ten

Abe awoke with a start.

“Hush now, wee one” came a whisper.

Gurgling and cooing rose up in the darkness. And for a moment, Abe couldn’t make sense of the sounds.

“You’ve got to be going back to sleep,” said the same voice.

He sat up and blinked hard, confusion hanging like a thick mist. Who was in his home and why?

At another soft squeak of a baby, realization crashed through him with the force of raging rapids. He’d gotten married last night. To a woman he barely knew.

Oh, Lord God Almighty, what had he done? And what had he been thinking?

He dropped his head into his hands and almost groaned. For a second he willed the silence to continue, for the woman and infant to disappear, for himself to wake up and discover he’d only been dreaming.

But the baby chirped a contented noise, and the woman once again murmured soft words in response. Zoe Hart and Violet Cox were in his wingback chair in front of the stove.

He buried his face deeper as the memories came back. He’d gotten Lizzy’s letter, had been shocked to discover she was married, and had been so overcome with pain and anger that he’d been blinded. Yes, blinded. There was no other explanation for why he’d so hastily married Zoe.

Instead of taking the time to present his heartache to the Lord and prayerfully consider what to do next, he’d forged ahead with his own plans in his own way.

Misery slithered around him like a draft of cold air, making him want to shudder down to his bones. What had he been thinking to rush into marriage like this? Hadn’t he warned Zoe about the need to take her time in finding a husband?

Now he was a hypocrite—preaching one thing but doing another. Once the miners discovered what he’d done, they’d lose respect for him. They would surely think he was a desperate, lusting man who couldn’t control his urges.

Oh, Lord, he silently prayed. Help me.

Was there any way he could change what had happened and make things right? For long moments, he sat with his head in his hands and tried to think, tried to find a way out of the mess in which he found himself. Was he stuck?

The bed beneath him seemed to sag lower. The bed. He lifted his head. Even though they’d shared the bed, they hadn’t consummated their union, which meant they still had time to nullify the marriage and go their separate ways. Surely Zoe would understand and would keep quiet about the whole affair.

A glance out the window to the faintly lit sky told him dawn was close at hand. If he spoke with the bishop now, perhaps he’d find a way out of the situation. After the bishop’s anger the previous evening, surely the older gentleman would be all too happy to give Abe an official annulment.

Abe swung his legs out of bed, his bare feet brushing against the cold floor.

“Good morning,” Zoe said, her voice sweet and shy.

“Good morning.” He earnestly prayed he hadn’t touched her inappropriately during the night and flushed at the very thought.

He groped at his pile of clothing, hoping to make contact with his trousers. “Violet is up early this morning.”

“She’s still needing to learn what’s day and what’s night.”

He fumbled to find a trouser leg. Even though the room was shrouded in darkness, he could see her outline in the chair. That meant she could see him partially too. And he was all too conscious that he was attired in his drawers and nothing else.

“I hope we didn’t wake you.”

“No, I’m a heavy sleeper.” He flushed again. The revelation seemed too intimate. In fact, the entire predicament was too intimate. If only he could step into another room to finish dressing and grooming instead of fumbling around in front of her.

He stuffed his leg into his trousers only to find his foot wedged tightly. Standing on one leg, he jerked at the trousers and managed to get his other leg inside except that his other foot also stuck. With both feet trapped, he lost his balance and fell backward onto the bed.

“No need to be in the dark.” She rose from her chair. “Since we’re all awake.”

“I’ll be fine.” He attempted to pull up his trousers again.

“It’s no trouble.” Before he could protest further, she lit the lantern on the pedestal table. Adjusting the wick, she stood with her back to him. Her hair was unbound and reached nearly to her waist. The rich ebony was a contrast to the pure white of her nightgown, and the thick waves shimmered as though beckoning to him.

His fingers twitched with the need to tangle there. Had he really touched her hair last night before he’d fallen asleep, or had he only dreamed it? The sensation of her thick strands in his hands and against his lips was all too real. And all too real was the pulsing urge to touch her hair again.

As she turned, he tried to send his thoughts in another direction, but long cascades fell over her shoulders, richer and finer than any luxurious pelt he’d ever seen. She had beautiful hair. There was no sense in denying it. In fact, he’d probably feel better if he acknowledged the facts.

“There. That’s better, isn’t it . . . ?” Her gaze connected with his bare chest. Her eyes widened, and pink infused her cheeks before she shifted her attention down. Her eyes rounded even more, and after a moment a smile twitched at her lips.

Embarrassment rushed through him. He was still bare chested, his shirt discarded in a heap with the rest of his garments on the floor. What did she expect? She should have heeded his admonition not to light the lantern. Now they were both in an extremely awkward situation.

He tugged at his trousers so he could at least cover his lower half.

A laugh escaped before she cupped her mouth. Even so, her eyes danced with merriment.

He gave another futile pull before glancing down to discover his legs each stuck in a shirtsleeve. With his feet and calves trapped in the shirt, his bare knees and thighs were exposed up to the edge of his light blue underdrawers. For a second, he was tempted to drag the coverlet over his body and bury himself in mortification.

But at another muffled laugh coming from behind her hand, he glanced at himself again. Even though he was mortified, he managed a grin. He looked ridiculous. It was no wonder she was laughing.

He allowed himself a chuckle.

She dropped her hand, giving him full view of her beautiful smile and her adorable dimples.

He laughed again, and when she joined in, somehow the embarrassment dissipated. Their laughter grew louder until the cabin rang with it and she was wiping tears from her cheeks.

Finally, she crossed to him, set Violet on the bed, and reached for one of the shirtsleeves. “I think you’ll be needing help if you have any hope of freeing yourself today. Unless you’re hoping to set a new fashion trend.”

“The only thing this will set is tongues to wagging.”

“Aye.” She gripped the wrist of the shirtsleeve and attempted to wiggle his foot free. “That it will.” With her dark hair flowing over her shoulders, her lips puckered in concentration, and her long lashes framing her bright green eyes, he couldn’t remember why he needed to protest their marriage. Why couldn’t he stay married to this breathtaking beauty?

“There.” She freed first one leg, then the other. “Now you needn’t ruin a perfectly good shirt.” Her nightgown pulled snug, drawing his attention downward. The scooped neckline was modest but emphasized her womanliness and reminded him of just how desirable she truly was. She finally glanced up at him and smiled, her expression so innocent, so trusting, so sweet.

This time he couldn’t make himself smile back. Instead, heat spilled through his veins like low flames, blazing new trails and bringing him an awareness of the sharpness of his desire.

As though she sensed the direction of his thoughts, her smile faded. She visibly swallowed before picking Violet back up and situating her against her chest, almost as a shield. The baby reached out and clutched a fist of Zoe’s hair, kicking her legs and cooing in obvious pleasure at being in Zoe’s arms again.

Zoe’s lips turned up in a tender smile, and she bent and kissed Violet’s cheek.

It was Abe’s turn to swallow hard. He didn’t know why he was in such a hurry to leave the cabin when all he wanted to do was watch Zoe. Why had he considered running to the bishop and asking for an annulment? Yes, their marriage had been impetuous. But she and Violet needed him. And maybe, just maybe, he needed them too.

Zoe sneaked a peek in Abe’s direction. He wiped the last of his shaving cream from his chin and tossed the towel onto the table. He peered at himself in the small wall mirror, smoothed back his unruly hair, and then turned toward her.

Attired in his suit and clerical collar from yesterday, he looked mighty fine. In fact, he’d looked mighty fine without them on too.

She cast her sights to Violet, who’d taken another bottle and gone back to sleep.

“So, I’ll get more milk and a few simple food items,” he whispered. “Do you need anything else?”

Images of his bare chest swam in her mind. With his broad shoulders and bulging arms, he reminded her of a picture she’d once seen of a medieval knight. She could just imagine Abe brandishing a sword and shield, his muscles rippling, as he towered above the enemy.

“Violet and I will be just fine.” She couldn’t meet his gaze lest he see the train of her thoughts and realize how fascinated she’d been watching his grooming. She wasn’t sure why she should be so fascinated. It wasn’t as if he were the first man she’d seen in a state of undress. In the close living quarters of the slums, she’d witnessed plenty of immorality, and she wasn’t naïve about what happened between a man and woman.

Nevertheless, there was something different about Abe. Maybe his self-consciousness and modesty made her more aware of him. Or maybe he was so pure and different from all the men she’d known. Whatever the case, she was having a difficult time ignoring him.

Daylight now cascaded through the windows. She rose and turned off the lantern and then situated Violet in her crate bed.

Abe donned his hat and black broadcloth coat and crossed to the door. With his hand on the handle, he paused, his face troubled, as it had been from time to time since he’d awoken. Though his eyes were as kind as always, she could read the regrets there and guessed he was having second thoughts about marrying her.

She couldn’t blame him. She probably wasn’t the kind of wife he’d hoped to have. And maybe after a night of thinking about the marriage, he realized his mistake. Should she give him a way out? It seemed like the right thing to do.

He opened his mouth to say something, paused, then closed his lips firmly.

“I’d understand if you don’t want me,” she said.

Guilt clouded his eyes. “I’m sorry, Zoe. It all happened so fast, and I’m still trying to make sense of everything.”

“I’ll go. I can find someone else. You’re not obligated to stay with me.”

He shook his head. “No—”

“Dexter Dawson was expecting me to marry him.”

“Absolutely not.” Abe’s brows dipped in a scowl. “I wouldn’t give you over to Dex, not for all the gold in the Cariboo.”

She liked so many things about Abraham Merivale and knew he’d be a good husband—probably the best she could find. But she couldn’t abide trapping him into marriage. She had to release him from staying, if that’s what he wanted. “One night together in this cabin doesn’t bind us.”

She liked that he’d been patient and restrained last night. ’Course, she’d been wide awake when he’d gotten into bed. She’d waited tensely for him to reach for her and had been more than a little surprised—and relieved—when he hadn’t demanded anything. Instead, all he’d done was gently touch her hair.

Aye, he’d bumped into her numerous times throughout the night—a leg or foot or elbow brushing up against her. One time, he’d even draped his arm across her. But he’d done so innocently in a deep sleep that hadn’t been disturbed even when Violet had awoken crying.

“I blame only myself for our predicament.” His voice was harsh and filled with self-censure, and he tipped the brim of his hat down, casting a shadow over his expressive eyes. “In a moment of weakness, I acted rashly and went against my own principles.”

What moment of weakness? Abe always seemed so strong and sure of himself.

“I have no right to ask you to be patient with me as I sort through our options. But would you give me some time?”

A part of her wanted to gather her belongings, pack up Violet, and storm out of the cabin. He didn’t want her and thought their marriage was a mistake. Though she didn’t want to be hurt by that knowledge, it pricked her anyway, more sharply than she liked.

But when he lifted his eyes to hers, the churning blue radiated with apology, giving her no other option but to nod and accept his request.

“Thank you, Zoe,” he whispered. Then he opened the door and was gone. Through the window, she watched him stride down the garden path, his shoulders slumped and head bent.

The pricking in her heart turned into a stab of remorse. She should have known she’d landed in a situation too good to be true.

With a loud exhalation, she pressed her hands against her hips and took in the disheveled state of the cabin. After a moment, she gathered her hair and began to tie it back into a loose knot. There was only one thing to do. Prove to Abe she’d be the kind of wife he wanted and needed. And she’d start by cleaning and organizing his house.