I stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror and willed myself to calm down. Alexander—now Alex—had flustered me, and I felt like I needed a cold shower. I shivered as I remembered his knowing grin. Maybe two cold showers.
After I’d dawdled as long as I could without looking like I was hiding, I returned to the bedroom. Alex was sitting on his pallet, looking at his com. He glanced up, and I tilted my head toward the bathroom. “All yours.”
He nodded his thanks and gathered his bag. Once he was gone, I slid into my enormous, fluffy bed. I looked at his sad little pile of blankets and hardened my heart. No. This was his decision. I’d offered an alternative and he’d chosen this. He could live with his choices.
“Jarvis, lights twenty percent.” The overhead lights flared to life, slightly brighter than a night-light setting. Alex would be able to see, even after coming out of the fully lit bathroom.
I set the windows to gradually lighten in four hours. The sunlight would wake me without the need for a harsh alarm. I checked my com one final time, but I hadn’t gotten anything else from Bianca. I wondered if she was getting updates from Alex or Aoife, or if she assumed no news was good news.
With nothing left to do, I turned off my bedside lamp and closed my eyes. Restless energy pulsed under my skin, but I feigned sleep.
Alex returned with a whisper of sound. He settled on his pallet and turned the overhead lights off. He was perfectly still and quiet, without so much as a discontented sigh. It would’ve been so much easier to ignore him if he’d acted disgruntled, but his quiet acceptance sent sympathy and guilt swirling through my veins. He had to be uncomfortable, but you’d never know it.
I lasted for maybe ten minutes before I sighed and whispered, “Are you awake?”
“Yes.” His voice rumbled from the dark. “Do you need something?”
“Jarvis, lights five percent.” The room was still deeply shadowed, but I had excellent night vision and could see clearly even in deep darkness. However, this would be easier if I could pretend the shadows hid us from each other. “Bring your pallet. You can sleep on the other side of the bed. On top of the covers.”
There was a long, silent pause. Finally, he asked, “Are you sure? I don’t mind sleeping here.”
“But I do,” I grumbled. “This bed is giant and it’s petty to make you sleep on the floor because you agreed to help me. Hurry up before I change my mind.”
He stood and gathered his bedding. He wore a T-shirt and pajama pants. I acknowledged the flare of disappointment, then ignored it and glued my gaze to the ceiling. I wasn’t sure if this was the best idea ever or the worst, but I was never going to get to sleep if I kept worrying about whether or not he was comfortable.
He rounded the bed and laid out his bedding. I tracked him via sound and kept my eyes firmly pointing upward. The mattress shifted as he climbed into bed—the bed I currently occupied. I banished all improper thoughts before they could form. I needed sleep and nothing else.
Alex turned the lights off. Once the blissful darkness hid my face, I peeked in his direction. I could just make out his form, cloaked in shadow. He was on his back, staring at the ceiling, much like I had been before. He did not look relaxed. I grimaced in sympathy, then closed my eyes. Just because I could see him, didn’t mean I should. Darkness made for a reasonable expectation of privacy, and I wouldn’t violate his. I rolled away from him, away from temptation. I was being ridiculous.
“Thank you,” Alex murmured quietly.
“You’re welcome. Good night.”
“Good night.”
Exhaustion pulled at me, but I couldn’t settle. I wasn’t used to having someone in my bed, and especially not a virtual stranger. My hookups were with people I knew and trusted, but even then, they were more of the that was fun, don’t let the door hit you on the way out variety. Now, every little noise kept me awake. Alex apparently didn’t have the same trouble. He fell asleep with enviable ease. It took a long time, but eventually his deep, even breaths lulled me into dreamland.
I AWOKE TO MIDDAY SUNLIGHT STREAMING THROUGH the window. I felt good, like I’d slept hard. It took me a second to remember where I was, but when I did, I jerked my head around to check the bed. It was blissfully empty, which was nice because sometime in the past four hours I had migrated over until I was pressed up against the edge of where Alex’s bedding started.
My cheeks heated in mortification. I could only pray that I’d moved after he’d already left the bed and that I hadn’t driven him out. Or worse, snuggled up against him. I groaned and covered my face. That’s what I got for being nice. Unless Alex brought it up, I would pretend it had never happened.
I slid out of bed and got ready for the day. I wasn’t sure exactly what my plan was, so I decided on a pair of slacks and a fashionable blouse. If Alex didn’t already have appropriate clothes, then we would have to go shopping.
But, before that, I needed to talk to Bianca. The time in Honorius closely matched Universal Standard Time, the time in Serenity, so Bianca should just be finishing with lunch. I wanted to talk to her face-to-face, or as close as possible, and the only way to do that with the distance separating us was in HIVE. The acronym stood for High Impact Virtual Environment, and it was one of the tiny handful of technologies allowed to use the FTL communication channels.
I moved to my office and closed the door, glad I hadn’t run into anyone on the brief trip down the hall. I used the terminal built into the desk to log in to HIVE with my official account. The room dimmed and the projectors came to life, surrounding me in the virtual environment.
My desk disappeared and the living room of my suite in the towering stone von Hasenberg building snapped into place. The room was bright and colorful, like all of my public spaces. I sat on a bright blue sofa and the wall of windows in front of me looked out over snowy mountain peaks, despite the fact that I was in the middle of a city.
Virtual reality could be bent to the user’s will, given enough money, but sometimes it made for a rough transition. I closed my eyes for a second and waited for the feeling of vertigo to settle, then sent Bianca an invite to join me.
A few minutes later, her avatar appeared in the middle of the room. She was also using her official account, so her avatar matched her usual appearance. Based on the avatar’s stiff movements, she was connecting using smart glasses and not from her office.
I stared at her, silent. Now that she was in front of me, hurt warred with love.
“I’m sorry, Cat,” she said quietly. “I couldn’t let you go alone. Please don’t hate me.”
I sighed. “I don’t hate you, Bee, but I wish you’d recognize that I’m an adult and able to take care of myself. I had my own plans, but I was still going to ask you to send Alex and Aoife as my guards once I’d arrived.”
She moved and sat next to me. She looked out the window. “You changed the view.”
“I got tired of the beach.” I wasn’t going to let her change the subject that easily. “How much do you trust Alex and Aoife? How much do they know?”
“I trust them both and Ian vouches for them, too. I gave them the basics: House James coerced Pierre into putting the hit on Ferdinand, but we still don’t know if they were acting alone or at the behest of someone else. You’re going to the party to find additional information. House James may know you’re digging for info and would very much like for you to not find anything, by whatever means necessary.”
“No one sees me as anything other than the spoiled, shallow daughter of a High House. I am tolerated because I’m fun and bubbly and because friendship with me brings a certain level of social power. No one would expect me to be running an investigation into Ferdinand’s kidnapping.”
“You don’t give yourself enough credit,” Bianca said, “but don’t underestimate House James, either. They pulled off a complicated attack without leaking any information. And we still don’t know who in House Yamado is responsible for the looped video from the night Ferdinand was taken.”
Both Ian and Father had made inquiries of House Yamado about the looped video but they’d gotten nowhere. I’d asked Ying about it, but she didn’t have any information, either. I trusted Ying to tell me the truth, which meant Lord Yamado was keeping it very hush-hush. I suspected they’d found a high-level traitor and had quietly taken care of it without ever admitting fault.
“House James gains nothing by attacking me, and Agatha James is smart enough to know that.” The matriarch of House James was rumored to be a cunning woman. I had met her twice, briefly. Most recently, I’d met her during a tea hosted by Chloe Patel a few weeks ago. Lady James had been pleasant, with no indication that she was plotting treachery against my House.
“They stand to lose everything if you start poking around and uncover their plot. Lady James is also smart enough to make your death look like an accident, so be careful. I know you resent me forcing Alex and Aoife on you, but I also know you understand why I did. I would do anything to keep you safe, Cat.”
“I know you would.” And that was the truth. Bianca was a fixer; she expressed her love by fixing problems. In her mind, my going alone to the house party was a problem, and she’d come up with a solution because she loved me and wanted me to be safe and happy.
I was a soother. It was in my nature to smooth things over, to quietly apologize even if it wasn’t my fault. I’d spent a lot of time as the peacekeeper for my five siblings. As the youngest of six, I’d learned negotiation and manipulation early, but I was trying to do better at setting boundaries and standing my ground.
“I just wish you’d worked with me rather than dictating,” I said quietly. “You didn’t even wait to see if I had plans of my own before you rode roughshod over them.”
Her face fell and she took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. You’re right, of course,” she agreed. “And I yelled at Ian for doing the exact same thing to me.” Her laugh was bitter with an edge of self-deprecation. “I’ve become Father.”
“No. You do things out of love. I know that. Father does things because he’s an asshole. But you can’t protect me forever.”
“Oh, I absolutely can and will. But I will endeavor to ask rather than dictate from now on, okay?”
“That’s all I ask. Thank you.”
She inclined her head. “Is there anything else you need from me?”
“Alex and Aoife are quite enough, thanks.”
She grinned at my less-than-enthusiastic tone. “I have to go,” she said, “but keep me updated and send me a message if you need anything. I’m going on a short trip and will be in and out of communication range, but I’ll respond as soon as I can.”
“Where are you going?”
“Just a little business trip,” she said, which meant she didn’t want to talk about it on potentially insecure channels.
“Keep me updated,” I demanded. “Are you taking Ian?”
Her avatar mirrored her enamored smile. “Yes. I tried to talk him into staying behind, but he wouldn’t hear of it. We should be back in a few weeks.”
“You’re leaving Father to hold down the fort on his own?” Ferdinand and Hannah were both off-planet, too. Ada lived in Sedition, and Benedict was at war. With me gone and Bianca leaving, Father and Mother would have to attend any events that expected House von Hasenberg participation, or cancel and risk alienating our allies.
“It will be good for him to realize what it’s like when we’re not always at his beck and call.” Bitterness had crept into her tone. She had not forgiven him for opposing her relationship with Ian.
“Just as long as he doesn’t decide we’re expendable,” I muttered.
“He’ll be delighted to have you home. He doesn’t appreciate how much work you do. See you in a few weeks. Stay in touch.”
“Bye, Bee. Stay safe.”
She waved and her avatar blinked out. I logged out and the lights in my office came back up. I sighed. Bianca trusted Alex and Aoife, Ian trusted them, and she’d sent them with me as her way of showing love. I was stuck with them.
I guessed I might as well get them up to speed and come up with a plan that wouldn’t destroy the months of hard work I’d already done just to get an invite to the house party.
I FOUND AOIFE AT THE KITCHEN TABLE, SIPPING A STEAMING mug of coffee. “Good afternoon,” I said.
“Good afternoon. You look better. Did you sleep well?”
“Yes. You?” I asked as I headed for the synthesizer. I needed caffeine and food.
She nodded. “Your couch is more comfortable than it looks. Alex went to find the gym. He should be back soon. What’s on your agenda for the day?”
“Do you know if Alex brought the appropriate clothes to pose as my guest?”
“Yes, Bianca helped him pick out his wardrobe. He has enough clothes for two weeks.”
I killed the little flare of jealousy before it could start. Of course Bianca knew him better. And she’d also known he needed clothes, so she’d taken care of it—see: fixer. My public persona was an exaggeration, but I really did love shopping, and I would’ve loved to shop with him. I rarely got to shop for men, and clothing all of that muscle in high fashion would’ve been a treat.
I shook my head in disappointment and focused on food. The synthesizer had a list of my favorite meals already programmed in. It was afternoon, so even though this was my first meal of the day, I chose a soup and sandwich combo, then added a vanilla latte and hit the start button. The machine hummed, then a bright ding announced the order was ready.
I pulled the tray out and joined Aoife at the table. “If he already has clothes, then we need to see if we can play a convincing couple. If so, we’ll go out and be seen together later today so it won’t seem odd when I show up at House James with him tomorrow night.”
“You’ve decided to work with us?”
“I talked to Bianca. She trusts you, and she’s trying to look out for me, in her own way. If Alex and I can play a convincing couple, then I will take him as my guest. If not, then you’ll both come with me as my guards.” And if I needed to, I’d slip away from them both and do a little snooping on my own, as I’d originally intended. I did not think Aoife would appreciate that plan, so I kept it to myself. “Do you have anything you need to do before we head over tomorrow?”
“Ideally, I’d like to spend some time sparring, to see how you react to threats. My job will be easier if I can predict what you’ll do.”
I hated sparring. I blew on a scalding spoonful of soup to cool it. The synthesizer could make food at any temperature, but I liked my soup just a little too hot to eat right away. Now it gave me a reason to delay while I figured out how to get out of sparring.
Finally, I said, “What I do depends on the threat. If I can safely escape, that’s always my first choice.”
“Always? What if by leaving, you’re putting someone else in danger?”
“Depends on the person,” I said with a grin, then sobered. “I’ve had the same sort of risk assessment training that bodyguards and soldiers receive. I excel at reading people and situations. I won’t risk myself stupidly, but if I think I can help someone I care about, I’m going to do it. I do not expect my guards to follow me into those situations.”
“But you know they’ll follow you anyway.”
My smile was sly. “If they wouldn’t, then they wouldn’t be my guards for long.”
“You’re both the best and worst kind of person to guard.”
“I’ll try to keep my heroics to a minimum for the next two weeks. There aren’t many people attending I would want to rescue, anyway. And despite Bianca’s worries, I don’t think House James is stupid enough to kill me at their own house party.”
“I hope that doesn’t become your epitaph.”
The doorbell interrupted my response. “Alexander is at the door,” Jarvis, the suite computer, said.
I raised an eyebrow at the lack of a last name. Someone didn’t want his full name in the system. “Let him in.”
The door opened and Alex entered, wearing dark slacks and a crisp, white, button-down shirt. He’d rolled the long sleeves up until his forearms were exposed. He looked cool and sexy and untouchable. He’d adjusted his attitude to match the clothes—he radiated confidence and was impossible to ignore.
He was arresting, but I couldn’t help but wonder which version was a mask. Was his true face this hard-edged man who took up more than his fair share of the space in the room or the quiet, unassuming man who faded into the background? Or was his truth somewhere in the middle, like my own true personality?
I put down the spoon that I’d forgotten halfway to my mouth. “Welcome back,” I greeted him.
“Thank you.”
Well, this wasn’t incredibly awkward at all. I turned back to my food. I usually had no trouble reading people but both Aoife and Alex were damnably opaque. It left me feeling unsettled and off balance.
FOR THE PAST TWENTY MINUTES, ALEX AND I HAD BEEN trying to act like lovers, to see if we could pull it off. I stared at him, trapped between conflicting desires. All I had to do was fail and he would accompany me to House James as a guard. But I hated failing. It was one of the reasons I hated sparring so much. I didn’t know if Bianca had tipped him off or if he’d just gotten lucky with the guess, but now I was determined to prove that I could be his fake lover.
I mentally rolled my eyes at myself. I could spot manipulation at fifty paces, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t susceptible to it.
I sank deeper into my public persona. I needed the reminder that this was all pretend, an illusion as fake as my smile. “Alex, darling, there you are!” I crossed the room to him and slid an arm around his waist.
It felt right, especially when his arm came around my shoulders and he brushed a kiss against my temple. I had to work to keep my smile in place and my body relaxed. I wasn’t successful.
“Relax. You look like you want to run away,” Aoife said from her place on the sofa. It wasn’t her first comment.
“Can I kill her?” I asked under my breath, my smile still firmly attached.
Alex’s chuckle rumbled through me. “I’d rather you didn’t.”
“Just a little?”
His chuckle turned into a full laugh. “Aoife, why don’t you go check out the rest of the house for a while? There’s a deck with a nice view on the top level.”
Some sort of silent communication passed between them, but she grumbled and got up. “You have an hour, then we have to come up with another plan.”
Once she was gone, I was somehow both more relaxed and more nervous. I fell back on my training. “Ready to try again?” I asked brightly.
His expression softened. “Drop the mask, and let’s talk. What is bothering you?”
I rubbed at my face. “I don’t know. This should be easy. Charming people is what I do.”
His gaze seemed to see too much. I broke eye contact.
“What if you pretend I’m one of your siblings?” he asked.
“I don’t know what your family is like, but—”
“We just need to be affectionate; we don’t need to fuck in the halls.” Uncertainty flashed across his face. “Right?”
I squashed that mental image, but I couldn’t suppress the shiver. “Well, I won’t promise we won’t come across some of that, especially during the meteor viewing nights, but guests are not expected to perform publicly, no. This is not that kind of party.”
“You had no problem hugging your sister in front of strangers. Just pretend I’m your brother.”
“That’s not going to work.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m not attracted to my brothers.”
I’d meant to shock him, and it worked. His expression went carefully blank. “Oh.”
Well, that answered that question—whatever I was feeling was definitely one-sided. I forced myself to laugh lightly. “Don’t look so worried. I know this is fiction.” I waved between the two of us. “So let’s figure out how to make it work before Aoife comes back and yells at us.”
“Have you ever taken a guest to a house party before?”
“No.”
“So there’s no precedent. We can make our own rules. How would your friends expect you to treat your lover in public?”
I grimaced. There wasn’t really precedent for that, either. My hookups had been discreet. There had never been a public staking of claim. Still, Alex brought up a good point. “Most of the people at the party see me as a bubbly socialite, not too bright but always fun. Since I’m bringing someone for the first time, I need to be smitten, and that means flirtatious and affectionate, perhaps a little blind to the fact that I’m being manipulated.”
“Can you do that?”
Here it was, my final out. I could say no and Bianca’s interference would cease to plague me. I could do exactly as I’d planned from the beginning, but with Alex and Aoife backing me up in case things got hairy.
The word hovered on the tip of my tongue, but the pleading, worried look that Bianca had worn popped into my head.
Fuck.
“Yes, I can do it,” I said with a sigh. The trick would be remembering that no matter how real it seemed, it was only an act on his part. “Let’s try again.”
Alex nodded and prowled toward me. I gave him a flirtatious smile. “Did you miss me?”
He pulled me into a loose embrace. “Yes,” he murmured with just the right hint of heat and longing. After a beat, his expression turned serious. “If I ever make you uncomfortable, and you don’t feel like you can say anything without breaking cover, you only have to tap me twice and I’ll back off. Try it.”
I patted him twice on the chest and he slowly drew away with a teasing grin. It looked completely natural. He was once again putting control back into my hands. Quietly. Effortlessly.
Alexander Sterling was far more dangerous than I’d given him credit for.