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As I stood on the edge of the Sea of Creation, somehow I knew he wasn’t coming back. He was lost somewhere beyond that line, and always would be lost to this world. He had gone to join another.
I remember someone placing a hand on my shoulder – Ruth, I think – and we lifted off on dragons’ wings, never to return to this haunted place.
After it was all over, no one knew how we had gotten out. Quietus found a way, I guess, just as Alex told her to. The Sea of Creation remade our bodies, and we emerged from it without a single shred of clothing or weapon to our names.
None of that mattered, though. Alex was dead and gone, along with Makara, and Julian. We waited on the shore of the Sea for hours after Alex stopped speaking with me, but I knew the truth.
I was alone, now.
We flew out, returning to the army, naked, cold, and hungry. We were clothed, and fed, but even so, we remained empty. Even with the Radaskim stopped and our world saved, at least for another four hundred years, there would always be a void in our hearts that couldn’t be filled, and I think in mine most of all.
Death is natural, but it feels unnatural. There’s a sense of fairness in our mind that says death should never be. And yet, there it is. There, it always will be. I can only remember Alex, what he did, and how I loved him.
Not an hour, not a minute, goes by when I don’t think of him, knowing he lives eternally in a place I can never go to – not until my dying day. I said I’d follow him, and I suppose this wish will be granted, in time.
Days, then weeks, passed. We lived. We rebuilt. We went on, because that’s what people do. And nine months later, I was given something to remember my husband by.
I had a son. Of course, I named him after his father. He has his eyes and his face, and even as a child, he has that same courage and fearlessness, that ability to brighten one’s day simply by being there, a quiet courage that values actions rather than words.
My husband will never be with me, but because of my son, Alex, some part of him will live on. I’d like to think that he’s watching over me, watching over us...just as he promised. Sometimes, I get the sense that he’s there. At times, I see him in dreams. These are becoming fewer, as the years pass.
Augustus now rules in the Wasteland, and the rule of the Black Reapers is no more. Samuel is one of the Emperor’s most trusted advisors, and he and Ruth are married, now. They have two children, a son and a daughter. They live in Los Angeles with Michael and Lauren, who have also had more children.
A curious thing happened, after the Radaskim fell. The clouds began to go away. It was slow, at first, but it became more discernible with time. The land warmed, and the rain returned, cleansing the dry land. Green things began to grow – in small amounts, but the warmer weather meant more food for all. I suspect, by the time I’m gone, the Wasteland will not be a wasteland for much longer. Perhaps dry, as it had been in the Old World, but with more water and warmth than before.
The Blights have receded, but are not gone. The dragons, both Radaskim and Elekai – but I guess I should say they are all Elekai, now – continue to live and thrive. It turns out that they do need each other. The Radaskim are female, and the Elekai are male, and they are having baby dragons. I think it’s possible for them to originate without that, but this seems a more natural way. Either way, I suppose the Elekai and humanity will have to learn to live with each other. The dragons don’t visit us much, sticking to their Blights, but sometimes I’ll go to see them – though these visits have become fewer as I’ve grown older. It’s hard to relive the past.
After the battle, we tracked the retreating converted Radaskim to Ragnarok Crater, and watched them disappear into the Warrens. We haven’t heard from them since. No one goes that way – not even me. Something tells me a darkness is still rooted down there, but mostly I don’t go because there are too many painful memories. I’ve learned that the pain doesn’t go away with the years. We just make more space for it.
Not to say I’m unhappy. I will always carry my sorrows, but seeing my son grow up is my greatest joy. I live among friends and lead as peaceful a life as I can manage. I have my friends, my son, and we all spend a lot of time together. There’s less shooting, less killing, and more talking, food, and wine. Augustus is always sure to send us a cask every Xenofall to celebrate. That’s what they’re calling the anniversary, now, and it will probably be celebrated every year for a long time. Though Xenofall is a holiday for most, it’s hard for me to celebrate, for understandable reasons. All the same, it’s good that Augustus remembers us.
As far as Carin– he died in the battle. I know how hard he fought, but I can’t help but be glad. He destroyed so many lives, and in the end, it’s hard to imagine him ever being redeemed for it. But at least he died doing something good, and that’s all I have to say about the matter.
I suppose it’s impossible for there to be a completely happy ending, when we have lost so much. Even though I’ve lost Alex, I don’t believe that happiness is impossible. How could I not be happy, when I have so much to be thankful for and a world free of the Radaskim? My thoughts always return to my son, and when I look into his eyes, I see him, and I know that he’s watching over me.
I guess he was right, in the end. He would always be with me. We are all Elekai, still, all bound together with something deeper than friendship, something deeper than love. It’s our common humanity, our common purpose, our common dreams. Alex, Makara, Ashton, and Julian are all gone, and they are all honored, but none so much as Alex. For generations, people will learn about him.
There are so many reasons I love him, and will continue to love him, until the day I die. Forgetting would be impossible, and much more, unwanted. After saving this world, after losing so much, we need a new purpose, or humanity will fight amongst itself again. I lost almost everything of who I was, and I suppose I’ll have to find a way to live with that sadness.
I still wish I could have gone down with him. But then I look at my life, at my son, at every good thing I possess, and know that he was right. This is better.
And a curious thing has happened. It seems as if our children are going to become Elekai as well. They all have the same abilities we do, so whatever change the virus made to us was genetic. I don’t know what that means for our future, but at least for now, it means that the children enjoy visiting Askal and the others whenever we get the chance.
I know, in the end, when I close my eyes for the final time, I’ll go to meet him. But until then, I’m content to live, raise my son, and teach him about his father, the man who gave himself up to save the world, the man who is alive, even today, watching over us all.
We on Earth are the only ones who were able to stop the Radaskim. Some might say it was luck, but I believe he was the reason. I can only hope we can build a world that respects his sacrifice – a world without war. So far, this has been a lasting peace...but I know how easy it is to forget what everyone fought and died for.
That’s why I tell his story to anyone who will listen. In a sense, it’s all of our stories, and if we ever forget what happened here, it will be to our peril. The Radaskim will return, and it’s up to us to begin planning for that...even now.
Until then, we’ll watch, and we’ll wait...
...and we’ll never forget.
THE END