His throat tightened as he heard the unspoken question in her voice. How many times had his family asked him why? What could he say? That he was angry at God? That he blamed Him for taking his dad? It was so sudden. His father was there, seemingly in perfect health one day and gone the next. There had been no time to prepare…no time to say a proper goodbye.
He knew that his refusal to explain frustrated his mother and twin. There was nothing he could say that would help. Filled with resentment and anger, the pain of his loss went so deep it was impossible to share with anyone.
Her continued silence brought him back to the evening she had come to offer her condolences. She hadn’t been intrusive, but had sat quietly with him and was kind enough to share her own loss with him.
He surprised himself when he admitted, “I haven’t been able to go inside any church since my father’s funeral.” She was silent so long that he cautiously took his eyes off the road long enough to glance at her.
Trenna said candidly, “I’ve been through grief counseling. I understand there are stages of grief. But I don’t care what the experts say. There is no understanding loss. We’re not all the same. And we grieve in different ways.”
Darrin nodded. “You should know. You’ve had to deal with a great deal of loss in your life: first your parents and then your husband.”
“Are you changing the subject because it’s hard to talk about?”
“Yes—I mean no. “
She volunteered, “Losing my parents was especially devastating because I lost both of them at once, and it happened so quickly. There was no warning. Like me, you were raised in church. You don’t need me to remind you that during difficulty it’s easy to forget God’s love is unconditional. He hasn’t stopped loving you.”
Darrin blinked, feeling as if he had been hit by a two-by-four. Uncomfortable, he asked, “Was your husband the reason you no longer wanted to stay in Charleston?”
“Maureen was the reason I moved to Michigan. Maintaining our friendship was important to both of us. Over the years she and Mrs. Hale had become family to me.” Trenna confessed, “I’ve been praying for Mrs. Hale and trying not to worry. Do you think it’s serious since they are admitting her?”
“Not necessarily. Maureen didn’t sound as if she was alarmed. At Mrs. Hale’s age I’m glad the doctor was cautious and sent her to the hospital. “
“I agree,” she said softy, tucking a leg beneath her.
He was pleased that she was starting to relax, even leaned back against the seat.
“I asked if she needed me to sit with her, but she said no.” Trenna surmised, “Having to make the hard decisions and facing them on your own are major disadvantages to being an only child.”
“I disagree. Maureen’s not alone. And neither are you.”
The salt on the roadway finally seemed to be working. The traffic started picking up speed. She released a heavy sigh as they approached her exit.
“Darlin’, you can let go of the door-handle,” Darrin teased, ”We’re nearly there.”
“Sorry. My nerves have nothing to do with your driving skills. I’m amazed at how comfortable you are behind the wheel. Even after living here for nearly five years, I’m not fond of driving in the snow or ice.”
“Fond? That is a huge understatement. You’ve got more than a healthy dose of reluctance.”
“Maureen didn’t explain?”
"She didn’t say more than that you needed a ride home. Why don’t you tell me?”
“I appreciate the lift. Despite what you said earlier, this has to be a huge inconvenience.”
Although disappointed that she was unwilling to talk to him, Darrin didn’t comment. He shifted to ease the tightness in his neck and shoulders. Unfortunately, the snow was not letting up. “Looks like we have a blizzard.”
“You think? Do you have far to go?”
“Nope, I’m only a couple of miles from my family. No need to say thank you again. I don’t mind helping you out.”
“But I appreciate your help. I had planned to stay in the building.”
Frustrated, Darrin said, “Trenna, you’ve already told me. Once was enough.”
He was relieved when she said, “Well, the little ones were thrilled.” She smiled when she explained, “Santa’s sled won’t glide without snow, plus the fun in making snowmen and snow angels.”
Darrin howled with laughter. “There’s never a dull moment at Little Hearts.”
“You’ve got that right.”
When they slowed at the security gate, the guard recognized them and waved them through. The road conditions were not improving.
He said, “It looks as if the plow has come through here earlier, but it wasn’t enough. Your driveway and walk haven’t been touched.”
“Aren’t you worried about getting stuck?”
“Not likely with four-wheel drive and snow tires.”
He eased the Jeep to a stop in front of her place. Stretching taut muscles, he said, “As promised, I got you home safe and sound.”
“You did.” She surprised him when she said, “You might as well come inside and warm up.”
Before she could reach for the door handle, Darrin said, “Hold on. Let me get you down.” Grabbing his coat from the backseat, he pulled it on, then came around to her side to open her door. He picked her up and kept going, cautiously mounting her front steps. They shivered from the brisk wind by the time she got the door open and switched off the alarm.
Just then his stomach grumbled, loudly. They both laughed.
“I hope you don’t mind leftovers. I made chili last night.”
“I love chill. But I’d better move the Jeep into the drive, just in case the snowplow comes through. Be right back. Where’s your shovel?”
“The garage. But you don’t…”
“Not a problem. Which way?”
She pointed to the side door.
Whistling softly, Darrin couldn’t believe his good luck. His good-natured teasing seemed to have done the trick. The petite beauty had a gorgeous smile. He was grateful to finally have her smiles directed his way.
As he cleared the porch and steps, he realized he still had no idea what it was about Trenna that had fascinated him. From the first, he had been drawn do her. She was quiet, but her attitude and direct manner of speech was refreshing. No false flattery, or no pretense or attempts to stroke his ego.
She was beautiful. But his interest went deeper than the way she looked. By the time he finished with the sidewalk and was attacking the drive, he still had no clear answer. He would be lying if he failed to acknowledge that her smooth, flawless dark brown skin was driving him nuts, wondering if every inch of her was as soft as she looked. And her luscious mouth begged for his kisses. Talk about a moth fascinated by the flame. She was so classy, no wishy-washy high-low hems for her, or skintight skirts and leggings.
He meant it when he said he didn’t mind clearing the snow. After being cooped up in the car, he relished the physical activity.
When he stepped inside he was relieved to be out of the blowing snow. He hung his coat beside hers on the coat rack in the entranceway and left his wet boots next to
hers on a rubber tray, beneath the long, cushioned bench against the wall. He padded in sock-covered feet into a great room.
Lamps illuminated walls covered in warm beige. The large, dark green L–shaped sectional sofa was positioned in front of a huge fireplace. Above the mantle was a large, wall-mounted flat screen TV.
“Very nice.”
He admired the open floor plan. The galley kitchen was on the back wall; the mahogany and glass dining table with green and white leaf-patterned padded chairs were in the center of the room. Forest green and cream area rugs defined the space between the living and dining rooms.
“You must be freezing.” She smiled. “Make yourself comfortable. Would you care for tea, coffee, or hot cider?”
“Cider?”
“I have a single brewer.”
He nodded. “Coffee…please.”
She flicked a switch and the electric flames instantly danced in the grate. She laughed. “Be right back.”
He sat down, careful to keep his eyes on the flames.
Placing the steaming mug on the coffee table, she said, “I wasn’t kidding when I said I’m not an outdoor girl. I can’t imagine sleeping outside on the ground without indoor plumbing.”
“There’s nothing like a campfire beside the lake.” He grinned. “Even my mother tried it, once.”
Her mouth dropped open. “Your classy, beautiful mother slept in a tent?”
He nodded. “Dad talked her into going camping with us. We had a great time.” Chuckling, he admitted, “Mom hated every second and swore she was never coming back. Dad enjoyed teasing her about it.”
Trenna smiled before she surmised, “Love.”
“Exactly.”
“So that’s where you got this outdoor enthusiasm from, your dad. Do you warm weather fish or hunt during deer season?”
“I’ve done both. Love any kind of fishing, but I’ve been deer hunting only a few times. It’s not my thing.” He chuckled, “Darlin’, I’d really like to take you up to the cabin. I guarantee you will love it.”
“No thank you.”
They both laughed.
“I’m guessing that your parents were like mine…deeply in love.”
“That’s correct. Were your parents both teachers? Was that why you decided to go into education?”
She giggled. “Absolutely not. My mother was a very talented clothing designer. My dad was a corporate lawyer. She worked as a seamstress in a small boutique. The owner, Miss Elaine, was an older woman who knew fashion. When she saw some of Mom’s designs Miss Elaine was impressed and encouraged her.
“They started with a few dresses and it quickly turned into a whirlwind. Then Miss Elaine hired two more seamstresses to keep up with the demand. Soon she signed an exclusive contract with the shop owner and shared in the profits. It worked out better than either of them had expected. They hired five seamstresses and my mother was finally able to design full time. When the owner needed to retire she offered to sell the shop to Mom.
“Dad was her biggest supporter and handled the deal. We were in a tourist town. Women on vacation came in and bought clothes. Soon Mom was getting orders from around the country. The boutique was always crowded, the phone was constantly ringing, and they couldn’t keep up with the orders. When Mom needed help she turned to Dad.
“He took over the business part and allowed her to concentrate on her designs. Before Dad was done he’d opened several boutiques across the south, plus hired a manufacturing company to make the clothes and, eventually, we also bought the manufacturing company.”
“No wonder you always look good.”
She smiled. “Many of Mother’s designs are classics and will never go out of style. She did asymmetrical hems first.”
“I’m impressed.”
Trenna nodded. "I feel blessed to have had such wonderful parents. Most important to me was they were so loving, always there for me. I couldn’t ask for more.”
He grinned. “Loving parents! Who would believe that we actually have something in common?”
She laughed. “Stop teasing me. Your family enjoyed sports while mine were huge music fans. During the summer, Dad used to drag us to open air concerts and jazz festivals around the country. Although my mom believed in healthy meals, she turned a blind eye when Dad stuffed me with cotton-candy, foot-long chili dogs, deep-fried onion rings, and mile-high ice cream cones dipped in chocolate and nuts.”
He adored the way her pretty eyes danced with humor. He watched as she picked up the remote, turned the television to the local evening news channel, keeping the sound muted. The local weather map filled the screen with blizzard warnings, and school closings scrolled across the bottom of the screen.
“Do you want the volume up?”
Acutely aware that what he truly wanted was off-limits, he shrugged, “I already know that since I’ve come inside my SUV’s covered. It’s not letting up.”
She shivered and went over to the picture window and closed the drapes. “Make yourself at home. The guest bath’s there.” She pointed to a closed door, tucked in a narrow hallway between the kitchen and dining room. “Excuse me, I’m going up to change.”
Darrin’s heart picked up speed. Unable to look away, he watched the delectable sway of her shapely hips as Trenna climbed the staircase that led to a loft. He watched until she reached the top of the landing and then was disappointed when she went behind the fabric-covered privacy screen.
He turned and went into her small pale green and yellow half-bathroom. When he closed the door he realized his hands were shaking. He took several slow deep breaths.
He stared at his image in the gold-framed mirror, determined to forget the way his senses had heated and his body had instantly hardened when he’d picked her up and carried her to the door. He took another long breath while telling himself that he couldn’t give in to this overwhelming need.
Sure, he wanted her. So what? She was unavailable, a fact she was not about to let him forget. There was no doubt that she hadn’t left any options open for them. First thing on her agenda was to let him know he wasn’t her type.
He had to man up and deal with it. So what if he suspected she was afraid, running from something? Besides, it was her place and her show—he had no choice but to play this game her way. She didn’t want or need him. Her secrets were safe.
He should be concentrating on giving thanks that she had invited him in. He must not forget that he was only in her home because he’d done her a favor and given her a lift home. His father had raised the twins to respect women. She invited him to dinner. He would clean his plate, help clean up, and then he’d say thank you politely and go home alone.
Trenna was what his parents called a good girl. She was special, the kind of female a man didn’t fool around with. Plus, his mother liked Trenna. Unfortunately for him, Trenna had told him that she wasn’t interested. It hurt knowing she did not want him the way he wanted her.
Unfortunately, his need for her was not going away. It was unrelenting, testing his control. He had never had a problem with accepting no from a woman. He had a healthy ego, and would simply move onto the next willing female. He was aware that a single phone call to any of the females in his past could solve his sexual issue.
Since the night she had come to their home to pay her respects to his family, he had gone without. His reason wasn’t complicated. He didn’t want another woman—he only wanted Trenna McAdams. The wanting started the day they met. Smart, brilliant, and so beautiful, she fascinated him.
It was crazy, and so was he for letting this thing drag on and on. When it came to Trenna it was long past the time he accepted she was not going to change her mind. With her he had no pride.
After using the facilities, he washed his hands, determined to ignore the too familiar ache in his groin. He swore beneath his breath because his body was not listening. About now, he could use an ice-cold shower. And then what? It would be nothing more than a temporary reprieve at best.
He tried everything he could think of to get her out of his system, and nothing worked. It didn’t make sense. He asked himself a thousand and one times how he could continue to want someone who didn’t want him and still had no logical answer. Just how big of a fool was he planning to be over this woman? He needed to get over her and move on.