James O’Loghlin is one of Australia’s most respected corporate speakers, corporate comedians and media personalities, best known as the host of more than 300 episodes of The New Inventors on ABC TV, and for his programs on ABC Local Radio. His novel for children, The Adventures of Sir Roderick, the Not-Very Brave, won the Speech Pathology Australia award for the best novel for 8 to 10 year olds.

James,

Listen. You spend way too much time worrying about what people think about you. You think that whatever you do is assessed and analysed, and that if you do anything silly, stupid, clumsy or awkward, they’ll be onto you.

Guess what? No one is watching your every move. They really aren’t. In fact, apart from your family, no one thinks about you much at all. I’ll prove it. Think of someone in your class. How long do you spend thinking about them every day? Hardly any time at all, right? And that’s how long they, and everyone else, spend thinking about you. They’re all too busy thinking about themselves. And that’s a good thing, because it means that you don’t have to worry so much about trying to live up to their expectations.

So try to relax. In your teens you become self-conscious. You get scared of making a fool of yourself, but that fear can stop you having new experiences and throwing yourself into things. Whether it’s footy or cricket or drama, you sometimes think that the safest thing is not to have a go at all because you’re scared of looking stupid.

Have a go! Don’t miss out. There’s lots on offer, so jump into it. If you find you’re no good at something, that’s okay. You can either practise and get better at it, or try something else.

Remember this. Mostly, if someone is good at something, it just means they have done it a lot. With practice, you can get good at almost anything.

Try to think less and do more. When you catch yourself worrying about stuff, distract yourself. Read a book, talk to a friend, do some exercise, write, whatever. But don’t sit there endlessly analysing yourself.

Hassle your parents to get you a guitar and either get lessons, or a book you can teach yourself from. Get a yoga book and do 20 minutes of yoga every day. Just do. It’s good for everything – fitness, discipline and feeling good about yourself.

Do more sport. Don’t worry about whether you’re good at it, or whether you’re going to get hurt, just stop thinking and throw yourself into it.

If something goes wrong or you do something stupid, don’t panic. In a week no one will remember it. Even adults can’t tell you what was on the front page of the paper a week ago.

To be honest, you’re not going to really feel that you know what you should be doing until you discover stand-up comedy in about 11 years’ time, so until then you might as well just be nice to people, do your homework, throw yourself into things and find as many things as you can that you enjoy.

And don’t watch too much television! Seriously, you might think Dallas is good, but in 30 years Breaking Bad will blow your mind!

All the best,

Older James