Josiah pulled Roy to a stop. He searched for tracks in the mud. His prey were slicker than foxes when it came to hiding. They’d evaded him so many times over the past few weeks that he’d began to doubt his tracking ability.
With a heavy sigh, he turned the horse back toward town. It wasn’t helping that his thoughts continued to dwell on Annie and the girls. His heart had leaped out of his chest at the turpentine on the barn floor and he’d snapped at Annie. To say things between them had been strained over the past few weeks would have been an understatement.
Now they’d been invited to William and Emily Jane’s tonight to celebrate with a big meal, thanks to the new holiday that everyone was so excited about. He understood the need to be thankful to the Lord in all things, but wondered if this new holiday wasn’t really just an excuse to get together and call off a day of work.
Josiah knew he was simply irritated that he’d lost the communication he’d begun to enjoy with Anna Mae, his Annie. It ate at him and he hated that he’d hurt her with the harshness of his words. Maybe he’d overreacted. No, she needed to understand the severity of what could have happened to the barn and the animals that lived inside it. Thankfully, the chickens had recovered.
He rubbed the back of his neck. Worry ate at him. Would she behave the same tonight as she had earlier in the day? They’d gone to church that morning and he’d endured her silence during the service. It was the first time they’d had to sit so closely since the turpentine incident weeks ago. The church had been packed due to it being Thanksgiving Day.
He’d been aware of the tension in her body. It felt as if she strained to get away from him. He might be sorry that he’d snapped at her, but Josiah wouldn’t apologize.
When he arrived at the bakery, Roy snorted a greeting to the other horses in William’s barn. Josiah patted his faithful companion on the neck. “We’ll be heading home soon, ole boy.”
William stepped out of a stall he’d been mucking. “Any news?”
Josiah grew so tired of that question. “No, just when I think I’m on the trail, I lose it.”
“Are you even sure you’re trailing the right men?” William asked, picking up a pitchfork and jabbing it into the hay.
“Yep, one of the horses has lost a shoe. Makes it easy to follow until they do something like cross the river, and then I lose them.” Josiah helped William spread the hay in the stall. “What are you doing out here?”
“The women were all quiet and Emily Jane gave me ‘the look’ so I hightailed it out of there with the excuse I needed to tend to these critters.” He indicated the two mares and gelding that stood in stalls.
Josiah felt his ears turning red. Anna Mae was probably telling Emily Jane what a clod he’d been to her.
William leaned against the pitchfork and eyed him. “Yep, that’s what I figured. What did you say or do? Maybe I can help you get back in her good graces.”
He shook his head.
“Might as well tell me. You know Emily Jane will later, anyway.” William grinned, knowing he was right.
“I didn’t do anything but clean up her mess.” He jerked the pitchfork from William’s hands and stabbed it into the hay.
Catching his balance, William asked, “Before or after you scolded her?”
“What makes you think I scolded her?” Josiah wondered if he were truly that predictable.
William chuckled. “Let me guess. You came home, and she’d either left something out, burned dinner or done something even more ghastly. Your first instinct was to find her and tell her what she’d done wrong.” Sensing he was on the right track, William continued with a dramatic flair. “Or if it was something dangerous that she did, you told her how foolish she was and then proceeded to condemn her for it, not out of spite but so that she’d learn her lesson and not do it again. And when she apologized, you didn’t except it graciously but told her that now you had to fix whatever it was that she’d messed up.”
Josiah sank onto a hay bale. “Now how do you know all that?” he asked, baffled. He was sure that Anna Mae would not confide in William, and she hadn’t had time to convey to Emily Jane all the sordid details William had just supplied.
William joined him on the hay bale and slapped him on the back. “I’m married now, too, remember?”
“You’ve done that, too?” At William’s questioning look, he clarified, “Accused her of all she did wrong? And all the other stuff you said?” Josiah dropped his head into his hands.
“Sure, a couple of months after we were married, I did just that. Emily Jane forgot about the bread and it burned to a crisp in the oven. I felt it was my place to tell her how dangerous, foolish and wasteful that was. I wasn’t very smart back then, either.”
“Well, burning bread isn’t the same as leaving turpentine open in the barn and having the chickens tip it over and spill it on the floor.” Josiah looked up, hoping for support.
William shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. Did you hurt her feelings?”
He sighed. “I reckon so.”
“So let me enlighten you, brother-in-law. She probably tried to do something nice for you, which was why she had the turpentine out in the first place. Did you ask why she used it?” When Josiah shook his head, William continued. “Trust me, when you find out, you’ll feel like a dirt clod. When you yelled at her, you undermined her confidence, so now she’s afraid to tell you. You can either eat crow now or eat it later, but it’s for sure you’re gonna eat crow.” William shook his head as if in sad commiseration.
Josiah already felt the noose about his neck. “So what should I do?” He was a doomed man. He picked up a piece of straw and began shredding it.
“Well, if it were me, I’d at least apologize for hurting her feelings. Especially if she’s already said she was sorry.” William stood and put the pitchfork away. He pulled one of his mares into the clean stall.
Low-down snakes couldn’t get any lower than Josiah felt. Yes, she had apologized, even offered to clean up the mess, and he’d still left her feeling like the stupidest woman in the whole of Texas. And now he had to go in the house and face her. And by now Emily Jane knew what a sorry excuse he was. He heaved a sigh, tossed away the straw that he’d managed to destroy in a matter of seconds. “Might as well get this over with.”
William clapped him on the back. “Wise move, my man. Face the music. Just remember to give her a hug and whisper in her ear that you’re very sorry.”
“I’ve been married before, too. I think I know how to make up.” Josiah said the words, but did he really believe them? His and Anna Mae’s relationship wasn’t a true marriage. He just prayed he’d find the right words when the time came.
* * *
Inside the house, Anna Mae had just finished telling Emily Jane about the tension in her marriage. She couldn’t believe how quickly her friend had figured out there was problem between herself and Josiah. She hadn’t wanted to tell her, but seemingly Emily Jane already knew, and understood what was going on.
“Look, men sometimes react over the least things. It is our job as women to keep them grounded. It’s obvious you didn’t mean to do whatever it was that you did, so just let it go. In time, he’ll come around and say he’s sorry, too.” Emily Jane pulled the roasted chicken out of the oven.
Even as she said it, Anna Mae felt foolish, but she wanted to be truthful with her friend. “I know, but he hurt my feelings.”
Emily Jane placed the chicken on the side board. “And he will again.”
Anna Mae poured hot green beans into a big bowl. “Just pretend it didn’t happen? He practically called me stupid.”
“If you want him to apologize, then yes.” Emily Jane looked her straight in the eyes. “Do you want to continue the way it’s been lately? Or go back to being happily married to your best friend?”
How little Emily Jane truly knew. Anna Mae and Josiah were far from happily married. They didn’t even have a real marriage. As for them being best friends, well, that was a good description of their relationship from her viewpoint, but she doubted Josiah saw her that way. Still, if it would bring peace to their home once more... “I’ll try.”
Emily Jane hugged her. “That’s all you can do.” She released her. “Now, would you mind setting the table while I spread the rolls with this wonderful butter you brought? I can’t wait to sample it.”
Anna Mae nodded, then looked to the twins. They were content to peer at the picture book that she’d brought to entertain them. They pointed at pictures and communicated with each other in both English and baby talk. For the girls’ sake, she’d try to forget that Josiah had hurt her feelings and made her cry. Lord willing, they’d be back to normal in no time.
The sound of the men stomping their boots on the porch alerted the women and children that they were coming in. “The table’s ready,” Anna Mae said, just as they entered the kitchen.
“Good, let’s set this on the sideboard and eat buffet-style.” Emily Jane handed Anna Mae two plates. “Why don’t you go ahead and fix the girls’ supper while I get them seated.”
Anna Mae took the plates, very aware of Josiah walking toward her. She turned toward the food to avoid his gaze. Lord, it’s going to be hard acting as if my feelings aren’t still hurt.
“Here, let me help you with those.” He placed a hand on her shoulder.
She nodded and handed him one of the plates. Together they chose green beans, mashed potatoes with gravy, a roll and a chicken leg for each of the girls.
William and Emily Jane talked to Rose and Ruby. The twins laughed as they squirmed in their chairs, trying to see around their aunt and uncle at the plates they knew were for them.
Anna Mae placed hers in front of Rose and Josiah did the same for Ruby. “Girls, wait for the rest of us,” he instructed, joining William back at the sideboard.
Anna Mae filled the girls’ milk glasses while Emily Jane poured coffee for William and Josiah. “Tell me more about the girls’ room.”
Josiah looked at her with a question in his eyes as he took his place at the table. Emily Jane set a steaming cup in front of him. Anna Mae looked away.
She didn’t want to talk about the room she’d created for the girls. She hadn’t shown it to him. As soon as Josiah had left to clean up her mess in the barn, she had taken the girls from their room and shut the door. Since they never used that third room, he hadn’t had any reason to see it.
After the way he’d acted, Anna Mae was afraid to tell him what she’d used the turpentine for. She feared he’d think her foolish and the desk she’d created foolish, too.
Why had Emily Jane brought up the room when she knew it was a sore spot? Anna Mae wanted to kick her friend, but instead answered, “Oh, well. It’s really nothing special, not even worth mentioning.” She picked up a plate and turned her back to the table.
Emily Jane joined her. “I love the idea of them having a desk for reading and drawing. That was really smart of you to create such a space for the twins.”
Anna Mae shot her a “hush up now” look. “Thank you,” she answered, for the men’s benefit.
Both she and Emily Jane returned to the table. After sitting down, William offered a grace of thanksgiving. While he prayed, Anna Mae felt Josiah’s hand reach under the table and clasp hers.
Warmth spread up her arm and threatened to melt her reserve. When William said “amen,” Josiah gave her hand a gentle squeeze before releasing it. She looked up to find him smiling at her. It seemed as if he looked straight into her soul.
Josiah leaned over and whispered for her ears only, “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. I really didn’t mean to.” Then he sat back up and turned to help Rose with her chicken.
At that moment, Anna Mae knew he was forgiven. Would she regret forgiving him? She hoped not. She told herself it was time to let old hurts go. But a question plagued her. What did it mean that she could forgive him with one softly whispered sentence? What would letting it go cost her in the long run?