Janell felt her spirits plunge. She had been too late after all. Not that she blamed Hank—he’d given her plenty of chances.
She would return to Dentonville, which would make things easier for everyone. It would explain the town council’s need to replace her without anyone having to disclose embarrassing confessions. It would give her a valid excuse not to watch Hank and Cassie Lynn get married. And it removed her from his presence as a reminder of her cowardly refusals.
“Was there anything else?” he asked.
She stood and brushed at her skirt, giving her an excuse not to meet his gaze. “Yes. I wanted to let you know that when Lizzie and her family leave, I’ll be returning with them to Dentonville.”
“I’m sure your parents will be happy to have you visit.”
She looked up at him. “I’m not going for a visit. I’m going back to Illinois to stay.”
His gaze sharpened at that. “What about your job as schoolteacher here?”
“I spoke to the council today and they are prepared to hire Patience Bruder to take my place.” She didn’t plan to tell him it was their idea to let her go. It wasn’t sympathy she wanted from him.
He crossed his arms with a frown. “I don’t buy it. You love your job and wouldn’t just abandon it this way. What are you running away from?”
She ignored his question. “I won’t be abandoning you entirely. I’ll send some additional books and articles to help you all sharpen your sign-language skills. And there are people who can help her learn to read lips—I can help you locate and hire someone when she’s ready.”
Janell took a deep breath and pulled out her brightest smile. “I’m certain that with Cassie Lynn’s help, you all will make a cozy family in no time at all.”
She moved forward. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to town. I’d like to change before I meet Lizzie for dinner.” She had to get away from here before she broke down. It wouldn’t do for him to see her cry.
But he reached out and grabbed her upper arm in a gentle but firm grasp. “Cassie Lynn and I aren’t getting married. And I asked you a question.”
Not getting married? “But I don’t understand. Cassie Lynn is perfect. She met all of your requirements, the children like her and she seemed more than willing. Don’t tell me she backed out.”
“It was a mutual agreement. She starts work at Daisy’s restaurant right after Christmas.” His gaze was curiously intense. “Now tell me, why are you really leaving?”
Mutual agreement. Did that mean he had given up on the idea of a marriage of convenience? That thought gave her some small measure of courage. It was now or never. And she really had nothing to lose.
She straightened and looked directly into his eyes. “I was planning to leave because I couldn’t bear to see you married to someone else. Because I realized I’d turned away my chance to marry the man I love, not once but three times, and I didn’t think I could bear to see the proof of that on the streets of town and in my classroom every day for the rest of my life.”
The look in his eyes fed that small spark of hope inside her. And she knew what she had to do.
“But perhaps I’m doing it again, making assumptions that I shouldn’t. So, just to be sure you know where I stand, it’s my turn to step out on the limb and allow myself to be vulnerable.” She placed the back of her hand on his cheek, stroking it, enjoying the rough texture of the afternoon stubble growing there.
The sight of the vein that throbbed at the corner of his mouth emboldened her.
“Hank Chandler, you are dearer to me than my own breath. Seeing you smile brightens my day and being in your company does funny things to my pulse. You can be single-minded, pushy and downright stubborn, but you are the most honorable man I know and when I’m with you I always feel safe and cherished. In other words, I love you. Would you do me the very great honor of agreeing to marry me?”
There, she’d done it. She’d never felt more vulnerable in her life. For the first time she truly understood what her refusals had done to him. She wouldn’t blame him if he repaid her in kind by turning her down, but oh, how she prayed he said yes.
But as the silence drew out, her spirits flagged.
* * *
Hank stood there, stunned. No one had ever said such beautiful things to him and about him—could she really mean it all?
She’d actually proposed to him. She’d taken the unorthodox step of doing the proposing—something that had required courage.
But her willingness to take action when called for, her spirit and courage, and her occasional shy vulnerability endeared her to him the most.
Seeing the wavering confidence in her eyes, he realized he hadn’t answered her yet. He immediately snatched the hand that had caressed his cheek with such aching tenderness and brought it to his lips.
“Nothing would make me happier than marrying you.”
With a near sob of relief, Janell launched herself into his arms and gave him a kiss that he returned with equal fervor.
Sometime later, when they reluctantly parted, Hank gently drew her to sit beside him on the edge of the mill floor. She leaned her head against his shoulder and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
A sense of rightness filled him, warmed him as nothing ever had before. How had he ever believed he would be happy with a businesslike arrangement? A marriage was meant to be a special kind of partnership, a true merging of lives, where each partner made the other feel whole and fulfilled.
That was the kind of life he and Janell would share; he could feel it with a certainty that settled deep within his heart.
And as he kissed the top of her head, he realized with a smile that he’d actually managed to achieve his goal—he’d found a wife by Christmas.