I’m not gonna lie to you: I’ve got a real thing about the Spanish. You know. I mean like proper. I love’ em. I had one of those teach-yourself Spanish things on my IPod. Yes, I was learning it for someone in particular. And then the IPod got nicked and then the bloke got nicked, not even joking! Here’s the thing though – at the end of the day – whoever stole that IPod off me, did me a favour ’cause I couldn’t even trust him anyway. I should track that bloke down, what nicked it off me, buy him a pint and say thank you which is actually ‘gracias’ in Spanish, plus I got a new iPhone now, so I didn’t need an iPod – I only used it down the gym anyway but they got MTV now instead.
Some days, my friends are like: if you think Spanish blokes are so fit, why don’t you just move there? I’ve got one friend who works in a travel agents and she was like you can’t just go for the blokes. She said it’s a beautiful place…the culture…and I’m like, what beating up a bull in front of loads of people and she was like no, she goes no, like Picasso and…crab pots and everything.
The weather’d be good though. I think I like the skin tone and the dark eyes…and the accent, that and the Irish…OMG! I know they’re not similar I’m not saying that!
Most blokes I meet though round here that are Spanish are gay…I see a lot of them coming out of that gay gym – oh my God – they look so fit. My mate Alex works there – he’s not even gay, don’t tell anyone – I’m not supposed to tell anyone ’cause he loves working there. But he just pretended to be gay to work there – he says he gets loads of perks – like he can use the gym and they got like a massive like communal steam room and a massive sauna which he can go in whenever he wants but he’s not gay.
What’s the Spanish word for ‘gay’?
I think it’s just ‘gay’.