No one would find anything out of ordinary in his demeanour. If he spoke, which he now rarely does, with an outsider it would be in a normal conversational tone, ‘Hello, how are you? Is everything fine?’ That is all and then he would sit quietly. I am amazed at his ability to act even in the midst of his mental chaos.
I try my best, whenever he comes to my place and when we call friends, that he should be part of that gathering but now he is there and yet not there. I do not even know whether he understands the conversation and my heart sinks as I realize that a few years back he would have actively participated – in any discussion – the lively conversationalist that he was. But now he is so quiet, he just keeps staring at the faces of the people around him.
He begs us to take leave and stay with him, he whispers that something very bad has happened to him and it needs to be sorted out. He is looking for his shoes, purse, glasses, asking about his children who are not present and when would they come to visit him. All he is doing is asking, asking and asking more.