11

Both aroused and disheartened, Darrin was scowling when he asked, “Want to tell me what’s really going on?”

It was bad enough that she’d compared him to her late husband, now she was acting as if she regretted it already. When he got up to grab his briefs, that’s when he looked down and noticed that he’d nearly taken her again wearing a used condom. Upset, he swore.

“Don’t swear at me!”

“I’m not...” Darrin stopped abruptly, and went into the bathroom. Instead of giving into his emotions and slam the door, he closed it quietly. Telling himself he had no business feeling hurt, he got rid of the condom and washed up. When he reentered the bedroom it was empty.

He stood, silently in the center of the room taking slow, calming breaths before he reached for his clothes. He found her downstairs?, sitting on the arm of the sofa. The television was on the weather channel, the sound muted.

“Trenna, I don’t…”

She interrupted, “The snow has finally stopped. Hopefully, you won’t have a problem getting home.”

When she didn’t look his way, disappointment pierced his heart. He watched her move further away from him. Upset, he struggled to control his emotions. Shoving his hands into his pockets to keep from reaching for her, he said, “Talk to me, honey. Tell me what went wrong.”

“Not tonight. It’s late.”

“Okay. How about dinner tomorrow night? It will be my turn to entertain you.”

“No. Please, just go.”

Sighing, he dropped his head, massaging his nape. He wasn’t one to cut and run from a fight, but his instincts told him an argument would make things worse. Retrieving his jacket and then overcoat, he pulled them on. He reached for his boots rather than for Trenna. He ached for her, wanted to hold her during the night.

Judging by how tightly she held her body and the way she worried her bottom lip, he knew he was fresh out of options. It didn’t matter that he didn’t want to leave or that he ached to touch her, and to hold her during the night.

It hurt knowing she wanted him to go. For him there was nothing casual about what they’d just shared. It wasn’t a game, at least not to him. Boots on, gloves in hand, he said, “I’ll call tomor…”

“Don’t bother.”

Darrin stared at her in disbelief, a muscle jumped in his jaw as he ground his teeth together. She was deliberately pushing him away, skillfully putting barrier after barrier between them. What he still didn’t get was why?

Struggling for calm and a level-head, he said, “Spending time with you is hardly a bother. Why are you acting as if we only had a one-night-stand? As if you didn’t enjoy our lovemaking as much as I did?”

“It’s late,” she repeated but wouldn’t look at him.

Emotions bubbled inside of him. It was a struggle not to let her see what she was doing to him. “Come lock up. Sleep well.” He closed the door quietly behind him.

Darrin stood in the cold until he heard the tumbler engage and knew the deadbolt was in place. Only then did he trudge on. They had shared the most intense pleasure that he had ever experienced. No doubt, she had rocked his world. But that first release had merely taken the edge off. Once hadn’t come close to being enough. Even though his body still throbbed with need and his heart ached from disappointment, he kept moving.

The bitter cold couldn’t eliminate the desire that burned deep inside of him. They had barely gotten started then it was over. He felt as if he’d been robbed, cheated. They had made love, and already he missed her.

She had acted as if… What? What had he said…done to cause her to change? She had cut him out of her life with ruthless precision. She had lost interest, become almost cold, brutal. He swore.

What was he supposed to think? How was he supposed to go on? Pretend they hadn’t made love? Was he to act the way she had, as if they had a one-night-stand and move on? He swore again. He was a lawyer, not an actor! Resentment and bitterness combined and left an acid taste in his mouth.

Despite having been married, he quickly discovered she had a certain naiveté that had charmed him. But as he scraped the windshield free of ice and snow, he told himself none of it mattered. He had given her a ride home, helped a friend out.

Enjoying her body didn’t mean he was falling for her. Love didn’t happen overnight. Love certainly didn’t happen in a vacuum. Love had to be nurtured.

“Love!” he scoffed. He certainly hadn’t received anything that even came close to love from Trenna. She had been clear. She didn’t have room in her heart for him. That spot was taken. The sooner he accepted that the better.

Blowing on his hands to warm them, he told himself he had been lucky as he got behind the wheel. He had been lucky, escaped relatively unscarred. His heart was still whole; his hurt came from injured pride. She didn’t love him and he didn’t love her. Hurt feelings didn’t automatically translate into love. What they shared was just plain old lust.

Saturday dawned cold and crisp. Trenna was sleeping when the phone rang. She frowned. Seven-thirty? She almost didn’t answer when she saw Darrin’s name on the caller ID. But good manners prevailed. “Good morning.”

“Hi,” he said softly. “Sounds like I woke you. How did you sleep?”

“I’m fine, and you?” she said politely. She did her best to ignore the way his deep, sexy voice sent shivers racing down her spine.

“I’m better now that I’ve heard your voice.”

Because of him it had taken her hours to get to sleep. Unwilling to pretend, she asked bluntly, “Why are you calling?”

There was a heavy sigh before he said, “The roads are clear. Would you like a ride into town to pick up your car?”

“No thanks.”

“What do you mean no thanks?”

“I’ve ordered a rental car. It should be here around eleven.”

“You have time to cancel and save the expense.”

“No.”

“Trenna…”

“You don’t seem like a man who can’t accept no for an answer.”

“And you’re still upset about last night.”

“Things got out of hand. We…”

“Out of hand?” Darrin quizzed, “Trenna, we made love.”

“It was a mistake that won’t be repeated.”

“You can’t mean that,” he persisted. “Darlin’, we found pleasure in each other’s arms.”

“I’m not disputing that you are a skilled lover. It took years, but you got what you wanted last night. Congratulations. I made a mistake when I said yes. It won’t happen again. Bye.”

After hanging up she told herself that, though he had a right to disagree, she didn’t care what he thought. It was over. She was better off without him. She had made a huge mistake. It was a waste of time to think about him or dwell on what happened. With a weary sigh, she assured herself that it was best forgotten. It was over.

The Morgan twins had been racing up and down the racquetball court for the better part of an hour when yet another ball barely missed Douglas’ head.

“What’s your problem, Dar?”

Darrin didn’t respond. Instead, he turned and walked off the court.

Douglas caught up with his twin in the locker room. “You want to tell me what’s going on?”

“There’s no point,” Darrin grumbled. After unlocking his locker, he grabbed his black sweatpants.

Frowning, Douglas opened his own locker and began dressing also. His eyes never left his twin. He managed to reach the door ahead of Darrin and blocked the exit.

“You might as well tell me, because we’re not leaving here until you do.”

“Leave it alone!” As much as Darrin loved his twin this wasn’t something he could talk about…at least not now. Like an open wound, it was raw and painful. Swearing beneath his breath, he didn’t even want to think about what happened.

“Move out of the way!”

“Let me help.”

“You can’t.”

With his coat carelessly tossed over one shoulder, his gym bag in the other hand, Darrin pushed past his brother.

“Dar, wait…”

He kept right on going. If this was what a broken heart felt like, he wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. What they shared was over before it had really gotten started, and it hurt like hell. Knowing he’d done everything he could didn’t take away the pain…or the disappointment.

It didn’t matter that his self-control had been stretched to the breaking point. Evidently, being with Trenna, someone he cared about and ached to be with, had taken its toll on him. His brother wanted him to talk. How? He couldn’t put his feeling into words.

From the moment he saw Trenna, he had fallen hard and fast for her. The waiting hadn’t been easy. But, looking back, he realized it was worth it. He would gladly do it again and again. Spending time with her, being intimate with her last night, had been pure magic. It hadn’t been planned; it just happened. He hadn’t given much thought to anything, outside of pleasuring her.

Need had taken over, overwhelming all else. Trenna was as sweet as honey, her skin like silk all over her small but curvy frame. How could any man resist such beauty? He had shamelessly indulged his senses and savoring every moment of being with her and inside of her. It wasn’t until afterwards that he recognized that one taste of her sweetness was never going to be enough.

But Trenna was so much more than her looks. She was a smart, accomplished, honest woman who was, above all, loyal. There was no doubt that she was a woman with integrity. He knew going in that he cared for her. Since being intimate, his feelings had only intensified.

And he was tired of asking himself if this was love. He had no label to slap on what he felt for her. Besides, what difference would it make? She didn’t return his feelings. That fact nagged him.

His twin wanted him to talk, but what was the point? How was talking supposed to help? He couldn’t even put his feelings into words. He didn’t want to talk about how he felt. It was too painful. Besides, he had blown it with her. She made herself clear. She never wanted to see or talk to him again. He’d ruined his one shot with her. There were no words that could help that kind of devastation.

He swallowed, his throat raw with emotion. Darrin had to blink hard to clear the tears blurring his vision. Trudging halfway across the parking lot, he suddenly stopped remembering he didn’t have his car. He had left it at Douglas’ place. They’d drove to the club together. He hung his head in abject misery.

Caught up in anger and disappointment, it wasn’t until he started to shiver that he noticed the cold. Putting on his down-filled parka, he shoved his hands deep into the pockets rather than look for his gloves.

He had been trained to be an observer, to Iook at the obvious, to analyze and to sum up a situation quickly. The truth was straightforward. And it didn’t change. Yet, he couldn’t figure out what was going on in his own head and heart. How long could he continue to ignore the truth, especially when it was smacking him upside the head? It was what he loved about the law.

Unfortunately, for him, Trenna had not bothered to hide her truth. It had been clear, uncomplicated, and there from the start. She would never accept a new man in her life because she was still in love with her late husband. He had been so caught up in his own emotions and his intense response to her that he had not seen what was in front of his face.

The problem was his, not Trenna’s. No matter how much it hurt, he did not have a choice. He had to accept her truth, swallow it whole, and pray it did not choke him.

Trenna was annoyed with herself for going back to sleep. Now she had to rush to get ready or she was going to be late. She had promised Maureen that she would fill in for her at the Women’s Center. She had planned to stop for a quick visit at the hospital first.

Once the rental car had been dropped off at her place, she had no trouble getting into the city. The freeways were clear and salted, and the sun was bright overhead. There was a mountain of dirty snow pushed into the median and the sides the road was littered with abandoned cars. Unfortunately, the snow was not the only reminder of last night.

It was nearly ten by the time she reached her own office building. After a quick call to the rental agency, explaining she had left the key under the floor mat, she attacked the mound of snow covering her car. But it was not until she was inside the car with the heat blasting that she realized she was shaking. She had learned to dress in layers for the Michigan winters. But the bitter cold was not the reason for her tremors.

Even though several hours had passed since his phone call, she was still upset. No, upset was too mild a word to describe her emotions. Her responses to Darrin’s lovemaking had been so intense it scared her.

He made her feel things she had never even imagined or expected to feel. He did not suffer from inexperience. Finally, she understood why women were drawn to him like a moth to a flame.

Despite his womanizing ways there were things about him she genuinely admired. She appreciated the way he supported her work. He had gone out of his way to help with her foundation, and even introduced her to a potential sponsor.

After he’d left she had gone back to bed, but had been too restless to sleep. She could not get him out of her head. She had spent hours staring at the muted television. When she had finally settled she had been so exhausted that she was out the moment her head touched the pillow

She had dreamed about Martin. He was fifteen-years older, a friend of the family and her father’s lawyer. Because she knew him and she was comfortable with him, she had leaned on him after she lost her parents. As the executor of her father’s estate and her guardian, she would come to depend on him. When they married she had not expected their life to be problem-free. She had been a virgin on their wedding night. Unfortunately, she had not enjoyed sex but had learned to tolerate it.

During the first years of marriage she was busy with graduate school. By the time she completed her master’s degree, she could not keep up the pretense any longer. As the intimacy between them deteriorated, the verbal abuse increased. Before the accident, Trenna’s self-esteem was at its lowest. Her husband had to watch DVD’s of other women having sex in order to become aroused. And he expected her to watch with him. Even though their marriage had not worked out the way she would have liked, she had been devastated when Martin died.

After she relocated it had taken her years to rebuild her life, to prove to herself that she was smart and capable. Things were finally going the way she wanted. She did not want to mess up now. One night with Darrin should have convinced her that it was too risky to get involved with him. He made her feel too much... He made her care about him. It was a recipe for disaster.

If she were not very careful, she would fall in love with him. She did not want that. She refused to be beneath another man’s thumb. She liked making her own decisions, liked being in control of her business and her personal life. No, love was not for her. She would not repeat past mistakes. Her marriage to Martin had nearly destroyed her.

Why had she let Darrin get so close? She asked herself that question a thousand times and still did not have an answer. It had started with kisses. His kisses were deadly…utter seduction. She had not offered a single objection. His mouth should be a banned as an illegal substance.

Overwhelmed was too mild to describe her reaction when he took her into his arms. Her brain had completely switched off as her body took over. He generated incredible heat, an overwhelming need that she hadn’t known existed. Unprepared for his brand of lovemaking was an understatement; she did not have a clue. Lost in a sensuous maze, she was unable to stop while being compelled to move forward to completion. After he left she was certain she did not have feelings for him.

This morning she was unsure. Even for those few moments on the phone with him, her heart raced with excitement. She had not planned any of this. She cared for him. It was the only reason that made sense. How had it happened? She did not want to have feelings for him.

Making love had been a dreadful mistake. It had changed everything. Oh, she was not merely upset about it. She was livid and blamed him for taking advantage of a temporary weakness. What had she been thinking? How quickly she forgot that she was nothing more than a challenge to him.

But even worse, she allowed it to happen. She had said no so often that she unwittingly became a target that he could not resist. How could she have been so foolish and let him use her?

No! She blinked hard, her eyes burned from unshed tears. Never again would she allow a man to take advantage of her. She was never going to be one of those lovesick females who routinely chased after Darrin. She may not be able to change last night’s mistake, but it would never be repeated.

Hurrying inside Henry Ford Hospital, Trenna hoped for a private word with Maureen, but was disappointed. After a night in the chair beside her grandmother’s bed, Maureen had gone home to shower and get some rest. Trenna only had time for a short visit with Mrs. Hale, Maureen’s grandmother, but promised to return.

On the drive to Sheppard’s Women’s Crisis Center she frowned. She had to stop berating herself about last night. Yes, she made a mistake. That was no reason to feel sorry for herself. She was blessed.

Unlike her friends Jenna, Laura, and Sherri Ann, Trenna had not grown up in foster care. Nor was she like Maureen, who had lost her mother much too soon. Trenna had two wonderful parents who loved each other and her. They had done their best to ensure she knew she was cared for and had provided for her future. Even though there was no special man in her life, she was fine. She was thankful she wasn’t one of those women who believed she needed a man to be happy.

It did not take long to reach the Women’s Center since it was close to Wayne State University’s campus. Although the sun was shining, it was still bitterly cold, and Trenna shivered as she hurried inside.

Glad that she arrived early enough to check the room, Trenna was relieved to find the supplies were in place and the multipurpose room was ready to go. The sewing machines that had been donated for the afternoon by a local vendor were in place. The refreshment table, filled with fresh fruit, snacks, bottled water, and sodas, was also set up. Ever efficient, Maureen had taken care of things ahead of time.

“Hey, stranger,” Trenna and Sherri Ann Weber said at the same time then laughed.

Sherri Ann teased, “It’s a shame that we both work in the Morgan Building but never see each other except when we’re here for mentoring.”

The mentoring program had been developed for teen girls, in hopes of promoting high self-esteem and confidence to ensure a successful future. The girls had never been adopted or been successfully placed with a foster family, but had grown up in the foster care system. The teen girls were part of the State’s independent living program. Some of the teens lived in rooming homes or apartment buildings that were supervised and licensed by the state.

Trenna quipped, “If you’d joined the Elegant Five, we wouldn’t have this problem.”

“And when exactly do I have time for a book club meeting or reading anything other than legal briefs?” Sherri Ann was a lawyer, who worked for Morgan and Green. “The partners keep all of us associates on our toes. Speaking of partners, tell me about the rumors I’ve heard about you and my boss colliding in our lobby.”

Trenna sighed. The last person she wanted to talk about was Darrin Morgan. “It’s no rumor, it’s true. I was not paying attention and got off the elevator on the wrong floor. Unfortunately, I ran into Darrin and nearly bounced off him. Embarrassing, but let’s talk about something pleasant. How’s Laura?”

Sherri Ann beamed. “She’s glowing. Jenna and I saw her last weekend. She could not be happier.”

“That’s great!” Trenna exclaimed.

Laura Murdock Kramer started the mentoring program when she was a social worker at the Women’s Center. Both Maureen and her grandmother had embraced the idea from its concept. They generously offered the use of the Women’s Center activity room.

Trenna had always admired Laura. Besides being a former member of the Elegant Five Book Club, Laura was smart, hard-working, and determined to help others. She strongly believed that teen girls needed positive, adult influences in their lives. Two years ago, she had designed the highly successful mentoring program.

Laura, and her two best friends, Sherri Ann and Jenna Gains Hendricks, had grown up in the foster care system. Like the girls they mentored, they had never been adopted. But unlike the teen girls in independent living program, Laura, Sherri Ann, and Jenna were fortunate to have been raised by Mrs. Frances Green, a warm, loving older woman. Early on the three had adopted each other and became foster sisters, and over the years they remained close. All three were well-educated, highly successful women.

When it came time to find mentors, Laura wisely recruited her friends, book club members, as well as the Center’s staff. Since its onset, Sherri Ann and Jenna had volunteered. Like Laura, they wanted to give back.

The mentoring sessions were on the first and third Saturday afternoons of the month. Thanks to community support and generous donations, scholarships were established for the girls who would be graduating from high school with plans to further their education.

To everyone’s surprised, last year while on a vacation to the Caribbean, Laura met and fell in love with Wilham Kramer, the man of her dreams. Wilham, hotel mogul and artist, swept her off her feet. They married, currently lived in Chicago, and were expecting their first child. As a wedding present, Wilham became the major contributor to their scholarship fund.

Trenna stood in for Maureen and greeted everyone with smile. But as soon as she spotted Grace Brooks, she started to feel guilty even though she knew she’d done her best to help and support Grace emotionally. But it hadn’t been enough. Trenna was relieved when Grace gave her warm hug.

Maureen and Trenna had been in the courtroom when Grace had pointed out Todd Marks as her rapist. The three were devastated when the jury came back with the not-guilty verdict. Because of Darrin Morgan’s superior skill in the courtroom, Grace’s rapist had walked away a free man.

Grace regularly volunteered at the Center, even though Maureen was no longer her rape counselor. Grace often joined Maureen and Trenna for dinner and a movie.

Maureen had kicked off the belt-making project by taking the girls shopping at the fabric store. They excitedly picked out the cloth and notions. Some of the girls had also purchased material for matching skirts. They planned to wear their creations on a supervised outing to the theater. They all seemed to be excited and looking forward to the event.

It was a blessing that Vanessa Grant Prescott, dress designer and bridal shop owner, was a mentor. She showed the girls how to cut out the patterns and use the sewing machines. Vanessa married Ralph Prescott, ex-NBA player and businessman, and was a close friend and fellow book club member.

Trenna took a seat in the back of the room beside Sherri Ann and Jenna. She didn’t realize she was tense until she nearly jumped out of her skin when Amber squealed with laughter.

“Look! Look!” she yelled, holding up a nearly finished belt. The other girls were ooohing and aaahing while the mentors clapped enthusiastically.

“You okay?” Jenna whispered.

Sherri Ann interrupted, “Are you worried about Mrs. Hale?”

Trenna shook her head. “Mrs. Hale is doing well. They don’t think it’s her heart, but she had to stay overnight at the hospital.”

“If nothing’s wrong, then why are you shaking like a leaf?”

“I’m cold,” Trenna said, rubbing her hands up and down the sleeves of her cardigan. “No matter how many layers I put on, I can’t get used to your Michigan winters.”

“Silk long johns,” Sherri Ann said.

“Forget that, you both need what Vanessa and I have,” Jenna said. “A husband to snuggle with. There is nothing like it.”

Both married ladies giggled as if Jenna had told a joke.

“To each his own poison,” Sherri Ann rolled her eyes. Like Trenna, she was also single.

Trenna frowned. Busy pretending last night never happen, she didn’t want to think about Darrin. She certainly didn’t want to remember the pleasure she found in his arms. She wouldn’t be surprised if Sherri Ann had seen her boss in action. Everyone in the building knew about Darrin’s reputation as a first-class womanizer. Evidently, Trenna had temporarily lost her mind when she slept with him. She vowed that it was a mistake that she would never repeat.

“Look, Ms. Trenna!”.

“It’s gorgeous!”

Trenna hadn’t hesitated to hire the girl. Tasha was in the first group of girls being mentored to graduate from high school and enter college or a vocational school. Tasha was a hard worker. Trenna was impressed that, in addition to her work at the nursery school, Amber was a full-time student at Wayne State. She was on the dean’s list, never late for work, and managed to get everything done. Somehow, she also found time to encourage the younger girls by volunteering at the Women’s Center. Most remarkable, she was doing it on her own, without the benefit of parents or family to fall back on.

That first group of successes had strengthened Maureen and Laura’s dedication to the mentoring project. Determined to expand, the two had met several times during the summer and in the autumn. Neither was going to let a little thing like living in different states keep them from reaching as many teen girls as possible through the independent living program.

Vanessa, Jenna, Sherri Ann, and Trenna had gone with Maureen to meet Laura for a ladies weekend of shopping and fun in the Windy City.

“Mine is the prettiest!” Ginger Langston boasted.

“No mine!” someone else shouted.

The excitement was contagious, judging by the way the normally reserved Grace was beaming. It was good to see. Grace had been through so much and had worked hard to get her life back on track.

It might not make sense to anyone else, but Trenna couldn’t help resenting Darrin for his part in getting Marks off. Nor could she stop feeling guilty for what she had done: sleeping with the enemy. She’d made a huge mistake! Seeing Grace made her feel like a traitor. She should have never gotten involved with Darrin Morgan!

Grace was Trenna’s friend and she was bound to be upset when she learned the truth. Darrin had done his job, but there was no denying that he was the reason Todd Marks was walking the streets. Because Marks was a free man, Grace no longer felt safe in her own home and had been forced to move.

Trenna sighed. Why had Darrin taken the case? He was already very successful. He didn’t need the notoriety or the money. So why? Was it because Marks came from wealth? Or was Marks an old friend? Maybe it had been about ego, and Darrin had set out to prove he was smarter than the head prosecutor on the case was.

“Your turn, Vanessa!” Grace prompted.

Vanessa nodded, then went up to the front to show the girls samples of beadwork that had been done on lace, denim, and leather that might be added to a neckline, hem, or cuff.

Trenna frowned, upset with herself. Instead of being involved with the girls, she was wasting time thinking about Darrin. Why couldn’t she forget? Her response to him was intense, unlike anything she had ever experienced. She hated admitting that she wanted him. Only it had been a huge mistake.

Full of remorse, her conscience nagged at her, a reminder that she was God’s child and must do the right thing. Lying by omission served no purpose and changed nothing. She needed to speak to Grace and be honest.