Behold now, I am old, I do not know the day of my death.
—GENESIS 27:2 NKJV
Plan for the golden years. You may get to experience them.
—UNKNOWN
Golden years must have been coined by the young. It is doubtful that anyone over seventy would have described this phase of life with such a symbolic word. Perhaps a compassionate soul kindly slipped a g in front of the word old to ease the ache of reality. After all, the thought of gold brings many grand, but illusive, ideas to mind. “Invest in gold” is a popular advertisement seen on television today. “The golden rule” is encouraged by many but practiced by few, while those who actually demonstrate it also believe that “silence is golden.”
So why are the golden years attributed to the aged? Perhaps it’s because couples who are fortunate to reach their golden anniversary of fifty years are often seventy or older. I remember when Ruth and I celebrated our golden anniversary in 1993. She was quite proud that she could still slip into the wedding gown she had made as a young bride. I was just proud to still be standing beside her.
The Bible first mentions gold in its description of the lands surrounding Eden (Genesis 2:11–12). No metal in Scripture is mentioned more than gold, and God says it “is mine” (Haggai 2:8). Though it was highly valued, it was used abundantly: from cups to crowns, from shields to bells, from vessels to scepters, from altars to thrones, from door hinges to streets. The Bible speaks of choice gold, precious gold, fine gold, perfect gold, threads of gold, weights of gold, talents of gold, pure gold, dust of gold, cherubim of gold, and even mice of gold (1 Samuel 6:18 NASB). But gold wasn’t used just for divine purposes. Men also melted the precious metal to form idols, gods to their own liking. They unwisely valued gold more than God.
Scripture teaches that virtues such as wisdom, knowledge, reputation, and faith are valued more than gold:
I, wisdom, dwell with prudence,
And find out knowledge and discretion. . . .
Counsel is mine, and sound wisdom;
I am understanding, I have strength. . . .
And those who seek me diligently will find me.
Riches and honor are with me,
Enduring riches and righteousness.
My fruit is better than gold,
yes, than fine gold. (Proverbs 8:12, 14, 17–19 NKJV)
Here we see the Lord placing a higher value on the virtues of wisdom, knowledge, a good name, and faith. They are just a few of the many attributes of God, and He offers them to those who live for Him. “All the things one may desire cannot be compared with [wisdom]” (Proverbs 8:11 NKJV). In Proverbs 16:16 we are told that it is “much better to get wisdom than gold!” “There is gold and a multitude of rubies, but the lips of knowledge are a precious jewel” (Proverbs 20:15 NKJV).
A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches,
Loving favor rather than silver and gold.
The rich and the poor have this in common,
The LORD is the maker of them all. (Proverbs 22:1–2 NKJV)
Faith is more precious than gold (1 Peter 1:7).
PLANNING FOR THE FUTURE
You may be asking, “What does this have to do with planning for old age?” The things we value during the prime of life will follow us into the twilight years. If we wisely value faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, it will strengthen us as we age. If we cherish our families by giving them love and understanding, we will likely benefit from continued fellowship with them. When we practice the golden rule, loving others as ourselves, we please God.
Shortly before the economic downturn in 2008, a successful businessman in his forties proudly announced his stock earnings to the tune of several million dollars. “It’s been a thrill to see my dream come true,” he said. Sometime later, it was reported that his wife had left him and his teenage son, who had spent his lucrative allowances to buy alcohol and drugs, ended up in prison. Many invest wisely in business matters, but fail to invest time and interest in their most valued possessions: their spouses and children.
This is certainly not the case with all those who have successful careers, but the story should serve as a caution. There is a lot to think about at every stage of life. We try to teach our young people to plan for their futures by doing well in school and taking advantage of opportunities to build a strong foundation for adulthood. Parents work hard to provide college educations for their children. Couples try to make wise investments for future retirement. Even senior citizens today are blazing new trails in planning for old age because the golden rules for the golden aged have been drastically altered in recent years.
Because of the tumbling stock market, everyone’s nest eggs have lost significant value. Those on the brink of retirement have had to reconsider the dependability of their pensions, 401(k)s, and mutual funds, and in many cases have suddenly changed directions. Nevertheless, planning for retirement and preparing for death have become big businesses, and there is great wisdom in responsibly caring for predictable details.
In Genesis 27, we see Israel’s patriarch, Isaac, preparing for his death. He thinks the end is near, so Isaac intends to give the greatest portion of his property to his older son, Esau, as custom requires. Unfortunately his plan is thwarted by two things: the craftiness of his wife and other son, Jacob, and the failure of Isaac’s faculties. He inadvertently blesses Jacob, leaving the rightful heir without an inheritance. What I find intriguing in the passage is that Isaac’s concern is really for preparing others, namely, his two sons, for his death; but it doesn’t go so well. While there are many lessons to be learned from this biblical account, one is that Isaac is too old to ensure his final wishes are executed properly, and this causes turmoil within the family.
While no one likes to dwell on death or prepare for it, the Bible emphasizes these matters. Recently a medical doctor was interviewed about death and financial preparedness on a popular talk radio program. She made a startling statement: “We are not made to experience death. Death is ugly.” I wish I could point her to the scripture that says, “Death is swallowed up in victory” (1 Corinthians 15:54 NKJV).
The Bible references death and dying in many ways, nearly one thousand times. Yet the Bible remains a book of great hope. Life stands between bookends: birth and death. Outside of the rapture of the church, there will be one death for every birth. Not everyone will experience old age, but death will come to all. For believers, our hope and comfort come from God’s Word, which says, “Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord” (Revelation 14:13 NKJV).
When a child is born, the parents can do nothing to prepare him for “life,” for the child already has the breath of life flowing through him. What they must prepare him for are the experiences of life: the disappointments and joys, the defeats and victories, death and everlasting life. What Christian parents do not want their children to understand the cycle of life and the hope of life after death?
As a farm boy, I was exposed to this cycle from my earliest memories. There were lessons to be learned even when a farm animal died. How much more important is the human soul? Many parents today shield their children from anything that may bring sorrow. This has the potential of stunting a child’s development and causing emotional trauma. When they become adults, those once-sheltered children cannot cope with the inevitable because they have never been exposed to it. When my golden retriever, Sam, died last year, I remembered how my children used to have funerals when their pets died. It was moving to watch their respect toward death, even for their beloved pets.
Life is uncertain; we don’t know what the future may hold. The Bible warns, “Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. . . . Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins” (James 4:14, 17). Since death is an undeniable reality, we should all be diligent to prepare for the last years of life. Things of this nature are serious. I find little humor in making light of such a monumental event, though I admire others who can lighten heavy hearts and bring a twinkle to tear-filled eyes in times of grief.
A family of supporters of our organization told a story about their older sister, who was failing in health. She had no spouse or children, so her siblings were lovingly caring for her in her last days. They persuaded her to accompany them to see the funeral director. He showed them a number of packages and asked, “Which one is your preference?” The siblings looked at their sister and said, “Which one would you like?” Without changing expression the sister said, “When the time comes, surprise me!” That ended the meeting, and they all returned home with light hearts and the planning complete.
In contrast, an attorney who did not practice what he preached died unexpectedly of a heart attack in his early seventies. For decades people in his community had looked to him for legal advice: transfers of property, disputes between neighbors, family conflicts, wills, and estates—the whole gamut of legal matters a lawyer is often called upon to handle. His clients had confidence in him, not only for his knowledge of the law but also for his practical wisdom and common sense. Even as he scaled back his practice and brought in a younger partner to take over, people still sought him out for advice. Hundreds came to his funeral, and the family was overwhelmed with cards and letters from people he had helped over the years. The local newspaper printed an editorial extolling his contributions to the community and expressing its sense of loss.
Shortly after the funeral, his family made an unsettling—even shocking—discovery: he had never gotten around to preparing his own thorough estate plan. Nor had he informed anyone in his family about his financial affairs; they didn’t know what property or securities he owned (if any) or even if he had a safe deposit box. Although from time to time he had expressed a desire to leave some of his estate to his church and to several local charities, as well as to help a widowed sister, in the end none of those verbal wishes were fulfilled. It took many months (and much expense) to sort out his affairs, and it all could have been prevented if he’d only done what he had advised countless others to do over the years: prepare a comprehensive estate plan. Why he never got around to doing this or helping his family understand his financial situation, no one knows. Perhaps—like many—he couldn’t quite face the fact that he was getting older and that someday he would die.
Whether it is the question of making a will or one of a dozen other practical issues, growing older confronts us with a number of challenges. If we don’t take care of these necessary details, others will step in, possibly creating difficulty for those we have left behind. It is our duty to be responsible for handling matters that affect us individually long after we are gone.
Not every decision can be made in advance, of course; some practical issues can be dealt with only as they occur. No one can predict, for example, if a spouse is going to break a hip or retirement savings are going to shrink because of stock market reversals, much less plan in advance exactly how we will deal with either situation. But some issues can be decided in advance, and when that is the case, we need to take action. God does not want us to leave a legacy of resentment or conflict or confusion behind us, but this can easily happen if we neglect the practical issues that press upon us as we grow older. Remember that “a prudent man gives thought to his steps” (Proverbs 14:15), and “everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way” (1 Corinthians 14:40).
The older we get, the harder it becomes to deal with sensitive issues and important decisions that confront us. They may be too burdensome or complicated for us to sort out at that stage of our lives, or perhaps we would rather avoid potential conflicts and tensions that may arise with others. They also may trigger worrisome thoughts about the inevitable march of time or even make us question our own ability to make sound decisions as we grow older. In addition, the stress of an unexpected illness or the death of a spouse or some other crisis may preoccupy us so much that we are incapable of focusing on other issues. Many older people, doctors tell us, also battle with depression, and a common characteristic of someone who suffers from depression is an inability to make decisions. During trying times, I would encourage you to seek professional advice while considering several matters. My hope is that as you read through these pages you will be encouraged to follow through on them—both for you and those you love.
MASTERING YOUR MONEY
“I’ve never met an older person,” an attorney told a friend of mine recently, “who didn’t worry about their money and whether or not they’ll have enough to last them until the end of their days. Even people who have no reason to worry still do.”
Our society places too much emphasis on money, implying that financial achievement is the main measure of a person’s true success in life. But this is a false standard, and we must resist falling into the trap of thinking that money is everything. Jesus warned, “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money” (Luke 16:13). Paul later advised his protégé, “People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil” (1 Timothy 6:9–10).
Does this mean it is wrong to think about money or do careful financial planning for our latter years? No, of course not. Just make sure that money is your servant and not your master. Does it rule you, or do you rule it? No matter how little or how much you have in the way of financial resources, God has given them to you, and He wants you to be a faithful steward or trustee of them. See your money as a God-given responsibility, not as something you are free to use (or misuse) as you please.
This is especially important as we enter our retirement years because our income then will probably be less (even significantly less) than it has been. “We never bothered making out a budget,” someone said. “My wife and I both had good jobs, and we always had enough to do most anything we wanted to do. But suddenly I’ve realized it isn’t true anymore. For the first time in my life, I’m having to watch every penny. I wish I’d done it sooner.”
A retiree wrote, “One of the problems of retirement is that it gives you more time to read about the problems of retirement.” While the thought is humorous, it is also truthful. But instead of reading about the problems, we should take appropriate action to solve the problems.
What guidelines about money should we follow as we look toward our senior years? What problems do we need to think through, and what decisions should we make before they become a problem? Let me suggest three general guidelines.
Plan Realistically for Your Retirement
Numerous websites and other resources can help you calculate how much you will need to save in order to have a comfortable retirement—and yet far too many people never do this, and they end up setting aside very little. Sometimes it is not possible to save for retirement; I think of the letters I receive from single parents or unemployed people who simply cannot set aside anything.
But for those who can, saving money takes discipline. Take full advantage of your company’s retirement plan (if it has one), and borrow from it only in an extreme emergency. Many companies also provide ways to deposit part of each paycheck automatically into a savings account. Some companies even match employee contributions to a retirement plan. “Pay yourself first” is an old adage that can serve you well. The Bible’s picturesque example of the ant that diligently sets aside food for the future illustrates a practical but profound lesson:
Go to the ant, you sluggard;
consider its ways and be wise! . . .
It stores its provisions in summer
and gathers its food at harvest. (Proverbs 6:6, 8)
I have heard it said, and I wholeheartedly agree that as in all successful ventures, the foundation of a good retirement is planning. I would add to that the necessity of prayer. The Bible tells us to pray about everything, so pray that God will take possession of your life totally and completely. When we do this, we reveal our dependence upon Him.
Avoid the Traps of Unnecessary Expenditures
One of the most common financial snares affecting some people as they grow older is what we might call the debt trap. The temptation to run up huge credit card bills in order to pay for things we cannot afford (and probably don’t need) can happen at any stage of life, but it is especially disastrous for seniors who have no employment income to pay back the debt. Sadly, the debt trap causes some seniors to declare bankruptcy.
Don’t give gifts you can’t afford. This often happens when grandparents try to buy the affection of children or grandchildren by showering them with overly generous gifts. Harsh as it may sound, some parents use money almost as a weapon, attempting to control their children with it or using it to try to bridge the gap between them and an alienated child. They have forgotten the Bible’s wise words: “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8).
Guard against unwise financial decisions as you grow older. There are many trustworthy financial planners, but some target older people who may be duped by glowing promises and persuasive presentations. Don’t believe everything you hear, and don’t make major financial decisions without consulting knowledgeable people you trust. The old adage is right: if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
While caution is necessary when considering how to allocate your resources, don’t become obsessed about your finances. “All my aunt ever thinks about is her money and her fears that she’s going to be left destitute,” I heard one man say. “She won’t even let me change some burned-out light bulbs because she’s afraid she won’t be able to afford her electric bill. I know she has more than enough to see her through, but she refuses to believe it, and she’s become a prisoner to her fears.” Take control of your finances by setting up a sensible budget and sticking to it. This way you won’t be a slave to debt, a victim of predators, or a prisoner of fear.
Deal Frankly with Any Legal Issues
Having a valid will is critically important. Some people avoid doing it because they fear the expense; others feel they don’t have enough to make a will worthwhile; still others worry about conflicts a will may cause in their family.
Consider, though, the impact of leaving this world without a will. The implications to your family can be devastating. Laws differ from state to state, but in certain circumstances the fate of the possessions of someone who dies without a will is decided by the courts or by state law, not by the person’s family. The result is often much different from what the deceased would have wished. Apart from that, the lack of a will may cause bickering and conflicts between family members who think they are entitled to get certain things from the estate. “Our mother had some nice things,” one woman wrote me recently, “but after she died the arguing over who would get what became very bitter. I know she would’ve been shocked at the way some family members acted. Why are people so greedy? Most of it wasn’t worth much anyway.” In her letter she mentioned that her mother had died without a will.
Deciding to have a will prepared is only the first step, however; more important are questions about your wishes for the disposal of your property—in other words, who will benefit from your will? But other questions may also need to be addressed as you make your will, such as who the executor of the estate will be, and whether any part of the estate will be placed in trust instead of given outright to an heir. These can be complicated questions with far-reaching implications, and they are best handled with the help of an attorney who is skilled in estate matters.
No matter how simple or complex a person’s estate may be, however, any estate plan needs to be prepared thoughtfully, carefully—and prayerfully. God is just as concerned about what you are going to do with your possessions after your death as He is with what you are doing with them right now. Do you see them as yours alone, to be used selfishly and in any way you want, or do you realize they have been entrusted to you by God and are to be used for His glory? A man who has always made a point of tithing his income, of giving one-tenth of it to his church and other Christian organizations, told his family he plans to do the same with his estate, and he has written it into his will. Certainly these written instructions can help clarify the wishes of the deceased. King David prayed, “But who am I, and who are my people, that we should be able to give as generously as this? Everything comes from you, and we have given you only what comes from your hand” (1 Chronicles 29:14).
LIVING ILL AND LIVING WILL
Most people are familiar with a “last will and testament,” a legal document that outlines what they wish to happen after their deaths. In recent years, due to enormous changes within our nation’s health care system, an important document has emerged that gives patients certain rights. This is popularly known as a “living will.” (This may go by various names, such as an “advance medical directive” or a “declaration of a desire for a natural death.”) This document expresses what a person wishes to happen before his or her death—specifically, what the person wishes to happen in case of a physical or mental disability or a major medical emergency. Living wills have become important mainly because of medical advances that can prolong a person’s life well beyond its normal expectancy, even in dire circumstances.
Closely associated with the living will may be other types of legal documents, such as powers of attorney that authorize another person to act on your behalf in case you are unable to function on your own. A “health care power of attorney” allows you to designate a family member or other trusted person to make medical decisions concerning your care if you are no longer able to make them for yourself. Similarly, a “financial power of attorney” designates someone who can make financial decisions on your behalf in case of your incapacity. Always be careful about signing any document of this nature under pressure (such as when undergoing emergency medical care in another state) to be sure it doesn’t change your true wishes or reverse something you signed previously.
These are difficult, complex, and emotional issues to decide; but when the medical consensus is that there is no reasonable hope of recovery, my own conviction is that extreme measures are only artificially delaying a person’s death, not prolonging life. As much as possible, such matters need to be decided before they become necessary and then set forth in a valid legal document. Once a medical emergency develops, it is usually impossible for the patient to express his wishes in a way that will give clear and legal guidance to the doctor or hospital. Incidentally, many hospitals now have on their websites suggested forms to deal with these matters.
Why go to the trouble of having a living will or any other document that comes into effect only when you are unable to function on your own? The most obvious reason is to spare yourself what might otherwise be a prolonged period of suffering and indignity when there is, in fact, no hope of recovery. But a living will is also important for the same reason your last will and testament is important: for the sake of your family. Lacking any directive from you, family members may find themselves caught in a confusing and emotional web of difficult choices—and they may not all agree on the way forward. In addition, laws in some states (so I understand) may mandate extreme measures that cannot be withdrawn once they are started. The expense and the emotional toll on the family can be staggering—but more than that, in such situations the true wishes of the patient will be ignored because they were never put in writing. Help yourself and your family avoid what can become a nightmare.
Christians are not to be preoccupied with death; God has put within each of us a will to survive. But neither are we to shrink from death or act as if we must fiercely resist it until the last breath. The time may well come, in fact, when life’s burdens and pains overwhelm us so much that we will welcome death as a friend—and that is as it should be. If we know Christ, we know that Heaven is our true home, and (like the saints of old) we are “longing for a better country—a heavenly one” (Hebrews 11:16).
A WORD TO ADULT CHILDREN
Remember that one day everyone will be facing old age. I can recall as a young adult worrying about my parents as they aged. I always tried to give them the respect they earned and deserved, and I was cautious not to insult them by suggesting that they could no longer make important decisions about their lives. A fine line sometimes separates preserving your parents’ dignity and ensuring their well-being.
Perhaps some may be saying, “Well, I’m sure those things are important, but I’m still young, and all this seems a long way off for me.” You are probably right; but your parents may be in turmoil about how their decisions affect not only them but you.
Some adult children worry that their parents are not taking these steps, and the children are reluctant to bring it up, thinking that the parents may mistake their motives. This does present a problem sometimes. The relationship between parents and their adult children can be difficult. As a rule adults don’t like to be told what to do by their parents—and parents don’t like to be told what to do by their children. But refusing to act on the practical issues that confront us as we grow older (or simply ignoring them) often becomes a sure recipe for turmoil and conflict within a family. I encourage adult children to consider turning the tables. Ask your parents’ advice as you seek what plans you should also put in place. Perhaps this would open up the discussion because, after all, they may also be reluctant to bring up dreaded subjects. Sometimes older people need their children’s perspective—and perhaps this approach can be the nudge that is needed.
Only you know the dynamics within your own family, but I encourage you not to draw back from trying to help in these important matters. Ask the Lord to give you wise words and a sense of right timing for such discussions. The Lord honors His people who do all in His name with respect, gentleness, and love. Take to heart the Bible’s admonition: “The wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere” (James 3:17).
A WORD TO PARENTS
My prayer is that you will be responsible for settling the business that must take place when living wills and last wills and final arrangements must be made. It is emotionally hard on others to make such decisions for a loved one. Be proactive so others won’t have to be reactive. The older generation should set an example of making important decisions while they are able to do so. Your children will someday be dealing with the same issues you are today. You can bless your children with the example of responsible planning.
I remember being moved when I read the last will and testament of the late J. P. Morgan. He is noted as perhaps the most influential banker in history. I have often wondered about the reaction of his children when they read their father’s will after his death in 1913. I hope they sensed the power of his words and gained strength from them: “I commit my soul into the hands of my Saviour, in full confidence that having redeemed it and washed it in His most precious blood He will present it faultless before the throne of my Heavenly Father; and I entreat my children to maintain and defend, at all hazard, and at any cost of personal sacrifice, the blessed doctrine of the complete atonement for sin through the blood of Jesus Christ, once offered, and through that alone.”1
Making choices for ourselves is not easy, but leaving them to someone else is risky. Having your house in order is one of the most important things parents can do for their children. Give them the peace of mind that you have your piece of mind and have taken care of the business that has come about from your lifetime of labor. More than anything else, let them know where you stand with the Lord Jesus Christ, for this will be your lasting legacy.
NEARING HOME WITH RESPONSIBLE PLANNING
Are we joyfully giving thanks in all circumstances, or are we making our last years on earth unbearable for ourselves and those close to us? Are we obediently setting things in place so that others will know that we were responsible followers of Christ? Are we preparing for death with the assurance that Jesus is preparing our homecoming? When we reach our destiny, will others know where we are?
The book of Hebrews has a lot to say about wills and testaments: “In the case of a will, it is necessary to prove the death of the one who made it, because a will is in force only when somebody has died; it never takes effect while the one who made it is living” (Hebrews 9:16–17). Jesus came and dwelt among mankind. He was the example of how to live—and how to die. He came to die so that we may live. He also was resurrected in order to fulfill the promise He made: “I go to prepare a place for you” (John 14:2 NKJV). This is why the Bible says, “Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints” (Psalm 116:15). This is a wonderful last will and testament. We may grow impatient with our circumstances in our remaining years of life, but as we wait for the reunion with our Savior, let’s recall God’s will for us: “Be joyful always; . . . give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:16–18, emphasis added).