Inge writes of God,
but she is not very religious.
I am not very religious, either,
nor are most of my friends.
Some more than others—
like Ruth Carlebach,
whose father is the most important rabbi
here in Hamburg.
Everyone knows Rabbi Joseph Carlebach.
Everyone knows he knows
everything about God and Torah,
and other things besides.
Does he know
about Ruth’s little tastes of trayfe1
at her friends’ houses,
tiny slivers of ham
just to see what it’s like?
I bet he does.
Ruth is curious; can you blame her?
I bet he doesn’t.
I bet he knows
that girls aren’t always perfect,
not even daughters of rabbis.
My family goes to synagogue
for the big holidays,
but not much otherwise.
We used to have big Passover seders,
with lots of friends and food.
We didn’t keep kosher even before
the Nazis outlawed kosher meat.
Imagine all the delicious treats
from the wonderful German delicatessen
I would have missed if we were kosher!
(Oh, the bologna! Oh, the ham—
yes, ham.
I am one of Ruth Carlebach’s tempters.)
We don’t go to that deli anymore.
They don’t want us as customers.
JEWS NOT DESIRED, the sign says.
Whether we are religious
or not religious,
all of my friends and I attend
the Jewish School for Girls.
Why?
Simple:
We are all Jews,
and the Germans don’t want us
in their schools.
For me it started when a nice lady
at my old school—
my public school,
where non-Jews and Jews learned together—
called me out of class
for something she called “race research.”
I was seven years old.
She asked me many questions
about my family,
about my “racial characteristics.”
I didn’t know I had any.
But the Nazis say Jews are
a separate race,
a bad and dirty race,
an alien race.
So the nice lady’s questions
were not really nice at all.
That was the end
of city schools for me.
Mother and Father took me out.
And after a while,
the Nazis said Jews could not attend the city schools,
even if they didn’t mind being treated badly
and being called dirty Jew
by teachers and other kids.
So now we are all Jews,
together in our all-Jewish private school.
I suppose this makes us feel
more Jewish than we did before,
even those among us who felt
more German than Jewish.
I suppose this also makes us think
about God
more than we used to.
Inge has never spoken to me
of God before.
But then, many things are happening,
and many things are being spoken of,
that never happened
and were never spoken of
before.