CHAPTER 8

Gru stared out the window of the private jet. The sun was shining, and there wasn’t a cloud in sight. It seemed like a sign that what Lucy had said was true—things would get better. And sooner than he had thought.

“I wonder what Dru will be like!” Gru said, drumming his fingers on his leg. “Maybe we’ll have that twin thing where we can read each other’s minds. How cool would that be?!”

“Um, super cool!” Lucy said.

The parachute in the top of the plane exploded open, letting the jet ease toward the ground. They touched down in the middle of the ocean on a runway covered with pigs. Big, fat, pink pigs, running and squealing in all directions.

“Woo-hoo! Freedonia!” the girls cried as the jet sped toward a beautiful mansion with a pink roof. The rolling hills behind it were covered with cypress and olive trees.

The girls ran off the jet. Several pigs approached them, oinking in greeting.

“Hi, piggy, piggy!” Agnes said, chasing one in circles.

“Whoa, look at that house!” Edith pointed to the giant mansion. It was covered in ornate gold accents that sparkled in the sun. The walkway to it was lined with white marble columns, each one with a pig sculpture on top.

“It’s like a castle!” Agnes said.

Gru dragged everyone’s suitcases off the plane, trying not to bump his head on the way out. He stepped down and took a deep breath, smelling the ocean air… and something foul. “What’s with all the pigs?”

Fritz appeared behind him. “This is the family business,” he said. “The largest pig farm in the whole of Freedonia!”

As he said it, a huge, ugly pig ran up to Gru, nudging him in the butt.

“Okay, nice pig,” Gru tried. But the pig just nudged him harder. “No! That’s my private part!”

He started running, but the pig followed. They ran all the way to the front door of the mansion, and Gru didn’t dare stop until he was safely inside. He slammed the door behind him, trying to catch his breath.

The mansion was even more impressive inside. It seemed as if every surface was decorated with a pig theme. Two pink velvet armchairs had snouts and eyes. The bookcase had pig ears, and every column and railing was topped with a carved pink pig. There were even two dancing pig sculptures at the top of the stairs.

“Oh, this is amazing!” Lucy said, gazing at the mural on the ceiling. “It’s like the Sistine Chapel. But with pigs.”

They were so busy staring at the beautiful architecture that they barely noticed the man coming down the staircase.

“My brother!!” Dru called out, opening his arms wide.

He was dressed head to toe in white, with a white fedora and sunglasses. He was smiling, a big genuine smile, and seemed to have the confidence and personality Gru had always hoped for.

“Gru!” he said as he got closer.

“Dru!” Gru said, thrilled. Not only did he have a brother, but the brother looked exactly like him. They were mirror images of each other.

But then, with a flick of his wrist, Dru took off his hat. His mop of golden hair cascaded down onto his shoulders. Gru’s smiled faded. He couldn’t stop staring. It was so thick… so lustrous. The hair of angels, or catalog models, or the boys on the playground who made fun of Gru when he was small. It was simply… beautiful.

“Ahhhh!” Dru hugged Gru tight. “Brother! I am hugging you! I’m so happy!”

Gru stood there awkwardly, not quite sure what to do with his arms. Dru was hugging him so hard he’d picked him up off the ground. Dru grabbed Gru’s scarf with both hands, pressing his cheek against Gru’s. Gru squirmed, a bit uncomfortable with the affection.

“After all these years, finally I’m meeting you!”

“Yup, good,” Gru said, wondering when he could get away.

Dru turned, noticing Lucy and the girls.

“Oh, look at that! You must be the beautiful wife!” he said. “How is my brother finding a wife like you when he is so bald?”

Dru rubbed Gru’s head as if he were polishing a bowling ball. Then he turned, grabbing Gru’s shoulders. “I’m joking!” He laughed. “Who doesn’t love this guy? Look at him!” Gru almost smiled, but then Dru added, “Oh, but hair would make you better.”

Dru laughed again and then playfully punched Gru in the stomach. As he started tickling his sides, Gru tried to appear calm. In actuality, he wanted to sock Dru right in the nose.

“I wanna tickle you!” Dru laughed. “I wanna tickle you!”

The girls laughed right along with him.

“These must be my nieces!” Dru turned to them. “You’re Agnes—you are small with big eyes. And it makes me want to put you in my pocket! And Edith—I can tell that you are a little mischievous. We’re gonna have to make a little trouble later.”

“I already have…,” Edith said. She’d taped a KICK ME sign to Fritz’s back, and now Dave and Jerry were both kicking him in the shins.

“Fist bump for mischievous behavior!” Dru said, bumping his knuckles against Edith’s. “And Margo! Oh, you are so mature. I’m guessing what… fifteen?”

“She’s twelve!” Gru snapped. “She looks twelve. She will always be twelve.”

“Your discomfort is hilarious.” Dru laughed. “Oh man, having a brother is the best! What could be better than this?”

He punched Gru in the stomach again, just for fun.

“I dunno…,” Gru grumbled. “Never having met you?”

“I love your sense of humor,” Dru went on. “It’s funny because it’s not true!”

Lucy must’ve noticed how annoyed Gru was because she took a step into the great hall. “So, Dru… this place is amazing. I mean, you just walk through the doors and you’re like: wooooowwwooowwooooo!!”

Dru’s face grew serious. “Eh. It’s nice, I guess, sure. I’m not really into ‘things.’”

Then he flung open some nearby doors, revealing a row of expensive cars.

“This is so cool!” Edith said. “Oh my gosh, he’s even got a helicopter!”

Gru couldn’t help himself—he had to look. Sure enough, there was a giant red helicopter sitting right next to one of Dru’s fanciest cars. It seemed brand-new.

“This is the best!” Agnes said, jumping up and down.

Gru slowed his pace so he was walking beside Lucy. They let the girls go ahead with Dru.

“Yes, the best,” Gru managed to say. “All right, let’s go home now.”

“Home? Why?” Lucy asked.

“I don’t know, this guy, with the mansion and the cars and… all the hair,” Gru moaned. “Silky-smooth, luxurious hair. I feel worse than I did before I came.”

Lucy gave Gru a sympathetic nod. Of course Dru made Gru feel bad about himself. The fancy cars, and the giant mansion, and the private plane… all after they’d just lost their jobs working for AVL. Poor Agnes had been selling her belongings on the street.

But they were there already, weren’t they? And Dru was family, wasn’t he? How could they fly back now?

“He’s your brother, Gru,” Lucy said, as if that settled it. “Give him a chance.”