Emerging from the profound spiritual realizations of the Hierophant, the Fool travels along and encounters others at their level for the first time, the Lovers. Here the Fool meets others who reflect the true essence of their truth and beauty, feeling the opening of the heart as they move into the depths of loving. In a spiritual sense, this is a moment of choice to open to the next level of growth as their heart awakens.
The number six is the energy of balance, harmony, and the potent mixing to form something completely new. Six is the number of the heart, connection, balance, and beauty. The union of two threes, six indicates growth and beauty. After the five, we experience a blossoming and richness that stabilizes in the number six and enables us to experience a sense of wholeness on the path. When two sixes come together, we have twelve, the number of petals on the heart chakra mandala.
Love is the opener, the amazing joy of being, the alchemical process that encourages us to stretch our hearts. When we fall in love, we often feel an incredible rush of potential, possibility, and new growth. Many people describe this experience as heady, intoxicating, a rush, or high like no other. Although on a physiological level our brain is being flooded with chemicals when we feel love, there is still such mystery to this immense beauty of experiencing life anew. It is as if we are born again. With this wondrous opening comes the truth of not only beginnings but also endings. Some part of us knows this rush will pass and the glimpse into the Beloved is simply reflected by the lover who sits beside us.
Lovers are known to abandon reason, following the potentially orgiastic madness that is love and pleasure and bliss. Perhaps we need to revisit this wild nourishment in different ways, for to have life without it leads to repression and stagnancy. Learning through intimacy and relationships is some of the most important work on our path as human beings.
Unlike the Two of Cups, where love between two people is rooted in exchange and signifies a more grounded commitment such as marriage, the Lovers is provocative and inherently contains the mystery of the unknown. There is almost an element of danger or the seed of loss—on some level, we all know that a low follows the high of such ecstatic growth. In the spiritual aspects of the Lovers, we learn how to integrate the experience in a grounded way and be open to the inherent pain of loss of love when the breakup or dissolution inevitably happens.
The key of the Lovers’ truth is the discovery that the wellspring of love lives in our own heart. We do not need to rely on others or the world to satisfy this demand. Recognizing that our beloved is simply a reflection may require us to traverse the wounds and conditioning that have prevented or traumatized us from that full experience. When the Fool meets the Lovers, they dive deep to discover that ultimately, love is our only goal here on earth—to learn to accept and give love.
In the Waite-Smith deck, we see two figures, naked and free in the shining imagery of the sun symbolizing the illumined beauty of love. Above them is an angel making the gesture of divine guidance and blessings that accompanies an experience of deep loving, passion, growth, and beauty. Behind the lovers are fruiting trees and a mountain peak symbolizing growth that is upward, reaching new heights through an impassioned experience.
In the Crowley deck, the two figures face one another—one dark, one light, one male, one female. In this way we see a coming together of two different energies that allow us to grow and dissolve limiting boundaries. At the bottom of the card are two children, symbols of the innocence and playfulness that accompanies the experience of love. The children are a reminder to delight in our life and find the beauty and miracles in small things. When we fall in love our senses are often heightened and we attune to the magic and mystery continuously alive and permeated with love.
Above the Lovers is Cupid, pointing his arrow of pleasure and passion. Cupid is a diminutive version of the more ancient power of Eros, the mystical force of the creative wild that moves through all things. Being shot with an arrow of love is an often erratic and unexpected experience. The appearance of the Lovers card may indicate that a passionate love is on its way that will be wild, untamed, and won’t happen in a convenient or orderly way. In this way, the Lovers shakes the Fool’s plans in preparation for the next phase of the journey on the Chariot.
When the Lovers card appears in a reading, we ask ourselves, who do we love? How do we love? Why do we love? Sometimes it indicates the appearance of new lover or deepening of passion with a current beloved. Other times it is a call to make a choice to take the higher path of love and follow an inner passion or take a leap of courage. The Lovers indicates a time when we must make a choice, and in doing so, leave behind others or paths in order to take the new one. The Fool has deepened their understanding of gifts, skills, and parental imprints and has reflected on the spiritual truths. They are ready to choose something guided by love, courage, beauty, and the deepening journey into the unknown.
Essential Qualities: love, connection, wildness, danger, excitement, union, play, sensuality, reflection, choice, passion, energy, compassion, creativity
Suggestions: Pay attention to everything occurring in your life right now. Is it harmonious or filled with drama? Are you suffering or do you feel content with the world? Notice the way you express and experience love in your life. Do you focus on family, romantic relationships, parenting, work, or nature? Do you allow love in or do you shut it out? Can you feel some kind of love moving through you each day? Fall in love! Fall in love with the fleeting world. Although there are terrible things and frightening scenarios being played out, there is also immense beauty surrounding us all the time. No matter who we are or what state our lives are in, each of us is a unique and brilliant soul briefly transiting an earthly body. Allow yourself to feel love for that journey and embody the truth of the Lovers more fully each day.
Ceremony: Self-Marriage
Although the Lovers card is often associated with passion or sharing love with another person, it can also symbolize the connection to our own self-love. One of the most potent ceremonies I did for myself was to travel to far eastern India and create a self-marriage ceremony. This act arose out of a need to recommit to my own path and clear vision of my offering to the world; I was married at the time yet needed to find my center once again. The ceremony acted as a catalyst to my next phase of work with the sacred feminine and the Fire of the Goddess. The first vow I spoke was to call back all parts of myself, which is the quintessential component of the Lovers card: reunion with all of who we are. When I spoke those words aloud in the witness of the temple priest and surrounded by ancient Dakini goddess images of the divine feminine, I felt a deep shift. My self-marriage acted as a powerful initiation; after this ceremony, I felt a profound sense of joy and purpose. We often lack direction in Western culture; this ceremony was a way for me to anchor it into my own life and path.
The two most important elements of the self-marriage ceremony are stating vows to oneself and having a witness. Crafting a set of intentional vows or promises is a powerful statement for both the seen and unseen worlds. Having someone witness this seals the healing and offers us the needed reflection in your ceremonial work. Your self-marriage ceremony can be as intricate and complex or as simple as you want. I have assisted many friends and clients with creating elaborate ceremonies where they invited friends and families, held a party, and shared their vows in a dramatic way. Others have simply lit a candle and spoken their vows with one other person present as a witness.
Suggestions for creating your self-marriage ceremony: find a beautiful place in nature; incorporate candles, flowers, bowls of water, or other elements you associate with love, connection, beauty, and grace. If you want, wear something special that embodies your inner beloved in celebration of your true Self. Spend time contemplating and writing your vows beforehand and then state them aloud with one or more witnesses. You may offer flowers to the water as a way to invoke beauty and love. Include songs, prayers, and blessings just as you might in a conventional wedding. This is a creative, intentional initiation that connects you deeply to your inner Self and aligns you more fully on your soul journey.