I’ve got and audition for Doctor Who in half an hour…I’m like this …(She holds out her shaking hands.) I’m like… (She does a raspberry to indicate that she is shitting herself.)
She laughs.
It’s not to play The Doctor, obviously…we all know who the part went to in the end. No, I think Peter’s a great choice, I really do. It’s old school, innit – having an grey-haired bloke again as The Doctor. Brilliant actor, brilliant actor. But when it was announced on that programme, I could just imagine fourteen year old girls up and down the country bursting into tears of confusion ’cause they didn’t fancy him, d’you know what I mean? Brilliant actor though.
No, it’s a return to form. I’m up for the part of Empress Nargoose. Great little part. I’m in episode three and then again briefly in five when she transforms into a toxic puddle. It’s quite a challenge because the top half of my face will be covered…and the bottom half…as well as my entire body, so it will be quite demanding but that’s ok because I think the reason I was chosen for this audition was because the director saw me in a short film last year when I was playing a woman at a cash point, in a burka and I was being robbed but I only had the use of my eyes you see (She frames them.) to express just how frightened I was, so I can fully understand why I’m being considered. I don’t have to play the puddle as well, that’ll be special effects or an actual puddle or whatever…
I’ve got my mum staying with me at the moment. She’s not very well to be honest. Whatever tablets she’s on, they’re giving her terrible wind. Her farts are so loud – I think someone’s calling me form the other side of the house and I come rushing in…
Mum loves having a daughter in show business. Oh yeah. I’ve been acting since I was tiny you see. Oh yeah.
I once had an audition for this comedy show right. Like a sort of late night satirical thing. Anyway, so they hand me this piece of paper and this woman in a poncho goes ‘You’ll be reading for the part of dragon two’. So, I’m like right, okay dragon two great. SO, I get in there and I just go for it. I do a welsh accent and everything because that seemed appropriate you know and I’m breathing fire, got me talons like this and everything and they’re sort of enjoying it. They look a bit freaked out and then I suddenly realise that it’s a spoof of Dragon’s Den so rather than stop what I’m doing I very slowly try and turn the dragon into a Deborah Meadon impression. It was actually a surprisingly smooth transition. Didn’t get it, but, you know – showed off my versatility, so, every cloud and all that.