Last Day There

All furniture’s gone. It hits me in this light

I’ve always hated thinned the way it is

by tiny panes, when I leave now the door will slam

no matter how I close it and my groin will throb

hungry as these rooms. Someone left the snapshot

on the wall, two horses and a man, a barn

dark gray against gray light I think was sky

but could be eighty years of fading. Once I called

that unknown farmer friend. He stared back

ignorant and cold until I blushed.

What denies me love today helps me hold a job.

This narrow space I slept in twenty years,

a porch walled in, a room just barely added on.

I own this and I know it is not mine.

That day I found locked doors in Naples, streets

rocked in the sea. The sea rocked in the hands

of brutal sky and fish came raining from volcanoes.

I see the horses swirl into the barn. I hear

two shots, no groans. When I say I’m derelict

the horses will return to flank the farmer.

Again, the three die gray as April 7, 1892.

I’ll leave believing we keep all we lose and love.

Dirt roads are hard to find. I need to walk one

shabby some glamorous way the movies like.

I’ll rest at creeks. I can’t help looking deep

for trout in opaque pools. I pass a farm:

it’s home, eviction papers posted to the door,

inside a fat ghost packing wine to celebrate

his fear of quarantine, once outside, pleased the road

he has to take goes north without an exit ramp,

not one sign giving mileage to the end.