How can you sit there and say I haven’t made any effort? I give seventy percent in everything I do. How can you say I haven’t given it my all?
I love this job. I really do. I didn’t straight away. I don’t mind admitting that. I did struggle at first…I’d been on sabbatical…round at my cousin’s, so I was a little out of touch with the employment world.
I remember on my first day when you told me what time I’d have to start getting up in the mornings and I nearly wet my pants laughing. Admit it – you never thought I’d last this long, did you? And it was a shock, oh my god – it was a shock to the body at first. 4am. Ouch! I used to think about the halcyon days of sitting on that sofa with my cousin, smoking menthols. So, yeah, I know I was crap at first. I know I was lazy, but these last few weeks, I swear something has changed… it’s like someone’s been tinkering away with my cogs… it was like a software update. The clock in my body stopped and reset itself to a different time. I went from being a night owl to an early bird. And now I’m part of the secret 4am club – just me and the pigeons and the piss-heads sharing the air. I love it now. Even on my days off, instead of lying in bed, I’m up; tick-tocking away nice and early. Just pottering or whatever, you know: productive. My cousin’s like, ‘why are you texting me at 10.30am in the morning on a Saturday, piss off’.
To be honest, before this job, I never stopped to think about how my letters got to me. I didn’t really open them that much to be honest with you either. (She finds this funny.) I mean you don’t think about it do you…same with milk, you just don’t think about the journey. In my first week, I thought we’d get the day off because it was raining, but no – you’ve got to be out there delivering on your bike rain or shine.
This job has taught me about people you know. Because you gotta be nice, you know? I see it all: unpaid bills, final demands, the chaos at Christmas…a heart-shaped box on the Valentines. I see it all. You know those little red and white cards that say ‘Sorry, we missed you’; well I draw a smiley face on mine, just to prove I mean it! I am sorry. I feel like I’m out of my cave, you know. I swear it’s different now. You can’t get rid of me.
A cat scratched me last week when I put my hand in the letterbox. It happened three times. I didn’t even tell anyone.