19

Anna pulled up to the Summerhouse on her new Vespa, parking it in her new driveway under her new trellis covered in pink flowers. She took her helmet off and wiped the sweat from it with her tee shirt. She took off her backpack, too, trying to ignore how it felt almost stuck to her back as she did. If she had thought it was hot when she first arrived on the island, she was eating those words now. It was the first time she had driven herself back from work instead of walking or being driven in the truck, and it was absolutely glorious to not have to trudge up the hill or wait around for Christos or Nikos to pick her, but it was no less sweltering under that helmet. She walked through the gate and turned the corner toward the front door.

“You’re late,” Elena said, and Anna saw that she was sat on the edge of the patio. “I’ve been here for a full hour.” She didn’t look hugely distressed, a Greek magazine in her hands and a glass of something – probably from Eirini – next to her, the condensation forming a ring on the white cement. She smiled up at Anna as she approached.

“I know, I’m sorry,” Anna said, unlocking the door and motioning for Elena to come through. “My shift ran late because of some tourists who wouldn’t leave, and then I had to go get gas.”

“For your new motorbike?”

Anna nodded.

“Seems a bit useless if you’re leaving soon,” Elena muttered under her breath, and Anna pretended not to hear her.

As she came inside, she hung her helmet on the new hook by the door and put her shoes in the basket underneath. Elena followed suit. Anna switched on the air conditioning unit she had bought for the window and stood in front of it as the air began to blow, slowly cooling as it did.

“That’s okay,” Elena said. “I started calling them anyway.”

“Oh, yeah?” Anna began unpacking her backpack on the table, pulling out a table runner, a pack of fairy lights, and two towels with a pretty filigree design stitched into them. Elena had promised to call some local estate agents for her and speak to them about the property. Anna had tried to do it herself, but their English was almost as bad as her Greek. So instead, she emailed before and after photos and a copy of the previous valuation, and Elena was following up on the phone. “What did they say?”

“They all said the same thing,” she said. “That the market is doing well right now, the economy is recovering, and the pictures you sent through indicate that you may have doubled or even tripled the value of the house.”

“That’s great,” Anna said, though she didn’t smile. She took the towels into the bathroom, removed the tags and started hanging them on the new handrail.

“Is it?” Elena asked, following Anna into the bathroom. “I still don’t understand what’s going on here, Anna.”

“I’m not sure what’s confusing about it,” she said. “I fixed up the house, and now I plan to put it on the market.”

“Yeah, but why?” Elena asked, sitting down on the lid of the toilet. “Aren’t you happy here?”

Anna stopped adjusting the towels and looked at Elena, exasperated. “Of course, I am.”

“And don’t you love the house?”

“You know I do,” she said. “But it’s not that simple.”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s what you keep saying.”

“And I mean it,” Anna said. “I’m happy right now, but I don’t know if I can be happy here long-term.”

“And why is that?”

Anna sat down on the edge of the tub. “I feel like I’m repeating myself over and over again,” she said. “I feel like this is the millionth time I’ve had this conversation.”

“Yeah, well, me too,” Elena replied quietly, sighing. “But you keep making no sense.”

Anna had almost told Elena and Nikos about winning the contest at least a dozen times. But every time she wanted to she became afraid of their reaction. She didn’t want to seem like one of those frigid bitches from Hallmark movies who always chose their careers over everything else. They’re not the heroines, they’re the girl at the beginning of the film that breaks the heart of the romantic lead. And even though that’s very probably what Anna would be doing, she didn’t want to feel that way.

“If I’ve learned anything from my dad’s letters, it’s that pretending everything is working doesn’t do people any favors.”

“Yes, but that’s ancient history,” Elena said, throwing her hands up. “You are not your parents.”

Anna shook her head. “No, I’m not. And I’m not going to repeat their mistakes. I’m going to cut my losses before anyone gets hurt.”

“No,” Elena said, shaking her head as well. “I’m not accepting that anymore. You know you’re hurting us anyway when you say you can’t be happy here, right?”

“Nikos said the same thing.”

“I’m not surprised. He’s probably more hurt than anyone.”

“That’s not my goal,” Anna said. “But I do honestly think it will hurt less this way.”

Elena stood up. “Whatever, Anna. Let’s just finish these calls.”

Every other time Anna and Elena had had this argument, they’d been able to go back to friends immediately after. But for the rest of the afternoon, Elena was distant. Even cold at times. Anna figured she probably felt like the end was near. And Anna wasn’t certain she could tell her it wasn’t.

Meanwhile, Anna couldn’t keep her mind off the fact that Nikos was meant to be out with Vasilis’s sister Maria tonight. The last she’d heard, they were meant to be eating dinner at the pizza place down the road from the resort. She felt a pang of jealousy as she imagined someone else sat across from him on a date.

“I hope Nikos is having a great time,” she said to Elena as she pulled their dinner out of the oven a couple of hours later, “but I’m also worried about what it means for us hanging out. Do you think he’d stop coming around?”

“So what if he did? You’re the one who’s leaving.”

“I mean, I’m not gone yet,” she said, and Elena laughed.

“Wow,” she said. “You think you’re really something, don’t you?”

Anna froze. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that you’re allowed to cut your losses by leaving on your terms, but we’re not allowed to cut our losses before then? What gives you the right to decide that for us?”

Anna shook her head. She was getting really tired of having arguments in this kitchen. “I didn’t mean it that way.”

“No, I know what you meant,” Elena said, standing up from the table. “I am, believe it or not, emotionally intelligent enough to understand what’s happening here, even if you’re not.”

Anna took off her oven mitts and threw them down on the counter. “I think I understand my own situation perfectly well, thank you very much.”

“Not as far as I can see.” Elena crossed her arms.

“Okay then, why don’t you tell me how it is,” Anna said, crossing her arms as well and leaning against the kitchen counter, trying to act casual despite the fact that she could feel her face going red.

“Let’s see… Well, for starters, you weren’t happy back home.” Elena started pacing the floor. “You were in a shitty non-relationship with your boss at a job that you didn’t actually like but didn’t feel like you could leave. And when you found out about the house, you jumped at the chance to shake things up a bit by coming out here. But when the option to go back to your crap life in New York was taken away from you, you convinced yourself that getting back there would prove everyone wrong. Then you actually started to fall in love with this place, but your pride is keeping you from admitting it and doing what would probably be the right thing for you. But I don’t really care about the right thing for you anymore. Not the way I care about the right thing for my family. And the right thing for us is to not be around someone who constantly hurts us.”

Anna could feel the tears forming, but she fought them back. She wasn’t going to give Elena the satisfaction of being right. Plus, if she defended herself, there’s no way she could avoid mentioning the gallery placement. And with Elena bringing up Marcus like that, there was no way she was going to do that.

But Elena was right, wasn’t she? The second Anna had been fired, she had started to romanticize her life back home, even as she built one in Greece. She had it way better here than she’d ever had it in Manhattan. Or Connecticut for that matter, at least since Lizzy left home at eighteen. Or maybe even since her dad left.

Now she was being given a chance at that life in Manhattan. Marcus finally wanted her, and she didn’t want to waste that opportunity. So why did she keep buying things like she was sticking around? Elena was right that she wasn’t being consistent. She had one foot in each possibility, and it was splitting her in two. She had been feeling that tension the entire time she had been there. She just hadn’t realized that it was splitting her friends apart as well.

Anna started to cry, unable to hold the tears back any longer. Elena softened a bit, and for a moment Anna thought that she was going to come comfort her. But she seemed to catch herself, re-crossing her arms, her jaw set.

“You’re absolutely right,” Anna said. “I don’t want to hurt you guys. You’re the best friends I’ve had in a long time.”

This time, Elena did step forward, but she still didn’t reach out for Anna. “You’re a good friend, too,” she said. “But you’ve got to make up your mind what you’re going to do, or you’re not going to have options anywhere.”

Anna nodded. “I know. I will.”

Elena reached out and put a hand on Anna’s shoulder. Then someone knocked on the door, and a couple of seconds later it opened, and Nikos walked inside.

Anna couldn’t stop her heart from surging at the sight of him. She knew he was probably on his way to meet Maria, but that didn’t stop her from being glad to see him.

“What’s going on?” he said, seeing Anna crying and rushing over. He wrapped her in a hug, and the tears started to come harder and heavier. She leaned into his chest, feeling the wetness spread on his shirt, damp against her cheek.

“Anna’s just having a little crisis,” Elena said from behind him, her exasperation with the situation clear from her tone.

“Well, we’re here for you,” Nikos said. Anna looked up to see Elena rolling her eyes.

“That’s okay,” Anna said. “I think I have to figure this one out alone. But thank you.” She pulled back from Nikos.

“Well, I have some good news that might cheer you up,” he said. “Grab your phone and check your email. There should be one from Xenia.”

Anna walked over to the table and picked up her phone, opening up her emails. The top one was from Marcus, just a series of question marks. She had gotten nearly a dozen of these over the last week, begging her to accept the prize. She flicked that one away to archive it. The next one was from Xenia, with the subject line “FWD: European Commercial Photography Awards.” She tapped on the email to read it, nearly dropped the phone as she did.

“What is it?” Elena asked, craning her neck to try to read over Anna’s shoulder.

“I won an award,” she whispered. “For the pictures of the resort.”

“That’s amazing,” she said, and she actually smiled. “Well done, Anna. Those photos were incredible. You deserve it.”

“Tell her about the grand prize,” Nikos said, raising his eyebrows.

“What grand prize?”

“It seems I won for the hospitality category,” Anna said, “but I’ve also been shortlisted for the European Commercial Photography Awards overall category.”

Elena was definitely smiling now. Maybe things weren’t so irreparable between them after all. “That really is amazing,” she said, wrapping her arms around Anna for a moment. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you,” she said, but she could barely get the words out with everything that was going through her mind. Her cheeks were still damp and her throat sore from crying and fighting with Elena. She needed to get some air. She needed to be alone.

Anna looked up at Nikos. “Did you come just for this?” she asked. “You should probably be on your way to meet Maria.”

Nikos shook his head. “I cancelled that,” he said, not making eye contact. Anna felt herself relax just a bit. “I actually came to get Elena.”

“What? Why?” Elena asked. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, fine,” he said. “But when I talked to Xenia, she seemed pretty desperate for someone else to work the bar, and you weren’t answering your phone.”

“I’ve been a bit busy,” she said, catching Anna’s eye. “But, yeah, I’ll go.”

“Sounds good,” he said. “It looks great in here, by the way, Anna. You’ve made a really lovely home of this old place.”

Anna laughed softly. “Thanks,” she said. “Too bad I’m always working, and you two are the only ones who get to appreciate it.”

“Well, then, you should have a party,” he said. “Have everyone from work and town over. Christen the place.”

“Isn’t that what you do with boats?”

“Meh, we’ll crack open a bottle of champagne on the patio,” he said with a wink. “It’ll be just as exciting, though admittedly less breezy.”

“Sure,” Anna said after a moment. “I think that sounds like a great idea. I should have everything done by this weekend.”

“Great, I’ll spread the word!” He started to walk out the door.

“Hope you’re able to wrap everything up before then,” Elena said, holding Anna’s gaze as she gathered her things off the table. Then she followed Nikos out the door and pulled it closed behind her.

Anna knew what she was saying. She was giving her an ultimatum. Anna needed to figure her shit out by the weekend, or Elena was out. And probably Nikos with her.

Anna sat down on her new sofa and leaned against her new throw pillows. She really did love this place. It had started out as wanting a creative outlet, and then it was about carrying out her dad’s vision, bonding with him as she did. But somewhere along the way it had started to be for her and only her. Every detail was chosen and curated carefully. She loved every inch of the home she had created. She had put so much money into it, and even more time. She had fallen in love in this house, both with the island and the people who lived on it. When she thought about going back to a cramped studio apartment or house share in New York, she felt terrible. Between her friends and her house and her photography business, she had everything she could need here. She didn’t want to leave.

And yet, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she should follow her father’s advice and cut ties. If she wasn’t one hundred per cent sure she could stay forever, then it was probably better for her to get out now. She may not have all of this back in New York, but she did have the possibility of the career she had always dreamed of, that she had wished for every day she sat behind a desk in the gallery staring up at photos she knew were no better than hers.

She wished, not for the first time and probably not the last, that she could talk to her dad about everything. So she did the next best thing and picked up another of his letters. This one was thicker than the others, and as she opened it she saw why.

It was actually two letters, and, instead of being to her mother like all the others, they were for her and Lizzy.

Anna glanced briefly at Lizzy’s, curious about what it might say, but she quickly decided to put it aside and save it for her sister. She took the two pages meant for her and went into the bathroom, where she could see the sky changing color through the window. She sat down in the tub, as she’d taken to doing, and began to read.

My dearest Anna,

I’ve started letters to you every single year for the last nineteen, but this is the first time I’ve been brave enough to finish one and send it.

I don’t know what your mother’s told you about me. I don’t know what you think of me. But one important thing is true: I love you. I always have. And I never betrayed you.

If your mother has actually told you anything, you might have known that five years ago I had a heart attack. Well, I’ve actually had a few more since then. Eight, actually. They’ve all been pretty small, but they worry the doctors. I never let it worry me – it’s their job to worry, after all – but I had a pretty scary check-in today, and I knew that I had to write to you.

Today is your twenty-fifth birthday. I can’t believe that you are a real, bonafide adult now. Every day I imagine what you look like, what you sound like, what you do… I’m not hoping for any certain thing. I just hope you’re happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you and your sister.

I have written plenty of letters to your mother, begging her to let me see you, and they have all come back unopened. I have no reason to think this will make it to you either. But after all these years, not knowing how many I have left, I know I can’t sit on what I have to say. I have to try.

I can’t imagine what you think of me. If you believe what your mother has undoubtedly said, you probably hate me, and that’s fair. I guess that would be the worst-case scenario. But even in the best-case scenario, I’m a stranger. While you always have a home in Greece should you want it, even if just for a few days, I’m not writing you to beg you to come see me. I’ve done enough of that in my lifetime. No, I just wanted to tell you that I know you’re incredible and strong and passionate, and I am so proud of you. You always were so smart and so creative. Wherever you are in life, whatever you are doing, I know you’ll be doing what you love. I know you’re happy. I just know it. It is the greatest sadness of my life to not know you as you are now, but it is the greatest joy of my life that you are out there somewhere making me proud.

I love you so much, Anna. It’s hard to know what to say after all these years to make you believe that, but I trust that if you ever get to read this letter, you’ll believe it. I have always loved you, and whatever happens after this life, I’ll be loving you then, too.

Love,

Your father

In the middle of the island of Santorini is a village called Exo Gonia, the hills of which hide a bright yellow summer house that looks like it’s straight out of a story book. The quaint cottage was built by a man full of hopes and dreams for his future, but love and fate were unkind to him. When he died, the summer house was left in disrepair, broken and run-down. Hope had abandoned it long ago

Until, one summer, the man’s daughter came to the island and found a home within the summer house. She mended it with her own hands, taking her father’s vision and bringing it to life in its walls and windows. And as she built and repaired and created, the hope and passion he had lost began to fill her as well. She chose each detail with great care, filling the home with love and laughter and good food. Her plan had been to create this oasis for another, but as she settled into her father’s footsteps and built upon his foundations, she began to wonder if it couldn’t be her home, after all.