I’m running like my conscience is chasing me. And maybe it is. But I’m getting to the point where I just don’t care anymore. I would never deliberately hurt Rose. At the same time, I can’t keep my hands off of her for much longer. Seeing her beautiful skin scratched and hurting, I want to kiss every inch until she feels worshipped like a goddess.
How crazy is it that now I sound like one of her books? Maybe reading all that silly romance stuff rubbed off on my subconscious. In which case this run should purge it from my system, not make me think about her even more.
I slow down as I hit a series of switchbacks. The last thing I need to do now is twist a knee or ankle. It’s beautiful out here under the trees, not a soul around, just a few curious chipmunks staring at me. Birds are singing as they go about their daily business. By the time I reach the base of the mountain, I’m feeling pleasantly stretched and more energized than when I left the cabin. But all I can think about is getting back to Rose, finally talking through this thing and figuring out what to do about it together.
I still have to retrieve her car though, and that’s another fifteen-minute walk. When I arrive at the shopping center, it looks perfectly ordinary. I see her car parked in a row with others, and it’s as if nothing ever happened. I shake my head. There’s nothing more I can do about the situation, really. The cops know. They’ve got the bad guy and Rose seems to be doing okay. I slide her keys out of my thigh pocket and go to her vehicle. It takes me a minute to get the seat back as far as it will go. Even then it’s an extremely uncomfortable fit, but I can suffer through it for a few more minutes. I pull out and drive down the road towards the one that will lead back up the mountain.
Rose was right. Her car is on its last legs based on how it’s responding to this hill. But it makes it, barely. I frown down at the gauges. I’m not happy about her driving this alone anywhere. It’s too likely to break down either in the woods or on the freeway. But since I don’t think she needs to go anywhere for at least the next three weeks, I’ll table that argument for later.
When I enter the cabin, she’s back in front of her computer, typing away. I’m not sure if she even registers my presence but I need a shower before we talk anyway so I head into my room to grab clean clothes. When I turn, she’s in the doorway.
“Hey, everything go okay?”
“Yeah, your car is out front. I’m going to grab a shower and then we’ll talk, okay?”
She nods, biting her lip. I drop a soft kiss on her forehead, “Stop worrying. We’ll figure something out.”
“I’m not worried. Just… anxious, I guess.”
Now I’m the one frowning. What the heck does she have to be anxious about? I sigh and grab my clothes. Shower first, talk later.
I don’t know what I was expecting. But it wasn’t Aiden striding out of the bathroom, his dark hair still wet from the shower and stalking towards me like I’m all he can see. Without blinking, he picks me up from where I’m standing, stationed in front of the big windows overlooking the hillside, and carries me over to the kitchen counter.
Then, still without saying a word, he steps between my legs and kisses me, just like one of my book’s heroes. I mean, he was all in. In ways I never dared imagine. His lips ground against mine, his tongue pushing at the seam until I allowed him entrance. Then he claimed my mouth, letting me know in no uncertain terms that he knew how to kiss a woman with utmost skill and that he was completely in charge of the situation.
I decided to enjoy the moment because all too soon he would step back, like he’s doing now. He holds my chin gently in one hand, not letting me hide while his blue eyes, the color of the sea on a blustery day, search mine. I have no idea what he’s looking for. “I thought we were going to talk,” I say simply.
“That was talking. You had a lot to say, some of it I knew and some of it surprises me.” He lowers his hand and uses both to grip my hips firmly.
I like, no, I love having his hands on me. There’s something about him that my body and soul recognize. I can’t really find the words to explain it. Just that when my hands rest on his shoulders, I can’t imagine anyone else’s shoulders ever feeling so right. Or another man’s hands, simply placed on my hips, not moving, making me feel heat spreading through my core until I’m twitching with a need to get closer to the source.
“What did I say exactly?” And how much damage control do I need to do? I’m asking silently.
“That there’s nothing artificial about you. You aren’t trying to prove a point, or cover up for some insecurity. That you like me kissing you.” He frowns slightly, “And that you don’t have nearly as much experience as your writing would suggest.”
I blush, I know I do. Fuck. I’ve never been embarrassed or ashamed by my lack of experience. It was completely my choice. I chose not to play around at frat parties to ‘experiment’ as my peers would say. Not because I’m a prude, but because I knew the experience would be empty compared to what it could be if I had feelings for someone. Someone like Aiden. But now I’m wondering if that was the wrong approach. Should I have practiced with someone equally young and foolish, learned a few skills?
“I really don’t like where your thoughts are going, Rosebud.” Aiden’s voice is laced with exacerbation.
“What do you think I’m thinking?” I’m even more chagrined that he can read me like a book. If he really can, that is.
“You’re wishing you had fooled around more than you had, so I wouldn’t be able to tell your lack of experience. And I’m telling you that your… openness is charming. It’s intoxicating. But I do need to ask exactly how far you’ve gone.”
Fuck. I try to hide my face against his chest, but he won’t let me. His arms have come up to hold me at the shoulders and he braces them to keep the space open between us.
“Would you ask any other woman that question right now, Aiden?”
“You aren’t any other woman, Rosebud. You’re my best friend’s daughter, which makes this wrong on so many levels. You’re also so right I can’t force myself to walk away. Which is not any other woman. So we’re going to stay here until you break it down for me.”
“Um.” I focus my gaze on his lips. I can’t look into his eyes right now. They’re too overwhelming. “Not really any. I mean, I kissed a boy in high school once. At a dance. That’s about it.”
I hear his ragged intake of breath that exhales with, “Fuck.” But I still can’t meet his gaze. I place my palms on his chest, needing that contact, that connection with him, and am soothed by the steady beat of his heart.
“So nobody has ever sucked those pretty nipples?”
I shake my head no.
“Or even fingered your virgin pussy?”
Again, I indicate no.
“And you want me to do that to you?”
I nod, a tiny smile curving my lips. “And…”
“And what?” He’s patiently waiting. Not tugging at me or barking orders for once.
“I want you inside me, Aiden. I need to know all of you.”
He groans and pulls me closer where I can finally plaster myself against him, “You are going to be the death of me, Rosebud. I’m done trying to deny that I’m attracted to you. No, that makes it sound mild and pleasant. I think I’m becoming obsessed with you. But we need to take this slow for both our sakes. So I’m not going to fuck you.”
“What?!” I push back so I can glare at him in disappointment.
He chuckles, but the laughter doesn’t quite meet his eyes, “Relax little one, I didn’t say we weren’t going to do other stuff. You’ll sleep in my arms every night and I’m going to show you what a man can make you feel without stuffing his cock in your adorable little pussy. You and me being together isn’t as simple as one of your books, Rosebud.”
“Why not?” I pout. I want all of him. Before he wakes up and decides he doesn’t want any of me.
“For starters, what would you tell your dad? What would you say to your friends? Are you really prepared to tie yourself to a middle-aged man living in a small town in rural Washington?”
I straighten my spine. “I’m willing to figure those things out. I don’t think anyone of any age can answer that without being able to tell the future. That’s what dating is for.”
“You’re right, but that’s kind of my point. How would you and I date? We don’t even live in the same place.”
Okay, I see his point, but that hasn’t stopped me from wanting him for the last seven years. “Aiden, just remember that I’ve had these feelings for you longer than you’ve thought that way about me. Perfectly understandable under the circumstances, but please try to not be condescending.”
“That’s fair, but my rule applies. If you leave here a technical virgin, I won’t feel I’ve stolen something from you unfairly.”
I sigh. He’s splitting hairs, but if it makes him feel better, I can argue my point later. “Fine. Are you going to kiss me again, then?”
He smacks me on the lips all too briefly, “Not more than that, no. I need to get dinner started and you have some more writing to do, I believe. We’ll revisit your new lessons tonight.”
Oh God, my pussy is clenching with anticipation. And suddenly I’m not sure I can survive without touching him. I let my hands linger around his neck as he lifts me down. His skin is damp from the shower but oh so warm and he smells of… I don’t know… is there such a thing as a clean alpha male smell? If there is, that’s what Aiden smells like right now. I don’t want to walk away from that scent. It’s too intoxicating.
Reluctantly I go back to my computer, but as soon as I sit down the words spill off my fingers. Aiden has to call me twice before I hear him tell me dinner is ready.