She lists all these things as if it’s an inconvenience but she actually really enjoys it.
OK. Things you need to know about me!
Claims to fame? Yeah. I got loads:
I once got in a lift with Mel Gibson, I once got down to the last two for Big Brother, you can see my mum on Google images, um Charlotte Church went to my grandmother’s funeral. Loads.
Things I’m scared of:
Right, again – could be here all bloody day: spiders, hospitals, baked beans, being alone, aging, flying, choking, lions, that someone’s gonna break in…can we move on…I can actually feel my anxiety levels rising here…where’s my Paul McKenna CD?
Do I have a party trick!?
Yes! Yeah – sniffing out men at parties who have girlfriends and then falling for them and then seeing a book in a charity shop called ‘Why Women Love Too Much’ and then bursting into tears. (Beat.) I can fit my fist in my mouth as well.
Ever said I love you and not meant it?
Yes. Once. To my Grandmother.
But that’s not the biggest lie I’ve ever told. No that would probably be when I pretended to have a drink problem so that I could get out of some personal training sessions that I had already paid for.
What else?
Favourite smell?
Fruit.
Earliest memory?
Don’t remember.
Have you ever won anything?
When I was eleven or something like that I won a competition to find a pebble that most looked like a heart. Mine was so bloody good – I found it on holiday at Camber Sands, looked for ages I did and then I saw it: it was almost a perfect heart-shape and smooth. The prize was shit – a pack of colouring pencils. I’ve still got the pebble though.
It may surprise you to know that I was once arrested.
But can you keep that to yourself – about the arrest. I might want to work with kids one day, or become and MP – or fly a plane for that matter.
What’s the worst hair style you’ve ever had?
Probably this one if I’m honest…