Chapter Four

Steeling her nerves, Penny had knocked once on the door of her husband’s office and went straight in without waiting for an answer.

“Penny!” Tom sprang to his feet, an expression of absolute delight on his face. “What are you doing here?” Waving a hand at nothing in particular, he crossed the floor of the small office, closing the gap between them to wrap his arms around her waist. “Never mind. I don’t care. You’re here!”

Penny allowed herself a few moments to enjoy her husband’s strong arms before reality snapped in and she recalled the deed she had to do. From his reaction, she deduced he hadn’t heard about his brother. Reluctantly, ever so reluctantly, Penny reached around and took his hands from around her waist before leading him by the hand to the corner of the room where she lowered him into a well-worn brown, wingback armchair, taking the one opposite.

The expression of happiness slid off his face as he settled into his seat and noticed the serious one on Penny’s. He reached out and took one of her hands. “Honey, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong?”

In response, she took the telegram from an inside pocket, unsure of how she should begin. What should she say? Looking at his face, the so very handsome face she loved so much, the last thing she wanted to do was to make him unhappy. Yet the news she had to impart was going to devastate him. Though she’d never met Sam, he was a constant subject her husband brought up in conversation or in his letters. He was so proud of his brother, always saying he couldn’t do what he did, putting himself in harm’s way on the dangerous convoy routes. Penny could never make him see he did exactly the same every time he went aloft.

“It’s Sam,” she replied, and held out the telegram.

His face, the face which didn’t have enough color in it for her taste at the best of times, lost all remaining color as he took the paper from her hands. Slowly he held it up and read. She watched his eyes widen in disbelief as they scanned each word. He reread it twice before letting his hands fall back onto his lap.

Those big brown eyes, strangely reminiscent of Bobby’s, looked deep into her soul. Penny saw tears building up in them, surely matched by her own. “When did this arrive?” His voice was no more than a croak, nowhere close to his normal strong, confident timbre, and Penny felt her heart break a little bit more.

“Some time yesterday, I don’t know exactly when. They delivered it to my friend Ruth’s address by mistake.”

“And you didn’t think to call me?”

Penny had to remind herself these words were spoken because he was confused and in pain. Even so, she had to take a deep breath so she didn’t snap at him before answering, “Of course I did. I rang and rang, and the operator couldn’t get a line. In fact, Betty insisted I go to bed, as I’d worn my nerves to shreds trying to get through to you.”

With some relief, she saw Tom was gathering his thoughts. He took her hand again, squeezed it, and stroked the back with a calloused thumb. “I’m sorry, Pen. I wasn’t thinking.” He got up, kissed the top of her head, and crossed to his desk. After a little rummaging, he came back and showed her his flying log, underlining with his finger an entry from the previous night. “I was flying last night. This”—he held up the telegram—“made me forget, and I took it out on you. I’m so, so sorry.”

He looked so abjectly miserable, Penny fell to her knees before him, and he rested his head upon her shoulder. Stroking his hair, she could feel his body start to tremble, so she let him release his pain, his anger at the world and all it had done to him. “Sam. Not Sam,” he sobbed. All other words he uttered were incomprehensible.

At one point someone knocked on the door, but Penny waved Doris away before she could put more than a foot into the room, before she could see her husband crying uncontrollably into her shoulder.

It took Tom a long five minutes before his tears dried, during which all Penny felt able to do was to stroke his back and whisper what she knew were ridiculous platitudes. When he did surface, he looked her square in the eyes, not one bit self-conscious of the tear tracks lining his face. If it were possible, her love for her husband increased tenfold. Strong as oak, a fearless leader. She knew how much his men thought of him. There were other types of strong, though, and this was far more important, in her eyes, than the ability to inspire confidence to fly into enemy fire.

“Sorry for blubbing, Pen,” he told her, accepting her offer of a not-too-clean handkerchief. “Where would we be without the handkerchief, eh?”

Penny laughed. “Up the paddle without a creek!”

Tom read through the telegram once more, then folded it up and tucked it into the breast pocket of his jacket, the one over his heart. “I’m sorry you never got to meet him,” he said, reaching once more for her hand and then bringing it up to his lips and kissing each finger in turn, “but I’m glad, very glad we met.”

Penny decided she didn’t care if anyone came in. So, getting to her feet, she plonked herself down on his lap. Automatically, Tom’s arm snaked around her waist, helping her keep her balance. No more words were needed or could be said, and so far as Penny was concerned, she would stay as they were for as long as he needed.

“I’m going to miss him. Even though he was the worst squash player you’ve ever seen,” he ended with an ironic laugh. “You see this scar?” he removed a hand and put a finger to an inch-long faded white line above his left eye. “Result of a wild backhand.”

“I’m disappointed.” Penny put a pout upon her face. “I always had visions of some heroic sortie over Germany, ending with a dogfight with a squadron of Messerschmitts.” She gave him a playful slap on the shoulder. “How dare you destroy my dreams!”

****

When Doris barged in a few minutes later, the two of them had just fallen out of their seat and were rolling around on the floor.

“Oops. Sorry,” she stammered and went back out. Next came a knock at the door, closely followed by Doris’s voice. “Are you two decent?”

This only set them laughing even more until Tom managed to get himself under control enough to say out loud, “Come in!”

Doris poked her head around the door this time, though she’d taken the precaution of closing her eyes. “You sure?”

Penny heaved herself off the floor, took her friend’s hands, and led her into the room. “Very sure. You can open your eyes,” she added.

When Doris found her voice, she stared at the two before deciding to say what was on her mind. “I have to say, that wasn’t what I was expecting to see.”

Tom, now leaning against his desk with Penny by his side, frowned. “What was it you expected to see?”

Put on the spot, Doris could feel her ears begin to burn red. “Well, um, perhaps a few more tears and a little less laughter.”

Penny squeezed her husband’s hand. “Let’s just say if you’d come in a little earlier, you would have.”

Doris nodded and ventured, “So, how are you doing, Tom?”

Unsurprisingly, he took a few seconds to think before answering. “Okay, I suppose. Or,” he amended after a moment’s pause, “I will be. He’s still my brother, if he’s here or…not, and I’ll mourn him properly when we have time.”

Silence descended as they all took some time to take in what Tom had said. Penny finally broke the silence, after she’d looked at her watch.

“Doris and I had better get back to Ops. Our taxi will be due shortly.”

As if Doris wasn’t there, Tom spun Penny around so she landed with an “Oof” against his chest. He took her face gently between his hands and put his forehead against hers. “I wish you didn’t have to leave. More than anything, I do.”

Penny tenderly laid her lips upon his, and the kiss they shared was gentle, full of love, sweet.

Doris prayed the ground would swallow her up, wishing she was with her Walter and she could feel safe in his arms. Fortunately, before she could get too melancholy, Penny and Tom broke apart.

Penny glanced over to where her friend was shuffling from foot to foot. “Sorry, Doris.”

“We’re here if you need to talk, Tom, any of us. You hear?”

Tom leant across and kissed her on the cheek. “You’re a good friend, Doris.”

“Let’s see if you still think so after I’ve got the story out of her about how you two got married without letting any of us in on the secret.”

Penny and Tom exchanged slightly worried looks.

“Come on. You didn’t think I’d forget, did you? Mary’s still annoyed she wasn’t a bridesmaid!” Doris laughed.

After they’d all had a small laugh, Doris told them if they were going to make a move, then she’d need to get her things from the canteen. They both followed her out of his office and down the corridor to where Sharon sat waiting. Doris wasn’t too surprised to find Stan Atkins still there, next to the girl, chatting away.

“Afternoon, Stan,” Tom said to the sergeant.

Stan turned his head to see who’d spoken, and got to his feet. “Afternoon, sir.”

“Would you give us some privacy?” he asked.

“No problem, sir,” Stan replied. Before he left the room, he asked, “Are you up for the dance on Saturday at Polebrook, sir?”

Tom slapped his forehead before turning to his wife. “Penny, care to come to a dance? If you’re free on Saturday night, of course?”

“I suppose I could risk my feet,” she teased.

“I knew there was something I’d forgotten!” Doris exclaimed. “Well?”

Tom scratched his head, giving the matter thought. “It would be something to look forward to, wouldn’t it,” he mused.

“We could take the hack, sir?” Stan ventured.

“The Hurricane?” Penny asked, her voice disbelieving. “Unless you’ve converted it into more than a single-seater, I don’t see it’d be of any use.”

At Penny’s question, Tom shook his head. “The boys have fixed up an old De Havilland Dragon Rapide we had lying around unused, so now we’ve got our own taxi.”

“Well? What do you say, Pen?” Doris asked. “You up for it?”

“How many are going from here, Tom?” Penny asked.

“Stan!” Tom called, and the sergeant magically reappeared as if he’d been hanging around in the corridor.

“Sir?”

“You heard. How many are going?”

“Last I heard, around a dozen…” came the reply.

Sharon let out a small cough.

“Oh, and I had promised Sharon here could have a seat on the Rapide.”

“I promised you first dibs on seats when you said you’d pitch in with fixing her up. Seeing as you ended up doing most of the work, I’m a man of my word. Two seats will always be yours.”

Stan beamed and flashed a wink toward Sharon. “Great. Thanks, sir.”

“What do you think, Pen?” Doris asked again.

After a moment’s thought, Penny took a notebook out of her flying suit’s lower left pocket and consulted it. “You and me aren’t down to fly, so I assume you’d like to ask Walter?”

“My feet are willing to take the risk as well,” she replied. Walter wasn’t the best dancer in the world.

“I don’t think Mary’s flying, though I doubt very much she’d be interested, seeing as she hasn’t heard from Lawrence still. I’ll check with her when we get back and let you know.”

“We’ll be there, Sharon included, of course.” Tom made a point of including the girl, who beamed and blushed with pleasure. “We’ll fly down to Hamble to pick you up on Saturday afternoon. The dance doesn’t start until about seven, so we may as well take our time.”

“Sounds lovely,” Penny decreed, kissing him on the cheek, not noticing the surprised expressions on the sergeant’s and Sharon’s faces.

“Come on, I’ll escort you both across to Ops,” Tom said, linking his wife’s arm through his.

Doris had picked up her parachute and kit bag and was halfway out the doorway before Sharon called her back. “Don’t forget your coffee, Doris!” and lobbed the tin toward her. Doris deftly caught it between her bag and her bosom.

“Love you!” she called out before trotting to catch up with her friends.