Matt Tilley is a Melbourne-born radio presenter and comedian, and is currently the co-host of Matt & Meshel – In the Morning on KIIS FM. In the highly competitive field of FM breakfast radio in Melbourne, Matt’s shows have consistently reached number one more often than any other over the past decade.

First, the bad news.

Your legs still rub together, your nostrils are still uneven and your arms are still so short they don’t kink at the elbows when you put them in your pockets. But despite all those years of not wearing cords because of the noise they generated (banned from the library, how embarrassing!) and never being photographed with your head back in case people discovered your nasal asymmetry, you found that putting your hands in your pockets became one of the great joys in life – largely because it meant you were paying for somebody’s treat and that usually put a smile on their face. So that was the great lesson – learning that making other people happy was a pretty good antidote for your insecurities. (Okay, so that kind of suggests money can buy happiness, but this is me writing this letter – not Jesus!) Because you have a short attention span I’m going to cram as much into some punchy thoughts as I can.

You’re probably going to find out sooner or later that your real friends tell you the things you need to hear and the people who will fall away are the ones who tell you what you want to hear. And yes, it hurts. Because they are your friends and you want them to think everything about you is fantastic. But having relationships where people can be completely honest with you is what makes you stronger. And it also means that when they do say nice things, it REALLY means something.

No doubt people keep telling you that you shouldn’t worry about what other people think. Be yourself. Be true to what you want to do. But in the end you’ll realise that caring about what other people think can sometimes give you reason to stop and think. It probably makes you a bit more considerate of other people. And it probably gives you a bit of perspective. Particularly if there is a bit of a theme developing when it comes to all those external opinions. One person might be an idiot, two might be a coincidence, but three and it’s probably you who are the problem. Four … well, you should probably leave the country.

Okay, I can see your concentration waning and can hear your social media calling. I’ll speed it up. And keep it random. People don’t always love the person who’s best at a sport – sometimes it’s the hopeless one who tries the hardest or who is the biggest underdog (in hindsight, this makes you a sporting God!). The best laughs you will share will be about times when things go wrong. No one ever sits around laughing about the time things went perfectly. But nobody ever thinks this while things ARE going wrong. Try to. Regret of not having tried something lasts forever but pimples don’t. No one ever likes kissing someone who’s just had a cigarette. If you really want to do something, you will – even if you don’t get the marks straight away. (You won’t even get into your law course at first and then it will take 11 years … and then you’ll never use it.) Girlfriends (or boyfriends) don’t make you a better or more complete person. Crying is not stupid. Different is not wrong. And finally, the funniest thing your parents can hear is, ‘You don’t understand – you have no idea what I’m going through!’ They are SO annoying.