CHAPTER 9

Gru and Dru strolled through the grounds behind the mansion. They followed Dave and Jerry, who were running up to every pig they saw and getting right in its snout.

“Ooooo, piggy, piggy!” Dave yelled at a piglet.

Fritz had taken Lucy and the girls on a tour of Freedonia so Gru and Dru could have some alone time. Now they were walking and talking… alone. Gru was so uncomfortable that he wanted to ride one of the pigs off into the sunset.

“So how are things going for you, career-wise?” Dru asked.

Gru smiled as big as he could. “Ahhaaaaa… great. So, so great. Crushing it.”

“Well, I’ve got something that I think you will find very interesting. Hold on to your face, Brother,” said Dru.

Dru stopped in front of a stone statue of a pig. He stuck his finger into the pig’s snout and a remote control popped out. Then he punched a code into it and grabbed Gru’s hand. The ground beneath them dropped a few inches. Dru looked down, disappointed. Clearly something else was supposed to happen.

He jumped up and down, stomping on the platform beneath them until the trapdoor gave way. Gru and Dru plummeted into an underground lair.

“Aaaahhhhhhh!” Gru screamed, his stomach dropping. “Whaaaaaaaaaa!”

The Minions dove in behind them, riding their new friend—a huge pink pig—and carrying its little piglet in their arms. They all fell several stories until a massive fan at the bottom slowed their speed. Dru floated for a moment and then landed gracefully. Gru fell flat on his head.

Thunk! Boof!

Dave and Jerry weren’t far behind. Dave reached up, catching the piglet just in time. Jerry raised his arms, preparing to catch the pig, but it smushed him flat.

“Le salami!” Dave cried.

“Come on, come on,” Dru said, waving Gru over. He strode down a long hallway lined with statues of Gru family villains. Dru wrapped his arm around his brother.

“What is all this?” Gru asked, noticing a statue that looked a lot like him, if he were six inches shorter.

“The pig farm was just a cover for the real family business,” Dru said.

“Haha!” Dave pointed to a statue of a woman villain. “C’est Gru con boobs!”

Dru stopped in front of the door at the end of the hall. “Now, feast your eyes on…” He pressed a button and the door opened, revealing one of the most sophisticated lairs Gru had ever seen. There were dozens of high-tech computers, holograms, weapons, and gadgets. “Dad’s lair! Ta-da!”

“Whoa whoa whoa, wait…,” Gru said, taking it all in. “So our dad was a villain?”

“Not just a villain!” Dru said. “But one of the greatest of all time!”

Gru turned, looking up at an oil painting of a man with his face. There were so many similarities—they had the same eyes, the same long, hooked nose. And unlike Dru, his father was also bald.

“That’s him?” Gru asked. “That’s our dad?”

“He was so proud of you,” said Dru. “And what a great villain you were.”

“He was?” asked Gru, surprised.

Dru nodded. “But me… not so much.” He took a longing look at the portrait of their father. “To Dad, I was just a failure. He never thought I had what it took to be a villain.”

Dru paused for a moment and looked to his brother. “But now you can help me prove him wrong. Brother, teach me the art of villainy!”

Dru leaned in close and raised an eyebrow.

“No. No, no, no,” Gru said. “I can’t do that.”

“What? But it’s our family tradition! You can’t say no to that!”

Gru shook his head solemnly. “Look, I’m sorry. I’ve left that life behind me. End of story.”

Dru let out a deep sigh. His shoulders slumped. It was the most upset Gru had seen him all day.

“Oh, okay. I understand,” Dru said sadly. Then he turned to a lever on the wall. “Hmmm… I wonder what this does?”

He pulled the lever and the floor opened up; Dave, Jerry, and the pigs all fell below. Within seconds, an amazing villain vehicle, a cross between a Lamborghini and a spaceship, popped up. It was gold, with two red leather seats and a turbo blaster on the back. Dave, Jerry, and the pigs were all squished inside.

Gru took a few steps toward it, amazed.

“Dad’s villain wheels. Pretty slick, huh?” Dru stepped closer, whispering in Gru’s ear. “Want to take her out for a spin? Just for some fun?”

Then Dru spread out on the hood of the car. He smiled his most mischievous smile.

Gru looked at him, then at the car, then back at him.

“Hmmmmm…,” Gru mused, considering it.

Just one ride, just for a few minutes. Was there any harm in that?