Fear gave me strength and overrode my usual moderation. I jerked free, spun, and threw a blind punch. It connected with a solid wall of muscle, hard enough to send a small flash of pain jolting up my right arm. My attacker hissed out a breath but otherwise didn’t make a sound.
My eyes adjusted and I could make out a large, shadowy figure, probably male. I threw another punch, one he swiftly dodged. I aimed a quick flurry of blows at him. After I got him down, I could call for backup and question him. Half of the hits landed, but the stubborn bastard stayed up. I wished I could use my feet, but barefoot I was as likely to break a toe as to do any damage with a kick.
I should have brought a weapon.
“Stop,” Alex whispered, “it’s me.”
I froze as a new fear took root. I had been fighting at full strength, thinking I was under attack. Fear gave way to fury, blazing bright. “What the fuck were you thinking?” I whispered fiercely.
“Aoife is tracking the night guard. He was coming down the main stairs.”
“So you just fucking grabbed me? Is your voice broken?”
“I’m sorry. You surprised me, and I reacted without thinking.”
I rubbed my hands over my face and tried to get the anger to settle. Honor made me ask, “Are you hurt?”
“No.” There was a strange inflection in his voice.
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure. We need to move. Were you headed upstairs?”
“Yes. I have a silencer.”
“I know.”
I let him guide me into the stairwell. We climbed cautiously. When I stopped at the second floor, he sighed but only said, “The guard is on the main floor. If he sticks to his pattern, he’ll be there for another half an hour.”
In the brighter light of the hallway, I could make out his features. He wasn’t wearing smart glasses, but seemingly had no trouble seeing. I watched as he scanned the hallway. Yes, definitely seeing.
“Did Ian give you a vanisher?” I asked. At his blank look, I elaborated, “For the cameras.”
“No, but Aoife put the system on a loop before you slipped out of the bedroom.”
I closed my eyes in frustration. “That was stupidly risky. I had it under control.”
“We didn’t know that,” he murmured quietly.
It shouldn’t hurt, to be underestimated by strangers, but it did. It hurt every time and the pain only seemed to be growing worse. How much longer would I be able to play this game before I shattered completely?
I pushed the hurt away and plastered a smile on my face. “Well, since it’s been done, let’s make the most of it.”
Alex looked like he wanted to say something, but I turned and led the way to Stewart’s private office. Once again, the door was locked with a simple metal key, which meant that anything truly valuable was probably hidden away behind electronic locks. I picked the door lock while Alex played lookout, then we were in.
The office was smaller than the study, and the room stretched away from the door rather than off to the side. Close to the door, two comfy chairs were arranged near a fireplace on the right wall. A cigar box and a crystal decanter of dark amber liquid sat on the table between the chairs. Farther in, a large desk, facing into the room, hunkered down in front of a pair of tall, elegant windows. I guess Stewart didn’t like looking at the scenery.
The left wall was lined with glass cases displaying all manner of collectibles—antique vases, bits of carved sculpture, ancient weapons. This was a fortune on display, which must mean the security was better than it appeared.
“Stay away from the cases.” Alex nodded. He’d stood beside me while I’d surveyed the room and hadn’t moved. “I’m turning off the silencer for a second to check for transmitters. Be quiet.”
Another nod. I ran the scan, then clicked the silencer back on. There were a lot of transmitters in here. The scan had created a rudimentary model of the room, and the sensors were overlaid on the map. The display case was rife with them.
I turned the com so Alex could see the screen. “Stay far away from the cases. I’m going to search the desk. Look around and see if you can find a safe.”
With the cameras on a loop, I could search more thoroughly than I had in the study. I opened each desk drawer, checking for hidden compartments and false bottoms. There weren’t any, and none of the drawers were locked. I rifled through the few papers I found. There were a few interesting tidbits—their House was not as well off financially as they would like it to appear—but nothing at all concerning gambling debts, Pierre, the Syndicate, or Ferdinand.
I had hoped I wouldn’t have to search Lord and Lady James’s personal rooms, but that hope was slowly dying.
I tucked an audio bug under the desk. Perhaps it would be missed in the mass of other transmitters. I straightened and movement caught my eye. Alex waved me over from near the fireplace. He was outside the influence of the silencer and wasn’t risking one of the many sensors in here picking up his voice. Smart.
I crossed the room to him, and he slid a piece of trim aside to reveal an electronic keypad about chest high. It took me nearly a minute to find the hidden seams in the wainscoting at the bottom of the wall that would open when the correct code was entered.
“How did you find it?”
“I pushed on everything. This moved.”
If the drawer had been a temptation, this was nearly irresistible. It would take the codebreaker less than two minutes to crack the code. Before I’d spent a full day at Raventhorpe I could figure out why House James had thought their plan for Ferdinand was wise, and what they might be planning next.
My fingers twitched.
Alex had wandered away, and now he cocked his head, as if he was listening to something. He came back into the silence field. “Aoife said the guard just broke from his normal pattern and is heading for the stairs.”
“You think he’s on to us?”
“Hard to say.”
He was very carefully leaving the decision in my hands, but I could read the tension on his face. I sighed and silently promised the safe I’d be back for it soon. “Let’s go.”
Alex slid the trim back into place and then we left, locking the door behind us. I could just hear the guard’s shoes on the marble main stairs as we dashed for the back stairs. We moved quickly, counting on the silencer to muffle our steps.
The third floor was still and quiet. We were halfway down the hallway when I heard the distinct sound of a door opening ahead of us. Between one breath and the next, Alex swept me into a shallow alcove and pressed his muscled body up against mine, pushing me back against the wall and both of us deeper into shadow.
I froze, electrically aware of every centimeter of him. Wide chest, tapered waist, thick legs. And muscles everywhere. The simmering desire I’d felt since I first laid eyes on him flared to life, and I wanted to rub against him like a cat. His warm breath ghosted over my cheek. I could turn my head and kiss his jaw, taste his skin.
A feminine giggle brought me back to myself. A deeper voice whispered a low response, and then the sounds of an enthusiastic kiss made me shift uncomfortably, my desire still burning too hot.
Alex’s breath hitched and he pressed into me a little tighter. The growing bulge pressed into my low belly told me he wasn’t unaffected by our inadvertent eavesdropping, especially when the woman moaned low in her throat, a sound of pure pleasure.
I rocked my hips against his, a tiny, barely-there movement. Alex surged against me, pinning me firmly to the wall. I went molten and slid my hands down his back a centimeter at a time, feeling the muscles flex and twitch under my exploring fingers. I couldn’t quite reach his spectacular ass, so I settled for pulling his waist in, fusing us even closer. I bit back a moan.
Alex hissed under his breath, a sound so low that the couple couldn’t possibly have heard him, but they finally broke apart with a few more whispered words. Steps crossed the hall, then two doors clicked closed.
Alex waited a moment before backing off so quickly that I stumbled. Acute embarrassment smothered my desire like an avalanche of icy water. Of course he was trying to get away—his body was having a natural reaction to external stimulus, and I was trying to hump him like a dog.
My face flamed, but I ducked my head and practically ran for the safety of our room.
Our room.
I needed a dozen cold showers and about a thousand years before I’d be able to face him again. Unfortunately, I had neither.
When the door closed behind us, Alex opened his mouth, but I held up a single finger. I turned off the silencer and scanned the room for new bugs. None showed up. I clicked the silencer back on so we could talk in peace.
I slowly unpacked my pockets while I tried to figure out what I wanted to say. Alex waited quietly, close enough to be in the silencer’s field, but not crowding me.
It was cowardly, but I couldn’t talk about my behavior in the hallway, not yet. I needed to apologize, and I would—in the morning. So I gathered my tattered dignity and asked about my original concern. “Were you ever asleep?”
“Yes. You woke me when you left the bed.”
“Why didn’t you stop me?”
“I’m not here to stop you. I’m here to help you.” Aoife had said something very similar and I hadn’t believed her. With Alex’s declaration, maybe I was starting to. Tentative trust bloomed. He continued, “I hadn’t planned to interfere at all, but I was worried that you didn’t know about the guard.”
“I didn’t,” I admitted quietly. “Did I bruise you? Let me check.”
Alex’s grin was quick and rueful. “For such a small thing, you hit like a freighter.”
It would take someone with his muscled build to consider me “small.” There was a question there, in his expression, one I refused to answer. Instead, I gave him a different truth, at least part of it. “It’s one of the reasons I don’t spar. Please let me make sure that you’re okay. Where did I hit you?”
He lifted his shirt, revealing tawny skin stretched tight over flat, rippling abs. And there, in the middle of his stomach, a fist-shaped bruise, already purpling. I felt sick. While I’d been busy groping him, he could’ve had internal organ damage. Shame glued my eyes to the damage I’d caused. I really was a monster, just like Father wanted.
I must’ve made some sound because his fingers feathered over my jaw, bringing my gaze up to his. “I’m fine, Cat. I surprised you and got what I deserved.”
“No one deserves that. Do you have nanos? I know I hit you more than once. Where else?” I tugged on his shirt, trying to see what other damage I’d done.
He covered my hand with his own. I froze. “I have nanos. I’ll be fine. None of your other hits landed so hard. You shouldn’t worry. It takes a lot to put me out of commission, and this doesn’t qualify.”
“You could have internal injuries.” Worry made my voice wobble, and useless tears pressed against my eyes. I was emotionally exhausted. I sniffled.
He pulled me into a gentle hug that didn’t feel fake at all and stroked a hand over my shoulder blades. “Shhh, I am fine.”
I blinked. I was not going to cry over this. I gingerly wrapped my arms around his waist and accepted the comfort he offered. “When I was younger, I accidentally broke my sparring partner’s arm.” The confession popped out of me without warning. I tensed. Father could not find out that I’d been moderating my strength this whole time. “Please forget I said that.”
“You’ll find me a much tougher opponent,” he said carefully, “if you want to spar.”
I buried my face against his shoulder and shook my head. “I can’t risk it.” For any number of reasons.
He did not ask me any more questions, just held me in a loose embrace. My mind knew that this wasn’t real, that he was just playing his part, but my heart . . . my heart wasn’t so savvy. I drew away with a sigh. “If there is any change for the worse, any sort of twinge that feels out of place, I want you to promise me that you’ll go use the diagnostic table in Chaos. Please.”
He nodded. “I will, but don’t worry. I’ll be good as new in a few hours.”
I doubted bruising that deep would heal in a few hours, even with nanobots helping him along. He wasn’t moving like he hurt, but I would keep an eye on him. I was lucky that he wasn’t asking me more questions. I didn’t know what it was about him that snuck under my armor, but I had to be more careful.
“Did you find anything in the study?” he asked.
“Not really. There was one locked drawer, but I didn’t search as thoroughly as we did in the office. I didn’t know the cameras were on a loop, and the vanisher has limitations. I left a couple of bugs, so we’ll see if anything comes of them. How did Aoife get into the security system so fast?”
“Bianca gave her a script.”
I rubbed my temples and tried not to be furious with my sister. I failed. Bianca could’ve given me that script and helped me along. Instead, she’d given it to the person she’d assigned to babysit me, because my own sister didn’t trust me. Bianca had bought the lie I’d sold. She thought I was incompetent.
Or maybe I was incompetent and just too blind to see it. Bianca was the smartest person I knew. If she didn’t believe in me, then maybe the universe was trying to send me a sign.
It wouldn’t be the first. Father certainly thought I was a failure.
Doubt crept in around the fury. Hurt stabbed deep and I couldn’t quite tell if it was directed at Bianca, Alex, or myself.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I demanded. “I thought you were here to help.” The bitter, sarcastic bite in my tone was impossible to suppress. My mask felt paper thin.
“I didn’t know Aoife had gotten it working until after you’d left.”
“But you knew it existed.”
He inclined his head. “I did.”
“Is there anything else that exists that I should know about?”
“No.”
“No, there’s nothing else, or no, I shouldn’t know about it?”
He did not respond. I supposed I should be glad that he chose to misdirect rather than lie to my face, but I was too angry to see much difference. Part of that anger stemmed from the fact that I wanted him to be on my team, not Bianca’s.
My hands curled into fists as the emotional turmoil tempted me to do something unwise. I locked myself in place, a roiling tower of fury, doubt, embarrassment, and shame.
Alex glanced at my fists. The corner of his mouth tipped up. “You want to spar so you can hit me again?”
I did, badly, which proved just how out of control I was. “I don’t spar,” I ground out.
“Good. You shouldn’t fight when you’re angry.”
“I’m not angry—I’m furious. And you shouldn’t presume to know what’s best for me.” But even as I spoke, doubt edged out the fury. I should be happy that Bianca was taking care of me, since I was doing a hell of a job of mangling it on my own.
Exhaustion, sorrow, and disappointment merged into a toxic soup of bitterness. “Go to sleep, Alexander. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Are you going to search anything else tonight?”
“No.”
His steady gaze held mine, questioning my sincerity.
I huffed out an unamused breath. “It’s too late—or too early, I suppose. People are more likely to be moving around. Further searches will have to wait until tomorrow night.”
“Are you okay?” The bitter twist of my mouth seemed to be answer enough because he asked, “Is there anything I can do?”
I rebuilt my mask, piece by piece. In the span of two breaths, I was once again Catarina von Hasenberg, youngest daughter of a High House—fun, bubbly, not too bright. I would not forget myself so easily again, even if the mask pinched more than usual.
I summoned my public smile. “Go to bed. Tomorrow is going to be a long day. I think hover bike racing was on the schedule and I’d rather you didn’t take yourself out on a tree because you blinked for too long.”
“There’s a schedule?” Alex asked with a raised eyebrow. He’d also retreated behind a pleasant mask. We were all fake here.
I laughed lightly. “Oh, yes. Our time in Raventhorpe has been broken down into fifteen-minute increments with military precision. It’s less house party and more minute-by-minute mandatory fun.”
“And are you going to sleep? I would hate to lose you to a tree.” A strange edge had crept into his tone.
“Of course, after I shower and check on the security com.”
He caught my fingers as I was turning away. “Cat, please go to bed. I will move to the floor. I don’t want to chase you from your own bed.”
“Silly man, as if I could be chased away so easily.” I laughed and gave him a flirtatious smile.
He frowned and met my eyes. “I’m serious.”
I let my mask slip, just a little, so he could see the hard truth behind my words. “So am I.”
He stared at me for a moment longer, then let me go. I locked myself in the bathroom and climbed into a scalding shower. I let the water run over my head, blocking out everything. Eventually, my thoughts turned to Alex.
Why did I let him rile me so easily?
I was honest enough to admit that attraction and resentment were driving factors. I needed to get my head back in the game. Alex worked for Bianca, not me, no matter how much I wished it was different. I could try to sway his loyalty, but I had a feeling it would not be easy. So I needed to keep him at a distance, an impossible task when we were supposed to be a couple.
I really should’ve thought this through more before agreeing, not that I had much—or any—choice in the matter. Bitterness tried to rise again, but I pushed it down. I would just have to make do. I was excellent at it and I wouldn’t let a pretty face distract me from that.
Armed with new determination, I left the shower, put my pajamas back on, and checked on the security com. It was linked to the bugs I’d planted. It would record and transcribe the audio the bugs picked up. I set up some keywords that would trigger an alert on my com, but so far, nothing had been recorded and none of the bugs had been discovered.
With no remaining excuses to procrastinate, I headed to bed. Alex lay on his side, facing away from the middle. He didn’t move when I slipped under the covers.
Weariness weighed me down, but it took a long time for sleep to come. It wasn’t until I was finally drifting off, right on the edge of consciousness, that I realized I’d been attacking Alex at both full strength and full speed.
And he had dodged half of my attacks.