Patterned glass, there.
Not really a pattern though is it? It’s quite random.
Now, I know a red kitchen isn’t to everyone’s taste. I am aware of that. You could paint it green for example, green would be nice. My kitchen’s yellow. But there are, as I’m sure you’re aware, plenty of other colours to choose from…you could say it’s not as black and white, as just green or yellow. (Enjoying her own joke.)
Listen. This is what I always tell people: first timers, (Points to her ears.) ‘Clip-on’…yeah? ‘Clip-on’…you know like clip-on earrings…
‘C.L.I.P.O.N.’
Condition, Locality, Impressions, Price, Ownership and finally Next door, or Neighbours, if you will. Both words start with an ‘n’ so…
Clip-on; an easy little way to make sure you’ve asked all the right questions when viewing a property.
Now, the current owners, Mr and Mrs Hooper, she’s an immigration lawyer… he’s not, are looking for a quick sale…apparently there’s been a death in the family. Oh, I’ve got that bowl, only in blue! So speed is of the essence.
Nice big kitchen…you can fit plenty around the table…are you thinking of starting a family anytime soon? No! Shouldn’t have asked – none of my business. Right, where was I? Ooh, can you smell garlic? Oh, it’s probably me – I had a heavy lunch. It’s a lovely little French place round the corner in fact. Beautiful – bit of a leaving do for one of the girls. She’s off to Australia no less…for love! She met him on a bus! Weird innit? She’s only known him 6 weeks. I said, ‘Tess, he’s got lovely arms, but are you sure he’s the one’.
Oh, now this might interest you…you see that house over the road there?
That’s where Enoch Powell grew up…there’s no plaque or anything. Weird that isn’t it, don’t you think? A racist living opposite an immigration lawyer…well used to live…
I’ve got that wind chime…only mine’s made out of bamboo.