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Every Christmas, Jennifer’s dearest friends (and their families) gathered at Jennifer’s parents’ home for a Christmas celebration that spun with endless laughter, platters and platters of sinfully delicious food, perfectly shiny wrapped presents, and hours and hours of conversation and feigned arguments and squabbles. The tradition had begun around the time of Michelle’s death, as the other Sisters of Edgartown’s family had ached with such sorrow over their loss that they’d wanted to hold one another up in any way they could. Michelle was gone; she wouldn’t ever return. But they had enough love to keep one another going, for now.
Ariane, Jennifer, and Stacy stood in the kitchen during the mid-morning on Christmas as snow swirled out from the sky above. Soft Christmas jazz buzzed from Ariane’s speakers as she made her way around the kitchen in a half-dance. Just the previous year, she’d hardly been able to walk from the kitchen to the living room. My, what changes a year brought, Jennifer thought now.
Just after Ariane danced into the foyer, she called out, “I think Camilla’s here!”
Jennifer hustled past the television, where Derek, her father, John, and her son, Nick, sat with mugs of coffee, captivated with whatever sporting event had recently happened. Jennifer flung open the front door to find Camilla, Jonathon, Andrea, and Isaac pop out of Camilla’s car and speed through the snow to greet her. True to what Camilla had suggested, Andrea and Isaac were both tanned beauties after their honeymoon, and Jennifer screeched with jealousy as she hugged Andrea close.
“There’s our fashion school grad,” she teased. “How was Hawaii?”
“Oh, it was just okay...” Andrea said sarcastically.
“Oh, please,” Jennifer returned with a laugh. “Get in there and grab a freshly-baked donut. Me and Mom woke up early to make a specialty batch.”
“If there’s anything the Conrad women know, it’s donuts,” Camilla shot with a laugh.
Just before Jennifer could duck inside and out of the cold, Olivia, Anthony, Chelsea, and Xavier arrived in Anthony’s huge work truck. Chelsea had recently dyed her hair hot pink, which suited her, strangely, and probably made her just-another-hip-girl in Brooklyn.
“Your mom is going to freak when she sees Chelsea’s hair, isn’t she?” Olivia asked as she hugged Jennifer close.
“You know Ariane. She’s shocked about today’s fashions,” Jennifer said. “But she’ll survive. It’s just hair.”
Xavier looked jittery and strange as he walked into the house after Chelsea. They were a rather new item, as they’d just paired up at the beginning of the year after Olivia had received The Hesson House from her Great Aunt. At the time, Xavier had been a borderline “bad kid” before finding common ground with Chelsea and building what seemed to be an honest and beautiful romance.
Jennifer hopped inside to check on Christmas dinner, which Stacy and Ariane had under control. Just as Jennifer poured herself another mug of coffee, the door cracked open again to reveal Hannah, Isabelle, Zane, and Mila.
“Thank you for putting that wheelchair ramp up outside,” Mila said brightly as she greeted Jennifer. “I brought my three servants with me. I hope you don’t mind.”
Hannah was dressed in her Christmas best: a bright-as-ruby-red dress with a green scarf and dangling pearl earrings. Her hair gleamed beautifully, as bright as the snow outside, and she greeted Jennifer with a timid yet warm voice. “Thank you so much for welcoming me into your home.”
Isabelle flounced into the house and headed straight for Chelsea. “I love your hair. Tell me all about Brooklyn.” She landed cross-legged in front of Xavier and Isabelle, rapt with attention.
Mila rolled her eyes playfully as she wheeled into the kitchen. “Tell me how I can help.”
“I guess we’re just waiting on Amelia?” Ariane asked as she placed her hands on her hips.
“She’s normally the only one ever on time,” Olivia teased.
“It’s still too early for her...” Ariane began, speaking of her potential childbirth.
“Yes. Too early,” Jennifer confirmed. “Wouldn’t be a good thing.”
“Ah! There she is.” Camilla called from the front window.
Together, Camilla, Mila, Olivia, and Jennifer hustled into the foyer to greet Amelia, her niece, Mandy, who was about an inch more pregnant than Amelia, plus Oliver, Amelia’s boyfriend, into the fold. Isabelle, who’d been friendly with Mandy during their high school days, rushed into the foyer to ogle Mandy’s baby belly. “You’re simply gorg, Mandy,” she gushed.
“Are we saying ‘gorg’ now?” Jennifer asked.
“You’re not,” Isabelle teased.
“Ah. I guess we can’t say certain things after the age of forty?” Mila tried.
“I don’t make the rules,” Isabelle quipped as she tossed her hair.
The natural order of things led Chelsea, Isabelle, Mandy, Andrea, and Stacy to the dining room table for a glass of wine and a bout of twenty-something conversation while the forty-something women lingered in the kitchen. Zane and Nick swapped old sports stories from their days on the field while the other men watched the television with rapt attention. Hannah began a conversation with Ariane about Ariane’s beautiful china collection, which she hardly touched since they’d belonged to her own mother.
“Oh, but shouldn’t we use them today?” Hannah tried. “They’re too beautiful to be kept on a shelf.”
Ariane considered this thoughtfully. “You might have a point there, Hannah. How else am I meant to enjoy them? My mother would have wanted them to be used.”
Jennifer turned toward Mila, whom she hadn’t seen since their stint at the hospital a few nights before.
“How’s it been at your place?”
Mila’s smile was electric. “Hannah, Isabelle, and I created a spa day for ourselves yesterday. We listened to music and did facials and painted our nails.” She flashed her fingers around to show a deep burgundy. “We tried to get Zane into it, but he resisted everything but the snacks.”
“Typical man. Doesn’t appreciate the finer things in life,” Jennifer said with a laugh.
“And you? What have you been up to?” This was Camilla, who selected a small Christmas cookie and nibbled at the edge.
Jennifer lowered her voice. “Derek and I ran into Joel the other day. He looked... really sad. I hated to see him like that.”
“I think Renée leaving him kind of ran him through,” Olivia said before she hurriedly added, “But he’ll get through. I’m sure he’s just surprised what it’s like out there in the dating world.”
“I feel like I got so lucky with Derek,” Jennifer murmured just loud enough for them to hear. “But I can’t help but feel guilty for it.”
“Come on,” Mila countered. “There’s no feeling guilty. There’s only being grateful. Haven’t we been over this?”
A moment of silence passed over them. From the dining room came the sound of Isabelle in the midst of one of her college stories.
“And then he told me that he had to study? Again? I mean, I get that chemistry is maybe a little more intensive than other majors.”
“That’s just what he wants you to think,” Stacy affirmed.
“Men are tricky. Who knows who was in the lab waiting for him,” added Chelsea.
“I know! I had this nice, cozy high school relationship and had no idea what the wide world was all about,” Isabelle grumbled.
“She has a whole lot to learn, doesn’t she?” Mila breathed, just loud enough for the women in the kitchen to hear. “Unfortunately, I think I even have a lot more to learn, even at forty-one.”
“Isn’t that kind of a beautiful thing, though?” Jennifer asked. “We were once the girls in the next room, with our lives ahead of us. We still have lives ahead of us, God willing. But we also have all this life experience behind us. This rich texture.”
Dinner was served at one: honeyed ham with mashed potatoes and gravy, roasted Brussels sprouts, buttermilk biscuits, salad, and pumpkin pie. The table wasn’t quite big enough to accommodate all of them, which forced them to set up another table on the closed-in wrap-around porch, with its profound view of the Sound just beyond. The snow grew thicker, as though the house had been positioned inside a snow globe, so much so that as they dined, it became increasingly difficult to see the ocean.
“I do hope it’s okay to drive home later,” Ariane said to the table outside as she peered out.
“If not, everyone can sleep here,” Jennifer countered. “There’s enough blankets and pillows for everyone to collapse wherever they may. That’s normally what happens after we eat too much, anyway.”
Mila, Jennifer, Olivia, Camilla, Amelia, Hannah and Ariane sat around a different circular table and listened to the hubbub of conversation within. Jennifer was glad to have the natural light outside and the view of the curtain-thick sweep of the snow.
It felt like a different kind of Christmas, with Stacy’s miscarriage and Mila’s accident and Hannah’s recent stint in the hospital. But it was true what Mila had said— gratitude was the key.
Midway through their meal, Hannah lifted her wine glass and cleared her throat. Slowly but surely, the girls’ conversation dwindled out to make room for what this stranger wanted to say.
“I just have to tell you that this is a very different kind of Christmas for me.” Hannah adjusted the green scarf around her neck distractedly. “I don’t know why I’m still on this earth. I had a real hunch I wanted off of it. But somehow, through the kindness of some of the women at this table, I’m still here. The snow out across the Sound is some of the most miraculous snow I’ve seen in my life, and I feel very sure that I want to be around for a whole lot more snowfalls. I hope my friendship with all of you grows. And if it doesn’t— if we go our separate ways— know that I am terribly grateful for the time we’ve spent together. It’s meant the world to me and I just wanted you all to know that.”
The other women at the table lifted their glasses to match Hannah’s.
“You’re so welcome here in our home,” Ariane chimed in, giving Hannah her warmest smile.
“And in mine,” Mila affirmed. “You’ve been a lifesaver for me, too.” She then turned to meet each and every one of the other women’s eyes. “And you. And you. And you.” She said it all the way around the table until her eyes were heavy with tears. “I don’t know how I would have lived through any of this without you.”
It hit them all right then: only a few weeks before; they’d nearly lost their beloved Mila. Time had stood still as fate itself had hovered above the earth before making its ultimate decision. They’d been allowed to keep Mila; they’d been allowed to hold onto the life they had together as a five-some.
But there was really no telling how much time on earth anyone had. That lesson seemed to come time and time again as the years passed.
After the meal, Jennifer piled the plates together and padded to the kitchen, where she scraped them clean and placed them gently in the dishwasher. In the living room, there came the sound of her son and Derek, each howling at a sports team on the television.
“Pull it together!”
“Come on!”
Jennifer grinned inwardly as she scrubbed her hands. They were the sounds of the vibrant souls she loved the most in the world. As she grew distracted with thought and the water rushed across her hands, strong arms wrapped around her stomach as a man placed his chin on her shoulder gently.
“Hey, beautiful,” Derek breathed before he kissed her on the cheek.
Jennifer turned herself into him and lifted her chin. He shrieked playfully as she doused him with sink water. Neither cared, not really, as their lips found one another’s and they hovered in the soft grey light of the kitchen as the radio played, “I’ll Be Home for Christmas,” a song that always seemed so sorrowful, yet seemed, in Jennifer’s cherished life, always to be true.