“This is where they write ‘and they lived happily ever after’ in the sky,” Nikos said, tracing her belly button with his finger. He bent down to kiss it, making Anna laugh. He took that as an opening and began tickling her, and they devolved into a fit of laughter until they were so tangled in the sheets they couldn’t move. Anna reached her head up to kiss Nikos on the chin.
“Not happily ever after,” she said, sitting up and grabbing her shirt. “Not yet. Gotta live our lives first.”
Nikos sat up behind her, kissing her on the shoulder. “But happy right now?”
“Happier than I’ve ever been.” She looked him in the eye as she said it so that he would know she meant it.
Just then, the door busted open. “Good morning!” Elena shouted as she walked in, not clocking them as she kicked the door shut and carried a pastry box and a tray of coffees across the room to the table. She put them down and picked up one coffee, turning toward Anna and Nikos. “We’ve got a lot to do, so get up and get dressed before Ni—”
Elena gasped and almost dropped the coffee when she saw them, spinning away so she wasn’t looking at them. Anna and Nikos were grasping for sheets trying to stay covered, and Anna grabbed for her shorts and started putting them on.
“Anna, I think we need to talk outside,” she said, stomping out the door.
“Elena, wait just a second,” she said, chasing her out the door. “I can explain.”
“Explain what?” Elena shouted, circling back on Anna and pointing at her. “That you couldn’t keep it in your pants?”
Anna stayed calm and composed. In every other discussion, she had gotten defensive. Raised her voice. Sounded desperate. But now that she knew what she wanted and had done what was right for her, she didn’t feel the need to argue about it.
“No, that’s you,” she said with a chuckle. “I’ve managed to keep it in my pants for seven weeks with a guy I actually love.”
“Hey, that’s not fair. I’m perfectly capable…” Elena went quiet as she realized what Anna had said. They certainly weren’t laughing now. “You love him?”
Anna nodded. “I do.”
“So what does that mean?”
She shrugged. “It means that I love him, that’s all. And that he loves me.”
“And the house?”
“I don’t know. But I can’t pretend any longer like Nikos isn’t a factor. And I can’t imagine anything that would make me want to leave the love I’ve found here.”
And in that moment, she meant it. Not Marcus, not the contest – nothing could change her mind.
“Okay,” Elena said, nodding along. “I’m happy for you two that you figured that out.”
Anna stepped up to Elena and took her hands in her own. “I mean you, too, Elena. I love both of you.”
Elena smiled. “You do?”
“I do. I love Eirini and Christos. I love this island. I love this house. I love the food, for Christ’s sake. I love my life here. And I don’t take that lightly.”
Elena leaned in and hugged Anna. “I love you, too,” she said. “I just wish things were more certain.”
“But are they ever?” she asked, and Elena shrugged. “I’m as certain as I’ve been about anything. It would take something major to come between us.”
“More major than you sleeping with my cousin?”
“I hope so,” Anna said with a laugh, “because that ship has sailed. More than once.”
Elena landed a playful slap on Anna’s arm. “Gross, I don’t need to know that.”
“Okay, well how about the oven times for the spanakopita? Will that take your mind off it? Because Eirini was very adamant about the specifics.”
“Show me the pie,” Elena said, throwing her arm around Anna and walking back into the summerhouse.
The three of them worked all morning to get the food ready and the summer house clean. But by one in the afternoon, when Eirini and Christos arrived with the rest of the food, it was pretty much ready to go. Nikos was hanging the painting over the desk just as Eirini walked in.
“Oh, Giorgos,” she said, walking over and touching the painting gently. Then she turned to Anna. “He would be so proud of you, you know.”
“I hope so,” Anna whispered, and she meant it. She wished with all her heart that her father was somewhere looking down on her, seeing what she had done with his house and his legacy and feeling proud of his Anna.
Nikos grabbed Anna’s hand, and she squeezed it, leaning into him just a bit. She wasn’t ready for huge public displays of affection, but she was glad to have him there and not have to stop herself from reaching out for him.
Eirini looked as though she was going to get emotional, but instead she walked away and started arranging the plates and napkins on the table. The others moved to help her and a few minutes later the guests started arriving.
An hour later, there were over two dozen people shoved inside the house. Anna had hoped to use the patio, but of course it had started raining as soon as she made plans that required outdoor space. Not to mention, Eirini’s food was somehow almost gone, so Christos had had to run out for more from the shop down the road.
“So,” Xenia said, “have you thought about the awards ceremony in London?”
“Yeah, I think it would be really fun.”
“Oh, good.” Xenia let out a sigh. “Because I’ve always wanted to go, but I am not a solo traveler.”
Anna laughed. “Well, I’m happy to be your adventure buddy.”
The door opened slightly, and Anna saw a few shopping bags peek through the opening. She ran to help open the door, and Christos stepped in, both arms full of shopping bags, dripping wet.
“Anna!” he said. “I find friend!”
“What do you mean?” Anna said, but he didn’t have to answer. As he came through the door, there was another person coming in behind him.
“Hello, Anna. I believe I’m ‘friend.’”
Anna’s mouth went dry, and she felt her hands begin to shake. Of all the people to show up at her party, he was the last one she wanted to see.
“Marcus, what the hell are you doing here?”
“Oh, wow,” he said. “Not happy to see me?”
“Not really,” she said, trying not to draw attention to them. “How did you even know I was here?”
“That other award you’ve won? It was announced online. I came as soon as I saw where you had been hiding out,” he said. “I’m here to find out why the hell you aren’t responding to my emails about the greatest opportunity you could possibly get to launch your career – an opportunity you accepted.”
Anna scoffed. “The greatest opportunity? You really do think you’re God’s gift, don’t you?”
Marcus sighed. “Listen, Anna. I’m not here to get you back. I’m here because you didn’t just win that contest. You obliterated the competition. And you deserve the prize far more than anyone else I know.”
Anna softened a bit. Hearing those words from Marcus was all she had dreamed of nearly the entire year they were together, and now it was happening. But she had made her decision.
“It’s not that simple, Marcus. I can’t just go back to New York. I have a life here now.”
“Doing what?” he asked. “Taking pictures of hotels for a living? You could have so much more, and you know it.”
Anna felt a hand on her back. “Who’s this?” Nikos asked, stepping up next to her. He didn’t drop his left hand from her back but stuck out his right hand to Marcus. “Nikolas Doukas. Nice to meet you.”
Marcus took Nikos’s hand for just a second before dropping it. “Yeah, yeah, Marcus MacMillan, nice to meet you. Could you give us a minute, Romeo? We’re having an important conversation.”
Elena came up on Anna’s other side. “What’s going on?”
“Oh, nothing to concern yourself with, sweetheart,” Marcus said.
Anna felt Nikos’s arm slip from her back as he formed a fist down at his side. She slipped her hand over his and looked around. People were starting to pay attention to their conversation.
“Can we just step outside for a moment?” she said, and though both men protested going outside in the rain, she pushed them through the door. Elena followed, positioning herself between the two men. The rain steamed as it hit the ground, soaking them through almost instantly.
“Maláka! Who the fuck is this guy?” Nikos said, muttering what Anna assumed were Greek profanities under his breath.
“This is Marcus,” Anna said. “We worked together in New York.”
Elena whipped her head around to Anna. “Wait, is this your old boss?”
“Guilty,” Marcus said. “Though maybe let’s say ‘previous’ instead of ‘old’?”
Nikos looked from Anna to Marcus and back again. “The boss you were sleeping with?”
Anna’s stomach dropped. This was getting out of control.
“For over a year,” Marcus said. “But don’t worry, she dumped me just before she came here. We haven’t touched each other for almost two months.”
Anna saw a vein in Nikos’s forehead appear that she had never seen before. “You were sleeping with him days before you came here?”
Anna shrugged. “Yeah, I was. That’s completely irrelevant. The point was that Marcus was here to offer me something, and I declined.”
“Wait, what? Why? You can’t decline, you accepted over a month ago!”
“Offer you what?” Nikos said, speaking over Marcus.
Anna looked first at Nikos. “I’ll explain,” she said. “Just let me get rid of him.” Then she turned to Marcus and took a deep breath. “Because I don’t need you, Marcus. I have a life here. People I love. People who want to pay me for my work. And the last thing I need is something getting in the way of that.”
Marcus pressed his lips together. “You’re making a big mistake. This could be the turning point in your career.”
“Then I’ll deal with the consequences.”
He nodded, backing up toward the gate. “If you change your mind, I’ll be at the airport tonight. Ten past nine to Athens. There will be a ticket waiting.”
“I won’t use it,” she called after him as he walked away.
“I hope you do,” he said. “I know we have our history but put that aside for a moment. This is too important to walk away from.” Then he turned and left through the gate.
Nikos took a step back to face Anna. “You wanna tell me what the hell that was all about?”
The rain lightened up, and they stepped under the trellis, where they were almost fully sheltered. Elena touched Nikos’s arm, catching his gaze, then nodded and went back inside.
“Marcus and I are over,” Anna said. “He was here for a work thing, nothing else. But I said, no, so it’s fine.” She put her arms on his torso, trying to wrap them around him, but he was rigid.
“What was he offering you?”
“Nothing important,” she said, but as she looked up at him, she could tell he wasn’t going to let this go until he had answers. She sighed. “I won a contest at the gallery. The Emerging Talent Contest. He wanted me to come back and show at the gallery for a month. But I said, no.”
Nikos closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. “Why would you do that?”
“Because…” she said. “I decided to stay. I told you that. That’s why we… why last night happened.”
“But why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because it didn’t matter.”
“Can’t you see that it does matter?” He put his hands on his head and took a step back. “Of course it matters. This whole time we’ve been telling you to stay because you didn’t have anything back home. But you’ve been keeping this from us.” He looked down at the ground. “How long have you known?”
Anna sighed. “Just over a month.”
Nikos snapped his head up. “A whole month?” He paced back and forth for a moment, and Anna imagined he was going over the last three weeks in his mind. He paused at the edge of the trellis, looking out over the hills. “So when you told me you wanted to be a real photographer, this is what you meant?”
Anna’s lip began to quiver. “Yes, but I don’t believe that now,” she said. “I love my life here. I love you. None of that was a lie. And this doesn’t change anything.” She reached out for Nikos, but he stepped away, out into the rain.
“Of course, it does,” he said. “It changes everything. How could it not?”
“It doesn’t have to,” she said, hot tears mingling with cold rain on her face.
“But maybe it should.” He crossed his arms and looked her in the eye. “Tell me this wouldn’t kick-start your career better than anything else.”
Anna tried to do it, to tell him that it wasn’t a big deal, but they both knew that would be a lie. It was the opportunity of a lifetime.
Tears formed in Nikos’s eyes as well, and he wiped them away, but they kept coming. “You’ve worked so hard to avoid being like your mother, but the truth is you’ve always had bigger dreams than this island can hold. Than one man can give you. And I refuse to be the reason you don’t get what you want.”
Anna stepped toward him again, and he held his hands up this time.
“Nikos, please don’t do this,” she cried. “I chose you. I love you.”
He shook his head, taking another step back. “I decline your choice.” And then he turned around and ran through the gate.
Anna collapsed to her knees and began to sob. Huge wails came from her mouth as she slumped against the side of the house, her nose running as she cradled her head in her hands. After a moment, she felt Elena’s arms wrap around her, pulling her to her feet and guiding her to the front of the house. At some point, the rain had stopped, and when they got inside, Anna saw that everyone had gone. But the cries didn’t stop. She slipped off her shoes and peeled off her clothes, climbing into bed in her wet underwear. She crawled under the duvet, put her head down on the pillow and sobbed some more. She sobbed for Nikos. She sobbed for her father. She sobbed for everyone else she felt slipping away from her as she accepted what had happened. She cried until she fell asleep.
She couldn’t have been asleep for long, because it was still bright outside. In fact, it was sunny. The clouds had completely cleared out. She heard a noise from the kitchen, so she looked up to see Elena washing dishes from the party.
“How long have I been asleep?” she asked, her voice more of a croak.
Elena put down the plate she was washing, dried her hands and came over to sit on the edge of the bed. “Just a couple of hours,” she said. “It’s about six.”
Anna sat up and took a drink from the water bottle on her bedside table. “I’m sorry about all of that,” she said. “I didn’t see that coming.”
“I don’t think anyone did,” Elena replied. “That was kind of the point.”
Anna shook her head. She felt like she might cry again, but there were no tears left it seemed. Her eyes just burned hot instead. “I don’t understand what happened. After almost two months of telling me I should stay, he tells me to go right when I tell him I want to be with him.”
Elena crawled into the bed next to Anna and rubbed her back. “I know it’s hard to understand, but you have to remember that Nikos has been hurt before. All those other girls dismissed him for their lives back home, which was hard, but it was fair. But the only thing worse than that would be for you to do the opposite and give up your life for him, only for you to resent him later on. Remember, he saw the after-effects of what happened with your parents. You’re not the only one scarred by that particular failure.”
“I guess I get that. But it’s not like I gave up a rich, full life for him. It was one contest.”
“One contest that could lead to the rich, full life you’ve always pictured,” she said. “Which, you have to admit, is very different from the life you have here.”
“But that doesn’t make it better than my life here. Just different.”
Elena shrugged. “I don’t think that makes a huge difference to him right now. He feels like he’d be holding you back, and I don’t know how you convince him that that wouldn’t be the case.”
Anna sat there silently for a while, thinking about what to do. Elena got up to finish the dishes, and Anna went into the bathroom with her phone. She sat down in what had become her spot, the tub, and called the only person she could think to talk to.
“Anna?” Grace answered, sounding surprised. “What’s wrong?”
“How do you know something’s wrong?” she said, fighting back tears.
“Well, you’ve been in Greece for almost two months, and you’re calling me out of the blue. Call it a lucky guess.”
Anna broke down, telling her mother everything that had happened. She expected interjections about how foolish she was being, but she didn’t get any. Grace simply listened.
“Well, I think it sounds like you need to come home,” she said after Anna was done.
“You don’t think I should stay and fight for him?”
Grace sighed. “Anna, something I learned a long time was this: when a man tells you what he wants, believe him. He told you he doesn’t want to be with you. It doesn’t matter why he said it. He meant it. And you have to respect it.” Anna wanted to protest, but she knew her mother was right. Nikos had always been sincere. She knew he hadn’t made the decision to end things lightly.
“But what about everything else?” Anna asked. “What about my friends? My job? My house?”
“Your friends, if they’re really your friends, will be happy for you,” she said. “The house is still your house, unless you decide to sell it. And honestly, sweetie, the job sounds pretty disposable. Ditch the cafe. You’ve got enough other things going on at the moment.”
“I guess you’re right,” Anna said. And just like that, her entire plan had done a one-eighty in a matter of hours. “I guess I’m coming home then.”
After she hung up with her mother, Anna came out of the bathroom to find Elena sitting at the table.
“So, what did Lizzy have to say?” she asked.
“Actually, that wasn’t Lizzy. That was my mother.”
“You called your mother?” Elena said, her eyes wide. “You must be really desperate.”
“Yeah, well, this desperate girl is leaving with Marcus,” she said, and Elena nodded.
“I saw that coming,” she said.
“I didn’t.”
“I know.” Elena hugged her. “Do you want me to help you pack?”
Anna looked around at the summer house; at everything she had installed and bought and created and chosen over the past seven weeks. “You know what?” she said. “I’m only going to take what I brought with me. So I’m okay. But I would love for you to do one thing for me.”
Elena hugged her friend tightly, resting her head on Anna’s shoulder. “Anything.”
“Thank you,” Anna said. “I need you to deliver a letter.”
Then she opened her computer and began to type.
The taxi pulled up to the airport exactly an hour before her flight was due to take off. The driver took her bags out of the trunk and carried them up to the door for her, and she handed him all of the cash in her wallet as a tip. He looked at her, surprised, and then quickly thanked her and got back in his car, probably afraid she would change her mind. It was certainly better service than she had received from the person who had picked her up at the airport seven weeks earlier, though less impactful, she imagined.
She approached the check-in desk and smiled at the woman working. “I think someone has left a ticket for me?” she asked. “My name’s Anna Linton.”
“Yes, Mister MacMillan paid for your ticket just a few minutes ago. Let me get that printed for you. Could I have your passport, please?”
“Sure, but just one request. Could you make sure my seat is as far from Mister MacMillan’s as possible?”
The agent gave Anna a knowing smile and nodded. “I think I can arrange that.”
As the woman checked Anna in and weighed her baggage, Anna watched the outside for the sign of anyone she knew, but no one was coming for her. She had isolated herself the moment she decided to go back with Marcus. She accepted her boarding pass and passport from the check-in agent, thanked her and headed for security. The lines were short and the security agents friendly, and once she was through, she followed the signs to her departure gate.
When Anna approached the gate, she saw Marcus smiling at her.
“Came to your senses, did you?” he said, standing up as she approached.
Anna took a deep breath and looked him in the eye. “I would like to formally accept your offer to display my collection at MarMac as the winner of the 2018 Photographer to Watch competition. But I have a few details I want to discuss.”
“That’s fine,” Marcus said. “You’re making the right decision. We can figure everything else out on the way home.” He stuck out his hand. Anna shook it, then picked up her bag and walked across to the other side of the waiting area to sit until boarding started.
Just then, the gate agent’s voice came over the loudspeaker. “Attention passengers of Flight Three-Six-One to Athens, I regret to inform you that, due to a staff shortage, your flight has been cancelled.”
Nikos paced the floor in his house, trying to decide what to do. No, scratch that. He knew what he wanted to do. He couldn’t let her go without at least asking her to stay.
He knew that her flight was at 9:10 p.m., about forty-five minutes from now. It would take less than twenty minutes to get there on the Vespa. He also knew that he had just enough money in his bank account to buy a ticket in order to get past security.
But he couldn’t decide what to do with that information.
What do I have to lose? he thought. Oh, wait, just your dignity when you ask her to stay and she goes with him anyway. She’s already proven that she cares more about showing her photos at some fancy gallery than she does about you. Who are you kidding?
Of course, Nikos knew he was being ridiculous. He knew she had been exercising all the self-control she had to keep him at arm’s length for the past few weeks, even when he continually tested the limits of that control. And he had known what he was getting himself into last night. Plus, he had been the one to tell her to go.
Nikos flipped back and forth between the impulse to run after Anna and his resolve to stand his ground. Deep down, he was most afraid of the possibility that she wasn’t ever actually that conflicted. That she never really intended to stay. That while he had been falling in love with her, she had been having a good time, just like her mother did before her. Nikos knew that wasn’t fair. He wasn’t Giorgos, and Anna wasn’t Grace. But the story felt painfully familiar, and he didn’t want to make the same mistake his dear friend had made in going after a woman who didn’t love him back.
But that was it, wasn’t it? He loved her. He knew he did. And if he really loved her, there was nothing else he could do.
Nikos grabbed his phone, his passport and his keys and hopped on his Vespa. He knew her plane would start boarding at any minute, so he needed to get there as quickly as possible. He pushed forward into the hills as the sun set around him and willed his little motorbike to move him more quickly toward his destination.
He got to the airport in record time, parking his Vespa and running inside, only to see from the departure boards that the 9:10 flight had been cancelled. Elena called him for the fifth time since he had left the house, but he declined the call as he approached the ticket desk and asked the woman what was going on with the flight.
“The flight to Athens has been cancelled due to a staff shortage,” she said in a chipper tone.
“So all of those passengers are stuck here for the night?” he asked, hope building in his chest.
“Actually, those that were continuing on to North America and the UK were rerouted through London on the eight-fifty-five flight. But everyone else has been grounded, yes.”
“That’s fine,” he said, looking at his watch. It was 8:30 p.m., which meant he had made it just in time. “One ticket to London, please.” He cringed at how much he was about to spend, but he knew that he needed to speak to her before she left. Before she went back with him. Before it was too late. He puffed up his chest and held out his passport.
“Oh, I’m sorry, sir, that plane has already left the gate.”
“What?” he shouted, his chest deflating instantly. “But it’s still almost half an hour to take-off!”
“Well, the flight was full with all the new passengers, and they got an earlier slot, so they taxied out early.”
Nikos nodded at the desk attendant, thanked her and walked over to the window. Sure enough, as he pressed his face against the glass, he saw an EasyJet plane ascending into the clouds.
It didn’t matter how certain he was that he loved her. He was too late.
Anna had forfeited her right to an airport chase scene the moment she had chosen to live in the real world instead of a rom-com; the moment she had decided that fulfilling her dreams was just as important as the guy she had known for weeks, no matter how much she loved him. Plus, if he had already read her letter, he wouldn’t be coming to stop her.
But that didn’t make it hurt any less to watch her life in Santorini disappear beneath her as she boarded the plane and found her seat and they took off and flew straight into the sunset.
There was no turning back now.
Nikos,
I am so sorry to have to be writing you this letter instead of telling you in person, but I want to respect your wishes.
After weeks of uncertainty – years, if I’m being honest – I have never felt so secure in my decisions than I did when I woke up next to you this morning. Even if it had to end like this, I’m so glad we had those hours together. They were the best of my life. I wouldn’t have changed a thing about them, even to make things happen sooner. I’m glad I waited until I was sure.
You were right about one thing. I definitely would have wondered “what if” if I hadn’t taken the placement with Marcus. It would have probably bugged me not knowing what would have happened with it.
But you were wrong, too. My dreams aren’t bigger than the island, or bigger than you. Because my dreams are only as big as I am. What matters is how deeply those dreams have rooted themselves in me. And while my dreams of being a critically acclaimed photographer have been there for longer, they haven’t reached as deep as my love for you. For the life I built – the life you helped me build – on Santorini. And those roots don’t get pulled out as easily as you telling me to leave. The plant may be gone, but the roots remain.
The mistake you and I made was thinking that it was the falling in love that mattered. That we had to keep falling in love or we would end up like my parents. And with so many other dreams in my heart, it was hard for both of us to imagine that being possible. But look at Eirini and Christos. They’ve been together for over sixty years, and they’re still madly in love. They haven’t been falling in love that whole time. They hit the bottom a long time ago. It’s the roots that formed and entwined together that keep them happy and in love. It’s like the rice throwing at the wedding, willing the bride and groom to become one root. And that root existing underneath it all is more important than anything happening above ground.
You rooted into my heart quickly and thoroughly. I fell in love with you quickly, and I’ve stayed in love with you. Pretending that root hadn’t formed didn’t make it any less present. I hope you feel it too. Because I’m not done with you just yet.
Love,
Anna