21

Father Roberts had put off coming until now, and after tea on the day of his visit he walked on the terrace with Sister Clodagh. He kept his hands behind his back, the wind blew the short hairs on his head into bristles and sent his cassock streaming out behind him like a skirt.

‘I hope you’re pleased,’ said Sister Clodagh.

‘Ye-es,’ said Father Roberts doubtfully. ‘It all seems excellent; very excellent. Yes, it certainly seems that. But –’ he stopped and looked directly at her. ‘Is anything worrying you Sister?’

‘Why do you ask that?’ she said steadily.

‘I don’t know, but you seem changed. Yes, you all of you seem changed, except my good friend Sister Briony and she’s always the same.’

‘In what way are we changed?’

‘I don’t know,’ he said slowly. ‘I can’t quite say. I’ve noticed it with each one of you. It’s difficult to explain. I feel as if you were all hiding something from me. Nothing’s happened, has it?’

‘Nothing.’ She hesitated. ‘I told you that I had been worried over Sister Ruth, but she has been writing to Reverend Mother, and I think she’s better; and Sister Philippa has been overworking herself, but I think that’s all.’

‘I hope it is.’ He still spoke doubtfully. ‘You don’t think it was a mistake to allow the young General to come – I mean the novelty of it – but no, no it couldn’t be that, and I don’t see how you could have done anything else. I feel something’s upsetting you. Do you know in chapel this morning, I suddenly had the feeling that I was alone. That not one of you was listening to me.’

‘Father!’ said Sister Clodagh.

‘I did. Sister, if the place is too much for you, you will say so.’

‘But, Father, I don’t understand. I thought we’d made such progress here. That you’d be so pleased.’ She was touched to the quick.

‘It’s difficult to explain,’ was all he said. ‘To-day, I somehow felt I’d lost you. You’re none of you as single-hearted as you were.’