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I dodged the tusk that was aimed for my face, refusing to let go of the asshole's meaty arm. "Look, fucker, we all know how this is going to end, so just," grunt, "give," heave, "the fuck up already!" Whack.
Bastard elbowed me right in the tit and I fell back on my ass in the slushy stew left behind by the first early sleet of the season. The big pigman I was attempting to apprehend made a dash for it, but he didn't have a chance. We might be evenly matched in muscle, but my animal side gave me a speed that his inner lumbering boar couldn't match. I lashed out with my foot, catching him behind the knees, and he fell to the ground again, smacking his head against one of the black ash saplings that made grappling in the forested wetlands even more fun. Hard to run someone down when you kept getting bitch-slapped by the local flora.
Pushing myself up, I lunged toward him, landing with a knee in his back, my hands on his shoulder blades, pushing his piggy snout in the mud. "Stay the fuck down, asshole."
Of course he just kept struggling. I tried to reach for the handcuffs at my waist, but he nearly bucked me off, twisting his head and torso enough to score a gash on my arm with one short tusk. "Damn it!"
I cast a glance over my shoulder, toward the pretty redheaded fae who stood on a boulder, keeping his shoes clean. Oisin was dressed in black from head to toe. He said it was to keep from ruining his clothes when we went on a hunt. I knew it was more likely because he thought he looked like a cool ninja assassin or something. Which he didn't. At all.
He looked like a misplaced runway model.
"Are you going to help me?" I grunted out.
One corner of his mouth lifted in a smirk and he crossed his arms, gazing around the forest as if he was out for a leisurely stroll in the woods. "Oh, did you want help? It looked like you were having fun."
I rolled my eyes. "No, no. You just stay up there looking pretty, princess. Don't mind me. I'll do all the fucking work."
The guy bucked under me again, almost slithering free thanks to all the freezing mud that lubricated us from head to toe at that point. Oisin stepped down from his rock and made his way over with careful steps, avoiding the worst of the mud with his shiny black boots. With his bright red hair woven into a thick braid and his pure, marble-white skin, he should look ridiculous in black. He didn't.
I shifted my gaze down his lithe, graceful body, wondering how hard it would be to peel him out of those tight-fitting clothes.
A sucker punch to my jaw rocked me back and I landed in the freezing mud. Again. "Son of a bitch!"
The pig-bastard stood and lifted a foot to kick me in the head.
"Okay, enough fun," Oisin's smooth voice sounded bored. But his sharp green eyes were deadly. I shuddered as his magic caressed my skin in passing, directed toward the pig.
The pigman froze with one leg lifted, mid-kick. I got to my feet, grinning. "Ha! Pig fucker."
Oisin snorted and rolled his eyes. "Get on with it, Gesa. I can't hold him more than a few moments. And he's going to give you a real fight when he gets loose."
I stomped around behind the pigman and yanked his meaty arms behind his back. As if he hadn't been giving me "a real fight" before this. Snarky, arrogant fucking fae.
I grumbled about arrogant bastards and freezing rain as I clicked the reinforced, warded handcuffs around the idiot's thick wrists. Gods he was ugly. And strong. Probably part orc.
"Okay," Oisin said in a cheery voice, dusting his hands off as if he had done any actual work. "Everyone ready to go visit our friends at the cop shop?"
"Watch him and I'll pull the car around." I shoved the pig his way and Oisin pointedly failed to catch the other guy as he teetered on one leg and fell face-first in the mud.
Oisin laughed. "No. He's good for a little while longer. I prefer to watch you...get the car."
I shook my head but couldn't help the stupid smirk on my own face as I shucked off all my wet, muddy clothes and stuffed them into a backpack I'd brought just for this. Completely naked, I wiped a streak of mud off my cheek, then realized it was a lost cause because I had clumps of mud matted into the wavy blond hair that bumped my shoulders. Boy, I took feminine to an all new level.
Emerald green eyes flicked over my mud-covered body in a way that confirmed my earlier suspicions. Oisin really didn't care about the dirt. He was just being fussy to irritate me.
I called to the creature inside me and shifted.
Turning into an eight-foot long gryphon with the head of an eagle and body of a lion wasn't exactly a comfortable process. But I shook off the twinge of vertigo and trotted over to the fae. Oisin slid onto my back between my wings and got a good grip on my ruff. I flexed my wings a few times to make sure I wouldn't dislodge him.
Then I grabbed the back of the pigfucker's coat with the eagle talons of my front feet and launched us into the air. It was a bit of a challenge flying with two passengers, but doable for a very short distance.
Until Oisin whispered, "there he goes," against my feathers and the prey in my talons broke free of the fae's compulsion and started squirming.
I let out an ungodly screech. In my defense, it was really the only sound my eagle head could make. I think the guy I was holding onto pissed his pants.
"By all means," Oisin said, lifting his voice to a shout to be heard over the wind, "keep that up down there. I'm sure we can still make bacon out of you if you fall and go splat."
The pigman stopped struggling immediately.
We swooped back toward town and landed in a nearly empty lot behind the police building. The space was designated for practice maneuvers with the squad cars, so we were less likely to land right in front of some hapless, unsighted human.
Very few of them could see my true form. To most human minds, I would look like a lion at most, maybe a dog. But I wondered what they saw as we flew overhead. Maybe a guy out hang-gliding? Human minds were so tricky.
I dropped the pigman in a heap and shifted back to human form, all six-foot plus of bulging muscle and naughty spots, right there on display for anyone who cared to look. Of course, Oisin took his dear sweet time slowly pulling my clothes out of the backpack he carried. He handed them to me one item at a time...socks first.
"Oh, for the love of fuck," I muttered, snatching the pile of clothes from his hands.
He only smirked at me and watched what curves I had bouncing while I tried to shimmy into wet, muddy denim and cotton. "You realize I know where you live, right?" I threatened as I pulled my shirt on.
He shrugged. "Promises, promises my little beastie."
The pigman had pulled himself to his feet. I watched him for signs that he was about to run, but it looked like he had realized that running from someone who could do mind control was a pointless endeavor. What he didn't know was I could see the exhaustion in the way Oisin held himself—just a little too straight and controlled. Using his magic that way, especially on other supes and without the backing of the rest of his fae clan, was draining.
I rolled my eyes. He'd be a cranky diva the entire day after this.
"You guys are so fucking weird," the pig grunted in a low, harsh voice.
I grabbed one beefy arm and steered him toward the back entrance of the police department. "Says the shithead who ate his neighbor's dog."
Definitely had orc blood in him.
He made a snorting, snuffling sound with his piggish nose. "I told him to keep it in his own damned yard, now didn't I?"
I refrained from commenting.
Who knows, I might do the same thing if some yappy little mutt shit on my lawn. "Glamour," I demanded, giving the meathead a shake. The tusks receded as he put on his human form. More or less. Still looked half ugly-assed orc to me.
Oisin trailed after us as I dragged the pigman up the steps and into the building, buzzing in with a guest badge gifted to me for just such situations. "Hey Jerrard," I said to the uniform manning the back entrance. "Brought you a gift." The pigdude shrank a little, dialing the glamour back in front of the humans. They'd probably judge him less harshly for the disappearing dog if he looked less menacing.
Jerrard rolled his eyes and pointed toward an open room, where I deposited my prey into an uncomfortable metal chair and took up a position right at the door so he wouldn't decide to make a run for it after all.
Oisin had disappeared. Probably off to flirt with uniformed humans.
It wasn't too long before someone came to take possession of the guy I'd dragged in, providing me with a slip of paper to take to the courthouse to get my money. I smiled happily to myself as I wandered out of the room and toward the front exit. That bounty should go a long way toward fixing up the bookstore part of the apartment.
I heard a throaty laugh from the woman manning the front desk and found my fae. Oisin was leaning up onto the desk, smoldering at her in a way only a fae could. The woman got up as I approached, abandoning her station with a last, flustered, look over her shoulder at my redheaded partner.
"Keep it in your pants," I said, without heat, as I walked by.
He turned to lean his back against the tall desk. "All done playing with the piggy?"
I nodded. "Let's go home. I can't stand wet denim."
I preferred leather, since it was at least somewhat scratch, water and mud resistant, but my favorite pair of pants and my best jacket had been shredded during a poorly timed shift a few weeks ago and I was too cheap to replace them.
Oisin smirked at me, heat in those crystalline eyes. "Hmm...you might need some help getting cleaned up. Big job."
I shook my head. But the creature inside me growled its approval. A dripping wet Oisin was a sight to behold. And he had not cut corners when he had the extra-large bathroom installed in our apartment. I made a gesture with my hand, asking him why he was still just standing there when we could be home and warm, but he lingered at the desk.
"Just give me a second," he said with a wink.
I didn't want to know what he was up to. He was probably going to break another fragile human heart. It was sad, really. Good thing my heart was made of tougher stuff.
A loud throat clearing startled me out of my musing, and I turned to find a brown-haired, blue-eyed officer about my height regarding me with a pained expression. "Gesa. Coming or going?"
I smiled sweetly at my supe liaison within the police department, officer Oswald. "Just leaving. Dropped off a bounty."
He nodded. "Thanks for your help, as always."
Supes were out, to a degree, but only gifted humans could see our true forms. There were supes planted in most government offices, just in case something unexplainable happened and the humans needed extra support. Oswald was a banshee. He wasn't a fan of shifters in general. And me in particular. But he mostly managed not to let that ruin our working relationship. He gave me information when needed. I brought him low level punks not worth the police officers’ time and got paid for it. Win-win.
Didn't mean we had to like each other.
He looked extra twitchy today, though. "Something bothering you?" I asked with a sigh. I really hated that I thought I should care. "Frog in your throat or something?"
He barely blinked at the jab at his vocal abilities. No fun at all. "No. Some nasty calls lately, that's all."
I arched a brow at him. "Nasty how? Like serial killer nasty? Or dealing with entitled assholes nasty?'
He shrugged. "More the latter." Moving past me, he pretended he had somewhere more important to be. "See you around, Gesa."
I shook my head. Bastard coated bastard. With bastard filling.
Oisin finally joined me and I let out a short laugh. He was carrying two extra-large Styrofoam cups with wisps of steam rising off the top. He handed me one and I stared down at it.
"How?" I met his smirk as he lifted his cup to his perfect lips and took a sip. "Where the fuck did you find whipped cream and caramel in this place?"
He laughed. "Oh Gesa, how you underestimate me."
I clung to my warm cup of calories as we made our way out the door and down the slushy sidewalk toward home.