Chapter 12

 

Paige woke up the next morning feeling like a new person. She slept the entire night without dreaming, at least any that she could remember.

Jay had stayed over and slept on the couch. She liked knowing that he was so close by if she needed him. Part of her had wished that he had come to bed with her so he could hold her and let her sleep.

Jay, on the other hand, didn’t sleep well at all. He struggled all night with the thought of her in the other room. He wanted to be with her but he knew that would be the wrong thing to do. He even got off the couch several times and paced around the living room before heading toward her room at least three times, just to turn around and go back to the couch. “She is my partner. She has David. She doesn’t feel the same,” he kept telling himself over and over again not wanting her to think that he was taking advantage of her while she was vulnerable. “You’re driving yourself crazy!” he chuckled to himself lightly, tossing around on the couch.

“Why’s that?” Paige asked from the corner of the room. Startled, Jay sat straight up.

“Nothing. Just talking to myself,” he tried to recover. “How are you feeling?”

“Much better. Thank you so much for staying. I slept like a baby.”

She stretched her long arms over her head. Harry ran to greet her.

After hugging and scratching him, she opened the door and let him out.

“I’m glad you let me help.” He stood and walked over to her and gave her a hug. Paige kissed him on the cheek making Jay tremble. His hand brushed across her cheek as he looked at her.

“You’ve been such a great friend,” she smiled warmly at him. Jay’s mouth was dry at the thought of kissing her. It would be easy to right now as he rubbed his thumb along her jaw line. His thought was interrupted by the telephone ringing as Paige walked away to answer it.

“Hey, David!” she beamed as Jay’s heart dropped into his feet. “Did you win big at the tables? … Yeah … no kidding? … Wow, you’d better bring back something nice for me then … She’s fine … she’s busy getting ready for the auction. I think that’s what is keeping her sane right now … I’m fine …” Jay’s heart dropped again as he became afraid that Paige was about to tell David he had stayed the night. “I slept really well last night so I feel much better today … When will you be back? … Great … see you then … Bye now.” Paige hung up the phone and looked at Jay. He was staring out the picture window at the bird feeder. She walked over and placed her hand on his shoulder.

He automatically put his hand over hers. “Come on, let’s go get some breakfast. Do you feel like eating?” he asked.

“I’m famished!” she beamed at him.

They dressed quickly and headed out for Pauline’s Café at the end of Paige’s street. Paige ordered scrambled eggs, toast and bacon while Jay only ordered oatmeal. He watched her as she devoured her meal and thought how great it was to see her feeling better and hoped had he played a small part in making that happen. Admiring the simple, yet alluring features of her face and how she always wore her hair casually about her shoulders. “I’d bet she’d look great in a baseball cap,” he mused.

He realized he needed to be here for her but to not let himself get too close. This was a task that he didn’t know how he was going to balance knowing he had to work with her every day and wanting to be there for whatever, whenever she needed him. Besides Aileen and David, she really didn’t have anyone anymore. His heart broke for her and he felt like his head was spinning in circles.

He looked around the cafe to try to take his mind off of things.

The cafe was noisy and crowded. The smell of bacon and waffles filled the room with such wonderful fragrances that should have made him hungry. Somehow, it didn’t. He watched an elderly couple. They looked so pleasant. The man was cutting his wife’s ham into pieces to make it easier for her and then helped her to use her fork to eat the pieces.

There was such love in his eyes as he helped her. Jay was sure the wife had probably had a stroke and was struggling to learn things all over again. He wondered if this was a permanent situation. “Would the old man get tired of helping her? What would happen if he passed on before her or ended up in the same state?” Yet, there he was taking care of her. The years of love they’d obviously shared made Jay really jealous. Would he find that someday? As he glanced at Paige he hoped she would find that as well.

“Okay, that’s not working,” he thought to himself as he looked away, noticing Paige watching him intently.

“What’s going on in that incredibly busy mind there?” she asked him, trying to look cute.

He played with the corner of his napkin. “Just watching the elderly couple over there. He is really taking care of her isn’t he?”

“Yeah, it’s really sweet,” she sighed. “They give me hope. Ah well, maybe someday I’ll have that.”

“You don’t think you and David will get there?” he asked hopefully.

“I don’t know. I can’t tell if he’s the right one. Maybe I’ll never find the right one.” She shrugged her shoulders and sighed.

Jay’s heart skipped a beat.

“It started out so perfect, David and me. We seemed to have so much in common and he seemed to be so totally in love with me.

Now …” she blushed looking at him. “You don’t want to hear that.”

“Sure I do. I’m your partner as well as your friend,” Jay smiled and winked at her.

“Okay, you asked for it.” She toyed with the corner of her napkin just as Jay had done. “Even before Anthony’s death he was becoming more distant. When he was around it felt like he was a million miles away. I didn’t know how to handle that. I tried to figure out if I had done something wrong or if he was just dealing with something. I even wondered if he had changed his mind about us. After all, I wasn’t around much myself with work and all.”

“Don’t blame yourself, Paige. Things happen for a reason.”

“I know, I know. I think the only reason he comes around now is because with all I’ve been going through he hasn’t had the heart to tell me anything else.” She took a drink of her coffee.

“Then again, maybe all of this made him realize that he wants to be around,” Jay choked on the words, knowing that was what happened to him.

“I don’t know. Maybe after things settle down, he and I can have a long heart to heart and get to the bottom of some things.”

“That sounds like a good idea. I don’t think Dolly and I were ever on the same page. She always seemed to want something different,” he laughed. “I hope pudgy Phil has better luck than I did.”

Paige had to laugh at that. She couldn’t imagine why anyone would turn away from Jay and toward Phil, except for the fact that Phil had a lot of money.

It was nice to sit and talk to Jay. She felt their bond of friendship growing stronger. Paige really needed that, realizing that he and Aileen were all she had. She was beginning to wonder if, in the end, David was going to be there for her at all. The thought saddened her, but it didn’t break her heart.

Paige started feeling sorry for herself again. Self pity was not a luxury she was going to allow herself have. She needed to pull herself together and concentrate on finding out what really happened to the Stecklers. To prove how strong she was, she paid the bill for breakfast despite the opposition from Jay. He shook his head at her but decided it was best to let her win this battle.

 

After Jay dropped Paige off at her house, she decided to write in her journal. It would be nice to write down a few good things for a change.

 

“Jay and I are becoming closer as friends, which is something I have in short supply now. It’s nice to know that he is here and that he cares for me. I’m not quite sure how I feel about it though.

Only time will tell, but it’s nice to write something positive.”

 

Paige sighed, closed the journal, and hugged it. It did feel good to write something positive and what she perceived to be sane. Hoping that she was on the way to recovery, she put the journal on her nightstand and went to take a bath.