The cold, sharp air felt fresh against Amy’s face as she crossed the road from the surgery to the park on her lunch break. She’d got so used to spending her lunchtimes out in the fresh air, walking Henry, that she’d felt cooped in and stuffy-headed staying in the office when she could be outside.
Besides, outside she didn’t get any pitying looks from the other staff – not just for the loss of her husband, but now the loss of her dog, too.
Amy wasn’t entirely sure how to tell them she couldn’t decide which one she missed more.
Sinking down to sit on a bench under a bare-branched tree, she sighed. That wasn’t true, anyway.
She definitely missed Henry the most.
As she sat and watched the park – the people walking, with and without dogs, the squirrels scampering with the last of the nuts, the birds searching for sandwich scraps – it was almost as if Henry was there with her. Any moment now, he’d bound forward after a pigeon, or start snuffling around the base of that tree to figure out what smelled so interesting.
Except, of course, he couldn’t. Because he was lost.
‘Still no sign of Henry, then?’ Luke settled onto the bench beside her, Daisy sitting patiently at his feet in a way that Henry never would have managed.
‘Not a whisker,’ Amy said, sadly. ‘I’ve been calling everywhere I can think of, asking them to check the microchips of any corgis that have been found in the Greater London area … but nothing.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Luke said. ‘But have faith. He’ll come home eventually.’
‘How can you possibly know that?’ Amy asked. Luke’s optimism was kind, but she couldn’t help but worry that it was misplaced.
But Luke gave her a sunny smile. ‘With family like you, how could he possibly stay away?’
Amy smiled back, her day suddenly a little warmer.
‘So, you and Daisy are enjoying Redhill, then?’ Amy asked. It seemed that she’d been telling Luke a great deal about her life recently, and not learnt very much about his in return. Perhaps it was time to redress that balance.
‘Very much,’ Luke said. As if to agree with her owner, Daisy gave a small bark, and trotted a little way apart from them in the direction of a bustling squirrel. ‘Everyone at the surgery has been very welcoming.’
‘We’re just grateful to have a full complement of doctors again!’ Amy laughed. ‘The last few months since Doctor Shah retired have been very busy.’
‘I’m glad to have been able to help.’
‘Oh! Not that that’s the only reason we’re glad to have you, of course,’ Amy said, quickly. ‘The patients all seem to love you, and, well, you’re a nice guy.’
‘Compliment of the century, right there,’ Luke said, with a grin. ‘But I’ll take nice guy. Better than the alternative.’
‘Most definitely,’ Amy agreed. In fact, Luke seemed like such a nice guy, it was hard to imagine why his wife would have divorced him.
Unless he had a hidden dark side, of course …
‘What just happened then?’ Luke looked at her curiously. ‘Your face just went from “nice guy” to “serial killer” in ten seconds flat.’
Amy shook her head, and laughed. ‘Just trying to figure out what your dark side is.’
‘Not serial killer, I promise,’ Luke replied. ‘I mean, I’m not the world’s tidiest person, and you already know that my handwriting is atrocious. But I’m kind to children and animals, and I cook a mean curry.’
‘The good does seem to outweigh the bad, then,’ Amy admitted. There must be some way to ask ‘how did your marriage end’ without it sounding like an accusation, right? She just couldn’t think of it.
‘If what you’re really asking is “why did my wife leave me”, that’s easy,’ Luke said, putting her out of her misery. ‘We got married very young, before we were done growing up really, and we never talked about the future in the way we should have.’ He shrugged, although Amy could still see the pain in his eyes as he talked about it. ‘Turned out, we grew into very different people – and we didn’t like the other person so much any more. Not to mention, we both wanted very different lives. So really, divorce was sort of inevitable. When she left me, I was hardly even surprised. Which doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt like hell at the time, of course.’
‘I’m sorry.’ Amy placed a hand briefly on his, and he smiled up at her.
‘It’s fine. Well, it’s sad, of course – I thought I had life sussed out, and now I’m back at the start again,’ he said. ‘But actually, there’s something quite liberating about that. I get to design my future myself, as the person I am now – not the boy I was at nineteen. That’s exciting.’
‘It sounds it.’ Maybe she should be thinking of her life that way, too. Jack would be off at university next year, and Claire would follow a few years later. Amy had her whole future ahead of her. How did she want to spend it? Who did she want to be, without Jim there to help shape her decisions?
‘What about you?’ Luke said. ‘If you don’t mind me asking.’
Amy gave him a small, half smile. ‘Oh, that’s even easier. My husband fell in love with someone else.’
It felt good to say it – to admit that truth. Not ‘he left me’, or ‘he cheated on me’, or even ‘he abandoned me’. Yes, he’d done all of those things, and the pain he’d caused wasn’t going to fade away completely for a very long time.
But in the end, Amy realised, it hadn’t been about her.
She hadn’t done anything wrong, she hadn’t been the wrong wife for him, she hadn’t driven him away.
Jim had fallen in love with someone else. It was sad, and it hurt – but it wasn’t her fault.
‘He’s an idiot, then,’ Luke said.
‘Oh, absolutely,’ Amy agreed. ‘But honestly? I think it’s all going to work out just fine. In the end.’
After all, hadn’t it been Luke who’d told her to focus on the future?
And suddenly, that future was looking a lot more exciting.
‘Good,’ Luke said.
Together, they sat and watched Daisy chase around the park for the rest of their lunch break.