then retired to his own room. He would read awhile, he decided, and crawled into bed with a book. Unfortunately, the story did not hold his attention. He was about ready to turn out the lamp and stare into the darkness when Joey tiptoed into the room.
He glowered at Wade.
“You’re going to make us go with those people, aren’t you?”
Wade stared at the boy, uncertain what he should say. “Joey, I promised your mama I would make sure you got a good family to live with.”
“I don’t like them.”
“Why not?” Joey hadn’t had time to form such a definite opinion.
“I just don’t. And I’m not going with them.” He crossed his arms and slammed them to his chest.
Wade closed his eyes and tried to find a reasonable argument. He simply couldn’t. “Joey, sometimes in life we don’t get to do what we want.”
Joey gave him a look of pure disbelief, then stomped back to his room.
Wade stared at the ceiling. The Bauers were a nice couple. Hardworking. Obviously dedicated, to come all this way in the dead of winter. They’d be an ideal family for Joey and Annie.
Was he looking for a way to convince Joey...or himself?
* * *
The next morning, the Bauers suggested Joey and Annie show them around the ranch.
Annie smiled. “That will be fun.”
Joey scowled, but donned his coat.
Wade figured the boy went along simply to protect his little sister. Wade would have liked to follow the four of them, to guard the children. Instead, he stood before the window watching them. Joey scuffed along behind the Bauers and Annie raced ahead, turning often to point out something.
Missy joined him at the window. “Joey understands what this is all about, doesn’t he?”
“Uh-huh.”
“He’s none too pleased.”
“It means another big change in his life, but the sooner he gets settled permanently, the better for him.” Wade hoped she wouldn’t badger him about keeping them. He didn’t know how he would answer her without revealing the depth of his despair over what he must do. Of course, she’d suggest he could choose to do otherwise. He wished he could believe it was possible.
Thankfully she said nothing, but continued to watch the foursome outside. Not that any words were needed to communicate her unhappiness. Her feelings were very evident.
The tour ended back at the house and the children escaped upstairs.
Mr. and Mrs. Bauer took their time about shedding their winter coats. Finally, they stepped into the room and glanced around. Only Wade and Missy were there.
“We need to talk,” Mr. Bauer said, as he and his wife sat side by side in wooden chairs.
Wade grabbed two more chairs and placed them across the room from the Bauers. He indicated he wanted Missy to sit beside him. Despite her disapproval, he didn’t want to face the final plans on his own, and knew she’d offer him comfort even if she didn’t agree with his decision.
Mr. Bauer cleared his throat. “We’ve decided we’d like to take the boy, but the girl is smaller than we thought.”
Smaller? What did that have to do with anything? Wade wondered. She was bright and cheerful, the kind of child to brighten any home.
“It would be several years before she’s of any use,” Mrs. Bauer growled.
Missy gasped. “You only want them to work.”
The truth of her observation slammed through Wade’s heart. And the Bauers didn’t even look guilty about it. He’d almost made the most colossal mistake of his life.
Wade rose to his feet. “I’m not prepared to sell my nephew as a slave. I’m sorry. The children are no longer available for adoption.”
Mr. Bauer pushed to his feet, his hands hanging at his sides. “I thought we had an understanding.”
“I obviously misunderstood your intentions. Neither of them will be going with you.” He grabbed Missy’s arm and hustled her out of the room and up the stairs. He had no idea where he meant to take her, but he didn’t slow his steps until he reached the end of the hall.
The children heard their footfalls and peeked out of Grady’s room, their expressions revealing both concern and curiosity.
Wade turned his back to them, not wanting them to see his anger.
He looked into Missy’s face. “Now what?”
She smiled and smoothed her hand along his arm. The touch went clear to his heart and wiped away the tension. “You’ll think of something and it will be better by far than the Bauers.”
“I don’t know what.”
Her eyes flashed. But he cut her off before she could again tell him he must keep the children. “I would if I could. But I’m nothing but a homeless cowboy.”
* * *
I could help you. Missy almost blurted out the words, but caught herself in time. He’d want someone older, more mature. Someone willing to care for the children while he did his cowboying. Someone convenient. She loved the children and would gladly devote her life to caring for them, but she wanted to be so much more than a convenience. That was almost as bad as being a necessary nuisance.
“You could rent a house in town, find a housekeeper and pay her to care for them.” The words seared Missy’s throat. It wasn’t ideal. The children would be heartbroken. “Of course, you’d need to check in on them often and make sure they were doing okay.”
“I suppose so.” He turned away.
He didn’t like the suggestion? Good. Maybe he’d realize he needed to be the one who cared for the children. They deserved love more than they needed a good home and two parents. Even as she thought it Missy knew he couldn’t manage on his own. I’ll help you. Again the words almost escaped.
There came a noise from downstairs and they hustled to the landing to peer down. The Bauers had donned their coats and were thanking Linette for her hospitality.
“We have no further need to delay our return.” Mr. Bauer’s gaze met Wade’s and he gave him a look of accusation.
Linette bade them goodbye and watched in silence as they climbed aboard their wagon and departed. Then Wade and Missy went down the steps to watch out the window as the Bauers trundled down the road and out of sight.
“Anyone care to tell me what happened?” Linette asked. Eddie had joined her, and Louise and Nate stood nearby. Missy could feel their concern. They all knew Wade had planned to let the Bauers adopt the children, just as they knew he was expected to take over a ranch for his friend and would have to leave soon.
He scrubbed at his neck. “They only wanted Joey because they deemed him big enough to work.” His voice hardened. “The children need a home. Does anyone know of a woman willing to be a housekeeper? I could set her up to take care of the children.”
So he was planning to give her suggestion a try. Missy felt no satisfaction, only disappointment.
She looked up to find Louise giving her a considering look. Her sister-in-law raised her eyebrows as if to ask why Missy hadn’t volunteered. But the question she should be asking was why hadn’t Wade asked Missy?
And what would she say if he did?