I clutched Darren’s back, wiping the sweat from my brow. Something was wrong with me. My elbow ached and I’d been running a fever for hours. I knew it, and I suspected Darren had become aware of the change in my health status as well.
I really didn’t want Deacon to know. Since the Vampire incident days earlier, he’d been so happy, so sure of everything being wonderful.
The fact the antibiotics were no longer working on me would come as a huge blow to him. I took a deep breath. It wasn’t as if I wanted to die but I’d had an expectation of my imminent demise for months. I should have expired with the Wolves. These additional days counted as a bonus for me.
“You okay, Rachel?” Darren kept his voice down when he spoke to me. Whether this was because he also understood about the need not to destroy Deacon’s recently found positivity or because he tried to keep the news private, I didn’t know. Either way worked for me.
“No.” I gripped his shirt tighter. “I’m not doing well.”
“I suspected as much. You’ve become a furnace behind me. Taking your medication?”
I nodded, not that he could see me. “I am. But my elbow hurts. I think it’s infected.”
“We’re probably about two to three days out from Genesis. They’ll have different medications there, won’t they? Were you guys in possession of antibiotics there?”
“Some.” Not many. Medicine hadn’t traveled through time very well. Except for what Andon and Icahn stashed. Maybe they’d uncovered hoards of it now. Who knew?
“It might just mean you need a change of drugs. Not all bacteria reacts the same to every course of drugs”
I nodded. “Your medic training again?”
“Funny how it’s all of a sudden mattering again.”
Life had a way of bringing on our particular skill sets into play when we didn’t expect to have to use them. “Do you mind talking to me for a while?”
I hated the idea of being this close to Genesis and not making it. I shivered. Darren said I felt like a furnace but the air slapped coldly against my skin, like we’d suddenly stepped into the arctic. Couldn’t be a good sign. Distraction seemed the name of the game.
“Sure.” He hoisted me up a little farther on his back. I had to be weighing on him. Days of carrying me must be too much. I might foolishly have tried to walk yesterday. Today, I couldn’t do anything even close. “What do you want to talk about?”
Infection killed more of us than Werewolves. The irony of me dying of one was not lost on me.
“I don’t know anything about your life Before.” I cleared my throat. “I feel like I should.”
Who was this man who so quietly shuttled me across the country on his back? We’d been together for weeks and weeks. It might even be months, for all I could keep track of time. He’d taken care of me at Redemption, fought beside me, watched me sleep cryogenically, forced me into the freezing chamber to begin with, worked for Icahn both Before and After, and apparently had medical training.
My days of ambiguous feelings about him had passed. I liked him, even if I shouldn’t. Deacon seemed to as well. But who was Darren? I wanted to know.
“So long ago. I hardly remember.”
“Oh, come on. Indulge a dying girl.”
He shook his head. “I can’t let you die, Rachel.”
“Why not? I’ve always wondered. Why me, Darren? With everyone involved in all this crap, why bother with me? How did you decide I was worthy?”
He sighed, his back muscles clenching. “You reminded me of my sister. She died a year before it all went to hell. Dr. Icahn had been working on a treatment for her. She had a disease no one could seem to diagnose. Lots of symptoms adding up to nothing. Fifteen years old. She finally just didn’t wake up one morning.”
I really never had any idea what to say to people about things like this. My mother had always replied perfectly. For a second, I pretended to be her. She had a way of saying exactly what she should, whereas I bumbled through life making a mess of things. “I’m so sorry for your loss. It must have been awful for your whole family.”
“It was.” He nodded. “But I was the only family she had. Our parents had died in a small plane accident years earlier. Anyway, you reminded me of her right off. Spunky, smart, not a quitter. I decided I wouldn’t fail you like I’d failed her.”
“Darren, you aren’t responsible for disease. You can’t blame yourself for her getting sick and dying. It wasn’t on your shoulders.”
He shrugged. “She was mine to take care of. If I’d found Dr. Icahn sooner and worked out a deal sooner, then we could have tried more things.”
“What kind of a deal?” My heart picked up, and my eyes burned. I should never have had this conversation with him. I’d wanted distraction, not more things to worry about.
That was the problem with really getting to know people; you really knew them. Once you cared, you couldn’t undo it.
“I worked for him as security, doing what he wanted, he’d try to save her. Whatever else he didn’t do or actually did, he tried with her. Day and night. I watched.”
Darren’s sister had probably temporarily interested the man. A problem to be solved and then later exploited.
“What was her name? Your sister?” I didn’t want to know her only as Darren’s sister. She should be remembered for whom she had been.
“Colbie.” I could hear the smile in his voice when he said it. “Colbie Belle.”
“Pretty.”
He nodded, the muscles in the back of his neck moving as he did. “Yep.”
“Darren, if I die you’re, not responsible for it. Do you understand? It pains me to admit this, but even Dr. Icahn can’t be blamed for all of this. This ride we’re all on, it took off without any of our consent, and it’s going to crash and burn. If I get thrown off a little bit early, it’s not on you.”
“I want you to live, Rachel. I want to see you delivered to Genesis. I want to think of you living there, having a life, making the best of this mess.”
“Well.” I bit down on my lip. “We’ll both do our best, then, to see it happens. But just in case, you should know you bear no responsibility for any of it.”
My elbow throbbed, and I closed my eyes.
***
“She doesn’t look well.”
I stared up at Deacon. Even he couldn’t be fooled forever. By the next evening, he’d noticed my state of illness.
“Thanks, honey,” I answered, cutting off Darren. “You always say the sweetest things to me. How did I ever do without you?”
He ignored me, putting his hand on my forehead. “You’re burning up.”
Darren nodded, settling down next to me. “I’m aware.”
Deacon hit him in the arm. “Why is she burning up? Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Which one of those questions would you like me to answer first?”
Deacon threw his hands in the air. “Take your pick.”
“She’s burning up because the antibiotics we have are not getting the job done.” Darren yawned. “I didn’t tell you because you yelling at her about it and making her worry about you will not make her better.”
Deacon’s lips opened and shut twice before he spoke. “We have to get to Genesis. They must have better drugs.”
“Deacon—”
Darren interrupted me. “She’s going to tell you this isn’t your fault and you shouldn’t blame yourself for what’s going to happen.” I looked at Darren and couldn’t help the laugh escaping my mouth. There really was amusement to be found in this whole thing. Perverse, maybe, but it was there.
Darren continued to talk. “We can’t push the whole group to Genesis tonight. Your sisters will never make it but, actually, I contemplated taking her on ahead. Walking all night.”
I sighed. “You’ll never make it, Superman. Sorry to burst your bubble but you’re human just like the rest of us.”
Deacon stared at me. “What did you say?”
“It’s ‘Superman.’ A comic book character and movie character and TV character you’ve never seen. Sorry for the confusion.”
He waved his hand in the air. “I actually know who Superman is.
When I was reprogrammed, Icahn gave me some pop culture. I don’t miss every reference anymore.”
“Then what was your question?” My head ached. I wanted to close my eyes and sleep for a year. He had to be more specific if he expected answers. Unless I’d lost touch with reality altogether.
“It was something you said. Darren is just human. He can’t carry you all night.”
“Right.” I yawned. “And you didn’t understand why?”
“Oh I got it all right.” He grinned. “Stay here with her, Darren. No sticks used for fighting Vamps tonight. I have an idea. I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”
Deacon scampered off. I looked at Darren. “Do you have any idea what he’s about?”
“No.” He shrugged. “I could be Superman tonight if you need it.”
“You rest.” I patted his leg. I was going to sleep whether I wanted to or not. My eyes closed.
***
Deacon shook me awake. I opened my eye to glare at him. “I was sleeping. Can’t you let me die in peace?”
“No.” He grinned. “Because I have managed quite a feat.”
“What?”
Darren moved into my view. “Well, Deacon did the hard work, but we all worked on the end result together.”
“Guys, my muddled brain is not following what you said.” I really just wanted to go back to sleep. That was when my Werewolf signal went off. I doubled over. Goose bumps everywhere. Man, it sucked.
“There are Wolves nearby.”
Deacon nodded. “I know. I brought two of them here.”
“I….” Really, I had no idea what I would have said. His words stunned me. “Why?”
Did they think to spare me more pain? Was I to be finished off by the Wolf? Were they…? I shook my head. Those thoughts didn’t feel like my own. They were unreasonable panic, manifesting itself where it shouldn’t be. I controlled what I thought about, not the other way around.
My friends wouldn’t hurt me.
“Because they are going to take you back to Genesis. On their backs.”
I had ridden on Werewolves before but they were all monsters, I knew. Deacon wanted me to climb on one and just trust it to do as I asked?
Darren picked me up and brought me to where the two Wolves were chained to a tree. They had both been harnessed—well, a makeshift version to the say the least—using rope and cloth. Two of Deacon’s sisters held machetes up against the monsters’ necks.
“They gave us no trouble.”
“Because they know what’s going to happen if they don’t play along. Right, you disgusting beast?”
My heart thudded hard. “I don’t know if I can get on it.” My hands shook. “The last time I encountered one, it nearly ate me alive.”
Darren shook his head. “You’re going with me. You’re going to hang on my back. I’m going to control the Wolfie. You can do it.”
His confidence in me outweighed my belief in myself. I gulped. “I don’t know.”
Darren patted me on the back. “You can, Rachel. This is how we get you help in time to save you. To see Chad again, you can do this.”
He was right. There was nothing I wouldn’t do for one more glance or conversation with Chad Lyons. One more view of Genesis. The chance to go home.
***
I gripped Darren, who leaned forward, holding his machete against the Werewolf’s throat. Behind us, Deacon’s mount growled. If there was such a thing as a more tame version of the two, Darren and I had it. Deacon’s liked to vocalize. Briefly, I wondered what they’d look like as humans, if they shifted.
I turned to look at Deacon. He grinned at me. I had to admit, this ranked as a pretty good idea. Plus, it felt good to be getting the best of a pair of Wolves, even if they weren’t the ones who’d abused me. Given the chance, they would have.
How Deacon had managed this would have to be told. I coughed into my sleeve, shocked, when I looked down, to see I’d spit up blood. I lowered my arm and wiped at my face.
I didn’t want them to know. Not yet. I really didn’t want to die on the back of the Werewolf when I was so close to Genesis. Not yet.
My head pounded.
I closed my eyes and rested my head on Darren’s back. Somehow, I had to make it.
***
“Rachel.”
I tried to open my lids but I couldn’t. Darren said my name more forcefully. My arm had gone from horrible pain to completely numb.
“We’re here. Deacon went down to get help.”
That was good.
***
I don’t know how long I was sick. I’m not even entirely clear how they healed me. They had medicine from Icahn’s supplies. I know that now. Then, I knew nothing at all. I didn’t visit Jason, Keith, and the high school in my dreams. I just had nothing but blackness.
Occasionally, I would hear something, but like an echo it passed through me and disappeared. Then one day the light came back. It hurt my lids.
“Rachel.” I knew that voice. I’d craved hearing it again. “Wake up. Come back to me.”
There was nothing I wouldn’t do for Chad. Opening my eyes proved easy even though I couldn’t have attempted it before then.
I stared at him. At first all I could see was a blob of various colors that didn’t seem to want to form a shape. But eventually Chad’s features appeared before me. An exhausted, haggard Chad.
He blinked rapidly. “Are you here?”
I reached out to touch the side of his face. “Are you?”
He closed his eyes for a second and then opened them. Reaching out, he grabbed my hand. With a speed that surprised me, he planted kisses on my fingers.
“I really didn’t think you’d be waking up again. No one was sure. It was like torture but I knew you wouldn’t be returned to me only to die. I just knew life could not be so cruel.”
It could be but I wasn’t going to argue. I felt so good being able to look at him.
My throat scratched. Talking wouldn’t be as easy as adoring him with my gaze. He looked to his left and picked up a water glass sitting there. The brown container held a straw he placed on my lips.
I sipped and my voice returned. “I wanted to get home. So badly.”
“Deacon filled us in on what happened to you.” He gripped my hand so tight his knuckles turned white. I would have complained but I liked the contact. I’d take it any way I could get it.
“Yeah…it was a time.” I really didn’t know what to say about it. How could I describe what it had felt like to live in hell?
“You know, I thought you were dead, that they had killed you right away, or I would have come looking for you. I never would have left you alone. I would have found you somehow.”
“Chad.” I pulled my hand out. At this point, it was painful. He looked down, and realization dawned across his face. He took my fingers back, kissing them again.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
“It’s okay.” I smiled. “You didn’t. Not really.”
“Rachel.” He shook his head. “I thought you were dead.”
“I almost was.”
We stared at one another. There was so much to say and yet I couldn’t find the words to utter even one sentence. Finally, emotion poured out. “I love you.”
A tear slipped from his eyes. “I never understood it, not really. How you could have bargained with Icahn for my life. It was awesome but I thought, hell, I’m not worth so much effort. And then you were dead. I couldn’t do anything about it.”
I sucked in my breath. “Chad—”
“I understood. I would have done anything, used any means available to me, to cheat your death. You’re here. I feel like I won some kind of lottery. One-in-a-billion chance and you’re here.”
“I shouldn’t have left. I shouldn’t have made any deal with Andon.” I’d wanted to say this and I had to before the universe took away my chance. “I made a mistake. You’re right. I don’t get to play with my life anymore like it’s just my own.”
He shook his head. “I should never have picked a fight right before you had to go off and I should have figured something out with you instead.”
“So you forgive me?”
He kissed me, his lips warm and so familiar. I closed my eyes, loving the feel of his hot breath on my mouth. “You’re going to be my wife. You have me wrapped around your finger. I could never stay mad. Certainly not now.”
I lifted my bad arm. “It still hurts.”
“I imagine it will for a long time.”
“Right. It’s like my near-death punishment for a dumb decision.”
“Scoot over.” I managed to move so he could lie down with me. “I have to get my Rachel-time. Your parents will be in soon. All your friends. Everyone is here all the time. It’s amazing we were left alone this long.”
I curled up against his side. “This is all I wanted, Chad. One more chance at this.”
Life didn’t usually give me what I wanted, but this time it had. I’d treasure every second of it.