Chapter Twenty-Four

Jake

We didn’t speak in the car. My head hurt too damn much, and I didn’t want to trip over my words after what she’d just said.

I love you, Jake.

She’d bellowed the words, and they still echoed in my throbbing head. But most amazing of all, I hadn’t panicked. There’d been no freak-out, no frantic desire to run away, just the steady throb of this fucking headache. And the acute ache in my ribs when I breathed.

I had questions to ask her. What had happened at work? Why had she decided to proclaim her love out loud now? At four in the morning, at Pops’s house? How stupid was that? But most of all, I needed to figure out what I wanted to say back.

Did I love her?

I had so many emotions fighting to answer that, I couldn’t handle it. A riot of noise rose in my head to go with the throbbing and aching that spiked with every shift in the car. Slowing for a stop sign, I closed my eyes and tried not to throw up. Once we sped up, I exhaled slowly and pressed down with my arms to keep my ribs straight.

When had the pain gotten so bad? Right now, it felt excruciating.

Ellie managed everything once we got to the hospital. She whispered to the people on staff, and got me into an interior room before I could pull out my insurance card. Then there was an argument with some young man in a lab coat. Was he a doctor? I couldn’t tell. But she stood there with her arms folded and spoke firmly to him. It must have worked. He nodded smartly to her before walking to my bedside and pulling the curtain closed behind him.

I couldn’t see her then, but he was there asking questions, writing down stuff. And as I answered, I started thinking about her. Way back at the barbecue, she’d caught my attention. She had that sweet, wholesome look that I couldn’t resist, but she’d been shy and nervous. But that’s not the Ellie I saw tonight. She’d been fierce as she spoke to Pops, efficient with the nurses, and relentless with the doctor. She’d been completely in control, and I loved it.

In my family, I was the responsible one, balancing training, games, my family, and the media. But not this time. This time, I was relying on her. And she was here for me.

I loved her.

The words whispered through my brain. Quiet words, over and over, but they echoed with increasing strength.

I loved Ellie.

I was in love with Ellie.

How easy it was to finally admit that. And how ridiculous that I had fought it so hard before. Why? Because when other people had said the words, they hadn’t meant it? Because my father was a drunk and my family a disaster? Those were stupid reasons to run from the best thing that had ever happened to me. I loved her, and I was not going to waste another moment before I told her.

If only I could find her. I tried to get out of bed, but a burly orderly put me in a wheelchair instead and took me upstairs for a scan.

I looked for her as we moved through the hallways, but I didn’t see her. I heard her voice, though. She was talking in cool tones. The rhythms of her words were there, a steady counterpoint to other loud voices. Pops. Larry. When had they gotten here? I heard them talking but blocked them out.

Ellie was keeping them away, and I was so grateful. She was standing guard, protecting me.

The hours flew by in a kind of otherworld place. People talked to me, but I barely listened. If it wasn’t Ellie, then I didn’t care. The diagnosis was clear. I had a diaphragmatic rupture that had gotten infected. The tear had likely happened during the fire. I’d hit my ribs really hard on the railing. At the time, everyone had been worried about my ribs, but they’d heal. They hadn’t noticed the simple tear in the diaphragm beneath my ribs. In fact, it wouldn’t have even shown up on a scan. Normally, it wouldn’t be a big deal. It would heal, given time.

Only I hadn’t given it the chance. I’d kept it from healing by working out too hard. By struggling with my father in a bar. By carrying his useless ass up the stairs to his bed. And then, eventually, it got infected. And even that wouldn’t have been such a big problem…unless it was ignored. Which is exactly what I had been doing.

I was given antibiotics. Narcotics for the pain. But what I really needed was Ellie.

Where was she?

I started to get upset. I had to see her, but the more I asked, the more nonsense I heard. She was doing paperwork. She was explaining things to my family. And most incredibly, she was talking to the hospital administrator.

What the hell? But every time I started fighting, someone would come in to talk to me. First it was nurses telling me to rest. Then it wasn’t just the ER doctor, but the team doc as well. I had to pay attention to him. He made me promise to rest for a day in the hospital until my fever came down. And then there would be more medical discussions. But everyone was clear—there was no threat to my baseball career. I’d be 100 percent fine once the infection cleared.

Great, but where was Ellie?

They transferred me to a hospital room where Gia was waiting. She wasn’t the woman I wanted to see. She said she’d keep the press away, that this wouldn’t be a story unless I wanted it to become one. I didn’t even bother to answer. I looked at her and said one word.

“Ellie.”

She sighed and shook her head. “She’s in trouble with her boss. She said she’d come as soon as she could.”

Damn it, that’s not what I wanted to hear. So I pushed back the sheet on the bed. Gia squeaked in alarm, but I was too busy looking for a way to unhook the IV from my arm. I wasn’t going to search the hospital while connected to that thing, and I also wasn’t going to do it with my bare ass hanging out of this gown.

“Where the hell are my clothes?”

“Get back in bed!” Gia snapped.

“Not until I talk to Ellie.”

“If you go wandering around looking for her, who do you think will get in trouble? She will, Jake. So get your ass back in bed.”

No way in hell. I had to see Ellie, but…damn it, I didn’t want to make things worse for her.

“What do you want to say to her, anyway?”

It was none of her business. I meant to tell her that, but instead, different words came out. Humiliating words, but the truth nevertheless.

“I don’t know!”

Well, that was idiotic, and Gia’s arched look told me she agreed.

“Find her,” I growled.

It took her a while, but eventually she nodded. “I will if you lie here and let the antibiotics do their job.” Then for emphasis, she pointed at a number on a monitor beside my bed: 101.3 degrees. Hell, is that why I felt like crap?

“You’ve got until it’s under a hundred,” I grumbled. “Then I’m going to find her and nobody will stop me.”

“Even if it gets her fired?”

I winced. Well, maybe not then. “Just—”

“I’m going. You stay here.”

I crossed my arms and fell backward. Then I remembered what I was supposed to be doing and focused on trying to lower my temperature. Except how the hell was I supposed to do that? Think cool thoughts? Ice. Snow. Arctic temperature. Ellie in a fur bikini dancing in the snow.

Now that was an image I could hold on to. Except once it was in my head, the fantasy continued, with the delightful woman hopping off her dogsled and propping a hand on her hip.

“Well?” she asked. “What are you going to say to me?”

“Shut up,” I growled, not to her, but to the voices in my head that echoed her question, over and over. I had a zillion voices banging around in my skull. What was I going to say to her? What did I want?

Simple questions, but they scared the hell out me. Damn it. For all Ellie’s talk about being terrified of rejection, she was the strong one. She had all the courage that I lacked. After everything I’d done, she’d still put her feelings on the line, twice now. She’d stood up to Pops when I had given up fighting. And—

My thoughts were cut off when my brother came into the room. I frowned at him, wishing he were someone else.

“Hey,” he said, and I forced myself to look at him.

“Have you seen Ellie?” I asked.

He shook his head. “Not for a while.”

Damn, he looked like shit. “You coming off a bad shift at the firehouse?”

He shrugged. “Not so bad. What sucked was Pops calling me and telling me you were dying.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not dying. I’m just—”

“Sick, feverish, and in the hospital.” He shuffled closer to the bed. “Look, I’ve been angry with you for a while now, but that’s dumb. It’s not your fault you got talent.”

My fault? I snorted. “I worked hard to be where I am.”

“Yeah,” he echoed dully. “You did.” He stepped the last inch to the side of the bed. “I’m sorry.”

Really? That was…a surprise. But he looked like he meant it. And the idea that we could be real brothers again was so startlingly wonderful that I managed a smile. Not an Ellie-is-here smile, but a good one nonetheless.

“Yeah,” I said. “Thanks for mowing Pops’s lawn. I know I promised I’d do it.”

My brother grinned, just like he had back when we were kids. “It was the least I could do.” And just like that, we were okay. He was sorry, and I was too glad to have him back to care about the rest. Especially when I figured out what had caused my brother’s change of heart. Ellie.

“Did Ellie chew you out?”

He ducked his chin. “Not really. She just glared at me and Pops real hard, saying she didn’t like us much because of how we’ve been treating you. It’s a hard thing to have a woman like her say she didn’t like me. Damn hard.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “Damn hard.” And I swore right there that she’d never have cause to say that to me. Ever.

“You ready?” Larry asked, his voice anxious, and I frowned in confusion.

“For what?”

“Pops.”

I groaned, but Larry squeezed my hand.

“It won’t be bad. I swear.”

That was a promise neither of us could keep, but I took it with the newfound hope I’d gained from my brother. He wasn’t angry at me anymore. If Larry could give up his anger, then maybe Pops could change, too. So I nodded, and Larry went to open the door and gestured our father in.

Pops walked in, his head dropped and his gaze darting everywhere but at me. I recognized the drunk’s walk of shame.

“Pops?” He was pale, his eyes still bloodshot and his hands twisted around something.

“Sorry it took so long for us to come see you,” he said. “I had to get something first. ’Cause…” His voice trailed away, but when I just held his gaze, he stumbled into speech again. “I just had to.”

“We both did,” Larry said firmly. And when I looked at him, he shrugged. “I got some, too. I think it’ll… I think I’m going to give it a shot. A good shot, because I need to. For me.”

“And me,” Pops said.

They were talking in circles, and I was missing Ellie too much to tolerate it. “What are you blathering about?” I asked.

Pops swallowed and then abruptly opened his hand. Nestled in his palm was a pill bottle. I leaned forward, and he lifted it up to show me what it said.

Naltrexone. The pill that had worked wonders for me and had helped so many others kick alcoholism.

“You’re going to start taking it?”

Pops and Larry both nodded.

“You know it’s not going to fix things alone, right? You know—”

“We know,” Larry said, and Pops picked up the thread.

“We’ve got a plan. I came up with it the last time I tried this. But I didn’t mean it then. I do now.”

I studied them both. Larry had never tried to get sober before, but Pops certainly had. Or rather, he’d given lip service to trying. It might be the fever, but this time I actually believed them. Something was different this time. They both seemed like they were serious.

“Because of what Ellie said? That she didn’t like you?”

Pops looked away. Larry shrugged. In the end, it was my brother who put a hand on Pops’s shoulder and explained.

“You aren’t the only one with a woman in your life,” he said. “My girl just told me to cut ties with the booze. All of it. Or else.”

I knew that talk. Mom had had it with Pops a dozen times before she finally left.

“She mean it? She dumping you if you don’t—” Pops asked.

“Doesn’t matter. I don’t like me when I’m drinking around her. So I’m stopping.”

“That’s great—” I said, but Pops interrupted.

“And I won’t give up either of you. So if I have to choose—”

“You do,” Larry said. And when they looked at me, I nodded. I couldn’t keep doing this—trying to keep my father alive while he drank himself to death. I was done. I had to be, because I didn’t think Ellie would put up with it much longer.

“Then I’m stopping, too,” Pops said as he gripped the naltrexone. “Larry and me are going to meetings together. And we’re talking to someone.” He smiled at me. “I mean it this time, Jake. I really do.”

I believed him. I believed them both. And the odds of their success went up with every second I supported them. “I’ll help—” I added, but both men shook their heads.

“You’ve done plenty. And I told your woman that I won’t see you again unless I’m sober. And so that’s what it’s got to be.”

Good God, how had quiet, nervous Ellie wrought such a change in my family? I couldn’t believe it, and yet I was looking at the proof. “You’ll still need help,” I said. “It won’t hurt me to go to the meetings with you.”

And so it was agreed. And then a miracle happened.

Ellie walked in.

Her steps were brisk, her hand motions sure, but her eyes darted about the room searching everyone’s faces in quick succession. Then her gaze hopped to the monitor and back to me.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like I’ve been waiting all night long to see you.” I sounded a little desperate, but she didn’t seem to mind.

“Your fever’s down,” she said as she gestured with her chin toward the monitor.

I didn’t look. I was too busy searching her face. And when Larry and Pops shuffled their feet and muttered something about going to look for coffee, I didn’t so much as glance their way. My eyes were only for her as I grabbed her hand and tugged her closer.

“You’re supposed to be resting,” she admonished me.

“Hush,” I said. “I’ve got something to say to you.”

She arched her brow. “Yeah? What?”

Good question. I didn’t know what I was going to say, either. But then the words came out. Easy, natural, and so perfect, I couldn’t believe I’d held them back so long.

“I love you. I’m an idiot. I should have told you a long time ago. I love you. Marry me. Have babies with me. Be with me forever.”

She blinked, and I saw the sheen of tears. “You don’t have to say that just because I did.”

“I’m saying it because I mean it. Because you’re the bravest woman I’ve ever met and I love you. You make me stronger. You make me think. And you’re here for me when I need you.”

“Always,” she whispered. “Where else would I be?”

Well, that was a question. I waggled my eyebrows. “What do you say about climbing into this bed with me?”

She laughed. “I’d say I just got promoted and I’m not going to risk getting fired ten minutes later.”

“What?”

“Mrs. Sargent got suspended.” The glee in her voice was unmistakable. “I thought they were going to chew me out for being so blunt with a patient earlier, but they’d been watching her pretty closely. And while it’s never okay to tell off a patient, they’ve seen that Mrs. Vader has been destroying the nurses underneath her. So…” She was grinning now. “I’m taking over her position on an interim basis. And if I do well—”

“Which you will.”

“Then I’ve got my pick of jobs. I could stay as a head nurse in the wards, or switch down to ER the next time there’s an opening.”

I was so happy for her, I hauled her almost into my bed. She let me kiss her the way I’d been dying to all night, and pretty well melted into my arms. Then finally, wonderfully, she whispered her answer.

“Yes.”

I took me a moment to process her words. And then I had to pull back and stare at her while I questioned my hearing. “That’s your answer, right? It’s not my feverish imagination? You’re going to marry me?”

She smiled, and it was what I’d been waiting all night long to see. “Yes,” she answered. Then, because I was watching her so closely, I knew the exact timing of it. I could say it at the same moment she did. And it was perfect.

“I love you,” we said.

Did you love this Brazen? Check out more of our steamy titles here!

Don’t miss another book by Kathy Lyons! Sign up for the Brazen newsletter here.